dumped me thinking i was pregnant.. what now? Watch

brightxburns
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#61
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#61
Don't pay him ANY money. E-mail his mother stating precisely why you are not paying (she should at least be aware that she is being quite unfair).... Then block her address, cut off all communication.
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xjemmax
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#62
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Oh god.. thanks so much for all the replies.. :O

When his mum said she would help us out, that was meaning, she would pay some, then he and I would split the remainder - now it has gone to me paying half, which - to be honest, i can't afford

I think the majority of the replies say don't give them any money - I know that if it was him oweing my mum money, and I'd dumped him, I would take responsibility for that because I cut him out of my life.

I have been on the pill for the whole of our relationship, and under no circumstances am I ready for a baby yet. I had also told him from the start, that if the worst ever did happen, I couldn't get an abortion (this is due to seeing a friend's experience)

Oooh its so difficult.. though, I suppose I'm never going to see any of them again, so it isn't like they are going to come knocking on my door.. and I didn't sign anything in writing.

We also opened a joint bank account last year - I think that what I will do is tell him to keep all the money in there (there's about two thirds of what she is now asking for) and say that, you called this off, now you can pay the rest, to him.

Does this sound OK do you think?
thanks loads again
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bekahchu
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#63
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(Original post by xjemmax)
Oh god.. thanks so much for all the replies.. :O

When his mum said she would help us out, that was meaning, she would pay some, then he and I would split the remainder - now it has gone to me paying half, which - to be honest, i can't afford

I think the majority of the replies say don't give them any money - I know that if it was him oweing my mum money, and I'd dumped him, I would take responsibility for that because I cut him out of my life.

I have been on the pill for the whole of our relationship, and under no circumstances am I ready for a baby yet. I had also told him from the start, that if the worst ever did happen, I couldn't get an abortion (this is due to seeing a friend's experience)

Oooh its so difficult.. though, I suppose I'm never going to see any of them again, so it isn't like they are going to come knocking on my door.. and I didn't sign anything in writing.

We also opened a joint bank account last year - I think that what I will do is tell him to keep all the money in there (there's about two thirds of what she is now asking for) and say that, you called this off, now you can pay the rest, to him.

Does this sound OK do you think?
thanks loads again
Sounds fair enough to me, especially as you have said the two of you were meant to split the remainder his mother didn't pay.
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Charlotte_Heart_NYC
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#64
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Sounds like a good compromise!
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shona
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#65
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You have a joint account? I missed that.

FREEZE IT.

Not so much because you think you're entitled to half of the money, but you don't want him running up an overdraft and you being liable for half of the debt. Seriously. Call the bank and get it frozen now pending further information being provided by you and your ex-boyfriend.

Dumping a girl because she's pregnant has got to be one of the lowest things a guy can do. I wouldn't credit a man like that with being reasonable enough not to drain your joint account and incur an unauthorised overdraft.
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xjemmax
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#66
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i thought it was like, he can't access it because he isn't in the country and it doesn't have a card, it's a savings account with no overdraft.. and wouldn't it need both of us to sign for an overdraft to be added?

not too clued up in the details of banking though

thanks for the advice though, i didn't even think of it!
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bekahchu
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#67
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(Original post by xjemmax)
i thought it was like, he can't access it because he isn't in the country and it doesn't have a card, it's a savings account with no overdraft.. and wouldn't it need both of us to sign for an overdraft to be added?

not too clued up in the details of banking though

thanks for the advice though, i didn't even think of it!
Well you should be all right in that respect then as I'm pretty sure anything from a joint account (unless you both have separate cards to access it) has to be done with both people concerned's authorisation (excuse the poor grammar) - never had a joint bank account though so probably not the best person to say.
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pumpkin7
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#68
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see, he probably thinks he's ' it ' because he doesn't have to pay anything and he's a mammas boy riding through life on daddys coat tails.
when he is faced with the prospect of actually having to take responsibility for something, he goes running for the door! what a jackass.

don't give them a dime. she said she would pay for it at the start, and then decided to change her mind.. that's just not on. as someone else said, shove his stuff outside (preferably torn up and burnt a bit) and just be glad the birk is out of your life.
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shona
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#69
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(Original post by bekahchu)
Well you should be all right in that respect then as I'm pretty sure anything from a joint account (unless you both have separate cards to access it) has to be done with both people concerned's authorisation (excuse the poor grammar) - never had a joint bank account though so probably not the best person to say.
That's not true. That's the whole point of a joint account - either signatory can do whatever they damn well feel like, because the bank assumes, if you've taken out a joint account, if you're not married, you treat each other as if you are.

In an acrimonious split, the bank doesn't intervene if one party drains the account without the other's consent. That's why people only get joint accounts if they're pretty serious about each other.

