GF doesnt wants sex, been together 2 years now Watch

Marcus55
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#61
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#61
If you really loved this girl, then sex can wait, right?
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Sanity Panda
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#62
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#62
(Original post by mr-breaker)
That's not a zero-sum situation, they can both co-exist.

In fact in my example they can co-exist, if you're that much of a pimp/mack/playa:ninja: , or are just plain sneaky!
We'll go with sibling and parents in that case.
Despite I find the idea of best friend(s) somewhat odd. I don't know whether I'm just misunderstanding the notion of best however.

Reasoning?
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LaurenFah
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#63
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(Original post by Marcus55)
If you really loved this girl, then sex can wait, right?
I somewhat disagree.

You can love someone, but feel sexually unsatisfied in a relationship and therefore unhappy in it.
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qwertyytrewqm
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#64
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(Original post by Desperate Prayer)
"You will wait another year"?
I know I regret saying that. When you read it it sounds so bad! My point is I just dont know how much longer I can wait. I am going into my last year at uni. Some of my friends have had a very different (sexual!) experience to me thoughout uni. Im not the kind of guy that would sleep around though, not at all. Just want a girl to be in love with.
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Introvert36
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#65
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She's probably insecure. It's no bad thing waiting - I'm sure you'll feel it's been worth the wait when you actually do it! And sex is a bit overated too, you're not missing out too much.
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tropicalcoconuts3
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#66
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Reading some more comments, I think this relationship is a bit unequal, firstly, as Desperate Prayer pointed out maybe she doesn't feel enough for you to sleep with you, and judging by the way you talk about loving her, you have more feelings for her than she does for you. This might be a horrible truth or I might be completely off track here seeing as I don't know enough about either of you. But she seems to be avoiding any conversation about sex, and in a relationship of 2 years you should be able to discuss these things openly, especially as it seems to affect you. There seems to be some kind of barrier between you two, and that is intimacy. Without it, you two are merely best friends. You need to sit her down and say, look I'm not pressuring you into anything but we need to talk about this, I want you to be honest etc.
Because as you mentioned earlier, she doesn't give you an answer or gives you false hope. You are adults, and when I read this thread I just seem to imagine a 16 year old girl or something! So thats 2 weaknesses of your relationship- inequality of feelings, and not being able to talk to eachother (open-ness)
Aside from the sex, do you share the same vision of a future together? Have you even talked about a future together?
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Sanity Panda
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#67
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(Original post by mr-breaker)
What is it about her that you love so much you were (are) willing to masturbate your teenage/young adult years away?

Maybe it's because I haven't been in a relationship where I've had to wait long for sex, so please help me out here!
It's just your typical relationship. It's like asking why people would go through LDRs just to stay together.

If you were everything she wanted, she would have already had sex with you...............discuss.
Certainly not true.
Values, culture, fear can all play factors in here.
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mr-breaker
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#68
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(Original post by Sanity Panda)
We'll go with sibling and parents in that case.
Despite I find the idea of best friend(s) somewhat odd. I don't know whether I'm just misunderstanding the notion of best however.

Reasoning?
I'm confused...........are you asking about a better version of family coming along now?
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tropicalcoconuts3
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#69
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(Original post by Introvert36)
sex is a bit overated too, you're not missing out too much.
erm, no it's not. I'm sure if you had sex with someone you are completely turned on by, someone you love so much you would say different, and the OP seems to have this feeling about his girlfriend so I'm sure it won't be so overrated for him!
Also, sounds like you haven't had good sex lol
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DancinBallerina
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#70
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Hmm 2yrs is a long time, but meh if she aint ready - she aint ready. Just enjoy each others company and etc.
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Sanity Panda
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#71
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(Original post by tropicalcoconuts3)
Aside from the sex, do you share the same vision of a future together? Have you even talked about a future together?
That's such a brilliant idea!
It'd give indications...

Worst scenario: You've fallen into the friend zone within the relationship :p:
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Calumcalum
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#72
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If you really love her, wait until she's ready. Will probably only make it more special
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JuLz_FeRn
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#73
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(Original post by mr-breaker)
What is it about her that you love so much you were (are) willing to masturbate your teenage/young adult years away?

Maybe it's because I haven't been in a relationship where I've had to wait long for sex, so please help me out here!



