Depression Society MkII Watch

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#9061
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#9061
(Original post by Malsi101)
no im in 6th form
no life no job nothing.emptiness. loneliness.
you not have any friends at 6th form either then?
you should think about getting a job, will give you something to do at least...

are you finishing 6th form or about to go into upper 6th?
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Malsy
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#9062
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#9062
(Original post by Pocket Calculator)
you not have any friends at 6th form either then?
you should think about getting a job, will give you something to do at least...

are you finishing 6th form or about to go into upper 6th?

upper 6th
and no cos i was new to the school and im not really myself and just see it as a place i have to go to


no job im too depressed to get a job
there's no hope for me :cry:
honest.
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#9063
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#9063
(Original post by Malsi101)
upper 6th
and no cos i was new to the school and im not really myself and just see it as a place i have to go to


no job im too depressed to get a job
there's no hope for me :cry:
honest.
are you actually on medication for it?

is there no way at all you can make friends near where you live, so you've at least got people to see over summer? that'll give you something to do. is there anyone on here who lives near you?

:hugs:
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Malsy
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#9064
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#9064
(Original post by Pocket Calculator)
are you actually on medication for it?

is there no way at all you can make friends near where you live, so you've at least got people to see over summer? that'll give you something to do. is there anyone on here who lives near you?

:hugs:

no i'm not.i went to see my doc[and this took a lot of strength tbh]but she never got back in touch and im not going again any time soon.

and no i can't.i really am that miserable.thanks for listening though.:hugs:
+rep later.xx
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#9065
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#9065
(Original post by Malsi101)
no i'm not.i went to see my doc[and this took a lot of strength tbh]but she never got back in touch and im not going again any time soon.

and no i can't.i really am that miserable.thanks for listening though.:hugs:
+rep later.xx
you might be suprised though. there's two people in this very society who are at my university.
any relatives you'd like to see?

sorry if i'm coming at everything just from one angle. for me the main problem's loneliness, (sometimes even when i'm around friends, it's pretty irrational) so meeting up with people always helps me. is it the same for you?

:hugs:
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xxkaylsxx
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#9066
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#9066
(Original post by Malsi101)
no i'm not.i went to see my doc[and this took a lot of strength tbh]but she never got back in touch and im not going again any time soon.

and no i can't.i really am that miserable.thanks for listening though.:hugs:
+rep later.xx
I know the feeling, it is difficult to make friends nearby.
This may have been mentioned already, i dont know, but can you not try to get a job over the summer?

If not then try to get out as much as possible and find ways to keep your mind off things, like reading lots or taking extremely long walks, just so you arent sat on your own all of the time.

If not of that keeps you occupied then there should always be someone here to talk to. sorry if i wasnt much help :hugs:
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Malsy
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#9067
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#9067
the thing is is that i want to be lonely as i cant face the world if you get what i mean. thats the main issue.
x
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blackfish
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#9068
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#9068
I feel so distant from reality at the moment. I dont know sometimes why I still walk the earth. I have alot on my plate at the moment, I am trying to secure a new house to move into so I am closer to work. I never thought it could be this stressful. Now I know how my parents felt everytime we moved house.

I had a hard week this week. I survived it so I am proud of myself for it. I worked none stop from Tuesday - Friday working early and late shifts in the same day for the whole period. I went out on Friday night and one of my friends ruined my evening by calling me asking where my other friend was to get £5 of him which he never borrowed in the first place. Despite me telling him that it wasn't my problem and refusing to get involved he kept calling. Eventually I put my phone on divert, so he decided to leave abusive messages on my voicemail. Not that it bothers me, its just pathetic for a 35 year old!

Sometimes I hate my mobile phone, I can never turn it off incase I get a callout.

First Great Western (Train Operator) Have severly displeased me today as well...! 3 Hours Late the train was. No Buffet from Liskeard - Exeter St Davids. The annoying thing was that I was sat in the First Class Section of the Buffet and when they announced it had opened, 20 people were already waiting... Grrr. Consquently as I said to the train manager, I was moderately annoyed that a Tea was not infront of me :mad:

Anyway, sorry to go on it's just been one hell of a week...! :hugs: to whoever would like them, if anyone fancies a chat then PM me as I am rather bored at the moment! How are all you lovely people??

BlackFish
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#9069
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#9069
(Original post by Malsi101)
the thing is is that i want to be lonely as i cant face the world if you get what i mean. thats the main issue.
x
isolating yourself will only make things worse. you need to take some steps to reach out to people, make friends and contacts. even if you do that through the internet.

i know how hard it can be, (and i wish i could pay attention to my own advice!) but you need to face the world!
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death.drop
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#9070
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#9070
i have my abuse therapy tomorrow and webber forgot he promised he'd come along and has buggered off to woolacombe. kind of a blow on two counts
1) he forgot about coming to the appointment.
2) he knew i really wanted to go to woolacombe and went without me.

lame.
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#9071
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#9071
(Original post by death.drop)
i have my abuse therapy tomorrow and webber forgot he promised he'd come along and has buggered off to woolacombe. kind of a blow on two counts
1) he forgot about coming to the appointment.
2) he knew i really wanted to go to woolacombe and went without me.

lame.
Awww :hugs:
It's horrible when people let you down, especially with stuff like this. Hope it goes okay tomorrow.
Well I have exams if that makes you feel any better.
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jonathan122
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#9072
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#9072
(Original post by death.drop)
i have my abuse therapy tomorrow and webber forgot he promised he'd come along and has buggered off to woolacombe. kind of a blow on two counts
1) he forgot about coming to the appointment.
2) he knew i really wanted to go to woolacombe and went without me.

