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    (Original post by Elivercury)
    I agree, it's ridiculous. I even saw a woman with her ankles on display the other day! What a harlot.

    What I really find sad is that in society today you still think you get to command what your partner wears. What one person considers revealing another might consider conservative, there is no universal truth, although even if there was it is still their decision to wear it. If you don't like it, don't date them.
    The only universal truth is that lax clothing, sexual promiscuity and increasingly soft attitudes have resulted in increased rates of infidelity.

    That last point about 'don't like, don't date' is exactly my point - if one is insistent on dressing like a harlot when she is taken, then she has little quality as a potential partner and should be ditched asap.
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    (Original post by AndrewSCO)
    I will concede that she'll probably get attention no matter what, so you're right. I don't think this problem will go away with the dress. I wonder if the problem is if the guy thinks it's if she's trying to do or not.

    Assuming her innocence in this situation (which I assume is correct) it's an unfortunate situation where you can see both sides. I have a gf too and I hate seeing people hit on her, whether through messages or irl. There's nothing shameful about having insecurities, not everyone is the most confident person in the world. This girl should just understand he's uncontrollably hurt by the situation and make an effort to make him more comfortable.
    I don't blame the OP for having insecurities, he's only human and as you state, not everyone can be 100% confident all the time. However ultimately trust is important for the relationship and the solution should be for him to discuss his insecurities with his gf and work to deal with them so that he has complete confidence in her.

    Incidentally, you may find that if he's honest about his insecurities she may decide not to wear the dress out of consideration for him, not because he has told her not to wear it.

    Ultimately she has no control over whether she gets hit on and ,while some people struggle to grasp it, plenty of women (and men) wear things to feel good about themselves, or because they like it and not to get hit on. Punishing her for other people's actions is the height of unfairness.
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    (Original post by Zamestaneh)
    The only universal truth is that lax clothing, sexual promiscuity and increasingly soft attitudes have resulted in increased rates of infidelity.

    That last point about 'don't like, don't date' is exactly my point - if one is insistent on dressing like a harlot when she is taken, then she has little quality as a potential partner and should be ditched asap.
    Obviously. Knocking boots with your neighbours wife never happened at all when we used to be more conservative. Perhaps the solution to the OPs problem is to beat some sense into his gf?

    She is presumably wearing the exact same clothes she wore when they first met and he didn't have an issue with them then. Ergo he should have no issue with them now. Or should all women cover themselves head to toe the moment they get a boyfriend to hide the "goods" from the rest of the world?
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    Why did she disobey your orders?
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    lol this guy sounds like christian grey
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    (Original post by Elivercury)
    I don't blame the OP for having insecurities, he's only human and as you state, not everyone can be 100% confident all the time. However ultimately trust is important for the relationship and the solution should be for him to discuss his insecurities with his gf and work to deal with them so that he has complete confidence in her.

    Incidentally, you may find that if he's honest about his insecurities she may decide not to wear the dress out of consideration for him, not because he has told her not to wear it.

    Ultimately she has no control over whether she gets hit on and ,while some people struggle to grasp it, plenty of women (and men) wear things to feel good about themselves, or because they like it and not to get hit on. Punishing her for other people's actions is the height of unfairness.
    I absolutely agree with everything you said.

    And regarding the bold part, I think a lot of people have been really defensive over this part as I don't think he ever suggested he was forcing her not to wear it and that he did just want to have a discussion about it and tell her how he felt.

    I think many girls do like getting hit on while in a relationship which I disagree with but we just don't know her intentions so can't make judgements.

    Your post pretty much sums up the answer to the whole thread though, with my addition in finding out her intentions behind the dress which I think is important.
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    (Original post by AndrewSCO)
    I absolutely agree with everything you said.

    And regarding the bold part, I think a lot of people have been really defensive over this part as I don't think he ever suggested he was forcing her not to wear it and that he did just want to have a discussion about it and tell her how he felt.

    I think many girls do like getting hit on while in a relationship which I disagree with but we just don't know her intentions so can't make judgements.

    Your post pretty much sums up the answer to the whole thread though, with my addition in finding out her intentions behind the dress which I think is important.
    I think people have been defensive or trying to offer constructive criticism over how he broaches the subject.

    Starting with "Okay, It's not your fault, but I feel I have to tell you that I feel somewhat insecure when guys hit on you." is very different from "I don't think you should wear that dress anymore as it makes me uncomfortable, you get hit on too much". One blames her and the other doesn't.

    Likewise without dealing with his insecurities it can only get worse until she has to wear a potato sack and no makeup.

    I don't think her "intentions" matter RE compliments vs personal self esteem. It's nice to get complimented by anyone and wanting to be complimented is in no way being unfaithful. Not to mention that "knowing you look good" is often established via third party feedback (i.e. compliments) so I doubt you can really separate the two.
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    (Original post by Elivercury)
    I think people have been defensive or trying to offer constructive criticism over how he broaches the subject.

