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Just discovered my girlfriend used to be a man watch

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    (Original post by XOR_)
    Sorry, wait...
    How could one not know they are sleeping with a man?

    The odds really lean towards this being a troll post.
    Yes, it probably is, but assuming it's not, people who identify with the opposite gender can get hormone therapy: this gives them a body more typical of the other gender, and if they really want to, and have the money, doctors can effectively remove the penis and re-use the sensitive tissue to create a 'vagina' equally the inverse is possible with the female to male transition. So depending on how long they have been having hormone therapy and whether they had the final operation it could always be possible.
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    (Original post by BobSausage)
    Ok she betrayed his trust. Yes I understand this, but this is the only other argument anyone has given. Why is he shallow enough to just drop the relationship due to a lie? There are a million and one ways to end a relationship, and if it were true love then they could remain friends bonded by their mental and social similarities, but instead he storms out in a huff? His reaction makes him sound as if he were just in it for the sex, not actual friendship or companionship. In the words of Shakespeare:

    "It is an eve-fixéd mark,
    That looks on tempests and is never shaken"
    - Shakespeare, Sonnet 116

    My point he evidently didn't care for her, one lie is not enough to shatter a relationship And thus my point is proved, he is shallow, and was never interested in a long term relationship with the poor woman, whose heart he has now broken.
    The way he went about handling the situation was, undoubtedly, wrong. However, trust forms the very basis of any relationship and if he feels as though she betrayed this trust then he has every right to walk away. There's nothing wrong with ending a relationship because one party kept such a massive secret for a very long time. You may consider it to be one small lie but, evidently, to him it meant much more.
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    (Original post by JLegion)
    You legitimately just insulted someone for insulting people.
    Also, your response is based on gender philosophy rather than anything logical. Consider that the OP might have a different perception on relationships than you, and you should accept that, just as you have a different perception on relationships in terms of what genders can partner.

    Anyway...
    I would have probably done the same thing. I would not have called her a freak for sure, as that's a pretty disgusting way to behave. Either way, she isn't right for you (she lied, and isn't the gender you desire) and you certainly aren't right for her (you called her a 'freak' for being who she is).

    I'm not an expert by any means, I was just looking around. That's my thoughts.
    I understand the point you've made perfectly clear, but TBH, the guy who commented needed to be insulted. What right does he have to pass judgement at someone when his opinions are clearly biased and closed-minded? Anyways, if you want logic, I have first-hand experience of knowing a transgender person. They were born as one gender, and throughout their life showed signs that they had been born in the wrong body. Not only that, genetic material determines what sex you are at birth, but you can be assigned male, when you should have been female. Also, as I have already said, the ex girlfriend probably didn't want to tell her partner of her past to begin with because, again, she may have been scared of how he could've reacted and the effect that it might have had on their relationship. I'm not having a go (arguing) but I just wanted to better explain my views.
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by BobSausage)
    Ok she betrayed his trust. Yes I understand this, but this is the only other argument anyone has given. Why is he shallow enough to just drop the relationship due to a lie? There are a million and one ways to end a relationship, and if it were true love then they could remain friends bonded by their mental and social similarities, but instead he storms out in a huff? His reaction makes him sound as if he were just in it for the sex, not actual friendship or companionship. In the words of Shakespeare:

    "It is an eve-fixéd mark,
    That looks on tempests and is never shaken"
    - Shakespeare, Sonnet 116

    My point he evidently didn't care for her, one lie is not enough to shatter a relationship And thus my point is proved, he is shallow, and was never interested in a long term relationship with the poor woman, whose heart he has now broken.
    Op said he has been with her for two years, so how would he be in it just for sex? You don't know this your assuming it because of the lack of details given. The same way none of us know whether he truly loved her.

