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    (Original post by PonchoKid)

    and this my friend is why you are super awesome :woo::awesome::banana2:
    I'm not. Back to tears again. :cry2:
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    Having a horrible night. Resorted to avoiding everyone as usual.
    Been a useless couple of days.
    Mental health sucks.
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    But last time you went you were on your own, do you think youd feel safer if there was someone you know there with you, prehaps talk to him about going near the place, looking at it from a distance?



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    I know last time I was on my own and it was horrid.. But I don't really know him either :/ he said we'd discuss it more before planning anything but it's terrifying to go back there and talk about it all :hide:


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    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    I know last time I was on my own and it was horrid.. But I don't really know him either :/ he said we'd discuss it more before planning anything but it's terrifying to go back there and talk about it all :hide:


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    Do you have a nurse you could drag along as well or a trusted friend? It sounds like he's doing some kinda trauma exposure therapy-esque thing, so I'm not sure he'll be amenable to backing down about it.

    Big hugs :hugs:
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    not doing well .i'm so tired of feeling like this,
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    Went to bed at 8pm last night, woke up 11am to take morning meds, went back to sleep and got up at 2.30pm. Yet I'm still exhausted.
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Do you have a nurse you could drag along as well or a trusted friend? It sounds like he's doing some kinda trauma exposure therapy-esque thing, so I'm not sure he'll be amenable to backing down about it.

    Big hugs :hugs:
    Probably could take a nurse with me.. There is one who I sorta trust.. Well she's the only one who tries to see things from my perspective. God knows what he's doing he goes cause I barely talk to him about it.. This will kind of force the issue.. But then again I really don't want to be forced into going to that place :sad:

    Thanks though :hugs:


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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    I'm not awesome, just had to say it on here

    I'm near 22 and pushed all my friends away, so that makes me **** :yep:


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    Of course you are awesome, it doesn't seem like that to you but everyone else here can see it :yep:

    From what I've seen you post about them on here I wouldn't consider them to be particularly good friends .

    (Original post by los lobos marinos)
    And another awesome person (didn't mean to miss you out)
    (Original post by los lobos marinos)
    Evidence to support the hypothesesis that you are indeed highly awesome:
    Probably most people on this thread feel that they've pushed friends away (including me) in an illogical attempt to protect ourselves or whatever. It's also probable that those friends care about us and want to help due to each of our gargantual levels of awesomeness. Hell, we are ALL awesome!!!

    No doubt you too were also hit with 'awesome stick' at the point of conception.
    Lol, do you think I'm still awesome when I've forgotten to take my meds and it results in me feeling low?

    (Original post by gemmanewman)
    I've missed so much episodes of Waterloo Road I can no longer call myself a fan Need to catch up, pronto.
    You do :yep: . This is the first time I've really been watching it since Series 4 so quite a lot has changed. For quite a while I seemed to find it boring :ninja: although I think that was depression doing the talking :yep:. Right now I find it hard to wait for the next episode .




    Had a fairly crap day, couldn't sleep again and didn't take my morning meds either because I didn't want to leave my room and have breakfast. Then I went and did some shopping which went well. However I have a lot of work to do for tomorrow but I can't seem to concentrate at all, it took me forever to complete this post.
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    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    I know last time I was on my own and it was horrid.. But I don't really know him either :/ he said we'd discuss it more before planning anything but it's terrifying to go back there and talk about it all :hide:
    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Do you have a nurse you could drag along as well or a trusted friend? It sounds like he's doing some kinda trauma exposure therapy-esque thing, so I'm not sure he'll be amenable to backing down about it.

    Big hugs :hugs:
    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    Probably could take a nurse with me.. There is one who I sorta trust.. Well she's the only one who tries to see things from my perspective. God knows what he's doing he goes cause I barely talk to him about it.. This will kind of force the issue.. But then again I really don't want to be forced into going to that place :sad:

    Thanks though :hugs:
    i think TLG is right in that hes wanting to do trauma exposure, i honestly think you need to talk to him more about it, see what would actually happen, make sure you know what will happen, if you say you want to leave he lets you, you can have someone there you trust, like that nurse ECT.
    hes not going to do it when you next see him, prehaps even ask if you can stay in the car with the doors locked, so you KNOW you will be safe?
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    Feeling quite needy and down at the moment which isn't fun. Not sure if i'm just having a bit of an emotional time at the moment cos of my cold or if i'm slipping into a bad way of thinking again.
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    Why is it when we're surrounded by people that we care about do we still feel so ****ing lonely?

    :sad:

    Dunno wether its cos my birthday is coming up or not but I feel so lonely and ****


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    problem:

    If I step outside I'm too paranoid and can't trust that my behaviour or way I express myself will not cause others to feel alarm, distress or fear (its happened before). I can't think straight right now.

