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Have to kiss a guy in a play.. boyfriend not happy watch

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    tell him to grow up. You can't get everything you want in life.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I can't believe the number of people saying I shouldn't do it - I really wasn't expecting that. Guys, would you not play in a big important football match or something if your girlfriend didn't like it?! It's really important to me especially as it's really hard at my uni to get into acting/ plays if you're not doing a drama degree so I felt really honoured to get it. I wasn't expecting to have to kiss someone but it's not even really a love scene, just a quick kiss.. But obviously I love my boyfriend and don't want to hurt him but I can't believe this will be the last time this will ever happen if I do more acting. TV and screen kisses are WAY more realistic anyway and those actors often have bfs/ gfs/ husbands/ wives..

    I don't really understand why me choosing a play over his insecurity means I should question whether we should be together! Argh this has made me even more worried about the whole thing

    Personally I couldn't do it. Somewhat paradoxically, I'm too weak to ever be able to hurt my partner like that. I'm sure the logical, right thing to do, is to of course stay in the play. And i'm sure your boyfriend will get over it. This on its own isnt going to ruin your relationship if it is strong as it is. In time he may come to accept it. As a non-actor he may just not see what it is, be able to appreciate that it's just that. Time is a good healer and time gives people a chance to properly evaluate situations.

    But in the present, you need to decide whether you're able to hurt your partner, because he will be hurt, and thats never going to be easier for either of you. Even if its for the best.
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    (Original post by cowsgoquack)
    Why. It's not as if it's a rational description to be jealous and upset. Why would insulting reasoning make them change this mindset?
    She's acting in a play, it's not real!!!!!

    It's not as if it's a rational description to be jealous and upset - this doesn't even make sense?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What the title says. I'm in a play at uni next term and I have to kiss a guy in it - my boyfriend is really uncomfortable about it. I said it obviously doesn't mean anything but he said it'll hurt him to watch me making it look real, plus what if I enjoy it? I tried to explain that kissing someone for a second in front of a massive audience won't be enjoyable but that didn't help. I suggested he doesn't come and watch, I get shy acting in front of people I know anyway, but he wants to come every night. :rolleyes:

    He knows it's not my fault and that he's being silly, but he has jealousy issues anyway and this is just "one more thing."

    I don't really know what to do or what to say. Help??
    My boyfriend had to kiss my best friend in a play. Yeah it's a little awkward to watch but I trust them both. He needs to get over it and realise it's just acting.
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    (Original post by mackeroo)
    She's acting in a play, it's not real!!!!!

    It's not as if it's a rational description *to be jealous and upset - this doesn't even make sense?
    decision*

    It's easy to see its nothing from a 3rd person perspective.

    strange typo, thats what you get for doing an essay at the same time as typing a psot
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Guys, would you not play in a big important football match or something if your girlfriend didn't like it?!
    I honestly wouldn't. But for her to demand that is much more unreasonable than what your boyfriend is saying.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't really understand why me choosing a play over his insecurity means I should question whether we should be together! Argh this has made me even more worried about the whole thing
    It's more about the fact you KNOW this will HURT him badly but you're going to do it anyway...that's just damn mean - regardless of whether you're right or wrong.
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    I'd dump your ass.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know aah I'm even less sure what to do now!

    I can't believe the number of people saying I shouldn't do it - I really wasn't expecting that. Guys, would you not play in a big important football match or something if your girlfriend didn't like it?!
    This is the bit you don't seem to get. A football match has nothing to do with your relationship. Kissing is something (i assume) you only do with each other, and thus is part of your relationship. In your boyfriend's eyes, you are taking something relationshippy between the two of you and bringing it in somewhere else, if that makes sense.
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    don't do it ffs
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    If it's just a quick kiss not part of a love scene would there be a problem doing a peck on the cheek? I thought it was full pretend snogging you were gonna have to do. I say just decide what means more to you. I see kissing as being personal and between you and the person you're with, whether it 'means anything' or not. If two people in a relationship don't feel that way then great, good for them, but he clearly does so you'll have to decide what your priority is at this point. Personally I wouldn't be happy with my bf doing it and wouldn't do it to him.
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    put your boyfriends number into the Mr T snickers ad to the right of the quick reply box and send him some nuts
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    I think all of the people who are telling him to 'grow up' are misguided.

    For some people (including myself) kissing someone is something very private and intimate. Regardless of whether it's 'for real' or not I can see how it would be difficult for your boyfriend.