    Also I'm pretty sure he didn't break up with because of one lie. Otherwise they would of broken up months ago. I'm pretty sure he broke up with her because of HOW big/serious the lie was, not simply because of the act of lying. Another reason could be is because of how disgusted he felt going out with a man who who thought was a woman all this time, because of the fact that he could be straight.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's not an insult its a fact she was and still is a male, never a female, like I said it's a mental illness. It's not that I don't think there 'normal' there just 'different', which you could say that everyone is different in there own way.
    Your not understanding my point just becuase they claim there male, there still biologically a female(I'm talking about the example about you not the OP)
    Well if everyone is different in their own way, then so is the girlfriend. The OP's reaction to her 'coming out' was vile, and also, I think you are in the wrong by thinking that trans-sexuality is a mental illness, there's absolutely no evidence to back it up. Like with the OP, you need to get into the 21st century this instant. I didn't want to argue with you, nor did I want to think of you as someone who is particularly bad, but you just left me no choice.
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    #4

    (Original post by Adamski191)
    Well if everyone is different in their own way, then so is the girlfriend. The OP's reaction to her 'coming out' was vile, and also, I think you are in the wrong by thinking that trans-sexuality is a mental illness, there's absolutely no evidence to back it up. Like with the OP, you need to get into the 21st century this instant. I didn't want to argue with you, nor did I want to think of you as someone who is particularly bad, but you just left me no choice.
    Your could say that his reaction to the situation wasn't the best and could of be done differently, however you don't know what he has been through with his ex girlfriend and the amount of trauma the situation has caused; pretty much anyone else would act in a similar way because of how shocking it was.

    I don't need evidence to back up my opinion, I wasn't saying that it is a fact that being trans is a mental illness, its just what I believe.
    I don't understand, you think I'm a bad person because I don't agree with you?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Your could say that his reaction to the situation wasn't the best and could of be done differently, however you don't know what he has been through with his ex girlfriend and the amount of trauma the situation has caused; pretty much anyone else would act in a similar way because of how shocking it was.

    I don't need evidence to back up my opinion, I wasn't saying that it is a fact that being trans is a mental illness, its just what I believe.
    I don't understand, you think I'm a bad person because I don't agree with you?
    I'm not arguing with you anymore after this.
    Of course it wasn't the best reaction to what happened, I'm sure there was some trauma but it's no excuse to fly off the handle the way he did, if anyone else reacted that way they needed to compose themselves, yes you DO need evidence, and I think you're a bad person because you have such a low respect level for people you don't agree with.

    Good day to you!
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    (Original post by Legendary Quest)
    The way he went about handling the situation was, undoubtedly, wrong. However, trust forms the very basis of any relationship and if he feels as though she betrayed this trust then he has every right to walk away. There's nothing wrong with ending a relationship because one party kept such a massive secret for a very long time. You may consider it to be one small lie but, evidently, to him it meant much more.
    A lie is a lie no matter how big or small it can lead to a loss of trust in a relationship, yes. But surely is forgiveness not as important-a quality? We all make mistakes and forgiveness is necessary for a relationship to function.

    I still think that had it have been true love then he could have found it to forgive her rather than calling her a 'freak' and walking out on her. If he really couldn't handle it he could've calmly spoken to her and terminated the relationship but his reaction says he was only in it for physical romance and passion and the idea of having it with a man was what 'sickened' him, he is as much to blame as his girlfriend.
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    (Original post by kirigiri)
    if on the off chance this isnt bait:

    wow, that was terrible of you! you could not have handled that much worse. she literally told you that she felt like killing herself and you thought that it was an appropriate time to call her a freak and dump her? jesus. she deserves better than you.

    as to the idea of "i had the right to know/she should have told me": why??? literally what difference does it make. it doesnt matter if someone is not the same gender now as they were born as. they are the gender they identify with now. the past is irrelevent. the only time you would even remotely need to know is if youre having sex (if they havent transitioned) or if youre trying to conceive (if they have).
    thinking negatively of her because shes trans is undeniably transphobic.

    seriously, youre a ****, op.
    absolutely not! he was wrong to call her a freak but it was unfair she never told him he had every right to know! if he wanted children in the future it was selfish of her not telling him
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Op said he has been with her for two years, so how would he be in it just for sex? You don't know this your assuming it because of the lack of details given. The same way none of us know whether he truly loved her.

