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    Oh Gosh so many responses! I was busy today so didn't get to check but thank you all for replying trying to respond but it's so laggy!

    (Original post by trollface54)
    I am a muslim aged 16 and I love my religion. No where does it say in the Quran or hadiths that women and men can't laugh and enjoy themselves. But everything comes with its limits. Islam is not a religion that was made to constrict people but to guide them. Muslims think nowadays that the Quran is too strict but it's society that is changing. Haram is becoming more prevalent. You don't get that true brotherly and sisterly love between Muslims anymore. Let me speak to u like a brother. In the Quran it says that women should not wear clothing whereby if they were to stamp their feet their private parts would be visible. Both men and women should be humble and should not raise their voices lest it should attract attention. I'm not the type of person to attack others while being a hippocrite. God is the all seeing and all hearing.
    Be happy and extrovert, but never forget that wherever u r represent Islam
    In the best way possible not because others r watching u but because ur creator is aware of what u do.
    In qudsi 25 bukhari Allah says anyone who shows enmity towards those who r devoted to me is shall be at war with them. My servant draws near to me by doing the compulsory acts (praying and everthing else mentioned in the Quran and Hadith) and the non- obligatory acts. Then it is as if it is my eyes with which she/he hears with and ears with which they hear with.
    U can understand from this that if u r truly devoted to ur lord then It is wrong for others to curse u. Although constructive criticism is always important. Listen to ur parents because they love u and keep following what ur creator tells u.
    Keep ur head up high because the time is really near. There is a great reward waiting for us inshallah.
    Thank you for the response brother. I know but its looked down upon I guess for a woman to laugh out loud in public or infront of men.

    I don't intentionally do haraam things and have always dressed modestly al hamdu lilah but family and local people are saying its not enough because like you said I represent Islam in public so I have to wear long loose dresses and no makeup/ bright colours because apparently that brings attention to you. For me personally it was never for attention, only for me to feel more confident and happy with how I looked.

    And to me it seems that the hijab attracts more attention than it deflects because of the media so in my mind it defeats the purpose but I still have to wear it now.

    I loved Islam but my culture and the local Muslims that live in my area make it seem so oppressive towards women and there's nothing I can do without getting myself into trouble and creating a big problem if I dont follow orders.

    Insha Allah thank you brother.
    (Original post by HAnwar)
    Salam
    The hijab isn't just a cloth you drape over your head, hijab literally means 'barrier'.
    What you have to understand is that when you put a hijab on, you are or should be creating a barrier between you and the opposite gender (which is the whole reason for why it's worn in front of non mahrams only). This includes not displaying immoral behaviour (I'm not saying any of the things you are doing are immoral) as modesty isn't just about what you wear, but it includes your actions too.
    I'm not sure where the 'you shouldn't laugh in public' bit came from lol
    Maybe it meant laughing loudly and causing a disturbance or annoyance to others?
    As a hijabi I'm also quite friendly and talkative when it comes to talking to girls, but with guys (if there is a need to talk to them) I would not display the same kind of behaviour.
    The purpose of the hijab is not to attract attention but rather the opposite.
    I know where you're coming from as it has also been drilled in me how I should act in public as opposed to how I would at home, but Alhamdulilah it's for the best.
    Keep your bubbly happy persona, there is nothing in Islam which says you can't.
    May Allah bless you
    Thank you for responding That is true but like I said to the above person to me it seems that the hijab attracts more attention than it deflects because of the media so in my mind it defeats the purpose.

    But in my mind I thought I could defeat that by dressing more 'normally' as in loose pants and a nice top instead of a black abaya or playing around with hijab styles/ makeup/ colours but that was looked down upon and I was told I was showing Islam in a bad light and I needed to be covered properly or no good man would want me.

    So I've been trying really hard but it seems so unfair that my brother who is 2 years younger can work over the summer and I get told that a woman cant work in department stores or that he can wear what he wants and stay out until 10pm but I have to wear a dull long clothes and have to be home by 4pm and text my parents where I am at all times. I know they care for me and its for the best but it seems so unfair and it seems extreme. I'm not saying I want to go out naked and stay out until 1am but it still seems unfair that people care so much about what I do and wear and don't care at all what my brother does. I dont know.

