Depression Society MkII Watch

This discussion is closed.
kiss_me_now9
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#8641
Report 9 years ago
#8641
(Original post by Antimatter)
Sorry for *****ing *sad*
That's what we're here for, to talk :yep:

I'm off to bed now 'cos I'm working earlies tomorrow (7 til 2:30, bleurgh) but :hugs: all of you, have a good nights sleep!
0
Antimatter
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#8642
Report 9 years ago
#8642
(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
That's what we're here for, to talk :yep:

I'm off to bed now 'cos I'm working earlies tomorrow (7 til 2:30, bleurgh) but :hugs: all of you, have a good nights sleep!
Sleep well!
Aaargh, I havnt felt like this in a yea, its so gay.

Thanks a bnch *hgs*
0
Pocket Calculator
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#8643
Report 9 years ago
#8643
there really is no point in keeping this going. for ages i'd planned on pulling the plug after uni, assuming my life hadn't improved. and that gave me some kind of strange comfort, that whatever happened before then wouldn't matter. but even that seems too far away now, i can't even last until then. i'm nearly constantly on the verge of tears, seeing everyone around me somehow blagging incredible jobs, pairing up with people with such ease. neither of those things are going to happen to me, never have, never will. i'm completely broken. there is nothing in the future that i have to look forward to. if i prolong this, i'll just end up being a stalker. i'm such a mess. i have to stop this before i end up hurting other people. but then getting rid of myself is only going to hurt people too.


god this is so painful. all i ever wanted was a normal life. and i'm feeling like this the morning before my first exam. today's going to go well.
0
diamonddust
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#8644
Report 9 years ago
#8644
(Original post by Pocket Calculator)
there really is no point in keeping this going. for ages i'd planned on pulling the plug after uni, assuming my life hadn't improved. and that gave me some kind of strange comfort, that whatever happened before then wouldn't matter. but even that seems too far away now, i can't even last until then. i'm nearly constantly on the verge of tears, seeing everyone around me somehow blagging incredible jobs, pairing up with people with such ease. neither of those things are going to happen to me, never have, never will. i'm completely broken. there is nothing in the future that i have to look forward to. if i prolong this, i'll just end up being a stalker. i'm such a mess. i have to stop this before i end up hurting other people. but then getting rid of myself is only goign to hurt people too.
Oh Pocket, you don't know what the future holds. Things could suddenly change for the better tomorrow and if you killed yourself today you'd be denying yourself the chance for things to get better. I know this is probably the biggest cliche ever but things can and will get better, you just have to believe it. /cliche (sorry )
Are you getting any help like CBT or antidepressants?
I know what you mean by getting comfort from knowing you'll be dead, it's like you can cope with anything because you know it will be over soon. But you have to try to resist and give yourself a chance to live even when every single second you're still alive for hurts like hell.

At least you still care about hurting other people, that shows there's still a part of you that feels obligated to live if only to stop other people feeling pain?

I'm sorry I'm not being helpful. It's hard to be helpful when I know what it feels like to be so despairing.
:hugs: for now, and try to distract yourself. Maybe you could go for a walk or something to clear your head?

Take care and please don't hurt yourself xx
0
Pocket Calculator
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#8645
Report 9 years ago
#8645
(Original post by diamonddust)
Oh Pocket, you don't know what the future holds. Things could suddenly change for the better tomorrow and if you killed yourself today you'd be denying yourself the chance for things to get better. I know this is probably the biggest cliche ever but things can and will get better, you just have to believe it. /cliche (sorry )
Are you getting any help like CBT or antidepressants?
I know what you mean by getting comfort from knowing you'll be dead, it's like you can cope with anything because you know it will be over soon. But you have to try to resist and give yourself a chance to live even when every single second you're still alive for hurts like hell.

At least you still care about hurting other people, that shows there's still a part of you that feels obligated to live if only to stop other people feeling pain?

I'm sorry I'm not being helpful. It's hard to be helpful when I know what it feels like to be so despairing.
:hugs: for now, and try to distract yourself. Maybe you could go for a walk or something to clear your head?

Take care and please don't hurt yourself xx
no, i'm not taking anything. i probably should, but i'm terrified of actually seeking treatment or telling people about it. my friends would see it as nothing more than attention-seeking, which would just add to the whole loner freak image that this depression is already making me drift towards. moving away and trying to get a new image doesn't work. i always end up being like this.

i don't see any reason in carrying on solely for other people's benefit. i've seen relatives of mine cling on to a miserable existance into middle age and beyond, even though they have no hope of achieving anything in their lives. i'm absolutely petrified of ending up the same way.

thanks for talking though
0
diamonddust
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#8646
Report 9 years ago
#8646
(Original post by Pocket Calculator)
no, i'm not taking anything. i probably should, but i'm terrified of actually seeking treatment or telling people about it. my friends would see it as nothing more than attention-seeking, which would just add to the whole loner freak image that this depression is already making me drift towards. moving away and trying to get a new image doesn't work. i always end up being like this.

