Depression Society MkII Watch

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diamonddust
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#8261
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#8261
Hugs to everyone. :hugs:

I got home from college so exhausted and fell asleep, I just woke up this second and I plan on going straight to bed again, I really don't see the point of getting up even though I can smell dinner and it's making my stomach pang. I won't be able to eat anyway and if i'm honest, I feel better when I don't. I just want to disappear.
I don't even feel like a failiure for staying in bed or weak or anything, I'm so tired of everything I don't care anymore. I think the utter absence of hope is worse than anything. You can carry on through almost any problem if you have hope things will get better but when you have no hope... what's the point?

hannah_dru- Yeah. I keep making the mistake of thinking I'm better if I have two days where I don't feel awful and everything comes back worse than before and I realise I was lying to myself. I hope things become less overwhelming for you.:hugs:
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special1ne
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#8262
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(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
Yep. Like this last weekend, I'd been doing fine (relatively) since Feb but it all just nose dived Friday night. What's up?

I've got a headache and I feel sick today, still feeling like I'm a rag doll that my friends pick up and discard when they feel like.
Tell me about it. The feeling, even the fact, that "friends" toss me around sometimes is a bad one indeed; and it's hard to speak up or whatever that weird 'standing up for yourself' idea is in practice.
Then again, saying things they don't want to hear will push them away.
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kiss_me_now9
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#8263
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(Original post by special1ne)
Tell me about it. The feeling, even the fact, that "friends" toss me around sometimes is a bad one indeed; and it's hard to speak up or whatever that weird 'standing up for yourself' idea is in practice.
Then again, saying things they don't want to hear will push them away.
Mmhmm. How am I meant to say to my friend who I've known for years 'hi, btw I don't like how you've changed or how you're treating so please stop ignoring me' without sounding selfish, clingy or just plain wierd?

Social convention sucks.
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special1ne
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(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
Mmhmm. How am I meant to say to my friend who I've known for years 'hi, btw I don't like how you've changed or how you're treating so please stop ignoring me' without sounding selfish, clingy or just plain wierd?

Social convention sucks.
You know what, I tried the same thing with one guy who was my friend at college then started being rude and all sorts to me, for no apparent reason (to the point that he ignores me when I speak to him face to face). And yeah social convention or socialising even is so much harder than I thought. I say one thing, then I realise that it came out the wrong way. It's like I can't communicate properly - well, I know I can't communicate well if not properly.

And diamonddust I advise you have some dinner, you might feel better once you've got some food. THEN you can go and sleep.And so long as certain people are around you ther is hope that things will turn around, even if it is a little bit.
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hannah_dru
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#8265
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(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
Yep. Like this last weekend, I'd been doing fine (relatively) since Feb but it all just nose dived Friday night. What's up? :hugs:

I've got a headache and I feel sick today, still feeling like I'm a rag doll that my friends pick up and discard when they feel like.
:hugs: I'm feeling a bit better now I just watched a film. I've had a really rough day- a guy, myself and a friend are working with on a group project and the guy didn't turn up today so we couldn't do anything as he has the relevant files. It's due in next Fri and it messed up my day a lot.

I'm worried about another project and that I'll have to do it again and it's due in next Fri too.

I've just had a massive gas and electric bill and even though my radiator has been off in my room they've decided I still have to pay as much as they do.

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling like that- I feel like that too sometimes, especially with my housemates. Are they messing you about a lot?

EDIT: Just noticed other posts.

♥ you too Vikki

Special1one- I feel like I'm getting that way sometimes. I really want a punch bag cos I always feel like I'd feel better if I had a go on that.
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special1ne
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(Original post by sian_bedford)
Sorry for leaving suddenly last night guys. I just fell sleep
I am still really down, have had another terrible day.
Hope you guys feel better than I do
Hi Sian I'm Arnold btw, and you're here now so it's alright. What's up? You can PM me if you like, as can anyone else.
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special1ne
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#8267
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(Original post by sian_bedford)
Pretty much the same rubbish feeling as yesterday. See earlier posts. A tough day at college and a tough evening at home. My family are all so suspicious of anything I do, even if it is to borrow my passport to fill out a stupid form.
I read your earlier posts and I've gottasay, I'm with you on possibly being in the 0.1% along with Hitler in terms of thoughts and stuff (I know it's not helping but I'm more or less on your wavelength).
Do your friends make you feel that you belong and stuff? They should help you out too. And your family are being overprotective. It may sound a bit fast but how about a chat with them, and how you should get more freedom/choice.

Gosh I sound like a doctor now!! Sorry if I waffled on, but I'm here
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diamonddust
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#8268
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(Original post by sian_bedford)
Pretty much the same rubbish feeling as yesterday. See earlier posts. A tough day at college and a tough evening at home. My family are all so suspicious of anything I do, even if it is to borrow my passport to fill out a stupid form. :mad:
:hugs:
I'm sorry. I really hope things start looking up for you.


Why does everything seem so hard? I don't even know what makes me human. I haven't got it whatever it is. I just exist. I'm just a stupid, pathetic idiot being overdramatic and dumb and I have to be like everyone else and stop being stupid and live. But I don't know if I can.
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special1ne
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#8269
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Diamonddust, what makes you human is the fact that you have emotions and feelings, for yourself and others, otherwise how would you be able to feel down and stuff?

