Depression Society MkII Watch

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Nothos
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#8981
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#8981
:cry: My dad had a go at me about something which wasn't my fault earlier today. He got really angry and I just lost it and had to run out of the room because I was flashing back to when he used to beat me as a kid. I just couldn't take it and I still feel really shakey by it now :sad:
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jonathan122
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#8982
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#8982
I feel so angry. I worked so hard this year, and in the last couple of weeks my revision schedule has completely fallen apart, and I know I won't get what I deserve in these exams.
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Pocket Calculator
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#8983
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#8983
(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
- The thought of work tomorrow is making me feel sick...........
******* loner and having no social life,
do you not have any friends at work? are there no ways for you to make friends where you are now?
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Nothos
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#8984
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#8984
:cry: My parents are refusing to let me go and see my girlfriend (at the last minute too :cry:). That's all that's been keeping my going these last few days with my low mood. I don't know what to do now, I feel so horrible for letting her down and because I just had to see her :cry:
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jonathan122
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#8985
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#8985
(Original post by BruceTaylor)
:cry: My parents are refusing to let me go and see my girlfriend (at the last minute too :cry:). That's all that's been keeping my going these last few days with my low mood. I don't know what to do now, I feel so horrible for letting her down and because I just had to see her :cry:
How do you mean "refusing"? Can't you just go anyway? Why are they doing this?
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Nothos
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#8986
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#8986
(Original post by jonathan122)
How do you mean "refusing"? Can't you just go anyway? Why are they doing this?
She's in Reading. I have to get train fare off of my parents because I'm in the process of looking for a summer job and they're refusing to let me go without a valid reason :cry:
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death.drop
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#8987
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#8987
(Original post by BruceTaylor)
She's in Reading. I have to get train fare off of my parents because I'm in the process of looking for a summer job and they're refusing to let me go without a valid reason :cry:
and they don't think this is a valid reason?
there any way she could pay for it and you pay her back?
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Laus
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#8988
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#8988
What NORMAL Dad says he is going to kill himself? And yeah we all know you have cancer, you throw the ******* cancer card in my face every time we argue, mum. I can't voice my opinion. I tried to settle stuff nicely by saying could they just not talk about God around me and all hell let lose. Apparently I want them to "conform". Er, no. I just want us to enjoy being a family. I don't know if I want to go back to uni - chances are I will mess up like last time and things will go wrong at home and it'll be the worst time ever. I have no talent. I have no job. I have nothing but the worry that my mum (and now auntie) will die. I cannot talk to anyone in my family as they are either ill or God fearing Bible bashers. I feel so angry. I just want to move out but I will epically fail and will probably end up killing myself.
Nothos
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#8989
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#8989
(Original post by Laus)
What NORMAL Dad says he is going to kill himself? And yeah we all know you have cancer, you throw the ******* cancer card in my face every time we argue, mum. I can't voice my opinion. I tried to settle stuff nicely by saying could they just not talk about God around me and all hell let lose. Apparently I want them to "conform". Er, no. I just want us to enjoy being a family. I don't know if I want to go back to uni - chances are I will mess up like last time and things will go wrong at home and it'll be the worst time ever. I have no talent. I have no job. I have nothing but the worry that my mum (and now auntie) will die. I cannot talk to anyone in my family as they are either ill or God fearing Bible bashers. I feel so angry. I just want to move out but I will epically fail and will probably end up killing myself.
Please don't say that :sad: There are numerous people here who care and will listen and want to help. You never need to do anything so rash. Go to uni, you won't mess it up and it'll give you valuable away time from the family :hugs:
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kiss_me_now9
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#8990
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#8990
(Original post by Pocket Calculator)
do you not have any friends at work? are there no ways for you to make friends where you are now?
Nope, they're all a lovely bunch but I feel because I'm the youngest (second youngest is one of the nurses who's 25, I'm 19) by a long shot that they haven't really accepted me or at least view me as someone who's not going to be around for long (I'm not planning on being around for long, but that's beside the point) - I know it's early days but I can't see myself ever being 'lifelong' friends with them.

Didn't go to work today, sat in bed and cried whilst my parents shouted abuse at me. Some choice phrases were 'You're just effing lazy', 'you'll never amount to anything', 'how the eff did you get like this', 'how the eff are you ever going to amount to anything, you'll only get as far as selling the big issue, they wouldn't even want you' and the one that I really liked - 'you're just a effed up piece of ****' I feel loved :rolleyes:
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Antimatter
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#8991
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#8991
(Original post by BruceTaylor)
:cry: My parents are refusing to let me go and see my girlfriend (at the last minute too :cry:). That's all that's been keeping my going these last few days with my low mood. I don't know what to do now, I feel so horrible for letting her down and because I just had to see her :cry:
Bruce, you have to not only be happy because you were going to see her, you need to have things that make you happy regardless. Girls can come and go, contentment lasts forever.
Aside, why can't she come to see you instead?
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Laus
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#8992
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#8992
(Original post by BruceTaylor)
Please don't say that :sad: There are numerous people here who care and will listen and want to help. You never need to do anything so rash. Go to uni, you won't mess it up and it'll give you valuable away time from the family :hugs:
:hugs:

I really hope so. I just feel so awful :nn:.
Nothos
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#8993
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#8993
(Original post by Laus)
:hugs:

I really hope so. I just feel so awful :nn:.
:hugs: I know, but things will get better. I promise.
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death.drop
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#8994
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#8994
skipping pub night once again this week. just feeling ****. shane's messing me around again and it's making me feel totally worthless.
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Nothos
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#8995
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#8995
(Original post by death.drop)
skipping pub night once again this week. just feeling ****. shane's messing me around again and it's making me feel totally worthless.
:hugs: You're not worthless and there are numerous people who will tell you that :hugs:
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Liverpool's Number 9
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#8996
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#8996
I've suffered with depression that has messed up my love life, my education and well pretty much most things.

The depression also took the form of panic attacks and anxiety.

Recently, about 4-5 weeks ago I stopped taking my tablets. Now while I am in NO WAY advocating this for everyone, it has been the best decision I ever made.

My decision came about after I was arrested for nothing (literally nothing, apparently not leaving "the area" when you are walking away from a policeman is a crime... long story). The way I was treated by the on duty police in the holding cells was beyond disgraceful. I had one of the worst attacks I've ever had and they did nothing, when they finally did come in (about 3-4 minutes after the attack started) they left as soon as I swore at one of them explaining in a not so eloquent way "I'm having a panic attack I need air not water you stupid *****". Anyway I was in real trouble but I made a conscious decision (barely) that I wouldn't let those *******s be responsible for me passing out. I got an empty cup from the one drink of water I had been given in about 5 hours and began to breathe in to it while thinking positively to myself that I could do it. It worked.

I carried on taking the tablets shortly after that but I then decided I could live with out them, that my anxiety and depression despite being based on medical conditions seperate from them in the past were not something I had to live with in this way anymore.

My medical condition has improved dramatically since I was on the tablets and I think they gave me the confidence I needed at first but since then coming off them at this time has also been the right thing to do as well.

I keep some spares in case I ever need them but for me now I am learning to live without them.

Sure I still get anxious and depressed but it is how I decide to respond that is different and how I cope.

I'm more active than I have ever been and I feel healthier than months ago.

Never underestimate the power of P.M.A.

POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE.
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death.drop
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#8997
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#8997
(Original post by BruceTaylor)
:hugs: You're not worthless and there are numerous people who will tell you that :hugs:
it's just tough hearing from him that i may as well kill myself when he was the one that turned my life around. he's the only guy that's ever treated me well, the one that changed my opinion of men, and now he's just the same.
I wsh i'd just killed myself the other night because nothing is ever going to change. this sounds pathetic like it's all about some petty boyfriend troubles but there is more to it, i feel like killing myself anyway and his attitude about it is just too much to take.

the other night when I was on the edge i asked him if he could come over, the conversation went like this
me: hey, i'm having a bit of a crisis tonight, think you can come over?
him: no
me: you promised you would, you're part of my contingency plan. I really don't know if i can get through tonight on my own.
him: meh
me: can you just phone me?
him: no
me: why not?
him: *block*

it's seriously bad that right now i'm wishing both of my parents would hurry up and die so i can top myself and they won't have to know. I'm scared that if i do it someone will mention about the abuse and they'd know that i went through it all on my own and they didn't have a clue.

I have webber over tonight so i should be alright, but idk what to do after that. i just don't want to be here any more.
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Nothos
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#8998
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#8998
(Original post by death.drop)
it's just tough hearing from him that i may as well kill myself when he was the one that turned my life around. he's the only guy that's ever treated me well, the one that changed my opinion of men, and now he's just the same.
I wsh i'd just killed myself the other night because nothing is ever going to change. this sounds pathetic like it's all about some petty boyfriend troubles but there is more to it, i feel like killing myself anyway and his attitude about it is just too much to take.

the other night when I was on the edge i asked him if he could come over, the conversation went like this
me: hey, i'm having a bit of a crisis tonight, think you can come over?
him: no
me: you promised you would, you're part of my contingency plan. I really don't know if i can get through tonight on my own.
him: meh
me: can you just phone me?
him: no
me: why not?
him: *block*

it's seriously bad that right now i'm wishing both of my parents would hurry up and die so i can top myself and they won't have to know. I'm scared that if i do it someone will mention about the abuse and they'd know that i went through it all on my own and they didn't have a clue.

I have webber over tonight so i should be alright, but idk what to do after that. i just don't want to be here any more.
We want you here though, you're too nice a person to lose. Just remember there will always be people who can help. Friends and professionals. The situation is never so hopeless that you need to do something so drastic.
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kiss_me_now9
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#8999
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#8999
You see, I always thought I had a nice little family here, loving parents who cared about me and a sister who was always there, apparently not. Apparently the only reason I refuse to go to work, don't talk to my mum, cry myself to sleep and am generally self-destructing is because I want to hurt my mum by not being nice to her. Strangely I THOUGHT THIS WAS ABOUT ME FOR ONCE.

:cry:
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jonathan122
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#9000
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#9000
:cry:
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