I hate being a black female-HELP

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    (Original post by cherryred90s)
    No one really wants to sit down to have their hair braided for 4+ hours
    Lol why not talk about 8 hours, those are proper braids. But heck I can deal with it, because I know for the next few months I don't have to think about my hair.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    (PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING)
    THIS IS ABOUT ME-NOT ANY OTHER BLACK FEMALE

    Seriously, i hate being a black female.

    I am 18 years old.

    it has occurred to me that being a black female is expensive because, unlike other races, we have to have protective styles, wash and deep condition our hair on a regular basis otherwise it will be hard to manage or break off.

    I just can't take it anymore, including the DONKEY hours i spend in the hair salon EVERY MONTH getting my hair done and paying lots of £££££ to achieve the look/style i want.

    It also hurts badly when my hair dresser tries to comb out my natural hair by yanking it with the hair blow dryer.

    I used to love how i could rock any hair style. From braids to twists out and from twists out to weaves and wigs because it meant that i could hide my natural kinky coiled hair and not worry about having to look like a clown in it.

    But........at this moment in time......

    I am feed up, especially when i don't achieve the natural hair look that i want.

    I am also sick and tired of hiding my natural hair under wigs, hair extensions, braids and twists outs especially when i know, i want to rock out my natural hair and not rely on these so called "protective styles" that meant to grow your hair.

    I feel like white girls have it a lot easier.

    Their hair can grow freely past down their shoulders without having to do all that protective styling etc.

    I wish my hair could grow just as fast without having to do any special regimen.

    I also wish that my parents will let me to completely shave my hair off because its clearly breaking and needs to restart growing from scratch.

    With my natural......its just breaking, like yesterday, i tried to comb it and it was shedding badly.

    I feel ugly right now and just want to shave it al of, so my hair can "start again".

    The problem with that is my parents, they say "you will not only look ugly if you shave it off, but people will mistake you for a male.

    Seriously, even my parents don't understand what i am going through in terms of dealing with my natural hair.



    I am really suffering from all sorts right now.

    I need help

    Anyone?
    Your 18 so you don't need your parents permission to shave your hair off, just do it then they can't do nothing about it but you can hide it from them for a long time until it all grows back by wearing wigs and head scarfs.
    When you get older you will grow to like yourself more and won't always feel this way
    White girls are always complaining about their hair too. It looks easy to comb and maintain but it's not. They have to work hard to make it look good and try to untangle it as it gets knotty too as this is what my white friend always tells me then she has the cheek to tell me that all black women should go natural and if she were black she would. That really pisses me off because they will never understand how horrible it is and how different their hair is to ours. They still have problems with their own hair but it's not as bad.

    Also remember that white girls wear extensions but the one's that don't need it it's probably damaging their own hair but the ones who have thin hair and do need to wear them it gives them confidence. I see white girls in wig shops trying on and buying wigs too and remember lots of people are losing their own hair through alopecia and from cancer so count yourself lucky you have a choice to wear wigs or extensions, people with serious illnesses don't have that choice.

    Shave your hair off and start again or ask the hairdresser first if it's best to do this as you might not have to shave it all off then get your hair braided and keep it in for 5 years maybe your hair will grow very long. It won't happen for everyone but that's how my hair always grew long but you keep it in long for 6 months at a time.
    I had really long hair past my shoulders when i was 15 and my evil jealous sister took me to a hairdressers far away, not our local one. And she told them to give me a bob. I was really shy, I hated looking in the mirror and i did not understand that a bob meant cutting it very short. I won't go into the whole story but it never grew back. This was many years ago But i would have been really confident with my own long natural hair. I still have a lot of hair and the hairdressers are always telling me people would kill for my hair but it's not long or thick like it used to be as it never grew back the same and it never grew back long but i do not want the hassle of looking after it and the amount of time it takes to wash and comb it.
    But i decided i'm sick of how long it takes me to wash and comb it so i'm going to just get it done at the hairdressers in wet look then it will be easy to wash and comb and i will just wear wigs because i'm not wasting money on expensive hair extensions being attached in the hairdressers.

    My white friend also told me years ago about using a shampoo called Pantene but i prefer to use a combination of condioner and shampoo but it's still Pantene. She said it works wonders for getting all the tangles out of her hair or she buys Pantenne detangling shampoo, she told me to get that one too but the normsl one has always worked perfectly so i did'nt need to
    This shampoo is brilliant, I thought it was only for white people but it works miracles as the shampoos i used before it would still hurt after i wash and combed my hair but with Pantene it softens my hair so it does'nt hurt after i wash and dry my hair and it does'nt hurt when i comb it. But i still hate the process of washing and combing which is why i am going to get the hairderesser to do it in wet look style not straightened because you still have to look after it but with wet look you don't have to do anything so for you maybe this is better than shaving it all off but you can still wear wigs whenever you want.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well, i have been watch youtube vidoes and read some stuff on how to properly take care of my hair.

    and yes, you can't mess around with it and i can't afford to experiment either because anything can happen to my hair.

