Flatmate heard me having sex? What should I do

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    "only 3 times" loooooooool
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    (Original post by daniellee0)
    Our landlord is rubbish! I'd fix it myself if I knew how because even if I'm not having sex rolling over to the other side of the bed makes so much noise!
    Put the mattress on the floor. Although, I advise you not to do anything otherwise this puritan Muslimah is going to object to your bacon in the fridge.
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    (Original post by daniellee0)
    No just the same guy. Only had him round 3 times as She always complains when we have people over
    Is this a uni hall comprised of lots of mini flats/ shared common area?

    Its balancing and respecting her wishes v everyone elses.

    Its only to be expected you end up having sex, so am not sure its reasonable that you tell her every time you have to bring company back. If you are willing to text her then thats up to you but she has to give you the number to be able to do that.

    House meeting and sort it out or will she feel thats you ganging up on her?

    She could get some ear plugs.

    Is there a chance she can transfer out or find somewhere else? No point her being unhappy and no point you feeling awkward. If shes going to stay in her room all the time then nothing will ever get sorted.

    Oh as for the squeeky bed, then see where the noise is coming from and normally some olive oil at the joins will sort it.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Is this a uni hall comprised of lots of mini flats/ shared common area?

    Its balancing and respecting her wishes v everyone elses.

    Its only to be expected you end up having sex, so am not sure its reasonable that you tell her every time you have to bring company back. If you are willing to text her then thats up to you but she has to give you the number to be able to do that.

    House meeting and sort it out or will she feel thats you ganging up on her?

    She could get some ear plugs.

    Is there a chance she can transfer out or find somewhere else? No point her being unhappy and no point you feeling awkward. If shes going to stay in her room all the time then nothing will ever get sorted.

    Oh as for the squeeky bed, then see where the noise is coming from and normally some olive oil at the joins will sort it.
    Most people in uni halls are gonna be having sex. Good luck to her flatmate on that.
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    (Original post by PrinceHarrys)
    Most people in uni halls are gonna be having sex. Good luck to her flatmate on that.
    Did I say otherwise?
    Are you actually making a point beyond that?
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    Maybe the muslin lady could consider living with the gentleman in this thread:

    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...rimary_content
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Did I say otherwise?
    Are you actually making a point beyond that?
    Obviously pointing out that transferring may not solve her flatmates problem :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

    Unless she finds an all Muslim flat with a space going which isnt likely.
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    (Original post by PrinceHarrys)
    Obviously pointing out that transferring may not solve her flatmates problem :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

    Unless she finds an all Muslim flat with a space going which isnt likely.
    Presumably by picking somewhere to transfer to she would decide it was more suitable than the place she was vacating otherwise it would defeat the object. Yes there are flats which muslim females share, ive seen them advertised. Hardly sirprising that some of them might wish to live together.
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    (Original post by Reality Check)
    Maybe the muslin lady could consider living with the gentleman in this thread:

    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...rimary_content
    99% chance she won't want to share with a guy too. Even if its just one guy in a flat.

    Unfortunately some people don't want to "integrate", but then they also make life a nightmare for everyone else as OP shows. If it was that big a deal for her she should started looking early and found an all Muslim female house through the Muslim society.
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    (Original post by PrinceHarrys)
    Better yet shout Allahu Akbar.









    Rofl

    I was about to say, instead of screaming "Oh God, YES!", scream "Oh Allah, YES!"
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    (Original post by PrinceHarrys)
    99% chance she won't want to share with a guy too. Even if its just one guy in a flat.

    Unfortunately some people don't want to "integrate", but then they also make life a nightmare for everyone else as OP shows. If it was that big a deal for her she should started looking early and found an all Muslim female house through the Muslim society.
    Absolutely right there. And even though he's not currently beating the bishop, she'd probably still object.
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    (Original post by daniellee0)
    I've had sex only around 3 times since I moved into halls a few months ago. She's told me she's heard me have sex (awkward) I understand it obviously won't have been pleasant for her but I also want to feel comfortable in the flat as much as she does. I mean it's not as if I do it every night...

