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    (Original post by rmhumphries)
    long rant

    TLG: I am not on DLA currently, I applied back in October/November last year, and I have been waiting since around June for my appeal to be heard? Me and Wolf think I have a decent chance of being awarded lowest rate in both categories (based on what they have said I don't suffer from / what symptoms I don't have when I do), but it could be months before this is heard ><

    I think that the reasons why I was put on the lowest support rung with the CMHT (they have retained me, but only having a meeting with a nurse on a yearly basis) are mainly based around:
    - I keep myself quite controlled, even when not feeling good. I don't have issues making eye contact, and can often talk about things that are upsetting (such as stuff we can't talk about here) without my body language showing I am upset. I *did* raise this, but it was ignored, as part of the reason why I was assessed as I was was due to having good body language and communication. Even at the end of the appointment, where I was only just stopping myself crying (I managed to hold out until I got to my car), then the assessor didn't seem to pick up by himself that I was upset.
    - Building on the above, at the end of the appointment, when the assessor first said he didn't think I was severe enough to be referred to a psychiatrist or anyone else, he did ask if that was ok, or if I had any questions, but this assessment had upset me to the point where I just wanted to get out of there. I had this problem before sometimes with my old psychiatrist, but in the rare cases where I was able to continue communicating with the psych, I either had Wolfy there to both help me defend my point and comfort me (so I didn't feel like I was the only one who thinks there is anything wrong with me) or as I knew him better, I was slightly more prepared for him to say things like that.
    - There were points during the appointment where I should have said more on an issue, but the problem was that we moved onto something else, and I didn't really know how to take the issue backwards.

    This is not the first time my problems have been trivialised by medical professionals. Even if we ignore the hassle with DWP (which is also very stressful and can be upsetting), then I don't think that any of my medical professionals have thought I am as bad as I can I am. Ok, so this time I am not actively self-destructive, however I have problems communicating how I feel with people (which I did bring up), I have problems doing meaningful activities (which I brought up), and I have worries about my current medication if I get a job (which I brought up). Yet, my GP is not going to do anything about my medication, and I don't think there is any other (NHS at least) services. Even my problem with feeling sick at nights, which has been getting worse (which I brought up), I have very little which I can do, as any meds my GP thought of clash with my quetiapine. I was told to go and ask in the pharmacy, but OTC drugs are likely to be relatively expensive - and if my GP couldn't think of any drugs which don't clash with my current drugs, will a pharmacist be able to?
    Have you got a solicitor to help with your challenge against the DWP and the CMHT decisions? It really helped me get the full access to the services and support to which I am legally entitled.

    If you haven't, then consider the following:
    When I received all the substantial evidence the state had against me (massive pile of papers) I went to the library to confirm if they had acted lawfully (from my interpretation of the legislation). I then typed a lengthy witness statement, directly referencing the law and in some cases quoting the applicable legislation, guidance and codes. Every time I found evidence that they acted incorrectly I presented the appropriate legal argument. It ended up over 20 pages long if memory serves me right. I then delivered my statement to the solicitor and it was used, in it's entirety to support my case and it ensures all the little things that add up to make life so difficult are seen by the judge who is then, obligated to pay due regard to it. It also meant that when it came to the case being heard, those thing that me cry, paranoid, anxious and cause distress are already known and out in the open. Less painful. The judge was very sensitive and tactful though.

    It really helped me. It may help you too.
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    (Original post by Kindred)
    I am planning to but I can't bring myself to cos i'm too nervous about wording it badly or making a bad impression.
    Just send something like this:

    Good {Morning/Afternoon/Evening},

    I am sorry, but I have missed a few of your lectures due to some on-going health problems. {I am happy to supply evidence to the school office of these problems if needed.(Add this if you have a note from your GP or similar which you can provide}

    Would it please be possible to get some detailed notes for lectures {n,m,o}?

    Thanks in advance for your help,
    {name}
    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    Oh i am
    Spoiler:
    Show
    i just spent about 5 mins scratching at rorys boxers so i didnt hurt him or myself. Currently sat thinking how much of a **** up i currently am :cry2:



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    You *didn't* hurt him or yourself though. You are not a **** up :hugs:
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Yay for no hospital :hugs:

    Tiz getting colder and colder in London. Time to start wearing my new fluffy penguin head hat
    Definitely getting colder, first noticed it yesterday afternoon :sadnod:.

    ................................ ................................

    Been back home since yesterday evening, earlier I was reminded of why moving out was important for me :sad:. But apart from that I've been feeling ok, really wanted to go back but I didn't, definitely will go tomorrow
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    (Original post by rmhumphries)
    Just send something like this:
    Thanks!! I may use that. Think i'll leave it till tomorrow when i'm hopefully feeling a tad more up to it though.
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    (Original post by Kindred)
    Thanks!! I may use that. Think i'll leave it till tomorrow when i'm hopefully feeling a tad more up to it though.
    It is the basic e-mail I used when I needed some extra help from lecturers - as long as you have some medical evidence you will be fine.
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    (Original post by rmhumphries)
    reply

    You *didn't* hurt him or yourself though. You are not a **** up :hugs:
    reply

    but i SO could have done, the whole time he didnt say anything :sad: i shouldnt do that to my own boyfriend, im so ****
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Today, I'm stuck in my wife's office again while she's teaching a class because she doesn't trust me on my own at home. :rolleyes: Seeing the psychiatrist tomorrow and absolutely **** scared about it if I'm honest. How are you? Did you get to sleep in the end last night?
    I meant to reply last night but fell asleep. So yeah, unfortunately not till I had finally unwound at 0400.

