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    (Original post by daniellee0)
    They are all shared facilities
    so you think her parents will be sleeping in the shared kitchen/living room(s)?

    LOL okay that is weird I grant you.
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    (Original post by lucabrasi98)
    x
    Just noticed that your username ends in 98. If that was the year you were born I'm not surprised that you're spouting such childish rubbish. It's two extra people in a communal flat, it won't make any difference at all.

    (Original post by daniellee0)
    I highly doubt they will be in their room 24/7 I presume at least one if not both of with will be sleeping on the sofas which are in the living room / kitchen area. I didn't sign up to have 2 strangers sleeping on them for a week. It's just awkward, especially if any of us wanna use the kitchen during the night or watch tv gunna feel like we can't as we won't want to disturb them.

    She said there staying a week but how do we know it won't turn into longer than a week??
    Just tell them that as long as they sleep in their bedroom it's fine, but don't allow them to sleep in the communal spaces. People visit me and my flatmates all the time and not once have guests not slept in a bedroom. No idea why this would be any different.

    And why would it be longer than a week? They're hardly going to just hang around forever...
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    I'm on two sides here firstly I assume the daughter is from abroad along with her parents hence everything will be new so to you 1 week may seem like a lot but with everything being complete different to them it may seem not enough. Don't forget since they are abroad physically it's very difficult to see her parents again. No matter how much ppl say it's about independence yes it is, but at the same times it doesn't mean not seeing relatives for a year which for the daughter may be likely. However since its shared this is the bigger problem and most likely should have stayed in a hotel for that week or have s private flat so they could stay without disturbing others because her parents may visit Christmas etc or the daughter may visit if it's the first option again more problems will arise. Only sensible option would be to ask others in your flat how they feel and speak to the daughter privately and explain how you find it uncomfortable if you're coming home late waking up late with Parents next door. I guess is a huge bummer.
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    (Original post by CAPTAINSHAZAM)
    I'm on two sides here firstly I assume the daughter is from abroad along with her parents hence everything will be new so to you 1 week may seem like a lot but with everything being complete different to them it may seem not enough. Don't forget since they are abroad physically it's very difficult to see her parents again. No matter how much ppl say it's about independence yes it is, but at the same times it doesn't mean not seeing relatives for a year which for the daughter may be likely. However since its shared this is the bigger problem and most likely should have stayed in a hotel for that week or have s private flat so they could stay without disturbing others because her parents may visit Christmas etc or the daughter may visit if it's the first option again more problems will arise. Only sensible option would be to ask others in your flat how they feel and speak to the daughter privately and explain how you find it uncomfortable if you're coming home late waking up late with Parents next door. I guess is a huge bummer.
    No I agree if I was moving far away I would want my parents to come too for support but I wouldn't dream of letting them stay in my accommodation. I don't understand why her parents have to stay in our flat, plenty of hotels close by so they can be with her. But also we are her flat mates and are here to help her and welcome her too. I think it's going to be difficult for her to mix and socialise if she is constantly with her parents
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    (Original post by Conzy210)
    OP won't be spending any time with their flatmates' parents. The flatmate is a bit odd yes, but it doesn't affect OP in anyway unless they're scared to upset some 'adults'.

    Imagine encouraging someone to ***** and moan about a non-issue. Hilarious.
    Hardly a nonsense issue I've had distant relatives stay for a week and it's extremely awkward it's hard to be yourself because in ops case who knows if this is a one time thing what happens when Christmas etc comes and decide to stay again. It leaves bad impressions that parents may think all her flat mates are going out all the time etc. You say they'll be in ops room yet for 3 ppl most uni rooms aren't big enough to house 3 ppl living in one space so they will cross paths and the last thing you want is coming home late etc and having to see parents in which you don't know and knowing they're much more mature and may make you feel uncomtable that week constantly going out and coming back late.
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    (Original post by CAPTAINSHAZAM)
    Hardly a nonsense issue I've had distant relatives stay for a week and it's extremely awkward it's hard to be yourself because in ops case who knows if this is a one time thing what happens when Christmas etc comes and decide to stay again. It leaves bad impressions that parents may think all her flat mates are going out all the time etc. You say they'll be in ops room yet for 3 ppl most uni rooms aren't big enough to house 3 ppl living in one space so they will cross paths and the last thing you want is coming home late etc and having to see parents in which you don't know and knowing they're much more mature and may make you feel uncomtable that week constantly going out and coming back late.
    It's an issue for the person who has their parents staying over, it'll ruin her freshers' week.

    But I do really struggle to see why OP should be concerned by seeing 'much more mature' people, potentially, after a night out. I also struggle to see how being in the kitchen etc. with them would be an issue. When people visit from my experiences they've spent 90% of their time in their host's room. OP is also 18 at least, they aren't a kid anymore... At most I imagine they'll make food in the kitchen, before eating it in the flatmates' room whilst OP has pre-drinks.

    OP shouldn't give a **** about someone else's parents being present. It was their choice to stay during a week where you go out every night and get hammered, before coming back at 4 in the morning. If the parents get annoyed that's their own fault.
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    (Original post by Conzy210)
    It's an issue for the person who has their parents staying over, it'll ruin her freshers' week.

    But I do really struggle to see why OP should be concerned by seeing 'much more mature' people, potentially, after a night out. I also struggle to see how being in the kitchen etc. with them would be an issue. When people visit from my experiences they've spent 90% of their time in their host's room. OP is also 18 at least, they aren't a kid anymore... At most I imagine they'll make food in the kitchen, before eating it in the flatmates' room whilst OP has pre-drinks.

    OP shouldn't give a **** about someone else's parents being present. It was their choice to stay during a week where you go out every night and get hammered, before coming back at 4 in the morning. If the parents get annoyed that's their own fault.
    Because it's awkward and uncomtable lmao when do you see parents getting hammered for one week.... Do you think if roles were reversed and 18 year old stayed and saw parents getting hammered the parents wouldn't feel awkward? No one wants to see someone else of a big difference when doing stuff "embarrassing" so mature thing is a big factor and who's to say the daughters parents are open about freshers and maybe they feel against it preventing the daughter from bonding with flat mates.
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    (Original post by CAPTAINSHAZAM)
    Because it's awkward and uncomtable lmao when do you see parents getting hammered for one week.... Do you think if roles were reversed and 18 year old stayed and saw parents getting hammered the parents wouldn't feel awkward? No one wants to see someone else of a big difference when doing stuff "embarrassing" so mature thing is a big factor and who's to say the daughters parents are open about freshers and maybe they feel against it preventing the daughter from bonding with flat mates.
    If you feel awkward doing what the majority of freshers' across the country are doing because someone's parents are in a room, away from it all, that is your issue in my opinion. When you go to uni you should be sufficiently mature to be able to handle irrelevant strangers disagreeing with your conduct when it doesn't matter.

    A night out consists of:

    Pres --> Taxi/bus to club --> Being in the club --> Home time

    The flatmate's parents won't be there for any of that so please tell me how two individuals being locked away in a room somewhere else is going to reduce OP's fun.
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    Well, it's obvious that the new flatmate hasn't consulted the others about her parents parking themselves for the week, so what's to stop her assuming that a week can be longer than a week? They must have had ample opportunity to know that their daughter was going there, so they should have saved a bit and done a B&B.
    What if they decide to come for a visit again? It's a non-starter and a bloody cheek.
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    (Original post by daniellee0)
    No I agree if I was moving far away I would want my parents to come too for support but I wouldn't dream of letting them stay in my accommodation. I don't understand why her parents have to stay in our flat, plenty of hotels close by so they can be with her. But also we are her flat mates and are here to help her and welcome her too. I think it's going to be difficult for her to mix and socialise if she is constantly with her parents
    After reading all of the posts which is something I don't usually do I think this shouldn't be tolerated. I think one of you should go and speak to her. Say you understand you are coming from a different country and you want your parents to be with you but freshers week in our accommodation isn't acceptable. We will be here to support you but we are finding it hard to allow this sort of this thing.We want to be going out watching out TV and do not want to be judged. Just speak to her. Most likely if she is a international student her parents will be loaded.
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    (Original post by daniellee0)
    Well first of all they will be living there and using our facilities for a week FREE when we all are paying rent. Is during freshers week so I don't wanna come home drunk and have them sat there. But also the girl may not socialise / Interact with us if her parents are there. We don't feel comfortable them being there and especially when we are out I mean they could go through our stuff or anything
    To be honest I think you're overblowing this. It's a weird thing for your flatmate to do, she should have asked you and she should have told them to get a hotel - but it's not as terrible as you're making it sound. They're not going to be sat there watching you in the living room all the time. You don't pay bills separately in first year so if they use electricity/shower it makes no difference to any of you, it's no worse than having a flatmate who takes long showers/has an elaborate gaming system set up. If she doesn't hang out with you that doesn't matter to you, it's only bad for her really. You can usually lock your individual rooms and tbh I sincerely doubt her parents will want to rummage around your underwear drawer or steal your lipstick. Your 'female only' flat will have plenty of guys staying over this year so I'd get it out of your head that a man will never enter the flat. It sounds like you're just clutching at reasons why it's bad and you should complain but really it's one week, do whatever you want to do anyway - it's their fault for staying in student halls if they're unhappy about it and in no time they'll be gone anyway.
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    OP - i honestly think ur being a bit too much. Like previous people have said, the flight tickets must've costed them a fair bit amount, and so it obviously makes sense to try to get free accommodation and what better than staying with a close family member? I understand what your so getting worked up about....u want to be free of being drunk, probably think they'll listen to you having sex in your room with some person you managed to pull from one of your nights out at the SU, awkward hellos in the hallway and kitchen. Your only choice is to accept that and just move on, the only time you have the right to complain really is if they do anything that will cause some form of actual hinderance without ur consent such as anything to do with the food in your fridge or cupboards etc. Again....if you really want to report them to your accommodation staff team....go ahead and do it, nobody is stopping you and yes you do have a valid reason, people that are not students at the uni are only allowed to usually stay for 2-3 days. Up to you
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    (Original post by daniellee0)
    One of my flat mates is coming from abroad and she said her parents are going to stay in her room for a week. Is this even allowed? None of us feel comfortable about this and we don't understand why they need to stay a week and why they can't just get a hotel.

    Is there anything we can do about this?
    The parents are probably the coolest people you will meet this year lol
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    Have a little bit of sympathy and look at it through her eyes.
    You're complaining because you don't want someone responsible to see you make a fool of yourself which really says a lot about your character.. Just buckle up, get over it. Seven days is nothing. I'm sure that you'll do things that'll piss her off. Like brining men back, sleeping around and being loud. Communal living is what you signed up for - now live it
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    (Original post by daniellee0)
    No I agree if I was moving far away I would want my parents to come too for support but I wouldn't dream of letting them stay in my accommodation. I don't understand why her parents have to stay in our flat, plenty of hotels close by so they can be with her. But also we are her flat mates and are here to help her and welcome her too. I think it's going to be difficult for her to mix and socialise if she is constantly with her parents
    I appreciate that this is a less than perfect start to term but it won't be the last time that you will have to deal with things like this so think of it as a useful learning experience!

    First of all - how do you know that her parents are coming to stay- since you are talking about this as a future event I assume that you have not moved in yet- indeed how do you even know who your flatmates are or what they think about the situation?

    When she told you(presumably by some sort of message) how did you respond ? If you didn't object at the time she may have assumed that you were ok with it .

    The best thing you can do is tell her your concerns in a polite and considered way. I think that their is a world of difference between them being in her room and being in the living room- the later option being impractical and I suspect unlikely.

    There may be very good reasons why they are coming, given that you don't know her or her parents it is impossible to try and second guess what resulted in this. She may be unhappy herself about the situation but felt she couldn't say no, or she may have wanted it.

    Talking to her, rather than a bunch of random strangers on a forum is much more likely to resolve the problem.

    If you get a better insight from her as to what it will exactly involve and explain your concerns you are more likely to resolve the situation in a way that doesn't cause friction for the next year.

    You can of course tell accommodation services and have them thrown out- but I am not sure that is going to need to harmonious living for the rest of the year. Have you told her that you are uncomfortable with the idea? Given what you have posted it seems you haven't really talked to her about it- As you have said you don't know where they will sleep etc .

    You say that you and your other flatmates are there to make her feel welcome- but not everyone bonds with flatmates straight away, and not everyone wants to spend freshers getting drunk and going out. In the end first year flatmates are a lottery and you will probably find yourself living with people who have very different idea of the world from you. You either have to learn to compromise and accept that or have a harder time than you need to.

    Talk to her-
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    I do see both sides, but I think people talking about the parents should have just saved up etc are being insensitive. Not everyones' parents have the money to stay in a hotel/B and B for a week, maybe they've had to save up a lot just to get the flights to come visit in the first place. My parents came to see me a few times while I was at uni (in the same country) and always kipped on my floor as we just did not have the money that it could be wasted on accommodation elsewhere.

    A week is a long time but it sounds like its a once off as they help move her in. Everyone knows what freshers are like so its unlikely to be a surprise to her parents when you come in worst for wear. The problem with 'grassing' her up is that it will make the rest of your flatmate experience very uncomfortable. If in reality when they are here it is causing a problem because of their behaviour then maybe you can speak to her again and a make a complaint.
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    (Original post by SeanFM)
    Hotels cost a fair amount of money.
    YHA ftw.
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    (Original post by watchingyouwatch)
    I appreciate that this is a less than perfect start to term but it won't be the last time that you will have to deal with things like this so think of it as a useful learning experience!

    First of all - how do you know that her parents are coming to stay- since you are talking about this as a future event I assume that you have not moved in yet- indeed how do you even know who your flatmates are or what they think about the situation?

    When she told you(presumably by some sort of message) how did you respond ? If you didn't object at the time she may have assumed that you were ok with it .

    The best thing you can do is tell her your concerns in a polite and considered way. I think that their is a world of difference between them being in her room and being in the living room- the later option being impractical and I suspect unlikely.

    There may be very good reasons why they are coming, given that you don't know her or her parents it is impossible to try and second guess what resulted in this. She may be unhappy herself about the situation but felt she couldn't say no, or she may have wanted it.

    Talking to her, rather than a bunch of random strangers on a forum is much more likely to resolve the problem.

    If you get a better insight from her as to what it will exactly involve and explain your concerns you are more likely to resolve the situation in a way that doesn't cause friction for the next year.

    You can of course tell accommodation services and have them thrown out- but I am not sure that is going to need to harmonious living for the rest of the year. Have you told her that you are uncomfortable with the idea? Given what you have posted it seems you haven't really talked to her about it- As you have said you don't know where they will sleep etc .

    You say that you and your other flatmates are there to make her feel welcome- but not everyone bonds with flatmates straight away, and not everyone wants to spend freshers getting drunk and going out. In the end first year flatmates are a lottery and you will probably find yourself living with people who have very different idea of the world from you. You either have to learn to compromise and accept that or have a harder time than you need to.

    Talk to her-
    We know they are coming to stay as she mentioned it the other day. I know my flatmates because their is a group on facebook to be able to find your flatmates. They have all expressed their concerns and none are happy with them staying a week. Would could understsnd 1/2 days as that's all we are allowed for guest to stay over so I don't see why she is being treat any different.
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    (Original post by TheRabbit)
    I do see both sides, but I think people talking about the parents should have just saved up etc are being insensitive. Not everyones' parents have the money to stay in a hotel/B and B for a week, maybe they've had to save up a lot just to get the flights to come visit in the first place. My parents came to see me a few times while I was at uni (in the same country) and always kipped on my floor as we just did not have the money that it could be wasted on accommodation elsewhere.

    A week is a long time but it sounds like its a once off as they help move her in. Everyone knows what freshers are like so its unlikely to be a surprise to her parents when you come in worst for wear. The problem with 'grassing' her up is that it will make the rest of your flatmate experience very uncomfortable. If in reality when they are here it is causing a problem because of their behaviour then maybe you can speak to her again and a make a complaint.
    Everyone knows uni rooms are tiny, single bed and you can touch both walls by stretching out your arms so I cant see how 3 grown people and all their luggage etc is going to fit in one room. I don't see why anyone would wanna squeeze in a tiny room like that for a week. How do we know this is going to be a one off? Not being funny but this could be a recurring thing which is what we are also worried about.
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    (Original post by CAPTAINSHAZAM)
    Hardly a nonsense issue I've had distant relatives stay for a week and it's extremely awkward it's hard to be yourself because in ops case who knows if this is a one time thing what happens when Christmas etc comes and decide to stay again. It leaves bad impressions that parents may think all her flat mates are going out all the time etc. You say they'll be in ops room yet for 3 ppl most uni rooms aren't big enough to house 3 ppl living in one space so they will cross paths and the last thing you want is coming home late etc and having to see parents in which you don't know and knowing they're much more mature and may make you feel uncomtable that week constantly going out and coming back late.
    Thank you. It just creates an awkward atmosphere which is not what any of us want. We want to settle in and enjoy 'uni life' we should be able to feel comfortable in OUR accommodation that we are paying for. The rooms are tiny so I highly doubt all 3 of them will be in her room, meaning they will probably crash on the sofas.
 
 
 
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