Turn on thread page Beta

Your view on marriage?? watch

Announcements
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    if you belive that divorce is not an option then u wont have to worry about that =)u can always work things out and get marriage counselling and also make sure u know ur partner inside out before getting married and realising it was a mistake
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by fox_the_fix)
    Couples who marry stay together longer because they are contractually obliged. Have two sets of partners, both relationships are inevitable doomed one couple is married and the other is not. The latter would move on quicker and easier than the former. So marriage in affect is just a method of constraining your real desires - If this relationship is not working marriage will still keep the relationship going despite the fact neither individuals wants it to. Therefore i think getting married for the sake of having children is completely wrong. Never ever ever get married or 'stay together' for the children.
    No I disagree. I think if you are going to have children, both parents should 'stick around' and look after them. Children need both parents and although in many cases I am sure it is more beneficial for the parents to separate, I think couples should stay together for the children if at all possible. I don't agree that marriage is a tool for 'constraining your real desires' - I think it simply cements a relationship and adds greater validity to it. This makes couples question harder the decision to separate as opposed to co-habiting couples, where there is no binding agreement between the persons involved.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    it's nice for some but not necessary. It's more of a religious/tradition thing.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Olivia_Lightbulb)
    No I disagree. I think if you are going to have children, both parents should 'stick around' and look after them. Children need both parents and although in many cases I am sure it is more beneficial for the parents to separate, I think couples should stay together for the children if at all possible. I don't agree that marriage is a tool for 'constraining your real desires' - I think it simply cements a relationship and adds greater validity to it. This makes couples question harder the decision to separate as opposed to co-habiting couples, where there is no binding agreement between the persons involved.
    Can i clarify, you're saying a couple should stay together for the kids? That is a recipe for disaster and i am dumbfounded that someone actually thinks that is the right way to handle things.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Muslims usually have arranged marriages so i think i can wait till then as i wont know nothing about the girl im going to marry, but yeh why not nobody in my families ever had a divorce and they ALL had arranged marriages.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    I never ever ever wanted to get married when I was younger, as no person in my family has stayed together post-marriage. However my boyfriend has changed my mind; I believe in true love, so why not try marriage?

    I also think smart girls get married, or know how to protect themselves otherwise. If you just cohabit with someone and you pay something towards the mortgage/rent, get yourself a lawyer quicktime!
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by fox_the_fix)
    Can i clarify, you're saying a couple should stay together for the kids? That is a recipe for disaster and i am dumbfounded that someone actually thinks that is the right way to handle things.
    I think having two parents is the most beneficial environment to raise children. Unless there is a very serious reason not to, yes I think parents should try to stay together for the benefit of their children.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Olivia_Lightbulb)
    I think having two parents is the most beneficial environment to raise children. Unless there is a very serious reason not to, yes I think parents should try to stay together for the benefit of their children.
    Are you insane?!

    As a child whose parents tried to stay together for 3 years, and then eventually split up, I feel I have benefitted so much from having separated parents.
    Not only were the 3 years they tried to make it work the worst ever; argument after argument...
    But I also feel that being raised by 1 parent but having frequent access to the other is ideal, in many ways. For example I know both my parents incredibly well, much better than alot of my friends know their parents. I get to spend quality time with them separately, thus making our relationship more solid.

    I wouldn't have wanted anything different.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by fox_the_fix)
    Couples who marry stay together longer because they are contractually obliged. Have two sets of partners, both relationships are inevitable doomed one couple is married and the other is not. The latter would move on quicker and easier than the former. So marriage in affect is just a method of constraining your real desires - If this relationship is not working marriage will still keep the relationship going despite the fact neither individuals wants it to. Therefore i think getting married for the sake of having children is completely wrong. Never ever ever get married or 'stay together' for the children.
    i totally agree here whats to say you think youre marrying the one then down the line realise youve made a big mistake not so easy to get out of!

    my mate has been engaged several times and the one hes with now he wanted to book a wedding after 2 months tell me thats a good idea i dont
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    thanks thanks!!
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    I think a wedding is actually a massive waste of time/money. I can appreciate that people say it's a celebration of love between 2 people, but I don't think you need a ceremony to show that.

    If you trust and love your partner, why must you force a ring on their finger to stop them from straying? It's not like you can't do loads of things a married couple can do.

    Plus, if it all goes wrong, there's no need to go through the stages and stresses of getting a divorce.

    If people who really know you (for these are the people who only really matter) your love for each other is probably noticeable already.

    The only pro is that it saves you money with the government, which is never a good thing to use as motivation.
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    Well, I'm getting married in August, and really looking forward to it. We've just got the keys to our second place together. Really looking forward to the whole thing really! :-D
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I always thought it was silly. If you're at the point in a relationship where you would want to get married, surely you trust each other enough to not have that safety net. Then spend the money on a nice long holiday instead of one party.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    A lot of people here think that marriage makes thing complicated or go down-hill, but surely that's more to do with you and your partner than a ring and a piece of paper?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Not sure, I guess i'd like to get married one day, but I wouldn't want a marriage like my parents. My dad is very controlling and what he says, goes. He takes care of the finance and my mum has to ask him for money (even though she's the only one working at the moment..!) and has generally just been really rocky. I dunno, I wouldn't want my independence taken away from me.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 12, 2009
Poll
Who is most responsible for your success at university

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.