    Also I'm pretty sure he didn't break up with because of one lie. Otherwise they would of broken up months ago. I'm pretty sure he broke up with her because of HOW big/serious the lie was, not simply because of the act of lying. Another reason could be is because of how disgusted he felt going out with a man who who thought was a woman all this time, because of the fact that he could be straight.
    I make the assumption based off of the facts given, reacting as he did to a lie, yes a big lie, but still a lie nonetheless. But my point is that a relationship is as much about the mental and emotional togetherness as the physical, and if you look at it in such a way: they still share the same ideologies and interests as they did before but the physical bond is damaged by the lie, surely this is reparable upon the assumption that their's was as true-a love as any, and again do I find myself drawn back to poetry:

    "Observe how the wound heals in time,
    how the skin slowly knits,
    and once more becomes whole"
    - Martyn Lowery - Our love now

    True love suffers damage but with time will heal. If he is in his own words 'sickened' to think of his lover as a man, then their love was never true.
    And my point still stands for the relationship should not be restricted by sexuality, and if he felt that strongly about his sexuality could he not have been more gentle in revealing this to his ex-girlfriend, and remained friends if not lovers?
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    Just like "The Crying Game".
    • #6
    #6

    but we're all just people! the fact that u liked her before u knew she was trans is evidence that it doesn't matter what gender she 'used to Be' ... if you're embarrassed to be with her or whatever make sure she doesn't tell anyone else. also calling her a freak was harsh, sure she lied but wouldn't u? I'd be so scared to tell my boyfriend in fear of him leaving me and calling me a freak
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    1. Transgender people can understand a man better. It`s simple, since transgender women used to be men it is easier for them to understand what a straight or bisexual man thinks and wants from his life partner and not only. This is what men are always looking for in a woman: understanding and tolerance

    2. There are no fat trannies as they care about the looks and take care of themselves

    3. No PMS, period and other chit

    4. Trannies know how to cook as best chiefs in the world are men

    5. They tend to be more feminine and sensual them natural born women. A transgender woman embraces femininity without apology. Sexy lingerie, frilly panties.

    6. They know how to handle the ****

    7. They are not slooths and don't act like whine bishes

    8. They have something extra to make sex life better and are open minded to new ideas and fetishes

    9. They can't get pregnant and you can always ***

    10. The best of both worlds! No infections or other chit, just aesthetic cawk
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    Lol omg the first guy is literally gagging.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by ALittleLost25)
    1. Transgender people can understand a man better. It`s simple, since transgender women used to be men it is easier for them to understand what a straight or bisexual man thinks and wants from his life partner and not only. This is what men are always looking for in a woman: understanding and tolerance

    2. There are no fat trannies as they care about the looks and take care of themselves

    3. No PMS, period and other chit

    4. Trannies know how to cook as best chiefs in the world are men

    5. They tend to be more feminine and sensual them natural born women. A transgender woman embraces femininity without apology. Sexy lingerie, frilly panties.

    6. They know how to handle the ****

    7. They are not slooths and don't act like whine bishes

    8. They have something extra to make sex life better and are open minded to new ideas and fetishes

    9. They can't get pregnant and you can always ***

    10. The best of both worlds! No infections or other chit, just aesthetic cawk
    Sounds like an advert.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by Katiee224)
    We are all female before we are born, does it matter what gender we used to be?
    Yes.

    (Original post by kirigiri)
    seriously, youre a ****, op.
    She's the ****. How can you be in a relationship that long before admitting you're ******. Can't believe people on here are spinning the narrative.Has TSR been invaded by tumblr?