    #the struggle is soo real
    Honestly braids seem to be your best bet, I know it takes hours to do initially but it frees you from so many responsibilities you would have if you went natural. Have you thought about relaxing/perming it? It's easier to handle in terms of styling etc but it can break easily if you don't look after it. To be honest I don't like the idea personally
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    (Original post by 0to100)
    That's kind of how it is for everyone...
    na it's not my hair is kinky but v long so it takes me 2 whole days to wash/comb/dry


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    but anyway this post sounded a lot like you hate yourself and want to be white


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    #5

    At times I wish I had dark skin, I could just go out in the sun without worrying about skin damage. I'm extremely pale people always ask if I'm ill and when I do try to get a tan I just get horrible freckles. I also have hair trouble due to it being very wavy, it never stays straight and apparently straight suits me best. The grass isn't always greener on the other side.
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    Straighten your hair and quit b1tchin
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    Love yourself the way you are <3
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    (Original post by jambojim97)
    Straighten your hair and quit b1tchin
    This doesn't really work
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    (Original post by Eva.Gregoria)
    Lol why not talk about 8 hours, those are proper braids. But heck I can deal with it, because I know for the next few months I don't have to think about my hair.
    My braids take just under 4hrs and they're proper braids
    #6

    OP a lot of white women spend hours in the salon bleaching and dying their hair, most own a pair of straighteners and extentions are pretty common with them too. And then most of them cut it off at middle age or even in their 20s.

    I always thought Asian hair was the one to envy as that's what everyone buys anyway. Even the elderly Asian women have thick, long, fairytale hair.

    You just have to work with what you've got OP. There's a hair regime for everyone that makes life so much easier. You just have to figure it out and invest the time and money through trial and error into it. There are lots of resources online to help. I'm mixed and after discovering coconut oil my hair grew past my waist effortlessly and it finally lies flat. It is literally the only hair product I will ever need, aside from shampoo and conditioner. I recommend trying some pure oils.
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    (Original post by cherryred90s)
    My braids take just under 4hrs and they're proper braids
    Well much less reason to complain
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Judge Jules)
    Your 18 so you don't need your parents permission to shave your hair off, just do it then they can't do nothing about it but you can hide it from them for a long time until it all grows back by wearing wigs and head scarfs.
    When you get older you will grow to like yourself more and won't always feel this way
    White girls are always complaining about their hair too. It looks easy to comb and maintain but it's not. They have to work hard to make it look good and try to untangle it as it gets knotty too as this is what my white friend always tells me then she has the cheek to tell me that all black women should go natural and if she were black she would. That really pisses me off because they will never understand how horrible it is and how different their hair is to ours. They still have problems with their own hair but it's not as bad.

    Also remember that white girls wear extensions but the one's that don't need it it's probably damaging their own hair but the ones who have thin hair and do need to wear them it gives them confidence. I see white girls in wig shops trying on and buying wigs too and remember lots of people are losing their own hair through alopecia and from cancer so count yourself lucky you have a choice to wear wigs or extensions, people with serious illnesses don't have that choice.

    Shave your hair off and start again or ask the hairdresser first if it's best to do this as you might not have to shave it all off then get your hair braided and keep it in for 5 years maybe your hair will grow very long. It won't happen for everyone but that's how my hair always grew long but you keep it in long for 6 months at a time.
    I had really long hair past my shoulders when i was 15 and my evil jealous sister took me to a hairdressers far away, not our local one. And she told them to give me a bob. I was really shy, I hated looking in the mirror and i did not understand that a bob meant cutting it very short. I won't go into the whole story but it never grew back. This was many years ago But i would have been really confident with my own long natural hair. I still have a lot of hair and the hairdressers are always telling me people would kill for my hair but it's not long or thick like it used to be as it never grew back the same and it never grew back long but i do not want the hassle of looking after it and the amount of time it takes to wash and comb it.
    But i decided i'm sick of how long it takes me to wash and comb it so i'm going to just get it done at the hairdressers in wet look then it will be easy to wash and comb and i will just wear wigs because i'm not wasting money on expensive hair extensions being attached in the hairdressers.

    My white friend also told me years ago about using a shampoo called Pantene but i prefer to use a combination of condioner and shampoo but it's still Pantene. She said it works wonders for getting all the tangles out of her hair or she buys Pantenne detangling shampoo, she told me to get that one too but the normsl one has always worked perfectly so i did'nt need to
    This shampoo is brilliant, I thought it was only for white people but it works miracles as the shampoos i used before it would still hurt after i wash and combed my hair but with Pantene it softens my hair so it does'nt hurt after i wash and dry my hair and it does'nt hurt when i comb it. But i still hate the process of washing and combing which is why i am going to get the hairderesser to do it in wet look style not straightened because you still have to look after it but with wet look you don't have to do anything so for you maybe this is better than shaving it all off but you can still wear wigs whenever you want.
    Thanks for the wealth of advice here.

    I feel like you are the only one who has actually read my post and understood me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    (PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING)
    THIS IS ABOUT ME-NOT ANY OTHER BLACK FEMALE

    Seriously, i hate being a black female.