    Thank you

    (Original post by ExMooseLDN)
    Hey, I was once in doubting my faith and now i'm an Ex Muslim, if you have any questions or need any support, feel free to message me.
    I'm not considering leaving Islam but thank you.
    (Original post by Ribbit1234)
    You don't have to lose your personality just to become a better muslim. I know loads of bubbly outgoing hijabis and niqabis. My advice to not lose faith is to try and read ur salaat, and go to Islamic lectures/taleems at least once a week just to help remind u about Islam and keep u on the straight path
    I try to listen to one lecture a day and pray on time and it does help thank you, but when I think about this it does still upset me.
    (Original post by Ribbit1234)
    Please don't listen to this, go to the Islamic society. Loads of good practising Muslims on there who can help u
    Okay I'll make sure to check it out thank you
    (Original post by Final Fantasy)
    [/b]How old are you and who's judging you? Who's telling you these things?Also, not quite relevant but what do you mean by 'bubbly'?There are so many other reasons for losing your faith in your religion - especially after a bit of research. It doesn't look like you have a valid one except perhaps feeling depressed due to persuasive and some questionable (coercive?) behaviour resulting in the inability to express who you are, your freedom and individuality etc.The whole 'this world is temporary and you can do whatever you want in heaven' is just a lame tactic to make you fall in line and be controlled in the real world. Powerful, yes, but lame and usually done through fear and scaremongering (as you've begun to discover yourself in fact).Why are you not allowed to just be yourself right now instead of being depressed? Is being yourself harming anyone else or just making them envious that you're not a puppet like them? If it's not harming anyone, why must you be forced to damage your own mental health for the satisfaction of others?Did you know that a recent change in law makes coercive and controlling behaviour in the family now illegal in the UK?Btw, a lot of the hijabis look like hypocrites anyway with their self-righteous behaviour whilst caked in layers of makeup and skin tight clothes. :rolleyes:Anyway, plenty of ex-Muslims around if you need further help, advice and support. The general discussion thread is here: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=4236658EDIT: Alternatively, just surround yourself with more positive, tolerant and less extreme Muslims who aren't bitter. You're not allowed to be forced into wearing the hijab anyway (plus it has a larger meaning, not just the scarf) - that won't count, it needs to be your own decision from peace of mind. About the law thing, I don't advocate using that against your family - really don't - I would never use it and skeptical due to its abuse potential, but it's there if things get out of control. If you're not decided yet then don't wear it. Cut off the people who are judging you and telling you silly things.
    I turned 18 this year and it started off with family from abroad I hadnt seen in 5 years and slowly turned into my parents saying this as well. I guess they were ashamed that someone else was telling them how to raise their children and want to do it properly? Thats what I think atleast. Bubbly as in cheerful and happy and talkative and the type of personality people tend to gravitate towards, including guys so it's seen as a bad thing.According to my family, it harms the family honour. Girls that behave inappropriately or dress weirdly or act unislamically will ruin the reputation of the family and so ruin theirs and other girls from that family's chances of getting married because people fear her daughters will come out like her. And people will speak bad about her father. I personally couldnt give less of a crap about any of that but it seems to mean a lot to my parents :/And yh exactly I dont want to represent Islam if I'm going to look like a hypocrite but it seems I dont really have a choice anymore. I cant really cut off my family, it scares me because they're gonna find me and hurt me and I love them too for all theyve done for me.Thank you
    (Original post by Allie4)
    No wonder you are losing faith! Muslims can't laugh now? or is it just Muslim girls who aren't allowed to laugh? most likely. just how controlling does your family want to be?
    Yh muslim girls. I dont know it scares me because people keep telling my parents to marry me off before I go to uni or I will go astray but my parents seem to be dismissing the idea right now.
    (Original post by Naveed-7)
    Dont be too religiously strict. Pray 5 times a day if you can, be the best you can be and enjoy your life.I used to listen to strict religious stuff from people and I lost my confidence, my anxiety grew and my career and life goals were ruined.
    I do try to pray 5 time a day. Thank you How so? Would you mind if I pmd you sometime to ask about that?
    (Original post by endgametheory)
    Yes, always take baby steps towards commitments in Islam. I myself have gradually made myself pray from 1-2 times a day to 5 times a day including additional rakats.
    Masha Allah hopefully one day I can pray additional rakat too
    (Original post by AperfectBalance)
