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Internet Boyfreind part 2 watch

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    (Original post by .x.alexa.x.)
    :cool: shame on you undercoveragent and thanks Laevis for backing mehh
    yep, shame on me, from now on I will treat everyone on the internet as a paedophile until they prove otherwise
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    (Original post by undercover agent)
    maybe you're not but many are, and also, I think maybe the reason these circumstances seem suspicious is because people tend to over-think things too much where the internet is concerned, due to all the urban fairytales about 'pedos' and 'pervs' waiting to groom unsuspecting young people before luring them to their layer and going all ted bundy on them.
    Well in fairness, this guy (I can't remember how old he was but it was over 30 for sure IIRC) is wanting to lure her to his lair, with no meeting beforehand, no nothing.

    I first met my boyfriend in an airport. Ok, so we hit it off right away, and we went back to his before long. But in a public place and all, it's safe.

    That's the part I take issue with, really - he just wants to get her in his bed by his own admittance ASAP! - and the age and the questionable lies he's told in the past, and the thing about the police (this was from the last thread).
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    (Original post by undercover agent)
    so he's an idiot who has no idea of tact and social norms when it comes to talking to women, that could be all...?
    You should try and dig out her old thread - seriously. The guy in question was in trouble with the police and all sorts...
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    (Original post by undercover agent)
    so he's an idiot who has no idea of tact and social norms when it comes to talking to women, that could be all...?
    That's still not the kind of person you want to be alone with. Going to the flat of (and SHARING A BED WITH) some guy who has clearly a) expressed sexual interest and b) has no idea of personal boundaries is still a baaaad idea, whether or not he's actively trying to groom/manipulate her or whatever.

    OP, stay the hell away from this guy!
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    (Original post by suek)
    You should try and dig out her old thread - seriously. The guy in question was in trouble with the police and all sorts...
    Found it!
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    You need to get a life and meet someone in real life.
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    (Original post by suek)
    Well in fairness, this guy (I can't remember how old he was but it was over 30 for sure IIRC) is wanting to lure her to his lair, with no meeting beforehand, no nothing.

    I first met my boyfriend in an airport. Ok, so we hit it off right away, and we went back to his before long. But in a public place and all, it's safe.

    That's the part I take issue with, really - he just wants to get her in his bed by his own admittance ASAP! - and the age and the questionable lies he's told in the past, and the thing about the police (this was from the last thread).
    in fairness I think we need more information from the OP before coming to a reasonable judgement, like has she asked him to meet somewhere else? did he make an excuse, what was said? etc etc
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    (Original post by beautifullybroken)
    You need to get a life and meet someone in real life.
    :rolleyes:

    Not everyone you meet online is weird...and she technically will be meeting him in real life
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    No offence OP, but this bloke is proven to be abit of a joke! Soz to be horrible, but he's asking you to go round to his 'new flat', sleep with him - doesn't that kinda demonstrate this guy is a creep? . . . .

    I thought way back from your first thread that this was dodgey and what you've said in this threadh has me think YES even more dodgey.

    Your 19yrs old - go out and enjoy yourself; why are you beating your brain over an internet guy that is clearly a moron creep spoon feeding you rubbish - hopin that you'll fall for it?? . . .
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    (Original post by undercover agent)
    yep, shame on me, from now on I will treat everyone on the internet as a paedophile until they prove otherwise
    No not everyone, just someone that is:
    • 15 years your senior when you're still at college
    • Hasn't shown you themselves on a live webcam, so pictures he's sending could be completely fake
    • Describes you as "Yummy" when you tell him you're quite small for your age
    • Has been kicked out of his house by his ex in a situation which involved the police
    • Takes a long time to reply when you ask him personal stuff during online conversations
    • You feel like they are hiding something from you
    • The stuff they tell you doesn't add up
    • Wants to meet you at his "new flat" in a city which he doesn't even live
    • Tells you he wants to have sex with you on the first day you meet

    Don't give out advice to clearly naive people when you haven't got a clue what you're talking about. Go and watch paint dry or something, it'd probably be a more productive use of your time :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by RightSaidJames)
    You're obviously not comfortable with the idea of being in his flat. He's obviously a lot older than you, and you're uncomfortable with that, despite how nice, caring and charming he appears to be. Trust your instinct.

