boyfriend dumps me cruelly after 5 and a half years Watch

Anonymous #1
#61
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#61
(Original post by Casserole)
New lover. Nothing that abrupt is for any other reason.

Even if he had a sudden pang of his outlook in life, thus wanting to get rid of everything he has ans starting afresh, he would have wrapped things up.

But a new lover is more likely to persuade him to forget about the old and stuff. Happens to guys all the time.
i dont know really dont. im being kept in the dark.
a new girl..even after 5 years, he would do this so cruelly?
why are guys so horrible..
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Casserole
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#62
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#62
I'm sure there are quite a few posts of guys being dumped by their 4 year gfs by text, so let's not turn this into a 'all men are crap" rant, ok
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crazyhelicopter
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#63
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#63
(Original post by Anonymous)
a new girl..even after 5 years, he would do this so cruelly?
why are guys so horrible..
Because he is a complete and utter ********! You are far better off without him, he obviously doesn't give a dam and why should you? (I understand that at the moment obviously you do)

Also not all blokes are like this, you should be grateful that he has given you the opportunity to find someone better, who actually cares about you and your feelings
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thanette
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#64
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#64
So sorry. Don't even think any more about ending your own life-this is (unfortunately) a situation that you have no idea how to deal with, so natural you will feel this way. He is an idiot for refusing to inform you or explain his reasons. Have you got summer coming up? Can you go away with friends or family for a while to escape this situation? After you eventually speak to him, I would cut all contact with him-at least for quite a while, so your attachment lessens.
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Ang|ophi|e
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#65
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#65
First of all, don't kill yourself. That's a silly thing to do all just because of some boy. He's an idiot for what he did to you. Don't let him get that satisfaction that he is someone special to you. He won't answer your calls? Don't call him. Act strong and in time you will become strong. Get rid of everything that reminds you of him. Be glad that you guys weren't engaged or married because if he did that to you, the pain would be far worse. Hang out with your friends. Spend time with your family. They will help you through this hard time. If you give it time, the feelings will go away and you will realize that yes as clique as it sounds, there are other fishes in the sea.

Don't think about him. He hurt you. He doesn't deserve you. Before you let him get the satisfaction that you need him in life, make him feel jealous. Make him regret what he did to you. If you come off strong and confident, unaffected by that break up, not only will you get over him quicker but he will be hurt. Show him that those 5 years meant nothing to you. Granted, I know this isn't how you feel. But if you keep this mindset, it will work.
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RangerX
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#66
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#66
I'm sure you can move on, that you can and you should. It might not be easy but they say whatever don't kill us can only make us stronger.I don't know how it feels or how you feel but committing suicide would hurt more people who love you or care. People can lose their mind and go crazy in someways when they lose their loved like that of Mark Speight tragedy. I just hope you find the strength to live and move on.
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Jabbamuffin
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#67
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#67
Really sorry to hear that OP

Nobodies probably going to make you feel better for a while, so just take your time to be sad and don't do anyting you're going to regret for your family/friends sake, they love you and it would break their hearts if you did what you thought about doing.



Hope everything works out eventually, take care of yourself.
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rnshan
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#68
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#68
To OP

Have a mission of cutting your BF's balls and shoving up into his throat.

I hope this brought some smile your face.

Give some time - you will be better and stronger. Trust all these well wishers :tsr2:
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tinkerbellejess
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#69
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#69
That's horrible, I had a bf that I was with for years and he dumped me by text so I can understand how you feel about needing answers as to what went wrong, especially if as you say, it was so out of the blue. My ex just got cold feet I think, maybe this is what happened here?


But anyway, when you go through something like this, you realise how amazing your friends and family are. So take time to yourself and enjoy going out with your friends that you might have neglected when you were with him. Talk to your parents, I'm sure they've got a heartbreak story or two, but they'll have got over it and and it really does make you stronger. Go out for a girly meal, have a sleepover even if it's just you and your mum (and maybe sisters) watching girlie films, eating junk and having a whinge, cry if you want to as it'll get it out of your system and pamper yourself.

It is awful being dumped by someone you still love but this time will pass and you'll realise that you're a great person with everything to live for, with friends and family who love you whether you're single or attached.
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DiscoPirate
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#70
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#70
What does 'Potential trigger' mean before the thread title?
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***amy***
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#71
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#71
(Original post by Fleece)
Technically suicide is not moving on - it's not moving anywhere.

So yeah, don't do that.

I know what it's like to feel like that, trust me. It's worse when there's no explanation, but chances are, even if there was, you wouldn't accept it or be able to get your head around it right now. It's not a rational time.

I feel genuinely bad that you're having to go through this - it's not an easy thing at all. The only thing I can say is that it WILL get better. I'm not saying it's going to be quick, because it won't be, but you need to do your best to stay positive, even when you don't want to be.

You existed fine without him, so you can exist again without him.

Good luck

This is really good advice.
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this, but whatever you do, DON'T kill yourself, because it will get better eventually and suicide won't give you the chance to do that.
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farawayheartbeat
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#72
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#72
"the only guy that deserves you is the one who thinks he doesn't"