    (Original post by Lord of the Flies)
    ."She should've told him" - when? On their first date? Two weeks in? Please. OP dated this person for who she is.
    Before the first date. Please stop being a complete idiot. Clearly she isn't who OP thought she was anyway. So using purely your posts logic, OP was correct to dump her

    /thread
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    (Original post by BobSausage)
    You are really very shallow. You believe the main idea of a relation ship is just to 'stick your **** in it'... really? The whole idea of a relationship is you and the person have an emotional and mental bond as well as a physical one, and if you have two of the three you can work on the third. If you are only there for your lustful passions then I pity whoever falls in love with you, if anyone is foolish enough to. As I said earlier when he didn't know it he was fine with it, had he never have found out they would still be together, but no: he, like you, was morally and mentally shallow. I feel sorry for her, but he deserved everything he got and more.
    You are some next level beta, and no I didn't say that, I said you are pretty much ****ing a dude who tf wants that. So because he didn't know that makes it alright? If I feed my girlfriend "Quorn" whatever that soy stuff is, but its actually meat does that make it okay because she doesn't know? And he was happy BEFORE because he was UNDER THE IMPRESSION SHE WAS A GIRL. Anyway this is probably a troll post gg
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    but we're all just people! the fact that u liked her before u knew she was trans is evidence that it doesn't matter what gender she 'used to Be' ... if you're embarrassed to be with her or whatever make sure she doesn't tell anyone else. also calling her a freak was harsh, sure she lied but wouldn't u? I'd be so scared to tell my boyfriend in fear of him leaving me and calling me a freak
    wait are you a transexual who has done the same thing? And no… he liked her because he was under the impression she was a girl, not a man
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    Why can't people be honest at the beginning of relationships about these kinds of things :/
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    sorry in advance for long post good lord

    (Original post by IronicalMan)
    Well it is an It because it is neither female or male. It's a male with the penis cut off and turned inside out, and pumped full of hormones, not the same as someone born a female. And I can call trans people "It" unfortunately when the English language was forming they only had males and females, so you need to think of another he/she word for trans people or those that identify as planes or whatever, because it's not my job.
    she is a female. you are terrible. she is a she. end of.

    (Original post by Alextaylor6)
    if you were a guy then you would understand
    what difference does my gender make? you dont even know my gender.
    if i were a guy, would i suddenly be gross about people being trans?
    im pretty sure thats not how it works.

    (Original post by tailred)
    Seriously? You are not even taking into account the OP's feelings and as well as that, his personal values. His former partner disrespected him by keeping this a secret. Don't get me wrong, I can understand why she would keep it a secret, but this does not excuse the fact that she lacked total respect for him and his wishes.

    If she respected him, she would tell him of his gender dysphoria and any procedure undergone. She did not care about how he felt, or at least had very little care for his own personal well being. she was being selfish and childish.

    In this situation, he is not a ****. What would happen if the OP had specific religious beliefs, that go against transexuality? What would he do then.

    What if he wanted children with this person? what if he does not want to adopt or have IVF.

    All of this emotional pain could have been avoided if she told him about her gender dyphoria and let him make up his own mind.
    she had no obligation to tell him. there should have been no difference in his feelings because being trans shouldnt affect ones feelings (unless youre transphobic, that is). the only other time would be if they were having sex or trying to have children (depending on state of transition).
    op just seems to be transphobic given the last paragraph on how he thinks of her now. therefore - op is still a ****.

    (Original post by rehmanator)
    absolutely not! he was wrong to call her a freak but it was unfair she never told him he had every right to know! if he wanted children in the future it was selfish of her not telling him
    did you not read the post you quoted? trying to have children is one of the only reasons why telling someone youre trans would be necessary. its not selfish otherwise.

    (Original post by lucabrasi98)
    She's the ****. How can you be in a relationship that long before admitting you're ******. Can't believe people on here are spinning the narrative.Has TSR been invaded by tumblr?
    honestly if youre going to try and make a reasonable argument you coulf at least try not to seem blatantly transphobic (dont use that word)
    and haha tumblr so funny comedy gold not overused at all 10/10 👌👌
 
 
 
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