    Also, the story about his ex is way too over the top, I think he's making it up to make you empathise with him - biting and scratching? Seriously?
    (Original post by RightSaidJames)
    If you're still not convinced, think of it another way; there's no reason why you have to meet him at all, in fact arguably there's no reason why you should. You have nothing to lose by not meeting up with him, and very little to gain by meeting him, unless you count being pestered for sex as a good thing. No decent man would bring up sex like this, let alone say it over the internet when he hasn't even met you.
    To clarify, I'm not one of these "internet = bad", "internet boyfriends = paedophiles" people either. I've met a girl through Myspace/MSN and, other than the drawbacks of having not that much in common and living too far away (half hour train journey), it was a perfectly valid relationship. I knew she was a real person before meeting her (and vice versa) because there was complete transparency and honesty about who we were, and things like photos of each other both of ourselves, or with family/friends confirmed that we were exactly who we said we were. Plus, when the person you're talking to is your own age, you can just tell when they're genuine because of the warmness of their response, knowledge of the culture of your age group...

    As far as I can see, you can't say the same for this guy. You don't trust him, you're not sure what his motives are, you're uncomfortable with his requests, you only want to meet him because he's making you feel guilty.... snap out of it. Tell him firmly (yet kindly) that you're not going to meet him, and that's the end of it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    plz keep anon for obvious reasons.

    (for those who have read 'Internet Boyfreind' thread)

    Ok, so this is going to sound very stupit of me. I dont knw what to do, hes said to me know that he will be invite me for a stay at his 'new flat' which he is going to buy in July.

    I dont know how but I kind of have agreed to the invitation, I mainly did this to see his reaction, and what he tells me, but whatever we have discussed has put me into more confusion. And I am not sure now that if he is speaking the truth or just lying to me to get me into a trap.

    Ok, as he knows I am a virgin, he asked me if i would sleep with him straightaway, I told him I will not.

    He said that we can share same double bed when I am staying with him, but he said that He wont do anything with me if I dont want him to.
    He admitted that he may get very aroused, but will just go and release his tension somewhere else.
    And he keeps on saying and reassuring me that he will not do anything which I am not comfortable with.

    Also, I asked him about his 'ex' and he told me that they fell out of love, and she didnt like him chatting to freinds 'online'.
    And he told me that she attacked him, and he had biting, and scratch marks all over his back and front. And this is when he left her.

    I know that it could be dangerous meeting him by going all way to his place, but on other side I want to aswell as dont want to break his heart because many other women has done that to him.

    Again, your advice will be very appreciated. Thank you for reading, listening.
    What an utter creep. One can only wonder at the extent of your mutual desperation.

    Have you even so much as spoken to this individual?
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    (Original post by Profesh)
    What an utter creep. One can only wonder at the extent of your mutual desperation.

    Have you even so much as spoken to this individual?
    Good point. OP, have you talked to him on the phone, or at least with a microphone over MSN?
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    The alarming thing is that the way it reads, he thought she was "yummy" because (?) she was small/looked young for her age.

    We don't know the police/ex thing wasn't trivial - but neither does the OP. I wouldn't want to get involved with a man who had that kind of past that he wouldn't at least tell me about.

    I accept what you're saying, as are many people here, that not everyone in the internet is a paedophile. But we know that. However, the other things about this guy don't make suggest good boyfriend material, either.