    Starting with "Okay, It's not your fault, but I feel I have to tell you that I feel somewhat insecure when guys hit on you." is very different from "I don't think you should wear that dress anymore as it makes me uncomfortable, you get hit on too much". One blames her and the other doesn't.

    Likewise without dealing with his insecurities it can only get worse until she has to wear a potato sack and no makeup.

    I don't think her "intentions" matter RE compliments vs personal self esteem. It's nice to get complimented by anyone and wanting to be complimented is in no way being unfaithful. Not to mention that "knowing you look good" is often established via third party feedback (i.e. compliments) so I doubt you can really separate the two.
    Even the second part there isn't blaming her imo, but I agree with your point. I just don't think the OP gave me the impression he was going to be a **** about it.

    And regarding the intentions, I still disagree that she shouldn't be doing it for that reason. Compliments are nice if you get them sure, but she's in a relationship, she shouldn't be going out of her way to get them from guys. If (and I say if) she's thinking to herself "I'm going to wear this dress cause it will make guys hit on me" then I think that's clearly wrong but that's my opinion. I don't see why a girl who's happy in a relationship would feel the need to go get attention from other guys. And yes I know she may not be doing it for this reason in the first place.
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    Sounds like they should not be in a relationship with each other.

    He's clearly insecure and is eaten up with jealousy - his problem to change his own behaviour, not hers.

    She clearly likes the attention without having to 'compromise' because OP can't control his own emotions.

    Result: more insecurity for OP, reinforced rebellion by GF. If this continues, the outcome will be a self-fulfilling prophecy for the OP with the GF building relationship claustrophobia and resentment with ultimately OP's jealousy destroying the relationship.

    OP: This problem is entirely created by your own personality. Don't blame your GF, you are the one stifling her personality.

    Hopefully she will come to her senses and dump you first - your loss not hers.
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    But the problem isn't the dress, its other people's reactions to it, so why is your problem with her? I get that you've stated how uncomfortable you are with her wearing it, but I'm not sure why she should change. You need to find a balance where you're both comfortable, but I doubt asking her to stop wearing something she likes is the way to do that.
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    There are scantily clad women all over the media, films, tv, magazines, its even made its way into gaming consoles, and women everywhere find themselves constantly comparing themselves, feeling insecure and sitting back examining their cellulite whilst seeing this **** pushed in the male populace faces, and heterosexual males look all the time whilst the gfs/wives pretend not to notice, and it doesnt make women feel good. But what we dont do is make men, throw out the tv, internet, magazines or games consoles. We have to deal with it. Im pretty sure at some point maybe straight after telling his gf she couldnt wear the dress he waited patiently (while she changed) with a cup of tea and reading FHMs 100 most sexiest women or maybe surfed some porn on the net!!!

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    (Original post by Elivercury)
    To be fair, my wife asks me to choose her dress/help her decide what to wear on a semi-regular basis. It's a fun game.

    I pick a dress/cardigan/shoes/whatever at random, she complains I'm not taking it seriously, I spend several minutes insisting I am, she wears it, she then complains I picked the wrong thing for the rest of the evening.

    Ill win the game one day.
    hahaha ... i just grunt and and say yes to every suggestion... usually followed by so which one... "Grunt"

    Then tell her she looks beautiful 5 minutes later and she is happy
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    (Original post by Betelgeuse-)
    hahaha ... i just grunt and and say yes to every suggestion... usually followed by so which one... "Grunt"

    Then tell her she looks beautiful 5 minutes later and she is happy
    I'm clearly doing it wrong. Apparently if I tell her she looks beautiful in all the outfits, I'm just avoiding making a decision! Lets not even discuss what happens if I suggest one of them DOESN'T look good....

    Ah well.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Me, my girlfriend and a few friends went out the other night. I picked my girlfriends dress, she tried them on I picked the one I liked the most. Half way through the night she changed into a more revealing dress for no reason. During the night she got complements from other boys and it really upset me that I went home (I get really anxious aswell and uncomfortable in situations easily). My GF said that it was nothing to worry about, she said sorry for changing dresses from the one I picked and we moved on.

    This weekend were going out again and she wants to wear the same dress. I don't know how I feel about this.

    Should I be upset that she wants to wear a dress that upset me so much when other people were looking and commenting? I'm not the person to say you can't wear this or that, so I'm in a bit of a situation here.

    Any positive constructive comments welcome.
    Thank you.

    As a woman, I can understand where you're coming from here. My boyfriend is quite attractive and has been getting compliments on his looks recently, which makes me feel uncomfortable, so I've asked him to wear a balaclava to be considerate of my feelings.

    Like any reasonable adult he agreed to have his clothing controlled by someone else and things went fine for a while, until a woman complimented him on the balaclava.