    Disregard being a "good" Muslim and be a good person, hell does not exist and is only there to make you not want to do things that go against the religion. nor does heaven it is a con to make you want to be "good" so you get everything you ever dreamed of.Be yourself, dye your hair, dress up in short skirts or fancy clothes smile talk be friends with boys and girls, make good friends and be yourself. and most importantly be happyIf you Still doubt it imagine How selfish a God must be to want everyone to Pray to him 5 times a day and not do this and not do that. A very cruel god.Life without a religion is like life without shackles. except these shackles you put on yourself and only you can take them off
    I do try to be a good person but I do still believe in Islam. I just hate the version that is being taught to me right now. It's too extreme but I cant not follow it. Even if I stopped believing in Islam altogether there is no way I could do anything I want in this family. And that upsets me.
    (Original post by ByEeek)
    I am not a Muslim but did grow up around Keighley. My observations of the times was that most Muslim women wore beautiful bright and vibrant clothes with jewellery. And they loved a laugh.It sounds to me like you are being threatened with religion by human beings who just want to control you. Be free!Good luck!
    That sounds like a nice place thank you I'll try
    (Original post by Double Agent)
    Lots of aspects of religion aren't about being a good person or feeling confident about yourself, but about imposing a sense of guilt and fear in order to control your actions. I'd use this as a chance to start questioning whether this religion and the community around it want you to be happy, or if they want to control you, cause frankly it sounds like the latter.
    I do not like the community around me at all and it's influencing my parents too much and making them stricter out of fear of being talked bad about. I dont know how to get out of it though.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Leave the religion sister. It's making you miserable and stifling who you are. Islam sucks the life out of everything and forbids all things that are enjoyable and fun. It's a tragedy that you've changed yourself so that people don't judge you. Is that really the kind of life you want to lead, where you're depressed and unhappy with the only life you'll ever get for the sake of an imaginary god? why would God forbid you things on earth and make them halal in heaven, just think about that it doesn't make sense.I left Islam a while ago sister and it's the best decision I ever made, if you need to talk about it then I'm here for you xx
    I dont think I want to leave Islam but thank you i think that people are taking it way too extreme and the culture is influencing my parents too much but its presented in the name of Islam. I think Islam is more freeing than this but I cant practice the way I want to withoit constantly being told I'm wrong every day and people putting words in God's mouth which is a sin itself and trying to put me down because of their views. But i cant do anything about it without hurting my family.
    (Original post by 1010marina)
    By the sounds of it the Muslims in her life are corroding her personality and freedoms... You can't blame people for suggesting she moves away from a toxic environment.OP, live your life how you want to. Don't be held back by your religion, but don't be pushed away from it if you care about it. Read the Quran... Do passages such as 4.34 conform to your world views? What is it specifically about Islam that made you choose it over any other religion/atheism or were you pushed into it? Are you disturbed the possibility of the black abyss of death, or do you take comfort in thoughts of an afterlife?But firstly, get rid of these terrible people in your life. Don't ever let anybody use "being a good Muslim" as justification for being an A-hole.
    Thank you . I do not understand everything in the Quran and nobody fully does but I know there are many quotes from the prophet that stand up for women and i know women have important roles in Islam like "heaven lies at the feet of a mother" so things like that keep me in Islam. I also believe in God, but I was born into Islam. I used to take comfort in the afterlife until everyone started telling me I will go to Hell for this or that and so I am more scared of Hell than anything but I know I have to worship God because he gave me the provilege of life and experiencing the beauty of it and the blessing of living in a western country where I will never go hungry or thirty and not out of fear of Hell or to get to Heaven.i couldnt care less about the community or distant relatives but i do care a lot about my parents and leaving them will be hard and might hurt them as well
    (Original post by mkap)
    what kind of people do you hang around with? you need to hang out with different people imo who wont judge you.
    I dont hang around with them, my parents do and were influenced by them

    (Original post by Brahmin of Booty)
    Nothing in Islam tells you you have to be sad, so keep smiling girl
    Thank you

    (Original post by Trupac)
    Yh **** Islam!( and all religions for that matter) and just leave it. Religion holds you back and makes you miserable unlike what the indoctrinated sheep on this thread are telling you. Do your own research with an open mind and don't talk to any of these religious preachers( Imams etc) as they will never have your best interests at heart.