You do realise she's slowrolling you here? I was gonna say something here, but something better's just been posted:



If you were everything she wanted, she would have already had sex with you...............discuss.
why is there this necessity to HAVE to have sex throughout your teenage years? I don't understand the need for it. Ok it's pleasurable yeah but it's SO overly hyped it's unbelievable.
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Sanity Panda
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#74
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(Original post by mr-breaker)
I'm confused...........are you asking about a better version of family coming along now?
It's what I had intended originally but I realised that not everybody likes their parents so I used best friend instead.

I know such a scenario is extremely unlikely. We'd have to resort to aliens, cloning or step-mother but... it's as likely as finding two exact equal people.

Why wouldn't you trade your mother in? Why can't those values be applied to other people?

If you had been with someone for 10 Years, but there was a problem where they were sick. A person comes along with exactly the same traits, would you leave the original person?

You could argue that 10 years is different to 6 months, but... one can fall in love with another in a few months. It's certainly not impossible.
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AmberB
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#75
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Hmm to be honest I can see where you're coming from. If that were me and I had a boyfriend who said he wanted to wait (even after two years) I'd get very frustrated. So I don't blame you! I'd find a few months hard enough.
I think sex is one of the most important things in a relationship. If there was no sex- it'd be more like a friendship with the ocassional kisses and cuddles. Of course there's other things that are important but part of being in a relationship is to have sex with that person. But that's just my opinion.
I'd really talk to you're girlfriend about it, ask her to explain exactly why she's not ready even after all that time, say how you feel about it and make her realise that you want to as a sign of your love for her not just to 'get in her knickers' as a lot of guys tend to see it. It's obvious that you love her from the amount of time you've been with her.
All the people saying "wait until she's ready" is ok in theory, but it's better said than done. I think you've been patient enough to stay with her for that long with no sex. I certainly don't think I could handle it.
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mr-breaker
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#76
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(Original post by Sanity Panda)
It's what I had intended originally but I realised that not everybody likes their parents so I used best friend instead.

I know such a scenario is extremely unlikely. We'd have to resort to aliens, cloning or step-mother but... it's as likely as finding two exact equal people.
My example was PURELY hypothetical, just to get the OP to think outside his normal comfort zone, in an effort to get him to approach his problem from another angle.........

If you had been with someone for 10 Years, but there was a problem where they were sick. A person comes along with exactly the same traits, would you leave the original person?
OOH......MORAL DILEMMA!!!!

Now that's a thinker...........

I like to believe that if I've been with a woman for ten years, I ain't looking elsewhere, because she's that good.

If she gets sick and dies, I'm gonna have to be strong, and hold it together for the kids.

Back to our original problem

If you were the OP, and your girl had stonewalled you for sex for 2 (TWO) years, what would you do?
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tropicalcoconuts3
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#77
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If my boyfriend banned me from his penis 4 2 years...
I would threaten him until he gave in lol seriously though I think our relationship would deteriorate somewhat so I would have to leave him. Sex is important to me.
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mr-breaker
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#78
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(Original post by JuLz_FeRn)
why is there this necessity to HAVE to have sex throughout your teenage years? I don't understand the need for it. Ok it's pleasurable yeah but it's SO overly hyped it's unbelievable.
Where did all these life nits come from?

Methinks the lady doth protests too much!

There is no NEED as such, but it's essentially free, feels (tastes:p:) good, and is totally natural, so why not?

It's a case of get the awkwardness of early sex outta the way, or have your adult years stunted because of fear..........'cause that's all it is.

If you were a decent poker player and were in Vegas right now would you question the hype surrounding the World Series of Poker? Or just enjoy it.....

If you liked to drive fast and lived in Germany, would you question the right to drive as fast as you want on your average autobahn? Or just enjoy it........
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Angrybanana
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#79
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I'm amazed how many people here are telling the guy to wait until she's ready. The guy has been waiting for her for 2 years. I'm not suggesting he takes her by force or anything but if you really love and fancy someone it's normally a struggle to keep your hands off them. It sounds like she doesn't want to lose her virginity to him for whatever reason, and if she won't even discuss it with him then it's probably time to move on. It seems like she doesn't really care too much about his needs even though he's trying so hard to meet hers.
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tropicalcoconuts3
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#80
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(Original post by Angrybanana)
I'm amazed how many people here are telling the guy to wait until she's ready. The guy has been waiting for her for 2 years. I'm not suggesting he takes her by force or anything but if you really love and fancy someone it's normally a struggle to keep your hands off them. It sounds like she doesn't want to lose her virginity to him for whatever reason, and if she won't even discuss it with him then it's probably time to move on. It seems like she doesn't really care too much about his needs even though he's trying so hard to meet hers.
Exactly what I was trying to say put more bluntly! Completely agree.
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