    She's quite funny about any of our flat mates having boys over, she said that we have to tell her before we have any male over because she wears a headscarf which is fair enough but she won't give us her number or Facebook etc for us to tell her beforehand. She's in her room 90% of the time so I don't really know what to do.

    Anyone had this problem with flat mates hearing you have sex?
    I understand both sides.

    However, she's paying the same as you to live there so I think she's being fair enough to tell her when you have boys over. And maybe you can try to be a little bit more quieter? If not, then can you not go over to the boys' place instead? Or you can suggest she goes out for a bit or wear ear plugs.

    It's a hard one.

    But at least try and be a little bit respectful. My housemate has sex and his bed is squeaky and his right next door to me. I'm the same. But we have a laugh about it because it's funny. However someone haven't grown up in such a culture as we have, so they are unfamiliar with this sort of "problem".

    Just have a quiet word with her and try to give her some suggestions like I've stated above.
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    ur flatmate sounds annoying lol


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    Muslim and former hijab wearer here. Don't bring her religion into it (not saying that to defend Islam) because she's just difficult to live with full stop. Sure it's meh to hear your flatmate having sex but complaining whenever you bring people around (assuming they're not around and being loud several times per week) and not giving you a way to contact her are problems that would exist religion or not. I think you guys need to have a good talk with her or tell her to look for options to live with people more suited to her personality. You're alright OP.
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    ask her if she wants to join in next time?
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    It's not a big deal, just make sure that she doesn't hear you next time.

    Be considerate because no one wants to listen to that. She might feel better about you bringing people around for sex if she knows that she won't hear it. I had a housemate once who would shake up her bed during sex to the point that she was making the floor shake. She would moan and gasp loudly all the while, and it didn't help that the walls were thin. Needless to say I ended up disliking her because it really wasn't fair on me to have to listen to that.
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    (Original post by WBZ144)
    It's not a big deal, just make sure that she doesn't hear you next time.

    Be considerate because no one wants to listen to that. She might feel better about you bringing people around for sex if she knows that she won't hear it. I had a housemate once who would shake up her bed during sex to the point that she was making the floor shake. She would moan and gasp loudly all the while, and it didn't help that the walls were thin. Needless to say I ended up disliking her because it really wasn't fair on me to have to listen to that.
    It's not just that even male friends we have round She disapproves of, none of us wanna upset her or make her feel uncomfortable as we all live here and we should all feel comfortable but she doesn't really seem to wanna talk / compromise with us
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    (Original post by daniellee0)
    It's not just that even male friends we have round She disapproves of, none of us wanna upset her or make her feel uncomfortable as we all live here and we should all feel comfortable but she doesn't really seem to wanna talk / compromise with us
    Well in that case she's acting like an entitled little snowflake. Still be considerate and try your best not to make noise during sex but also sit her down and tell her that you need to reach a compromise, as you don't feel comfortable and at home. She needs to give you her phone number or another method of communication which will make it easy to let her know when you're bringing boys over. It's her choice to wear a headscarf, so why should you have to work your life around that choice? My sister used to wear a headscarf and would just put it on when leaving her room at the uni accommodation (she was sharing with boys). It's hardly going to kill her, especially since she is in her room most of the time anyway.
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    **** it.

    Firstly, you're in your room. Walls not being thick are a consequence of that house. She should have realized this before moving in and taken it was a fault.

    Secondly, okay, she has a headscarf, so I presume an issue is it's kind of something they don't do in their religion right? Well, in our side of the world's religion, we don't wear headscarfs. Their presence doesn't offend us (well, the logical 'us') so nor should the presence of you doing whatever you want in your own space.

    The only problem I could see is if you're having people wandering about the house or something, but as a guy, the last thing I typically thing after getting the ride is "I wonder what kind of accent pillows she has in her living room". I'm thinking "Alright now move over and throw me some covers".
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    Move out and start afresh somewhere else with a clean slate.
 
 
 
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