    I left Islam a few years back and I've never been happier. Good luck!
    I do try to research and I find many positive things about Islam that I like and keep me in the religion. I just dont appreciate the culture or the muslim community judging me for how i choose to practice. But thank you

    (Original post by Halzy1234)
    Firstly, society is society.. No matter what you do or say they will judge you. If you don't wear scarf they'll judge you for not being a good Muslim and when you start wearing a scarf they'll start judging you for being too religious but that's just society... Whether you do something good or bad they'll still have something to say about you regardless. You should always ignore what people have to say about you; you should only care about what Allah thinks about you. And who even said Muslim women aren't allowed to laugh in public? That's a really foolish thing to bring forward because that's absolutely not true. Of course you can laugh and hang around with your friends; I know it's different when you're with a guy and people start judging you but they also need to understand that this is the 21st century. If you ever go somewhere to work you won't just find female colleagues and workers.. There'll also be male colleagues and you have to get along with them. Don't ever let people ruin you; that's the worst thing that could happen. Just make sure you pray and read Qur'an.. Continue to be the happy bubbly person you are. And as for make up I'm sure you wear it for yourself to look beautiful so don't let others opinions get to you. People are like that, they'll always put their nose into someone else's business. Ignore the people saying all this unnecessary things; nobody has the right to judge except Allah SWT and indeed Allah is the best of judges. These people need to look at themselves before they try to judge anyone else and even if they think they're perfect they still aren't allowed to judge someone else because that's not their job and Allah hasn't sent them on this earth to judge other people just because they dress differently, look different, talk to different people etc. Don't ever worry about foolish people because they seriously have no life if they have time to actually point out the 'faults' they see in you; they should rather be using that time to make themselves better people but no instead they think it's okay to go judge a Muslim girl to the point where she's starting to lose her imaan. Don't lose your imaan and faith in Allah just because his creations think it's okay to start judging you. Always remember that Allahs opinions matters; not his creations opinions. Obviously no matter what these people won't keep their mouths shut because they're just like that. You'll just have to get use to ignoring them because negative people will always be around. Like in the time of Prophet Muhammad PBUH there were many people who judged him and hated him but today he is the most important human us Muslims and to the Muslim ummah. Our prophet had to go through struggles to get Islam this far today; it wasn't easy for him. He got a lot of hate and verbal abuse from people but yet he still kept going because his faith and trust in Allah SWT was always 100%. Don't lost your faith in Allah; rather put your trust in Allah and Allah will make everything easier for you. Always remember that we are the creations of Allah SWT and only Allah alone has the right to judge us; his creations don't have that right. Be the person you are, be that happy bubbly girl who laughs and wears make up and brightens up everything around her and loves to make new friends. Don't let the opinions of Allahs creation get to you. At the end of the day nobody is perfect my dear sister so don't lose yourself or your imaan. Be yourself; pray; read qur'an; spend the free time you have in the remembrance of Allah and trust me sister.. You will find yourself again. The happy bubbly person that you are. Don't lose faith sister.. Allah is with you I hope my words have helped you in some way; Jazakallahu Khair

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    That is very true I'll try to ignore the comments and distance myself from these people or avoid the topic when it comes up and keep Allah in my heart and my mind and try to live a life as normal as possible under these conditions.

    Thank you sister you helped a lot <3

    (Original post by philo-jitsu)
    Also OP whatever decision you decide don't let other people's negativity influence them, cut out the *****y people from your life and then re-evaluate, you cant allow negative people to shape your view of the world. I am against the very idea of a religion but if following it allows you to be a better person then by all means continue, but alternatively if it is holding you back then don't be afraid to abandon it, it is 2016 after all!!
    Thank you I will try. I do like my religion but i do not like the muslim community or the culture i was born into as it takes islam way too extreme and the people say these things are islamic but really they are cultural/ traditional. I cant cut my family off but i will try to distance myself/ avoid the topic when it comes up

    (Original post by Rabia.Nishat)
    Salam beautiful! I would absolutely love to talk to you in depth, maybe you coul pm me? I've been through that stage, so much so that I switched faiths... I became agnostic. I know what it's like to have all this jumbled up in your head, so don't worry hayati, we cam talk it through. Xxx
    Thank you maybe one day

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's sort of a clash of the ways of thinking in two parts of the world, some of it cultural and some of it religion.
    Like the older generations in my family who were born abroad and quite religious/traditional will be completely against say marrying someone not in the religion.
    i.e One of my cousins recently got engaged to a white girl and all the older people talk so badly about them and avoid the two of them like the plague...

    Not much you can do about it unfortunately, but still be respectful to your parents/family. They most likely want the best for you.
    If what my Mum says is anything to go by (she grew up in quite a traditional household), they're probably thinking that acting like that will make you better potential wife material. i.e You'll have an easier time getting married in future.
    It's your familiy's way of trying to look out for you I guess.

    Reminds me of my Aunt who was a bit of a geek growing up.
    She was super smart and did really well in her A Levels, but got told she couldnt go to Uni because it wasn't the done thing (this might've been religion or cultural tradition - though probably some mix of the two, i don't know).
    She put her ambitions on hold and eventually got married to my uncle. Luckily my uncle, being the awesome guy he is (not even joking, funniest guy ever ), said to her that she can go and study if she wants, so she went to Uni as a mature student, got a Computer Science degree and now works as a Programmer.
    But i dont want to be married to someone who will control me. I want to be my own boss you know? I do try to be repectful and kind to my parents but i do not like these extremist cultural views. Thank you.

    (Original post by Chakede)
    worry less about how long your sleeves are and how much you can or cannot laugh or how bright are your clothes (
    most people im shocked to have to tell you, dont have to worry about those petty matters ) - just do well at school, get an education, a career, a family , a loyal friends circle , be a decent person etc. these are the important things in life, not what a few nutters may dictate to you to appease some dictats
    I am trying to be a good person and wasnt really thinking about any of this except when getting dressed in the morning but now it seems like all aspects of my life are being judged and i have to be perfect in all of them and only now is it worrying me and exhausting. But thank you
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please keep anonymous.

    I am a muslim girl and I am losing faith, I am very expressive in my appearance. I like to wear funky colourful clothes, put on dramatic make up, colour my hair, it makes me feel confident. I also have a bubbly personality and am very 'out there' and share pictures online and like to meet new people and talk to people, make them laugh and form special bonds.

    However I get judged for this. I get told I will go to Hell for not wearing Hijab so I started wearing it. It limited my creativity but I still found ways to dress it up, my makeup was still bright and I was still confident. Now I am being told that a good Muslim woman should not laugh in public, or wear bright coloured clothes, or makeup, or talk too much or talk to men and if I am seen doing any of those things I get judged and talked bad about.

    So all of this was taken from me. I can't express myself now and my confidence dropped a lot. I have low self esteem, I'm depressed and I hate going out now. It's making me lose my faith. I know this world is temporary and in Heaven Insha Allah I'll be able to do as I please but it's so hard to cope with because now I've lost who I was.

    Any guidance or advice please?
    Well, you could always convert to other religions, say Christianity (liberal Christianity) or Sikhism as they may well be more accepting of you and your behaviour (I know Christianity certainly is and I went to school with a Sikh and he was verrrrry expressive).

    I mean, society today is becoming very secular so it's worth thinking about packing it in all together ONLY if you feel comfortable with that. I'm not trying to talk you out of it - you can do whatever you like - but I don't want people on this forum slating my comments saying "this is why you shouldn't post it on here".

    I've got a lot of religious knowledge and experience so PM and I can attempt to guide you on the right lines


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    Good. Leave the religion! Religion (whether that's Christianity, Hinduism or Islam) is an outdated idea anyway. It was invented by men to control women

    Liberate yourself by becoming a secular atheist.. You'll be truly free then

    Just don't go to Saudi Arabia as they'll kill you for it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)

    Thank you for responding That is true but like I said to the above person to me it seems that the hijab attracts more attention than it deflects because of the media so in my mind it defeats the purpose.

    But in my mind I thought I could defeat that by dressing more 'normally' as in loose pants and a nice top instead of a black abaya or playing around with hijab styles/ makeup/ colours but that was looked down upon and I was told I was showing Islam in a bad light and I needed to be covered properly or no good man would want me.

    So I've been trying really hard but it seems so unfair that my brother who is 2 years younger can work over the summer and I get told that a woman cant work in department stores or that he can wear what he wants and stay out until 10pm but I have to wear a dull long clothes and have to be home by 4pm and text my parents where I am at all times. I know they care for me and its for the best but it seems so unfair and it seems extreme. I'm not saying I want to go out naked and stay out until 1am but it still seems unfair that people care so much about what I do and wear and don't care at all what my brother does. I dont know.

    Thank you
    Media will always have something negative to talk about Muslims.
    As long as your intention to wear the hijab is correct, you will be rewarded for it.

    Black abaya is recommended for its simplicity, however there's no set colour scheme for what you should wear. As long as it's modest it should be fine.

    Yeah I used to find that stuff sexist at first, but now it doesn't bother me and I understand why there's that difference.

    No worries

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    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Double Agent)
    Your example of progressive Islam is that the new generation of men will give their permission for a woman to get educated? Can't you see how messed up that is.
    (Original post by Plantagenet Crown)
    Lol, a husband "letting" his wife pursue her dream isn't awesome, it's called being a decent human being who values equality.
    I think you both have the wrong idea lol.
    In a sense, you could say she was free after she got married because my Uncle isn't traditionally minded. He grew up in the UK and isn't all that religious either.
    My Uncle and Aunt pretty seem equal to me from what I've seen. If she wanted to study and he said no (not that he would, they're literally like best friends and get on really well - they'd probably talk it out more than that), she'd probably go anyway lol, unless there was some financial reason for not being able to go.

    What I was trying to say is that it takes a few of generations for the tradition from abroad to "fade away". In my experience, this also leads to the loss of religion in younger generations (well, religion is on the decline anyway in the west).
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Oh Gosh so many responses! I was busy today so didn't get to check but thank you all for replying trying to respond but it's so laggy!



    Thank you for the response brother. I know but its looked down upon I guess for a woman to laugh out loud in public or infront of men.

    I don't intentionally do haraam things and have always dressed modestly al hamdu lilah but family and local people are saying its not enough because like you said I represent Islam in public so I have to wear long loose dresses and no makeup/ bright colours because apparently that brings attention to you. For me personally it was never for attention, only for me to feel more confident and happy with how I looked.

    And to me it seems that the hijab attracts more attention than it deflects because of the media so in my mind it defeats the purpose but I still have to wear it now.

    I loved Islam but my culture and the local Muslims that live in my area make it seem so oppressive towards women and there's nothing I can do without getting myself into trouble and creating a big problem if I dont follow orders.

    Insha Allah thank you brother.


    Thank you for responding That is true but like I said to the above person to me it seems that the hijab attracts more attention than it deflects because of the media so in my mind it defeats the purpose.

    But in my mind I thought I could defeat that by dressing more 'normally' as in loose pants and a nice top instead of a black abaya or playing around with hijab styles/ makeup/ colours but that was looked down upon and I was told I was showing Islam in a bad light and I needed to be covered properly or no good man would want me.

    So I've been trying really hard but it seems so unfair that my brother who is 2 years younger can work over the summer and I get told that a woman cant work in department stores or that he can wear what he wants and stay out until 10pm but I have to wear a dull long clothes and have to be home by 4pm and text my parents where I am at all times. I know they care for me and its for the best but it seems so unfair and it seems extreme. I'm not saying I want to go out naked and stay out until 1am but it still seems unfair that people care so much about what I do and wear and don't care at all what my brother does. I dont know.

    Thank you



    I'm not considering leaving Islam but thank you.
    I try to listen to one lecture a day and pray on time and it does help thank you, but when I think about this it does still upset me. Okay I'll make sure to check it out thank you I turned 18 this year and it started off with family from abroad I hadnt seen in 5 years and slowly turned into my parents saying this as well. I guess they were ashamed that someone else was telling them how to raise their children and want to do it properly? Thats what I think atleast. Bubbly as in cheerful and happy and talkative and the type of personality people tend to gravitate towards, including guys so it's seen as a bad thing.According to my family, it harms the family honour. Girls that behave inappropriately or dress weirdly or act unislamically will ruin the reputation of the family and so ruin theirs and other girls from that family's chances of getting married because people fear her daughters will come out like her. And people will speak bad about her father. I personally couldnt give less of a crap about any of that but it seems to mean a lot to my parents :/And yh exactly I dont want to represent Islam if I'm going to look like a hypocrite but it seems I dont really have a choice anymore. I cant really cut off my family, it scares me because they're gonna find me and hurt me and I love them too for all theyve done for me.Thank you Yh muslim girls. I dont know it scares me because people keep telling my parents to marry me off before I go to uni or I will go astray but my parents seem to be dismissing the idea right now.I do try to pray 5 time a day. Thank you How so? Would you mind if I pmd you sometime to ask about that?Masha Allah hopefully one day I can pray additional rakat too I do try to be a good person but I do still believe in Islam. I just hate the version that is being taught to me right now. It's too extreme but I cant not follow it. Even if I stopped believing in Islam altogether there is no way I could do anything I want in this family. And that upsets me.That sounds like a nice place thank you I'll tryI do not like the community around me at all and it's influencing my parents too much and making them stricter out of fear of being talked bad about. I dont know how to get out of it though.I dont think I want to leave Islam but thank you i think that people are taking it way too extreme and the culture is influencing my parents too much but its presented in the name of Islam. I think Islam is more freeing than this but I cant practice the way I want to withoit constantly being told I'm wrong every day and people putting words in God's mouth which is a sin itself and trying to put me down because of their views. But i cant do anything about it without hurting my family.Thank you . I do not understand everything in the Quran and nobody fully does but I know there are many quotes from the prophet that stand up for women and i know women have important roles in Islam like "heaven lies at the feet of a mother" so things like that keep me in Islam. I also believe in God, but I was born into Islam. I used to take comfort in the afterlife until everyone started telling me I will go to Hell for this or that and so I am more scared of Hell than anything but I know I have to worship God because he gave me the provilege of life and experiencing the beauty of it and the blessing of living in a western country where I will never go hungry or thirty and not out of fear of Hell or to get to Heaven.i couldnt care less about the community or distant relatives but i do care a lot about my parents and leaving them will be hard and might hurt them as well I dont hang around with them, my parents do and were influenced by them



    Thank you



    I do try to research and I find many positive things about Islam that I like and keep me in the religion. I just dont appreciate the culture or the muslim community judging me for how i choose to practice. But thank you



    That is very true I'll try to ignore the comments and distance myself from these people or avoid the topic when it comes up and keep Allah in my heart and my mind and try to live a life as normal as possible under these conditions.

    Thank you sister you helped a lot <3



    Thank you I will try. I do like my religion but i do not like the muslim community or the culture i was born into as it takes islam way too extreme and the people say these things are islamic but really they are cultural/ traditional. I cant cut my family off but i will try to distance myself/ avoid the topic when it comes up



    Thank you maybe one day



    But i dont want to be married to someone who will control me. I want to be my own boss you know? I do try to be repectful and kind to my parents but i do not like these extremist cultural views. Thank you.



    I am trying to be a good person and wasnt really thinking about any of this except when getting dressed in the morning but now it seems like all aspects of my life are being judged and i have to be perfect in all of them and only now is it worrying me and exhausting. But thank you
    Hi, regarding verse 4:34 I found an excellent website which explores this verse:

    http://islamsearch.blogspot.co.uk/2007/01/tafseer-surah-434-does-islam-really.html?m=1

    It's a long read but it's worth it.
 
 
 
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