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Should I tell him about the abortion? Watch

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    It's simple game theory, really. If you've already decided to abort, then your options are

    a) Tell him, he wants it - unsatisfactory outcome
    b) Tell him, he doesn't want it - neutral outcome
    c) Don't tell him, he wants it - neutral outcome
    d) Don't tell him, he doesn't want it - best outcome

    Whether he has a "right" to know or not, who is it serving to tell him if you are just going to terminate anyway?
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    (Original post by Viva Emptiness)
    It's simple game theory, really. If you've already decided to abort, then your options are

    a) Tell him, he wants it - unsatisfactory outcome
    b) Tell him, he doesn't want it - neutral outcome
    c) Don't tell him, he wants it - neutral outcome
    d) Don't tell him, he doesn't want it - best outcome

    Whether he has a "right" to know or not, who is it serving to tell him if you are just going to terminate anyway?
    So that he can be properly accountable for the fact that he has unintentionally conceived a child—not merely to the OP, but to his own conscience. Legality aside, the propriety of such terminations from a standpoint of moral philosophy is anything but cut-and-dried, and if he subscribes to the view that any infant however young is prima facie 'a person' then he ought to have the opportunity to come to terms with the (perhaps, deservedly harrowing) implications of such a lackadaisical attitude towards physically intimate relationships.

    No, it isn't convenient for the OP: but since we know nothing of their circumstances save that he ended their relationship—as anyone is entitled to do without prejudice, providing they've conducted themselves truthfully—her convenience doesn't override his right to know; if only to realise that, yes, he ****ed up, and should consider moderating his behaviour in accordance with his own scruples.

    Of course, 'game theory' may be sound economic policy, but in a world where unfettered utility maximisation kills thousands every day I'd hesitate to endorse it quite so unreservedly unless I were truly cynical to the point of solipsism. (Which, in all fairness, maybe you are.)
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    (Original post by Profesh)
    So that he can be properly accountable for the fact that he has unintentionally conceived a child—not merely to the OP, but to his own conscience. Legality aside, the propriety of such terminations from a standpoint of moral philosophy is anything but cut-and-dried, and if he subscribes to the view that any infant however young is prima facie 'a person' then he ought to have the opportunity to come to terms with the (perhaps, deservedly harrowing) implications of such an apparently lackadaisical attitude towards physically intimate relationships.

    No, it isn't convenient for the OP: but since we know nothing of their circumstances save that he ended their relationship—as anyone is entitled to do without prejudice, providing they've conducted themselves truthfully—her convenience doesn't override his right to know; if only to realise that, yes, he ****ed up.

    Of course, 'game theory' may be sound economic policy, but in a world where unfettered utility maximisation kills thousands every day I'd hesitate to endorse it quite so unreservedly unless I were truly cynical to the point of solipsism. (Which, in all fairness, maybe you are.)
    Made accountable to his own conscience, come to terms with implications, he ****ed up. Or in short - he should be punished. That just seems needless at a time which is going to be unpleasant anyway.

    And in my defence, this game minimises emotional pain. Although you are pretty much on the nose re: the cynicism.
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    (Original post by Viva Emptiness)
    It's simple game theory, really. If you've already decided to abort, then your options are

    a) Tell him, he wants it - unsatisfactory outcome
    b) Tell him, he doesn't want it - neutral outcome
    c) Don't tell him, he wants it - neutral outcome
    d) Don't tell him, he doesn't want it - best outcome

    Whether he has a "right" to know or not, who is it serving to tell him if you are just going to terminate anyway?
    Wow, about as unethical as you can get....
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    Why wasn't a a condom or other contraceptive used, you dumb hoe u deserve what u get


    Posted from u a hoe mobile
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    (Original post by DanB1991)
    Wow, about as unethical as you can get....
    What is the benefit of telling the guy? Other than some abstract notion that he "deserves" to know.
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    (Original post by Viva Emptiness)
    What is the benefit of telling the guy? Other than some abstract notion that he "deserves" to know.
    By that logic you could argue, why should the woman be free to decide to have an abortion, other than some abstract notion that she has the right to make that decision?
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    (Original post by DanB1991)
    By that logic you could argue, why should the woman be free to decide to have an abortion, other than some abstract notion that she has the right to make that decision?
    Well, no you couldnt. Since denying her that right will have direct and immediate consequences on her wellbeing and future. Not telling the guy has literally no impact on him whatsoever.

    C'mon people I'm waiting for some benefits here.
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    Do whatever you need to do for you and your life OK!

    Telling him or not telling is completely up to you and only he can decide how he reacts to that or if he doesn't know he can't react.

    You are not obligated to tell him but being honest might be something good or it might not be a good idea. Trust your gut instinct. Also it's better for it to come from you instead of anyone else.

    All I can say is no matter what your decision he will either know about your choice or not. You can consider his feelings on the matter but it shouldn't sway your decision. You are not in a relationship with him anymore. You have to take care of yourself and what's in your best interest if that means becoming a mother in 9 months or having an abortion.

    I don't know the guy but he good be a decent person.would you regret not telling him? Would he care? It depends on his personality and character.

    Best of luck
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    (Original post by Viva Emptiness)
    Well, no you couldnt. Since denying her that right will have direct and immediate consequences on her wellbeing and future. Not telling the guy has literally no impact on him whatsoever.

    C'mon people I'm waiting for some benefits here.
    It only affects her wellbeing and future if she decides to have the child... which would be the same case for the father. Many men do strongly argue their lack of choice in the matter also directly affects their wellbeing and future, thus the idea of a legal abortion.

    If she chooses to have the abortion the only real negative consequence is the heartbreak from aborting your child. The Father also has a right to grieve as well.
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    (Original post by The_River)
    Do whatever you need to do for you and your life OK!

    Telling him or not telling is completely up to you and only he can decide how he reacts to that or if he doesn't know he can't react.

    You are not obligated to tell him but being honest might be something good or it might not be a good idea. Trust your gut instinct. Also it's better for it to come from you instead of anyone else.

    All I can say is no matter what your decision he will either know about your choice or not. You can consider his feelings on the matter but it shouldn't sway your decision. You are not in a relationship with him anymore. You have to take care of yourself and what's in your best interest if that means becoming a mother in 9 months or having an abortion.

    I don't know the guy but he good be a decent person.would you regret not telling him? Would he care? It depends on his personality and character.

    Best of luck
    I would say this is the best answer in this discussion. However if OP is finding it hard to choose what to do, you should tell him because he will find it upsetting to hear it from other people and not you, yourself.
 
 
 
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