    I think I relaxed as I found your relationship with your wife quite inspiring. Gave me a bit of hope of what can be achieved if the barrier can be broken and there is a little bit of trust. And then I got thinking whether trust was the right word. What if the trust was to become blind faith in that person, how wonderful that could be...

    You basically gave me evidence that it is possible for things to be different. I don't need to push back all the time. I don't need to destroy everything just because my reality is different to whomever I am with. I could have faith in what they say instead of believing all the noise in my head and what they are telling me. That's got to be possible, hasn't it?

    So thank you for that. I lift my virtual hat to you, raise a glass and offer a toast.....to hope for the future...

    To paraphrase the above - I'm feeling a bit better about things tonight! (Sorry for the waffle).

    Edit: Means I can focus on an draft essay deadline for tomorrow (if I can keep away from this forum)
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    reply

    but i SO could have done, the whole time he didnt say anything :sad: i shouldnt do that to my own boyfriend, im so ****
    reply

    But you didn't.

    You can try and work on better coping mechanisms But you need to be able to forgive yourself.
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    (Original post by rmhumphries)
    It is the basic e-mail I used when I needed some extra help from lecturers - as long as you have some medical evidence you will be fine.
    thanks for the help.
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    (Original post by rmhumphries)
    reply

    But you didn't.

    You can try and work on better coping mechanisms But you need to be able to forgive yourself.
    reply

    the only coping mechanism i seem to have is either releasing it in a way i shouldnt OR using my twiddly, but i needed to hold on to rory for safety...
    i cant forgive myself until i know hes ok, and hes currently sleeping

    dunno just seem to feel VERY low at the moment and miss my ffamily a lot i think
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    Feel so so **** tonight. Im a horrible person and so want to do bad things


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    You're not horrible. :nah: :hugs:
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    reply

    the only coping mechanism i seem to have is either releasing it in a way i shouldnt OR using my twiddly, but i needed to hold on to rory for safety...
    i cant forgive myself until i know hes ok, and hes currently sleeping

    dunno just seem to feel VERY low at the moment and miss my ffamily a lot i think
    reply

    While I am not in a great position to give advice, as my own coping mechanisms are not exactly fantastic either, then I have faith in you to be able to use safer coping mechanisms more; maybe have a chat with Rory tomorrow and see if you can work something out together. Rory will be fine I am certain.

    Maybe give someone in your family a ring tomorrow? Or if you don't like using the phone, you could send an e-mail, just have a bit of a chat, you might not miss them as much.
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    (Original post by los lobos marinos)
    Have you got a solicitor to help with your challenge against the DWP and the CMHT decisions? It really helped me get the full access to the services and support to which I am legally entitled.

    If you haven't, then consider the following:
    When I received all the substantial evidence the state had against me (massive pile of papers) I went to the library to confirm if they had acted lawfully (from my interpretation of the legislation). I then typed a lengthy witness statement, directly referencing the law and in some cases quoting the applicable legislation, guidance and codes. Every time I found evidence that they acted incorrectly I presented the appropriate legal argument. It ended up over 20 pages long if memory serves me right. I then delivered my statement to the solicitor and it was used, in it's entirety to support my case and it ensures all the little things that add up to make life so difficult are seen by the judge who is then, obligated to pay due regard to it. It also meant that when it came to the case being heard, those thing that me cry, paranoid, anxious and cause distress are already known and out in the open. Less painful. The judge was very sensitive and tactful though.

    It really helped me. It may help you too.
    Currently things with the DWP are at a standstill, I just need to wait for the DLA appeal to come through - nothing I can do about that, ESA I now know what they want from me, it just would have been nice if they had of told me, as opposed to me having to chase them (and initially being told the wrong thing - it was only because I tried to get the job centre to admit they lost the letter that I found out they had the letter but it wasn't what they needed). Disability benefits can be stupidly difficult to claim!

    With the CMHT, I don't know what to do really - as I said earlier, I am registered with them at least, but I don't know what to do. I think I will wait for Superwolf to return, and they can help me decide what to do now.

    Thanks for the advice though - I will bear it in mind.
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    (Original post by rmhumphries)
    reply

    While I am not in a great position to give advice, as my own coping mechanisms are not exactly fantastic either, then I have faith in you to be able to use safer coping mechanisms more; maybe have a chat with Rory tomorrow and see if you can work something out together. Rory will be fine I am certain.