never give up. Show him what he's missing and what he's not good enough to have again. Prove to the arse how having him gone makes your life so much better, even though it doesn't feel like it.
Sit it out, don't be afraid to cry, force yourself to look at any positives - no matter how miniscule; and ignore any negatives. Eventually, you'll heal, and you'll be having the time of your life while karma's chopping off his balls.
He's not worth your life, so don't let him take it from you
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Anonymous #1
#73
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#73
(Original post by Sickminded)
**** his "*****" "ASS"--- he didnt even have the balls to break up with you in person. Guys like that dont have a ****,ing spine. Dont chase that lop..
he's a selfish little *****, dont end your life over him, he isnt worth the shyt he's made up of...
some guy broke up with my friend after 8yrs, just one day told her "we wont work"... he goes with some other girl then months later he gets back with my friend... he's a *****, zebras dont change stripes.....he's going to do it again and because he decided to say something smart to me in a text, i wont be there the next time he dumps her
8 years.
that is disgusting.
when i posted this thread this morning i was so weepy
right now i feel angry, so angry. the thoughts of suicide are still in my head, but everyones talk in here is making me think more about things. really is.
and yes .. you are right... eff his b***** ass.
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Anonymous #1
#74
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#74
its just sad. how can anybody be so cruel. some of my friends are suggesting hes cheated on me. which i would have found hard to believe until his recent nasty behaviour. even someone in this thread suggested ''another lover''
********** HIM.
HATE HIM.
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Anonymous #3
#75
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#75
*by the way are you from hk that's my first impression when I read your first post sorry if I am wrong*

OP I really hope things will get better for you it must be hard for you to take in talk to your friends/familes and we're all here to support you x
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rt
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#76
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#76
(Original post by Anonymous)
please anon because i dont want my sister to see this and she uses it

my boyfriend jsut broke up with me. after 5 years.
he didnt even tell me to my face. he let me find out from someone else.
i am on the brink, ive been going crazy all night. planning my suicide.
im posting here, hopefully to hear anything encouraging about getting past breakups of a big magnitude.
this wasnt a 6 month fling. we were close to getting engaged. families met each other, everything was perfect.
the breakup came out of nowhere- literally NOWHERE. i didnt do anything wrong, we didnt argue. the news was just given to me that its over between us.
he wont answer my calls or my txts. its over. but i need to know the reason.
i feel like my life is over. 5 years is so long, we were practically married. how do you move on without suicide. im planning on buying more panadol later. i feel so serious about suicide. the pain is too much to bear and there are no words to describe it and put it across to strangers on the internet.

i feel so lost and broken
STOP! Please don't think about death, it isn't fair on yourself.

The next few weeks are going to be really, really tough if you're unable to contact your ex to establish the reason of the breakup. Possibilly it was something he had done (a crime for example) or something happened in his family. You will get through them though, they're going to feel like really crappy days but believe me you will be regretting thinking like that in a month's time when you are able to move on.

I'd advise keep trying your best to contact him. 5 years of his life was complete with you so I'm sure he isn't going to delete you out of the blue without feeling sadness and regret.

You aren't going to be able to take your mind of this, people suggest finding other things to do. Well it'll help - go to the cinema or take a trip away from here if you're able to. Distractions will help.. it's ok hun, your bound to feel upset but don't take your life. There is so much that can happen good for you, you never know you and him might sort this.

Give me a msg if you need a chat.
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JB26
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#77
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#77
(Original post by Anonymous)
why are guys so horrible..
I think this is key to helping you infact... You need to realise that some guys AREN'T like that!

Clearly, this guy is horrible. Sounds like scum to me. Not worth your time ever.

What you need to think is, time heals all wounds like this. Eventually, you will find a guy who is NOT horrible! Trust me, there are a few of us out there!

For now, you definately need to be with a friend, or some family, vent your frustration with them, have a girls night in or something Try and take your mind of it as much as possible.

Whatever happens, as time goes by, you'll look back on this and you'll think "wow i can't believe i contemplated suicide for that *******!" and you'll find another guy, 10x better, and you'll wonder what you missed in the first place at all!

Stick with it, i promise you that things will be alright in the end!

Take care of yourself!
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Anonymous #1
#78
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#78
(Original post by Anonymous)
*by the way are you from hk that's my first impression when I read your first post sorry if I am wrong*

OP I really hope things will get better for you it must be hard for you to take in talk to your friends/familes and we're all here to support you x
hk? as in hong kong? no im not from there..
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. sav .
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#79
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"the only guy that deserves you is the one who thinks he doesn't" - truest sentiment I ever heard.

For the past 5 years your life has been consumed by (I assume) caring for him, looking out for him and doing things that are for the good of your relationship. In my view, thats generally how a relationship works, especially a Long distance one. The only thing on your mind is making the steps to be closer to each other.

now its time to look after number 1.

In my experience, a break up works in this order. The stages take longer / shorter depending on the length of relationship.

1. Feeling like utter poop. Crying yourself to sleep and putting the blame on yourself.
2. Anger. realising that actualy, you're a good person and they have ****ed you around. (Possibly wanting vengeance but i'd advise against it... its messy)
3. Trying to make positive steps towards being yourself again, realising all those things you loved that the other person supressed because they werent into them as much as you or you thought theyd laugh at you because of it / wouldnt like it. In my case, this was shopping. I realised that for a good year, i really hadnt been properly shopping because my ex thought it was boring. in summary, GETTING BACK TO YOU. Finding yourself.
4. Indifference toward the other person, and elevating yourself to confidence again. Treat yourself, love yourself and realise you're an independant with your own thoughts, feelings and direction in life. Get back on your feet.
5. Later on, in my experience, comes the appreciation of what you had. Realising you did enjoy it, you did have good times, but times have changed now and its finaly time to move on. From what i've ever seen - if you've ever been close to someone theres a bit of that which never leaves you. i'll be happy to admit I still have soft spots for all my exs - even the ones who did horrific things to me. You connected with that person on a level the majority of the world never could. So now its time to realise that things change, and whats done is done. Be proud that you gave it your all and it didnt work out. and so what? I try plenty of things that dont work... using the video, trying to figure out my camera phone... its not your fault if things dont work, its not your fault that some things dont work out. Be grateful to have ever felt feelings like that, and walk on.

Stay strong x
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. sav .
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#80
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To the OP again - hope you're getting on ok. xxx
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