    If he sees kissing you as something only the two of you should do and something special then why wouldn't he have a problem with it?
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    Tell him to kiss the guy as well so he knows its meaningless?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Guys, would you not play in a big important football match or something if your girlfriend didn't like it?! It's really important to me especially as it's really hard at my uni to get into acting/ plays if you're not doing a drama degree so I felt really honoured to get it. I wasn't expecting to have to kiss someone but it's not even really a love scene, just a quick kiss.. But obviously I love my boyfriend and don't want to hurt him but I can't believe this will be the last time this will ever happen if I do more acting. TV and screen kisses are WAY more realistic anyway and those actors often have bfs/ gfs/ husbands/ wives..
    I'm not a guy, but if my boyfriend really didn't want me to do something, I wouldn't do it. If it was something I really wanted to do I trust my boyfriend would take that into account, and after taking that into account he still didn't want me to do it then I'd figure he must feel strongly about it, and so I wouldn't do it.

    Personally, I would be uncomfortable having my boyfriend kiss someone else in a play. However, if he really wanted to do it I would try and get over it, and I know for certain I wouldn't want to go and watch the play.

    I would suggest you have a good talk to him about it, see if you can strike up any sort of deal such as you doing it but him not watching, and if not, then you'll just have to decide which is more important to you - boyfriend or the play.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know aah I'm even less sure what to do now!



    I really wouldn't care.. it's acting. It's a play. Unless it was his ex or someone he'd always really fancied then what's the problem? Stage kisses always look really awkward and no one wants to do them..

    I can't believe the number of people saying I shouldn't do it - I really wasn't expecting that. Guys, would you not play in a big important football match or something if your girlfriend didn't like it?! It's really important to me especially as it's really hard at my uni to get into acting/ plays if you're not doing a drama degree so I felt really honoured to get it. I wasn't expecting to have to kiss someone but it's not even really a love scene, just a quick kiss.. But obviously I love my boyfriend and don't want to hurt him but I can't believe this will be the last time this will ever happen if I do more acting. TV and screen kisses are WAY more realistic anyway and those actors often have bfs/ gfs/ husbands/ wives..

    I don't really understand why me choosing a play over his insecurity means I should question whether we should be together! Argh this has made me even more worried about the whole thing
    IF she really really didn't like it then yes, especially if it was recreational as your play is. You always make sacrifices for someone you like, and the rationality of their desires has nothing to do with it in the end. If my girlfriend had an insane fear of zoos I wouldn't take her :confused:
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    (Original post by FadedJade)
    This is the bit you don't seem to get. A football match has nothing to do with your relationship. Kissing is something (i assume) you only do with each other, and thus is part of your relationship. In your boyfriend's eyes, you are taking something relationshippy between the two of you and bringing it in somewhere else, if that makes sense.
    No I get it, but there are also a lot of people on this thread saying it's ridiculous. I have lots and lots of friends who are actors and do dramas and most of them have to kiss someone at some point, but I've never heard of anybody's boyfriend or girlfriend having an issue with it?! I'm pretty if I said to the director "er can I kiss him on the cheek cos my boyfriend will have an issue" she would think I/ he was mad.

    I was trying to use the football analogy of something a guy might really care about (using my bf as a type). Point is yes, it's recreational..


    (Original post by manderlay in flames)
    IF she really really didn't like it then yes, especially if it was recreational as your play is. You always make sacrifices for someone you like, and the rationality of their desires has nothing to do with it in the end. If my girlfriend had an insane fear of zoos I wouldn't take her
    but not completely. I have been auditioning non-stop to get a part because of the drama degree issue I mentioned earlier, the director will never cast me again if I drop out. It means a huge amount to me, my boyfriend knows this so I think he's being selfish.

    Also it's the only extra-curricular thing I am good enough to do - my head tutor will have another rant at me if I turn up to my next end of term report thing and STILL am not involved in anything at uni besides socialising and work. My boyfriend does sport all the time and gets credit for it, so it seems unfair that the one thing I'm good enough to do I'm not 'allowed' to. :mad: /rant
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    It's part of the role, no big deal. Just do it and enjoy it if you can. Being jealous of that is pathetic.
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    please be othello!! that would be interesting!
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    (Original post by big-boss-91)
    please be othello!! that would be interesting!
    haha sadly not...
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    (Original post by kat2pult)
    Can you just pretend to kiss?
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What's more important to you, your boyfriends feelings or giving a good performance? You make the choice.
    If the OP is doing something such like a Drama degree, then pretending isn't really a possibility. And the second point is likewise, can't really make that decision when its a graded performance.
 
 
 
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