    Maybe give someone in your family a ring tomorrow? Or if you don't like using the phone, you could send an e-mail, just have a bit of a chat, you might not miss them as much.
    reply

    apparently i shouldnt be sorry, and apparently i should start crying as soon as rory says he loves me :facepalm: stupid stpid poncho

    i might phone my sister and ask how my nephew is because i do miss him like crazy, hes like just over 4 weeks old now and iv seen him like 4 times maybe, all within his first week

    gonna go cuddle rory and carry on appologiseing, sorry for melting
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    (Original post by los lobos marinos)
    I meant to reply last night but fell asleep. So yeah, unfortunately not till I had finally unwound at 0400.

    I think I relaxed as I found your relationship with your wife quite inspiring. Gave me a bit of hope of what can be achieved if the barrier can be broken and there is a little bit of trust. And then I got thinking whether trust was the right word. What if the trust was to become blind faith in that person, how wonderful that could be...

    You basically gave me evidence that it is possible for things to be different. I don't need to push back all the time. I don't need to destroy everything just because my reality is different to whomever I am with. I could have faith in what they say instead of believing all the noise in my head and what they are telling me. That's got to be possible, hasn't it?

    So thank you for that. I lift my virtual hat to you, raise a glass and offer a toast.....to hope for the future...

    To paraphrase the above - I'm feeling a bit better about things tonight! (Sorry for the waffle).

    Edit: Means I can focus on an draft essay deadline for tomorrow (if I can keep away from this forum)
    Yeah, we have a very open relationship. She knows everything about me, I've never held anything back even things I'm ashamed of and, as far as I know, she has done the same to me. A lot of couples each have their own secrets but I don't think that's necessary, I think you should share everything. I'm really glad to hear about the positive effect me telling you this had on you - I never thought before that such a relationship was possible either but then it just sorta happened That's not to say we don't have arguments or anything of course we do but the trust is always there. I'm sure there's a woman in the world who'll you will fall for too eventually, it's just a case of finding her. And good luck with your essay - unplug your internet cable if necessary!

    (Original post by rmhumphries)
    With the CMHT, I don't know what to do really - as I said earlier, I am registered with them at least, but I don't know what to do. I think I will wait for Superwolf to return, and they can help me decide what to do now.
    Have you thought about writing them a letter detailing everything about your mental health? You could also include the bit about your body language being positive, not showing emotions etc and the reasons for that. I dunno, it's probably a long shot but maybe if they knew everything they might reconsider. Though imo it seems pretty stupid to expect everyone to cry or whatever in order to get help.
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    reply

    apparently i shouldnt be sorry, and apparently i should start crying as soon as rory says he loves me :facepalm: stupid stpid poncho

    i might phone my sister and ask how my nephew is because i do miss him like crazy, hes like just over 4 weeks old now and iv seen him like 4 times maybe, all within his first week

    gonna go cuddle rory and carry on appologiseing, sorry for melting
    reply

    Aye - that sounds like a good idea to contact your sister.

    Tis ok, hope I helped a little


    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Have you thought about writing them a letter detailing everything about your mental health? You could also include the bit about your body language being positive, not showing emotions etc and the reasons for that. I dunno, it's probably a long shot but maybe if they knew everything they might reconsider. Though imo it seems pretty stupid to expect everyone to cry or whatever in order to get help.
    Aye, it is certainly something I am considering. Wolf has been referred to the same place, so I might see how their assessment goes (although no appointment yet), and see if hear anything from them (I was given the choice to be CC'ed into any letters they send, and I was told they would contact my GP - so it might be worth seeing what they say to him).
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    (Original post by rmhumphries)
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    Aye - that sounds like a good idea to contact your sister.

    Tis ok, hope I helped a little
    reply

    yeah, can only phone her when her boyfriends at work though because hes a horrible person and seems to want to stop me talking to my own sister

    you deffinately have helped thankyou
    your awesome :yep:
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    Okay I know I should go to bed but I just don't want to. I want to talk to my bf cos I don't feel all that good, but it's really late and he's not feeling well. I want something to drink but I don't want to leave my room in case I annoy my flat mates by waking them up or something. Today just has not been my day. I'm staring at a bottle of pina colada thinking I could drink you, then I wouldn't have to leave my room. But It's a stupid idea! I need to go and get a drink. I am going to get a drink! I am a big girl and I can leave my room at 3:00 to get a drink if I want to! There's no problem with that.
    I should go get a drink then go to bed. I need to stop being stupid and do what I know is good for me.
    ... I also need to stop talking to myself through TSR... It's creepy and wierd sounding... :curious:
    Hope everyone is having a less strange and annoying night than I am. :hugs:
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    (Original post by Kindred)
    ... I also need to stop talking to myself through TSR... It's creepy and wierd sounding... :curious:
    Hope everyone is having a less strange and annoying night than I am. :hugs:
    I don't find it creepy or weird sounding :nah: If it helps you, just go for it!

    I can't sleep coz I'm bouncing off the walls. I did manage to keep my food down today though, which means I can actually eat today at my own bday party :king1: :woo:
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    I don't find it creepy or weird sounding :nah: If it helps you, just go for it!

    I can't sleep coz I'm bouncing off the walls. I did manage to keep my food down today though, which means I can actually eat today at my own bday party :king1: :woo:
    Cheers
    That's awesome!! And happy birthday!! :party2:
 
 
 
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