i don't see any reason in carrying on solely for other people's benefit. i've seen relatives of mine cling on to a miserable existance into middle age and beyond, even though they have no hope of achieving anything in their lives. i'm absolutely petrified of ending up the same way.

thanks for talking though
You don't need to tell anyone about your diagnosis if you do get treatment. I still haven't told my new college friends because I can instinctively tell they won't understand. Why don't you try going to the doctor and telling him/her how you feel? Surely it's better to try and get treatment before you try anything else? It might make you feel just as comforted knowing that you can get help from a doctor as it does knowing you can kill yourself? I doubt it tbh, but going to a doctor is another option, and one I think you should at least try. You have nothing to be worried about. The doctor should be sympathetic and non a*seholey... hopefully.

And about the bolded bit, I completely agree. I think it's selfish of other people to expect you to live for them. Other people don't quite see it like that though...
0
Pocket Calculator
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#8647
Report 9 years ago
#8647
(Original post by diamonddust)
You don't need to tell anyone about your diagnosis if you do get treatment. I still haven't told my new college friends because I can instinctively tell they won't understand. Why don't you try going to the doctor and telling him/her how you feel? Surely it's better to try and get treatment before you try anything else? It might make you feel just as comforted knowing that you can get help from a doctor as it does knowing you can kill yourself? I doubt it tbh, but going to a doctor is another option, and one I think you should at least try. You have nothing to be worried about. The doctor should be sympathetic and non a*seholey... hopefully.
will it really help me sort out my life though? i'll probably just end up feeling numb and apathetic, as opposed to despairing. is that really any better?
0
Vienna Cannon
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#8648
Report 9 years ago
#8648
:cry: god why is this all to much for me to cope with :cry:
0
Sabertooth
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#8649
Report 9 years ago
#8649
(Original post by Vienna Cannon)
:cry: god why is this all to much for me to cope with :cry:
Anything you want to talk about? :hugs:

(Original post by Pocket Calculator)
will it really help me sort out my life though? i'll probably just end up feeling numb and apathetic, as opposed to despairing. is that really any better?
Surely it's worth giving it a go? That way at least you've tried, if it fails then relook at your options.
0
diamonddust
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#8650
Report 9 years ago
#8650
(Original post by Pocket Calculator)
will it really help me sort out my life though? i'll probably just end up feeling numb and apathetic, as opposed to despairing. is that really any better?
Isn't it worth a try? If it doesn't work you have other options but if you don't try it in the first place you're making it harder for yourself to get better. I know it's hard to take the first step but once you've done it things will (hopefully) get a little better. I'm not saying it will happen overnight and really antidepressants aren't an instant cure, they're just meant to alievate the physical symptoms of depression like tiredness and stuff so you have enough energy to deal with your mind. Theoretically anyway....

How are you feeling right now?

And how is everyone else?
0
diamonddust
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#8651
Report 9 years ago
#8651
Crap crap crap crap crap! 15 days until my Chemistry exam. 15 days! I thought I had about 3 weeks to revise! What am I going to do? I'm doing to fail. Oh crap. I'm not going to get into uni. And Biology's even worse! 13 days... crap. I don't know anything. Oh God... what am I going to do? I don't even have 15 days for Chemistry... I have two weeks. That isn't enough time. I have to learn the stuff to begin with, not revise it for both Biology and Chemistry. I'm screwed.
0
kiss_me_now9
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#8652
Report 9 years ago
#8652
Feeling very raw today, lost one patient and one of my 'regulars' (i.e have been looking after him since Friday) is going south really quickly and I don't think he'll be alive when I go back to work tomorrow afternoon. Really nice guy too Not sure what to think at the moment tbh. Just want to curl up and try to pretend that nice people don't die!

Trust me DD, panicking about it won't help, you need to get down and revise! Alternate hours from now on - One hour Bio, ten minute break, one hour Chem, ten minute break until you feel like you want to keel over and then rinse and repeat the next day. Two days before your Bio exam, just do Bio, and then just do a little recap of bio on the day before with mainly Chem so you don't get all panicky.
0
diamonddust
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#8653
Report 9 years ago
#8653
(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
Feeling very raw today, lost one patient and one of my 'regulars' (i.e have been looking after him since Friday) is going south really quickly and I don't think he'll be alive when I go back to work tomorrow afternoon. Really nice guy too Not sure what to think at the moment tbh. Just want to curl up and try to pretend that nice people don't die!

Trust me DD, panicking about it won't help, you need to get down and revise! Alternate hours from now on - One hour Bio, ten minute break, one hour Chem, ten minute break until you feel like you want to keel over and then rinse and repeat the next day. Two days before your Bio exam, just do Bio, and then just do a little recap of bio on the day before with mainly Chem so you don't get all panicky.
That sounds like a plan! Thank you!