    I am 18 years old.

    it has occurred to me that being a black female is expensive because, unlike other races, we have to have protective styles, wash and deep condition our hair on a regular basis otherwise it will be hard to manage or break off.

    I just can't take it anymore, including the DONKEY hours i spend in the hair salon EVERY MONTH getting my hair done and paying lots of £££££ to achieve the look/style i want.

    It also hurts badly when my hair dresser tries to comb out my natural hair by yanking it with the hair blow dryer.

    I used to love how i could rock any hair style. From braids to twists out and from twists out to weaves and wigs because it meant that i could hide my natural kinky coiled hair and not worry about having to look like a clown in it.

    But........at this moment in time......

    I am feed up, especially when i don't achieve the natural hair look that i want.

    I am also sick and tired of hiding my natural hair under wigs, hair extensions, braids and twists outs especially when i know, i want to rock out my natural hair and not rely on these so called "protective styles" that meant to grow your hair.

    I feel like white girls have it a lot easier.

    Their hair can grow freely past down their shoulders without having to do all that protective styling etc.

    I wish my hair could grow just as fast without having to do any special regimen.

    I also wish that my parents will let me to completely shave my hair off because its clearly breaking and needs to restart growing from scratch.

    With my natural......its just breaking, like yesterday, i tried to comb it and it was shedding badly.

    I feel ugly right now and just want to shave it al of, so my hair can "start again".

    The problem with that is my parents, they say "you will not only look ugly if you shave it off, but people will mistake you for a male.

    Seriously, even my parents don't understand what i am going through in terms of dealing with my natural hair.



    I am really suffering from all sorts right now.

    I need help

    Anyone?
    Girl I feel you. My mum is always saying you can't wear your hair natural always forcing me to spend money on my hair instead of my education. I've always been bullied for short hair and been mistaken for a boy and they always say that I look like a black male and it's insulting. I just have scars everywhere all over my leg and body and just feel so undesired.
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    Sounds like you are tired of being female more than being black. Why not just announce you are a male now.. ? Its all the rage
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by blackdiamond97)
    Honestly braids seem to be your best bet, I know it takes hours to do initially but it frees you from so many responsibilities you would have if you went natural. Have you thought about relaxing/perming it? It's easier to handle in terms of styling etc but it can break easily if you don't look after it. To be honest I don't like the idea personally
    My hair was relaxed before.

    It made my hair thin whereas it is naturally thick.

    It also damaged my hair.

    I have not got a relaxer since, probably since, like 5 months ago now.


    Anyway, since creating this thread, seeing people's responses and seeing another thread directed towards me, i have come to realise that the grass is not greener on the other side and that i don't have to go through all the pain, i just have to find a regimen that will work for me and stick to it.

    Also, as a black female, i can literally have ANY style in the world and rock my natural hair when i discover how to maintain it of course.

    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Betelgeuse-)
    Sounds like you are tired of being female more than being black. Why not just announce you are a male now.. ? Its all the rage
    I can't and besides its all good now.


    I have come to see the good out of my original post.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by VictoriaCoolio)
    Girl I feel you. My mum is always saying you can't wear your hair natural always forcing me to spend money on my hair instead of my education. I've always been bullied for short hair and been mistaken for a boy and they always say that I look like a black male and it's insulting. I just have scars everywhere all over my leg and body and just feel so undesired.
    I know how you feel, my parents are simmilar.

    If not for me having braids or twists outs, people will definitely mistake me for a male.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Fatma_albaity)
    What's your hair type? Mine's 3c and I used to feel the exact same thing you're feeling right now but once I've accepted my hair, it has looked fabulous ever since. First things first, stop all heat (blow drying, hair straightening, using a curling iron) then stop using shampoo (this may sound weird but seriously shampoo damages curly hair because the sulphates in the shampoo are basically drying agents and curly hair is naturally dry) Lastly, moisturise constantly. Moisturise moisturise moisturise. And the thing is, it doesnt have to be expensive at all, put oil in your hair before you go to sleep (Coconut, olive or argan oil literally whatever you want) also make sure to wrap it to protect your pillows, when you wake up wash your hair with conditioner only, and you can sometimes deep condition (put conditioner or hair mask for 15 minutes then wash) but you dont need to deep condition everyday. Once your hair is washed put a leave in conditioner and air dry your hair. Make sure to detangle before putting oil, before washing and after washing (dont detangle or touch your hair while its drying so that you dont ruin your curls) and never ever use a brush just use wide toothed combs. Also use an old cotton t shirt instead of a towel to reduce friction and frizz. If you follow this routine, you wont need to spend so much money on products or salon care. You can of course change this routine as much as you like and you should watch curly hair routines on YouTube. Just get to know your hair and believe me you will love it.
    Edit: Just remember you can always use cheaper products than the one they use in the videos as long as they work with you so keep experimenting with new products and go natural (no sulphates, no silicones, no paraben)
    Thans for the reply and i think my hair type is 4C
 
 
 
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