Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

is it shallow to reject someone on looks Watch

    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    I don't think this is about just looks.

    I think it's more about how this guy presents himself, and she's just not attracted to it.

    You ever looked at someone differently after a while, or after they go through some big change in attitude and personality? If this guy does it right, he might have a chance I dare say.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    Okay I don't know about others but for me personally if you're in the middle..i.e you're not making me get butterflies and at the same time I'm not vomiting over your looks then yeah if your personality seems in line with what I'm looking for I'd chat.

    But there is that line...and you all know what I'm talking about. Where you look at someone and you just think....TAXXIIIIIIII! But it's not rude, it's not harsh. Happens to everyone. You have the people who are all over you; the people who could take or leave you and then the people who are just like how dare you even think I'd be interested in you.

    It's just life I think.

    But if someone is 'in the middle' and you don't know if you're attracted or not then I'd personally give it a go.

    We don't owe it to anyone to go out with them. If someone rejects someone for whatever reason and there actually could have been something there..neither of them will ever know anyway and can both move on to more suitable people.

    Would you want to have someone say 'yes' to you out of pity? I don't think so..me neither.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So help him...? Go gym together. Nothing gets you more stimulated than exercising. Actually you know what? Just reject him lol.
    He deserves better. No one is perfect.
    Why are you anon?

    And please..just a question I'm not having a go.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    No... just cuz you're in a friendship w/ them does not mean you want to be more than friends. The fact that you're their friend should be enough instead of them expecting something. Plus, why build a friendship w/ a person you couldn't have? Its like the person was setting themselves up from the beginning with high exceptions and messages they wanted to believe.

    Oh,yeah. No one is obligated to date someone b/c they're friends w/ them. If the guy doesn't share the values you like in a guy why get involved w/ him out of guilt?
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by upperechelon)
    so if someone you knew really well and liked spending time with asked you out, and you said no, because you are not physically attracted to them, you aren't shallow right? isn't that the defining difference between a friend and a potential lover? it doesn't make you a bad person does it?
    http://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51...NjA4MQ%3D%3D.2

    Banter! :lol:
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by upperechelon)
    Also I am quite into health and fitness etc, and would like someone who similarly likes to take care of their body. He does not share this ethos of mine
    In other words, you want a guy that lifts. :dumbells:

    If you want a guy that lifts, there are similar same standards you have to live up to yourself such as working out
    yourself to also meal prepping etc.

    Its a 2-way street imo. :moon:
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I only require long hair, a beard and minimum one testicle.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Atlas Thugged)
    I have a friend who was given a 70k car before they could drive, a shift in Tesco's doesn't exactly cover that :rofl: I'm not trying to be nasty, but if I were overweight or ugly and said to my mum why can't I get girls, she should tell me it's because I'm fat and I would use that as motivation to lose weight. My mind is blown that I'm having this conversation with someone.


    Also I am a feminist and these things are not mutually exclusive.
    You're a guy and a feminist, you should be ashamed of yourself.
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    No its not shallow, people reject others for many reasons. Looks is a basic aspect of attraction. Its only shallow if your standards in looks are really high.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by XxKingSniprxX)
    In other words, you want a guy that lifts. :dumbells:

    If you want a guy that lifts, there are similar same standards you have to live up to yourself such as working out
    yourself to also meal prepping etc.

    Its a 2-way street imo. :moon:
    Not really to be honest. I go running every other day and I do like to watch what I eat, but I don't only want a 'guy that lifts.' Just someone who exercises with some element of fitness and isn't sitting in a computer chair all day
    • Section Leader
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    It's not nice to be rejected for the way you look, but it's unavoidable that not everyone will find your looks attractive. Unlike wealth or social status, being attracted to someone's looks is a fairly necessary component of a healthy relationship, so you shouldn't feel bad about what happened - it's not your fault you can't have a relationship with him.
    • Study Helper
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by upperechelon)
    so if someone you knew really well and liked spending time with asked you out, and you said no, because you are not physically attracted to them, you aren't shallow right? isn't that the defining difference between a friend and a potential lover? it doesn't make you a bad person does it?
    All I know is it hurts like hell to get rejected on looks alone. I guess it's slightly shallow because I'd say it's the romantic attraction that makes the difference. If I fancy the pants off someone it's usually what's inside, not the appearance

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • Study Helper
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by upperechelon)
    Not really to be honest. I go running every other day and I do like to watch what I eat, but I don't only want a 'guy that lifts.' Just someone who exercises with some element of fitness and isn't sitting in a computer chair all day
    So basically you don't someone who'll end up working in an office with computers?

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Attraction is practically the key to a relationship! But personalities can also be attractive!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Andy98)
    So basically you don't someone who'll end up working in an office with computers?

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    You can work in an office and still find time to take care of your health. I meant as in sitting playing games all day and not doing exercise
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by upperechelon)
    You can work in an office and still find time to take care of your health. I meant as in sitting playing games all day and not doing exercise
    I roll from my pc desk to my weight bench and back again.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Atlas Thugged)
    That's retarded, you could easily say the same to guys who refuse to get with chubby girls.
    Tbh i disagree with your analogy. If they're chubby/fat then they can do something about it. The fact that they don't shows that they're either lazy or they don't care enough. And I'm not attracted to that.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So help him...? Go gym together. Nothing gets you more stimulated than exercising. Actually you know what? Just reject him lol.He deserves better. No one is perfect.
    Why would i have to waste my time fixing someone else when i can find someone else who isn't over weight and also has a good personality?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by miser)
    It's not nice to be rejected for the way you look, but it's unavoidable that not everyone will find your looks attractive. Unlike wealth or social status, being attracted to someone's looks is a fairly necessary component of a healthy relationship, so you shouldn't feel bad about what happened - it's not your fault you can't have a relationship with him.
    The man from Japan. :ninja:
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Your comment is retarded. I have been with chubby girls, girls with acne etc. I love someones spirit and personality which leads me to being physically and sexually attracted to them.. (obviously not at first sight, but it grew). If you don't give them a chance based on how they look or how they dress..then that is shallow. Same as if you reject someone based on their race or economic background. Just saying man.
    Wtf, that's your business. If you wanna date fat chicks with acne that's down to you :rolleyes:

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by Jazzy97)
    Wtf, that's your business. If you wanna date fat chicks with acne that's down to you :rolleyes:

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I responded to his ignorant comment where he plays out like as if all guys are shallow as well like OP. Why comment lol? Added no value what so ever into the discussion.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 30, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brussels sprouts
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.