I'm sorry about your patient.
0
xxkaylsxx
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#8654
Report 9 years ago
#8654
(Original post by diamonddust)
Have you got Lit on Wednesday? I love the Wuthering Heights quote in your sig. I can't stand Cathy though! As far as I'm concerned, she caused everything. If she'd just married Heathcliff and not gone off with wimpy Edgar, Heathcliff wouldn't have gone crazy! God, Heathcliff and Cathy deserve each other. They're too ****** up for anyone else! /rant
Are you on OCR?
I'm doing Pride and Prejudice and Wilfred Owen. I hate Wilfred Owen, all his poetry merges into one in my mind, I can't tell them apart!

I'm exhausted. I think I'm going to have a nap for an hour after dinner and then go back to lit.

How is everyone today? Hope you're all ok.
I love Wuthering heights too, especially the part i quoted, when Cathy describes Linton as the "foliage in the trees" it is absolutely fantastic!! I do feel sorry for Hareton at times though.

I have AQA lit tomorrow, its ridiculously hard. im doing Enduring love (not a fan i must admit), The great Gatsby(i dont particularly enjoy it, novels about American society are too boring for my taste), Thomas Hardy poetry, and some of Keats poetry (BRILLIANT!!!).

Im getting really stressed out about it at the moment, doubt i will sleep tonight. Good luck for tomorrow (and i apologise for my little book rant there).
:rolleyes:
0
diamonddust
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#8655
Report 9 years ago
#8655
(Original post by xxkaylsxx)
I love Wuthering heights too, especially the part i quoted, when Cathy describes Linton as the "foliage in the trees" it is absolutely fantastic!! I do feel sorry for Hareton at times though.

I have AQA lit tomorrow, its ridiculously hard. im doing Enduring love (not a fan i must admit), The great Gatsby(i dont particularly enjoy it, novels about American society are too boring for my taste), Thomas Hardy poetry, and some of Keats poetry (BRILLIANT!!!).

Im getting really stressed out about it at the moment, doubt i will sleep tonight. Good luck for tomorrow (and i apologise for my little book rant there).
:rolleyes:
Ditto! I need to revise, I've been up since 9 and I've done no work. And nothing wrong with book rants, they're fun (maybe that's just me...)!

Are you doing AS or A2 lit? Your syllabus sounds like A2, if it is AS I'm jealous!
I tried to read Enduring Love but couldn't get past the first 2 pages... You're so lucky you get to do Hardy! I've only read Jude and Tess but he's great! My friend is doing the Great Gatsby and she constantly moans about how nothing happens lol

Oops, I kind of did a book rant too...

I've just realised I don't know anything! I can't remember any of Owen's poems...
0
xxkaylsxx
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#8656
Report 9 years ago
#8656
(Original post by diamonddust)
Ditto! I need to revise, I've been up since 9 and I've done no work. And nothing wrong with book rants, they're fun (maybe that's just me...)!

Are you doing AS or A2 lit? Your syllabus sounds like A2, if it is AS I'm jealous!
I tried to read Enduring Love but couldn't get past the first 2 pages... You're so lucky you get to do Hardy! I've only read Jude and Tess but he's great! My friend is doing the Great Gatsby and she constantly moans about how nothing happens lol

Oops, I kind of did a book rant too...

I've just realised I don't know anything! I can't remember any of Owen's poems...
Nope im doing AS, and believe me you wouldnt be jealous if you knew i had to compare 3 texts in just one essay!!
did i mention the hardy was poetry? its quite pessimistic and morbid (totally fiffitng for me at the moment) but is really easy to analyse as everything basically leads to the same thing.

Im sure if you read through Owens poems you will remember something and if not at least you have some time to sort that out
0
Antimatter
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#8657
Report 9 years ago
#8657
Another day, another doctor call :p:
So now I'm on Escitalopram, with the Propanalol.
Anyway, hai guys and :hugs: to all
0
xxkaylsxx
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#8658
Report 9 years ago
#8658
Hello everyone, how are you??

i had an exam today, didnt go brilliantly but im soo exhausted i dont think i can really be bothered to care anymore!!:redface:
how was your english exam diamonddust? (sorry if i have got the wrong person)
0
xxkaylsxx
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#8659
Report 9 years ago
#8659
is anybody here?
0
Pocket Calculator
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#8660
Report 9 years ago
#8660
i'm around! feeling pretty lonely again, but not too bad. revising for an exam tomorrow. how's you and everyone else?
0
X
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Have you registered to vote?

Yes! (386)
37.22%
No - but I will (80)
7.71%
No - I don't want to (72)
6.94%
No - I can't vote (<18, not in UK, etc) (499)
48.12%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed