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    • #5
    #5

    No my teacher won't be of much use except for perhaps actually physically pushing me to get help lol

    I'd like to go to the GP, you don't know how much I want to, but its easier said than done I'm so weak, I know, and I hate it.

    When I get low its hard to think that the world isn't better off without me, I get bullied despite the fact I try to be nice to everyone (maybe thats the problem), my parents hate me because I couldn't live up to their aspirations, I'm not living up to the academic expectations my school has of me. When I am of sound mind, which I sort of am now, I am aware that my death probably would cause pain and thats when I realise I need help rather than a quick exit, but I can't speak to any of my family, they don't believe in suicide/mental illnesses

    Thanks for listening btw
    • #7
    #7

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No my teacher won't be of much use except for perhaps actually physically pushing me to get help lol

    I'd like to go to the GP, you don't know how much I want to, but its easier said than done I'm so weak, I know, and I hate it.

    When I get low its hard to think that the world isn't better off without me, I get bullied despite the fact I try to be nice to everyone (maybe thats the problem), my parents hate me because I couldn't live up to their aspirations, I'm not living up to the academic expectations my school has of me. When I am of sound mind, which I sort of am now, I am aware that my death probably would cause pain and thats when I realise I need help rather than a quick exit, but I can't speak to any of my family, they don't believe in suicide/mental illnesses

    Thanks for listening btw
    I understand. I think you just have to really push yourself though. You have to ring up and make an appointment and go. You are strong enough to do that. If you're strong enough to hold on, you're strong enough to go to your GP.

    Forget your family to be honest. If you can't talk to them, you just can't. You need to live, your death would hurt people around you. You can't rely on someone being there to make you get better. If there was someone like that in your life to start with, you probably wouldnt be this depressed. Its a spiral I suppose. But you are strong enough to break it. And it has to be broken or you'll just have more suicidal episodes, and eventually if you dont seek help, you'll kill yourself. I dont want that and deep down neither do you. Please try and get help. And I'll try too. Maybe one day we'll actually be happy. Knowing that I'm going to get help is actually much less scary than I thought it would be. Its slightly exciting that maybe it'll get sorted out. Maybe I wont just be varying degrees of unhappy until i eventually end it.

    I think for the first time I know I deserve help and I dont feel that ashamed. And you shouldnt feel ashamed either. Any suicidal person deserves help, there is help available, but you have to get up and get it. And GPs have heard it and seen it all loads and loads of times before. I know its hard, but its also really hard when you feel so bad you want to die.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sorry this post makes no sense, I'm just sooo confused.
    Sorry about this post, I must sound like an attention seeking brat, and I understand if you don't want to help me, though I hate myself more than anyone else hates me, I think...If you can help, or just talk, thanks x
    Your post makes perfect sense, well to me at least. I've felt like that for so long. You need to realise that the times when you feel up are what you're living for, rather than wanting to commit suicide because of the lows. Of course I realise its a lot easier saying that than actually doing that but it has helped me a little. Every time I get low, I just try and remember the good times and then it doesn't seem quite so bad.
    • #5
    #5

    I don't really know where to get help, I can only think of the one GP who I went to first time round, she did say if things get bad I can speak to her, but I don't want her to send me away again

    I sometimes wonder whether life would be better if I was by myself, you know without "friends", without family, if i could just lock myself away and work, and be successful in my own mind. I don't know.
    • #8
    #8

    This is one of the best threads i have seen, i honestly commend you for your attempt to 'explain' depression..i suffered from severe depression a few months back and only managed to get out of it when i ended up in hospital..it really was a wake up call..I swear the only way i managed to survive that long was because i was at work and forced myself to get up every morning...


    To all of you who feel that way now, there is an end to it all, you need to cling to that flicker of a tiny light at the end of the tunnel..and it is there deep inside you...because each day that you manage to survive the light gets closer..and one day you won't need to survive you'll live again..I Promise

    I made it on my own, you are the most wonderful person in your life and there is noone who can love you or help you more than you do, just by being alive.
 
 
 
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