    The last two points in the above post that you didn't comment on are huge to me IMO. Your "advice" is playing down the danger that this girl is in here, she might listen to you, you need to be careful! The guy blatantly wants sex from her, she's a virgin, he's 34, she's 19. Remove the internet aspect and you have a 34 and 19 year old who haven't met before and a 19 year old who will get taken advantage of.

    She doesn't want to sleep with him. She's not even 50% sure she wants to meet him! It's a bad idea all round!
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    (Original post by suek)
    She doesn't want to sleep with him. She's not even 50% sure she wants to meet him! It's a bad idea all round!
    if she categorically 100% never wants to sleep with him, I agree she shouldn't meet him.

    as for her being 19 and him being 34, I was giving the 19 year old the benefit of the doubt, and not patronising her, by assuming that she wouldnt be siginificantly less worldy-wise than him, and therefore he wouldnt be able to take advantage that easily - if the OP was a 16 year old, my advice would have been somewhat different...
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    (Original post by undercover agent)
    if she categorically 100% never wants to sleep with him, I agree she shouldn't meet him.

    as for her being 19 and him being 34, I was giving the 19 year old the benefit of the doubt, and not patronising her, by assuming that she wouldnt be siginificantly less worldy-wise than him, and therefore he wouldnt be able to take advantage that easily - if the OP was a 16 year old, my advice would have been somewhat different...
    But she is a virgin, whilst that's nothing to be frowned on of course, it asks the question of her sexual experience - has she had any at all? Kissed a guy? If not, it can be very easy to fall into the trap of wanting to feel "wanted" etc. So yeah, if she doesn't want to go there with him, definitely not meet up. Could easily get forced, or not forced but, feel like she should and all.

    Apologies for the blatant conclusion jumping.

    It's just.. if you're on your first date, you're a virgin, you don't expect the guy to ask "so, sleep with me tonight?" do you? It's just sleezy, creepy, a step too far. It's one thing to be sexually experienced and comfortable with it, even to want it too, but a virgin can't necessarily make that call IMO!
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    (Original post by undercover agent)
    so he's an idiot who has no idea of tact and social norms when it comes to talking to women, that could be all...?
    Then it's doubtful that he's going to have a positive influence on her life. She doesn't need to pick up the pieces of his other relationships (and I don't even think they existed in the first place) at the age of 19. Why are you defending someone who wants to meet a teenager over the internet to share a bed with and then toss off in the toilet?

    OP you owe this man nothing and it's his responsibility to better his own life even if you've swallowed all his self-pitying nonsense. Please stay safe and don't go, because it's obviously clear that this guy is well versed in guilt tripping young women into having sympathy sex with him. If you ignore everyone's advice and do go, for the love of God tell your parents or your friends where you're going. Arrange for them to ring you at a certain time. Just follow your instinct! If it seems dodgy, then it more than likely is.
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    (Original post by suek)
    But she is a virgin, whilst that's nothing to be frowned on of course, it asks the question of her sexual experience - has she had any at all? Kissed a guy? If not, it can be very easy to fall into the trap of wanting to feel "wanted" etc. So yeah, if she doesn't want to go there with him, definitely not meet up. Could easily get forced, or not forced but, feel like she should and all.

    Apologies for the blatant conclusion jumping.
    of course, I understand what you're saying to a degree, but also sexual inexperience does not equal all-round naivety and vulnerability.
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    (Original post by undercover agent)
    of course, I understand what you're saying to a degree, but also sexual inexperience does not equal all-round naivety and vulnerability.
    That alone doesn't, but there's a lot of markers in the OP's posts that suggest quite a degree of it too, to me, which is why people are having a go at your "advice" :P
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    okay Im starting to agree that the OP should not meet this guy, but I still do not agree that there is necessarily any specific danger posed to her, and I was objecting to how quickly people assumed the worst, thats all - it kind of smacked a little of the 'internet perv moral panic'.

    but on reflection, considering all aspects of this guys personality, it probably isnt a good idea. He is probably not dangerous but still I will concede that probably no good can come of this
 
 
 
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