Seriously, just freeze it. The bank won't let you close it without contacting him first, but if you put a dispute on it, they will freeze it and that will stop either of you simply draining it and messing around.
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bekahchu
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#70
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(Original post by pumpkin7)
see, he probably thinks he's ' it ' because he doesn't have to pay anything and he's a mammas boy riding through life on daddys coat tails.
when he is faced with the prospect of actually having to take responsibility for something, he goes running for the door! what a jackass.

don't give them a dime. she said she would pay for it at the start, and then decided to change her mind.. that's just not on. as someone else said, shove his stuff outside (preferably torn up and burnt a bit) and just be glad the birk is out of your life.
Actually as the OP says, the mother didn't say she'd pay for all of it - she said she would "help out". It would have helped if she'd defined exactly what "help out" meant from the beginning though. I agree with whoever said that the fact his mum then said half should still stand regardless that they split up but, xJemmax should not have to pay the whole half herself as she agreed with the ex they would split it. I think her idea regarding the bank account is the best solution from all aspects.
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bekahchu
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(Original post by shona)
That's not true. That's the whole point of a joint account - either signatory can do whatever they damn well feel like, because the bank assumes, if you've taken out a joint account, if you're not married, you treat each other as if you are.

In an acrimonious split, the bank doesn't intervene if one party drains the account without the other's consent. That's why people only get joint accounts if they're pretty serious about each other.

Seriously, just freeze it. The bank won't let you close it without contacting him first, but if you put a dispute on it, they will freeze it and that will stop either of you simply draining it and messing around.
Ok, fair enough. xJemmax will have to make a decision based on that. Sounds like it would be a good idea to get the account closed ASAP.
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halhilli
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#72
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although a guy may panic with that kind of news it takes a blackened heart to leave a girl and not supporting her after all the pregnancy is half his fault...soo put his clothes outside and if u do decide to give the money then leave a bitter note saying this is the money towards the next girl u want to abuse...or maybe im being too rude
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Allthewayhome
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#73
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I would email her to let her know what her son did.

If it was me who mistreated you like that, not that I would, then my mum would, providing she found out, boot my balls.
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jjeess333
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#74
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Personally id take the remainder of the money out of the savings account, go and get your nails and your hair done. grab a few new pairs of shoes, and the most expensive dress you can find. go out and have a girls night! get drunk and dance around with ur friends. hes not worth the time or the effort... have a night where u forget about him. and send him a picture of u in your new clothes looking fabulous. with the following note attatched... ' liking the outfit? i hope so.. because its your money that paid for it'
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xjemmax
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#75
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Thats just it though, I really was happy with him.. and until the end, he treated me nicely. Though, not one part of me could want to stay with him after he ran away like he did, to abandon me if I had been pregnant.

I don't want to hurt him like he did to me. I do, however, want to make him realise how much he has upset me, as he has shown himself for who he really is. He always said he hated people who split up when a baby came along.. hypocrite grr!

But, I'm much happier without him, and glad I didn't get closer knowing that he was capable of doing what he always said he wouldn't. And leaving your partner and possible baby is the height of cowardice
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SilverEagle
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#76
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nobody would blame you if you decided to have a **** in his suitcase before he picks it up from your front lawn.

Make sure you deal with your accounts and stop him getting access to your money in any way. Not an expert on legal matters, but im pretty sure the expenses involved with taking you to court would outweigh the amount. Plus there is little evidence. I dont think you have to worry about anything.
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Nadinus
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#77
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I still reckon on giving at least a bit of the money. The money agreement is a seperate issue from the split and then at least you won't owe them anything, morally or in agreement.
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shona
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#78
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(Original post by xjemmax)
Thats just it though, I really was happy with him.. and until the end, he treated me nicely. Though, not one part of me could want to stay with him after he ran away like he did, to abandon me if I had been pregnant.
Well done, you. I realise how hard it must be to say that after having felt so strongly about him for so long. But it's definitely the right attitude to have.

(Original post by xjemmax)
I don't want to hurt him like he did to me. I do, however, want to make him realise how much he has upset me, as he has shown himself for who he really is.
He's not worth it. Take your share of the money out of your account, then get it frozen (you won't be able to close it, I shouldn't think, but you will be able to put a stop on it) and move on.

I think you're dealing with this so well. You should be proud of yourself. :hugs:
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fuzzyduck
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#79
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After the way her son treated you, his mother doesn't deserve any money, especially since she's so well off.

In these kind of situations, the simplest approach is usually the best.

Don't respond to any emails.
Don't talk to them on the phone.
Don't talk to any relatives who may come round to pick up your ex's clothes.

Keep the clothes somewhere dry, and if they don't pursue you for them, sell them. But generally, just refuse all contact with them. If they're in Australia, there's really not much they can do about it. Since the agreement to pay half the fare was verbal, it can't be legally enforced, since it's your word against theirs.
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jjeess333
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#80
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[QUOTE=SilverEagle]nobody would blame you if you decided to have a **** in his suitcase before he picks it up from your front lawn. [QUOTE]
HAHAHAHA:p:
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