And what reason do they have of stopping you going uni next year Sian?
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special1ne
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Oh and sorry for the late replies Sian. When you say your 10-year-old brother, does he keep an eye on you?
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special1ne
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Again, I'm sorry about the late replies - my internet is bad. And no I think it's just that you don't know how to handle the feelings you feel at the moment. You know how to feel emotions, so you can't hate being human.
Sometimes I feel like that too.
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special1ne
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#8272
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#8272
I'm off to bed Sian, talk tomorrow night xx
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diamonddust
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#8273
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#8273
Can't sleep
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hannah_dru
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#8274
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#8274
(Original post by diamonddust)
Can't sleep
Had the same problem :hugs:

I'm still feeling naff today which is a pretty long relapse for me. If it keeps on I'm gonna go home in a few days. I'm really worried about this project this afternoon and I just can't live in this house anymore. I'm fed up of them all ganging up on me, treating me like **** and making me feel like I don't belong here.
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kiss_me_now9
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#8275
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#8275
I have the opposite problem, I'm sleeping 14/15 hours again :sad: I start my new job next Tuesday and I need a normal sleep pattern!
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diamonddust
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(Original post by hannah_dru)
Had the same problem :hugs:

I'm still feeling naff today which is a pretty long relapse for me. If it keeps on I'm gonna go home in a few days. I'm really worried about this project this afternoon and I just can't live in this house anymore. I'm fed up of them all ganging up on me, treating me like **** and making me feel like I don't belong here.
Grrr... I hate people like that. :mad:
I know it's hard but try not to let them affect you, they're just horrible idiots who aren't worth your time.
Is your project an important one? Could you speak to your tutor or whoever and get them to extend the deadline? I've decided health is more important than exams or education or whatever. You can always take a break from uni or college but you can't take a break from a mental breakdown.
And did you fall asleep at all?
I hope tonight will be better for you. :hugs:

I feel crappy right now and the worse thing is it's all self induced. I fell asleep half an hour before I was meant to wake up so as a result: I overslept, missed a presentation type thing I was meant to give to year 7s at the secondary school next to me so the person I was meant to do it with is going to hate me, waited about 15 mins for a bus when I was already late and it takes half an hour to get to college, realised I'd missed the only lesson it was worth going in for, felt like I was going to collaspe and decided to go home. Now I'm holed up in my room because I'm scared my mum will come home early and scream at me. I feel like I'm making everything worse for myself by not going to college and staying in bed but I honestly would go in if it wasn't so pointless. I know I'm going to fail and nothing I do now is going to help. I mean I could fail a little less... but a fail is still a fail. Still, I'm gonna try to revise a bit, I've just realised I have to hand in so much work that I forgot to do. I just wish I could take it in.

Sorry for the rant.
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hannah_dru
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#8277
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(Original post by diamonddust)
Grrr... I hate people like that. :mad:
I know it's hard but try not to let them affect you, they're just horrible idiots who aren't worth your time.
Is your project an important one? Could you speak to your tutor or whoever and get them to extend the deadline? I've decided health is more important than exams or education or whatever. You can always take a break from uni or college but you can't take a break from a mental breakdown.
And did you fall asleep at all?
I hope tonight will be better for you. :hugs:

I feel crappy right now and the worse thing is it's all self induced. I fell asleep half an hour before I was meant to wake up so as a result: I overslept, missed a presentation type thing I was meant to give to year 7s at the secondary school next to me so the person I was meant to do it with is going to hate me, waited about 15 mins for a bus when I was already late and it takes half an hour to get to college, realised I'd missed the only lesson it was worth going in for, felt like I was going to collaspe and decided to go home. Now I'm holed up in my room because I'm scared my mum will come home early and scream at me. I feel like I'm making everything worse for myself by not going to college and staying in bed but I honestly would go in if it wasn't so pointless. I know I'm going to fail and nothing I do now is going to help. I mean I could fail a little less... but a fail is still a fail. Still, I'm gonna try to revise a bit, I've just realised I have to hand in so much work that I forgot to do. I just wish I could take it in.

Sorry for the rant.
I'm hoping I'll be able to let it all go soon cos I've learnt from having depression that I usually build things up for a few days and let them go. At worst I'd need to miss a few lectures and go home to talk things over with my ex counsellor.

I'm gonna speak to her this afternoon and if she asks me to re-do it I'll ask for an extension if it's allowed with the exams office. As for the other one, I've told the tutor and I'm gonna see if I can sort this guy out whose not co-operating.

I did fall asleep but not until 4am I think cos I was too stressed. At least I got some I suppose.

:hugs: That sounds really overwhelming and I'd probably be really stressed if that happened to me. Can you re-do the presentation? I'm also holed up in my room away from my housemates because I know they'll be funny with me and I can't be bothered to speak to them (if they're in, I haven't got a clue.) I know exactly how you feel- when I did my A Levels it got so pointless for me and I knew I was gonna fail so I either didn't go in or went in and ended up crying in the toilets, in a lesson, or going home. Try and give yourself a break from it and come back to it in small chunks.

Hope tonight is better for you too
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death.drop
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#8278
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#8278
I adopted some gerbils on sunday, so suicide won't be an option until they die. That's the theory anyway.
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Bangers+Mash
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#8279
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#8279
I need someone to talk to.
I have just lost all of my motivation to get out of this.
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jonathan122
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#8280
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#8280
(Original post by Bangers+Mash)
I need someone to talk to.
I have just lost all of my motivation to get out of this.
Hey, what's up? :hugs:
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