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Not everyone going to uni has a supportive family watch

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    Wow I'm so sorry for you guys... I know that my mum would at least help me financially. My parents haven't been that great either though; they've only ever been happy with my plans ONCE when I thought about applying to study medicine in my home city in Finland. When I realized I wanted to study medicine in the UK and Oxford in particular they haven't been anything but critical, but this isn't anything compared with the months of screaming and insults when I thought about studying humanities so apparently one specific course at one specific university is the only thing that's good enough for them. (oh that's actually not true, my mum once tried to persuade me to become a FARMER and I'm not kidding here - arbitrary much?)
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    (Original post by Cazcardiff)
    I'm now 40, and even now, without kids, finances wanted my parents financial details! 😳😳. Thankfully, with 3 kids, I'm sorted 😂.
    Erm... what? Why would they ask for your parent's financial details? You're an independent student at 40.
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    (Original post by mercuryman)
    Damn you're extra lucky for being Scottish you can literally do as many degrees as you want; all for free!

    What did your mum want you to do? Lemme guess: it's starts with an M and ends with an E? 🎣
    No they can't First SAAS ( the Scottish funding agency) will only fund one degree and only if you haven't got one (so if you self funded a degree and never got any funding from SAAS you still can't apply for funding for another degree)Second- While I really appreciate how lucky Scottish students are not to have to pay fees ( for their first degree) most students have to take a loan for maintenance
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    (Original post by sameehaiqbal)
    Lucky I live in Scotland so I don't have to pay for anything financially towards university tuitions, however, my mum doesnt like the degree course that I want to do at all as she wanted me to do a course that I didn't really see myself doing. It can be quite hard because I just want her to be happy but I don't think she wont be. However, I'm doing this degree for myself and nobody else, as much as I want my mum to be happy I have to think about my own happiness too. It sucks.
    When it comes to your uni and career choice, your parents opinions are completely irrelevant. They're not the ones who'll be living your life and one day they'll be too dead to care about your life choices. When considering my life choices, I have not considered my parents one iota because they simply do not matter in this regard.
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    My parents really want me to go to university in London so I can stay at home and commute. But I honestly don't and I've been told that if I leave, I'm completely on my own, which is fair enough as far as it goes because I know what they're like with me wanting to go to Bristol/Nottingham for uni. What irritates me the most is that they're willing to fund my brother just because he wants to do a Science degree at university and I want to do an Arts. I remember when we went on an open day to Bristol my mum said to me, "Why do you want to move away just for an Arts degree? It's completely worthless. I'd rather fund your brother because at least his degree is worth moving away for."

    They're completely insensitive about what I feel so I've decided that I'll rely on my student loans and work part time to keep going.
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    (Original post by Serine Soul)
    I do feel for people who can't get financial support. My parents are on low income so can't help even if they wanted to, but while the emotional support is there from my dad, it's absent from my mother. I overheard her the other day saying she prays I miss my firm university offer. This hurt so much, especially when that particular university is one I have been working really hard to get to in the past two years.
    That is actually so horrible. I thought Indian mothers would kill to have a daughter who has a uni offer from one of the toughest unis the world. :I I do hope you get in though.
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    My parents really want me to go to university in London so I can stay at home and commute. But I honestly don't and I've been told that if I leave, I'm completely on my own, which is fair enough as far as it goes because I know what they're like with me wanting to go to Bristol/Nottingham for uni. What irritates me the most is that they're willing to fund my brother just because he wants to do a Science degree at university and I want to do an Arts. I remember when we went on an open day to Bristol my mum said to me, "Why do you want to move away just for an Arts degree? It's completely worthless. I'd rather fund your brother because at least his degree is worth moving away for."

    They're completely insensitive about what I feel so I've decided that I'll rely on my student loans and work part time to keep going.
    Well, your parents are a waste of your time. It's not them going to live your life. You do you-the self supporting will make you much more capable for when you graduate
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    (Original post by super_kawaii)
    Well, your parents are a waste of your time. It's not them going to live your life. You do you-the self supporting will make you much more capable for when you graduate
    It's just that STEM supremacy kind of thing. My dad's accepted I want to do English/History at uni then do a Masters/phD or go into Animal rights law. My mum wants me to jump into Law straight away just so she can boast to everyone how there's a lawyer in her family. But yeah I don't get the blatant double standards with me moving out.
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    TSR Support Team
    It's alright to tell people to take a year out to earn money, but for some people the reality is that a gap year would be very difficult due to having to find the money to pay rent. The sort of jobs that I could have found (i.e. most likely retail) would have left me very little leeway for food and other expenses. I was better off going straight to university so that I could take out the maximum amount of loans. I still had a job while at uni, and next year I'm planning on having three. Since my course is so long I'll still be graduating with around £97k of debt :sigh: . Fun times.

    Anyway, I really feel for people whose parents aren't behind them You guys work so hard and are awesome. I always find it so awkward when people bring up family, especially in the context of 'going home' for Christmas/Easter/summer. Hahaha, no.
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    (Original post by 97Y)
    Just wanted to make a forum/post to people like me, who may be looking at forums and advice documents where it just assumes that your parents are 100% behind you.
    You're not alone in not having parents who won't give you a penny towards your studies/living and who didn't ask how any of your exams went.
    It can be difficult seeing "and you'll visit for Christmas" because I know that I won't and others may be in the same position too.