    Now I've asked him not to go out and to sit in a windowless room all day to avoid the possibility that anyone other than me may be attracted to him. Naturally, I thought this was a perfectly reasonable request as he should be considerate of my feelings as his girlfriend but now he's going on about how "controlling" I am and saying things like "what kind of psychopathic stalker won't even let me dress myself?"

    I'm at my wit's end with him. He just doesn't understand how my feelings are more important than his freedom and personal choice.
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    (Original post by Yamica1)
    As a woman, I can understand where you're coming from here. My boyfriend is quite attractive and has been getting compliments on his looks recently, which makes me feel uncomfortable, so I've asked him to wear a balaclava to be considerate of my feelings.

    Like any reasonable adult he agreed to have his clothing controlled by someone else and things went fine for a while, until a woman complimented him on the balaclava.

    Now I've asked him not to go out and to sit in a windowless room all day to avoid the possibility that anyone other than me may be attracted to him. Naturally, I thought this was a perfectly reasonable request as he should be considerate of my feelings as his girlfriend but now he's going on about how "controlling" I am and saying things like "what kind of psychopathic stalker won't even let me dress myself?"

    I'm at my wit's end with him. He just doesn't understand how my feelings are more important than his freedom and personal choice.
    LOL
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    My advice would be just let her wear it. If she's happy wearing it,good for her .I think this is an issue about trust tbh. if u trust her then u shouldn't worry cause she'll always like u no matter what.
    It's like her saying: the shirt that ur wearing gives u too much attention. Why don't u change it.
    u will obviously feel like ur in the ****est relationship ever.

    Well its up to u to decide.I'm just saying my opinion so plz don't hate.
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    This is bloody ridiculous. Your girlfriend can wear what she wants and maybe she doesn't do it for attention from other guys but she thinks the dress boosts her confidence and makes her feel sexy? The fact that you're jealous is your problem and you need to work on your insecurity. Otherwise this relationship isn't going to work.
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    (Original post by Elivercury)
    Obviously. Knocking boots with your neighbours wife never happened at all when we used to be more conservative. Perhaps the solution to the OPs problem is to beat some sense into his gf?

    She is presumably wearing the exact same clothes she wore when they first met and he didn't have an issue with them then. Ergo he should have no issue with them now. Or should all women cover themselves head to toe the moment they get a boyfriend to hide the "goods" from the rest of the world?
    I'm not denying that it happened, but I mean back then infidelity is very likely to have happened less than today in the West, as society was more firmly against it in both attitude and law; today's society has tonnes of things (including fashion, media, advertising, music etc) which contribute massively to the current degenerate culture of today which glorifies over-sexualisation, ultimately resulting in looser morality and the probably of infidelity increasing.

    He should not beat his GF obviously, but he should sit her down and talk to her, and if she doesn't listen, then leave her.

    I am all for both men and women covering up in public anyway, but given that Western society is a long way off that, the least that should be done is a man/woman dress more modestly after becoming a couple, yes, because there is little reason for them to want to look overly sexually attractive through little clothing in public after they are taken; you might argue that they feel 'confident' and 'attractive' by dressing that way, but it is possible to reach an equilibrium between being being modest and being attractive, without making oneself too sexually attractive.
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    (Original post by sameehaiqbal)
    This is bloody ridiculous. Your girlfriend can wear what she wants and maybe she doesn't do it for attention from other guys but she thinks the dress boosts her confidence and makes her feel sexy? The fact that you're jealous is your problem and you need to work on your insecurity. Otherwise this relationship isn't going to work.
    Would you be happy if your husband waved his thing in the faces of girls (ignoring the law aspect of indecent exposure)? What if he said his excuse was 'it makes me feel confident, it makes me feel sexy' ? Obviously this is a very extreme example, but it is the same principle. Men and women should cover up, because hypersexualisation is a social disease that must be eradicated.
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    (Original post by Zamestaneh)
    Would you be happy if your husband waved his thing in the faces of girls (ignoring the law aspect of indecent exposure)? What if he said his excuse was 'it makes me feel confident, it makes me feel sexy' ? Obviously this is a very extreme example, but it is the same principle. Men and women should cover up, because hypersexualisation is a social disease that must be eradicated.
    No offence but ... Lol, wow this is getting even more ridiculous. His girlfriend wasn't obviously walking around flashing her pussy or her tits. Your example in comparison to the OP's situation is absolutely ridiculously invalid. It is NOT the same principle. Had the OP's girlfriend been flashing her boobs or her pussy at the party then I would've understood. But it was probably just a normal dress. His girlfriend could be wearing a maxi dress (fairly covered) and still get compliments from guys because she looks beautiful or pretty? What does the OP want his girlfriend to do then? Stop wearing makeup, doing her hair and wearing nice clothes so she shall not receive compliments?

    There have been many occasions where people have called me beautiful after seeing my profile picture. I am NOT revealing anything apart from my face. So, what should my "insecure husband" do in this case? Tell me to be a nun? Silly.
 
 
 
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