    What do I put in an email to my campus to say I possibly won't be able to attend anything this week? Whatever I type sounds ridiculously pathetic and just makes me feel ashamed and embarrassed at my inability to function.
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    (Original post by los lobos marinos)
    problem:

    If I step outside I'm too paranoid and can't trust that my behaviour or way I express myself will not cause others to feel alarm, distress or fear (its happened before). I can't think straight right now.

    What do I put in an email to my campus to say I possibly won't be able to attend anything this week? Whatever I type sounds ridiculously pathetic and just makes me feel ashamed and embarrassed at my inability to function.
    :hugs: That sounds really rough. I would say you're having problems with your mental health so won't be able to make lectures and that you can get a doctor's note to cover your absence (I assume you can?). You don't need to go into too much detail, it's none of their business just give the basics and let the doctor's note back you up.

    Are you seeing your doctor any time soon?
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    Spoiler:
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    My girlfriend found out I'd cut myself and she went absolutely mental, then went all nurse on me to put plasters over the cuts, I was reaaaally drunk at a house party and just felt really bad for some reason despite having an awesome night.


    Then my friend passed out after hitting his head in the bathroom so we had to take him to hospital, me and one other person went in the ambulance and stayed with him from half 2 or 3 when the ambulance arrived til 10 in the morning, so i was sleep deprived and in a bloody shirt (from me, not my friend) which no one noticed thankfully...

    So, was a very eventful weekend,
    Spoiler:
    Show
    I've promised i won't cut any more to my girlfriend though
    Still need so much sleep.
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    (Original post by Willum Infanta)
    Spoiler:
    Show
    My girlfriend found out I'd cut myself and she went absolutely mental, then went all nurse on me to put plasters over the cuts, I was reaaaally drunk at a house party and just felt really bad for some reason despite having an awesome night.


    Then my friend passed out after hitting his head in the bathroom so we had to take him to hospital, me and one other person went in the ambulance and stayed with him from half 2 or 3 when the ambulance arrived til 10 in the morning, so i was sleep deprived and in a bloody shirt (from me, not my friend) which no one noticed thankfully...

    So, was a very eventful weekend,
    Spoiler:
    Show
    I've promised i won't cut any more to my girlfriend though.
    Still need so much sleep.
    Just a tip that you might wanna spoiler the self harm parts.

    Glad you helped your friend though :yep:


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    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    Probably could take a nurse with me.. There is one who I sorta trust.. Well she's the only one who tries to see things from my perspective. God knows what he's doing he goes cause I barely talk to him about it.. This will kind of force the issue.. But then again I really don't want to be forced into going to that place :sad:

    Thanks though :hugs:


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Poncho's reply is really good, so I have nothing to add really. More proof that she is awesome :ahee:

    Do think about taking the nurse but equally don't let yourself be coerced into this if it's really not the right time. Try and keep an open mind about it all :hugs:
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    Just a tip that you might wanna spoiler the self harm parts.

    Glad you helped your friend though :yep:


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    Oh sorry, I didn't realise, will edit now!
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    (Original post by Willum Infanta)
    Oh sorry, I didn't realise, will edit now!
    Its just people may be triggered by it, were not actually meant to discuss it, but its safer to be in spoilers

    Just thought id give you the heads up


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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Poncho's reply is really good, so I have nothing to add really. More proof that she is awesome :ahee:

    Do think about taking the nurse but equally don't let yourself be coerced into this if it's really not the right time. Try and keep an open mind about it all :hugs:
    Im deffinately not awesome :nah:

    But i hear someone called the lonely goatherd is :ninja: :yep:


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    I help people out without the intent of them having to help me out in the future, I just like helping people out and making them happier even if I can't find happiness myself. But when I get to moods like today when I need a friend and there's no one around and think "why is no one helping me?", that implies that perhaps sub-consciously when I help someone out, that it can be for the intent of them helping me out in the future. I don't know...I feel like I help people out when they need me purely because it makes me a little happier that they're happier too. I can't tell whether i'm being selfless or selfish.

    Also I swear some people think i'm a robot that has no feelings what-so-ever and that I can't make mistakes. Newsflash (this isn't aimed at any one in this thread...this is a rant about offline shenanigans): I'm human!! I've got a soul that so happens to have feelings as ceeeerazzzy as that sounds and yes I do make mistakes...as does everyone else in this world.
    Then again, the majority of people who question all that are the people who don't know the battles I go through every day and so I can forgive them to some extent I guess. However the minority that DOES know and feels like that makes me feel crushed as it takes a lot out of me to say something like this to people.

    Everyone seems to be doing stuff, having a laugh and exploring opportunities where as i'm watching life go by. I do try and change things up a bit and I do try and get some sort of "get up and go", but I only seem to get it rarely if at all. I feel like I got to do something in my life to get my bounce back, but I simply don't know what. I feel like a shell that's on auto-pilot and just going through the motions as a way of trying to block out all the overwhelming things in my life.

    So yeah...that's that, sorry for the long post everyone!
 
 
 
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