    Hey guys! Please make yourself known, because I am sure that I am not alone
    Mine just drag you down and down until you don't go to university... failed.
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    It's just that STEM supremacy kind of thing. My dad's accepted I want to do English/History at uni then do a Masters/phD or go into Animal rights law. My mum wants me to jump into Law straight away just so she can boast to everyone how there's a lawyer in her family. But yeah I don't get the blatant double standards with me moving out.
    Well they're snobs and snobs are the lowest of the low. There is far more respect in following your ambitions than blindly following the desires of someone who hasn't earned any respect themselves.
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    (Original post by super_kawaii)
    Well they're snobs and snobs are the lowest of the low. There is far more respect in following your ambitions than blindly following the desires of someone who hasn't earned any respect themselves.
    Come on now, you can't call somebody else's parents snobs, that's really disrespectful. The parents wanting you to do a good reputable degree will only act in your own good interests when you get a good job out of it.

    I'm not advising that you forcefully do the degree your parents want you to, but don't just end up doing a degree that won't get you anywhere or a decent paying Job after you graduate, times are getting rough.
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    (Original post by Acsel)
    Can't honestly say I'm in the same position as I'm sure if I needed money I'd have family to rely on.However I've motivated myself to get into a position where I'm entirely independent. I spent 4 years at college and took a gap year, so 5 years before starting Uni this September. I spent 4 of those working, range of part and full time hours. I saved all the money I need myself, to ensure I'd be entirely self sustaining. Rather than a lack of help from family, I refuse to rely on them.

    I feel like if you're in a position where you can't afford uni (e.g. getting lowest level loans, no financial support, etc.) then be practical. Take a year out and save money so that you aren't relying on what isn't there. That's my honest advice. If you won't be able to afford it and won't be getting support from anyone then wait a bit longer. At some point you'll have to become completely independent and stop relying on parents. It's not necessarily what a lot of 18 year olds want to hear and it certainly isn't the situation I'd want anyone to be in. But if you are in that situation you need to take responsibility for it. If you outright can't go to uni due to circumstances then do something about that. If that circumstance is that your parents won't support you then earn the money yourself.

    It seriously doesn't matter whether you go to uni now or take a year or 2 out to work. Do whatever suits your situation. It sucks but some people need the wake up call that it's their responsibility.

    This is entirely generic advice and not aimed at anyone specific.
    I agree with you so much! Unfortunately so many people nowadays have a negative mentality where they take everything for granted and allow themselves to be completely financially reliant. My parents have offered to give me money for my studies, but I know how hard they've worked for it themselves (we're a low-income family), and instead have funded myself on my own wages, SF & university bursaries. You feel a lot prouder when you know you work hard and earned that money yourself, and it's your money to spend as you please.
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    (Original post by mercuryman)
    Come on now, you can't call somebody else's parents snobs, that's really disrespectful. The parents wanting you to do a good reputable degree will only act in your own good interests when you get a good job out of it.

    I'm not advising that you forcefully do the degree your parents want you to, but don't just end up doing a degree that won't get you anywhere or a decent paying Job after you graduate, times are getting rough.
    But their beliefs that only STEM degrees and law are respectable is completely unfounded and therefore undeserving of respect.

    I studied languages at uni, a supposedly non reputable degree, yet I am in serious demand now I've graduated *
    *
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    (Original post by pmc:producer)
    You know nothing of my position or background. If the truth hurts, that's fine. But we all know wallowing in self-pity instead of adopting a 'get up and go' attitude is the cancer here. Like I said, get a part-time job, become independent - maybe then your parent's will love and support you more.
    Oh wow. Troll troll troll
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    (Original post by AQuestion1)
    If they are not supporting you, how are you coping with this, making sure you can still go to university and do well?
    I think this is where drive outstrips those people trying to hold you back. I don't know.. It's just hard sometimes doing everything alone, for yourself with no one to offer any sort of support when they're genetically programmed to
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    (Original post by Serine Soul)
    If I do get into my firm and earn a nice salary, I'm not giving her a single penny. She has given me zilch support throughout the whole process.

    My dad deserves everything I earn though
    Preach it! Same here. I think people forget that you won't forget the times when they weren't there for you. Like it's all okay in the end
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    (Original post by AlphaCenturion)
    I was under the impression that a lot of these "degrees" aren't worth the paper there written on. Whatever, keep funding those hedge funds with your poorly spent money and time at university. And say the actual word "university", it's not "uni".

    Wait.. What? You're angry that student grants have been stopped and you're taking your anger out on this forum? We could all be Cambridge students for all you know and that's your comment? Please. If you were in a position for a grant you wouldn't treat people who's parents won't finically support them like this
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    (Original post by phdparker)
    Anybody here know about becoming an independent student?

    I don't really want to see my parents as soon as I go to uni due to issues etc.

    Explain the situation to your tutor (you have to be honest, it's a bit crap telling them but you'd be surprised how many academics had crappy parents) and she'll write a letter to Student Finance confirming your status as 'estranged from parents'
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    (Original post by 97Y)
    Wait.. What? You're angry that student grants have been stopped and you're taking your anger out on this forum? We could all be Cambridge students for all you know and that's your comment? Please. If you were in a position for a grant you wouldn't treat people who's parents won't finically support them like this
    That's funny, because there are literally hundreds of universities poping up everywhere and anywhere. The institution that is the university has become a mass capitalised business and most of you are just fools, scammed out of a lot of money, money some of you will never see again. Unless you are doing a worthwhile degree, in a worthwhile "respected" university, don't bother and save your money.
 
 
 
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