lame.
:hugs:

I hope your therapy goes ok today.
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Malsy
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#9073
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#9073
FFS alarm didn't go off so now I'm missing school and missing the second day of A2 work
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death.drop
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#9074
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#9074
(Original post by jonathan122)
:hugs:

I hope your therapy goes ok today.
it. was. terrible.

it was like she was trying to fit me in to her description of who an abused person is and how an abused person feels, instead of listening to me and how I feel.

she also said if i attempt suicide then my counselling will stop. not that i really care, when/if i try it it's going to work so it doesn't affect me, but wtf is that about? surely if i had a suicide attempt then counselling would be something i very much need.

sorry i'm being no help whatsoever to anyone else right now.
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#9075
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#9075
(Original post by death.drop)
it. was. terrible.

it was like she was trying to fit me in to her description of who an abused person is and how an abused person feels, instead of listening to me and how I feel.

she also said if i attempt suicide then my counselling will stop. not that i really care, when/if i try it it's going to work so it doesn't affect me, but wtf is that about? surely if i had a suicide attempt then counselling would be something i very much need.

sorry i'm being no help whatsoever to anyone else right now.
That doesn't make much sense to me
So if you survive a suicide attempt instead of giving you more help they stop the help you are recieving. Mind blowing stuff.
Am sorry it was terrible, perhaps it will improve over time. Try to have a positive outlook I know it is hard at times but at least try
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fairy spangles
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#9076
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#9076
humm i think maybe i have to write on here.

i dont really know what im doing anymore.

for the last few weeks or months ive been completely off on one - i havent been able to sleep and ive been working 7am - 10pm most days - i thought it was all okay but two days ago for no reason what so ever i packed all my stuff and just moved house. Ive been getting so drunk and its not like me at all.

Now i cant think straight i cry at everything i dont even know why i left my job or home, im in a complete mess and all i do is sleep day and night. I just wanna hide in my room all day and i dont want to talk to anyone. Its like everyone is against me, i think that i always have to make everyone else happy but i cant. There are so many thoughts in my head i feel like its going to explode.
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#9077
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#9077
(Original post by fairy spangles)
humm i think maybe i have to write on here.

i dont really know what im doing anymore.

for the last few weeks or months ive been completely off on one - i havent been able to sleep and ive been working 7am - 10pm most days - i thought it was all okay but two days ago for no reason what so ever i packed all my stuff and just moved house. Ive been getting so drunk and its not like me at all.

Now i cant think straight i cry at everything i dont even know why i left my job or home, im in a complete mess and all i do is sleep day and night. I just wanna hide in my room all day and i dont want to talk to anyone. Its like everyone is against me, i think that i always have to make everyone else happy but i cant. There are so many thoughts in my head i feel like its going to explode.
long time no see!

sorry to hear about your new situation
where are you staying? can you not go back? did you not get on with your family?

:hugs:
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Vienna Cannon
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#9078
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#9078
Heh, I am feeling so so low right now. I really dont know what to do anymore. I am so desparate for a cigarrette right now. I am worried and nervous about tomorrow my open day interview and I know inside that I am not good enough for the position but i hope they think I am.
I am getting so desperate for a job now. Its getting me down so much. I have been feeling suicidal again, and it feels like there isnt anything I can do about it. I dont want to go to the doctors because they dont understand the pain I am in. I just want to end it al now. I was sat outside in the rain and got soaked and knew how easy it was for me to disappear again, and how much I wanted to be gone. Make everyones lives so much easier so much happier if I did just go. let everyone forget me. I am crying so much now. everyday is just a battle to stop me from hurting myself. I just want to let the pain take me completely because it hurts too much for me to cope with it.

I keep having nightmares and they kep changing so much and its making me to scared to get close to friends because I cant cope with the nightmares with them in and I just dont know what to do anymore.

Part of me thinks it will be so much easier to die then to face these fears and mnightmares . I always take the easy way out though, I guess that makes me so so weak. I wish people could see me for what i really am. But they don't
I used to want to study law but I know I will never get there I should give up all my hopes and dreams and become an empty shell again. At least then I didnt hurt so much

I have been wanting to hurt myself so so much to take out my pain hurt and anger but i promised someone I wouldn't even though right now I really need to.

I just want to be able to express this in my own way because I find it so much easier than talking about my problems, Because eventually I know that my problems will go and its easier coping with it by being in pain.

Sometimes I don't see the point in carrying on, just for everyone else's enjoyment of watching me suffer. Sometimes it feels like no one really does care, and then I feel so alone wih the voices I keep hearing. They keep telling me I deserve to be in pain, to hurt myself, to be alone and sometimes they are right sometimes I do deserve to be in pain for all the hurt and pain I cause others.

They tell me So many things so so much and most of it is true. They tell me how much I hurt those close to me and I know I do. and then they tell me I should hurt everyone hit them punch them kill them but I try blocking out and I feel so out of control. I dont want to go onto medication because I dont think it will help me at all..

I just want to fade away, It feels like my family really don't care anymore. they make me cry at night when they aren't about. I know my mum has her probl;ems but i constantly hear them complaining about me at night while i'm lying there in tears. I know I can never tell them what happened to me, I am a big enough failure as it is. Not received any jsa, and they having a go at me for it because theywant to take it from me as "rent and bills" Where ever I go everyone just uses me for money :'( My ex and now my family :'(
I dont know what to do anymore
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Vienna Cannon
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#9079
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#9079
:'( this hurts so much inside :'( I really dont want to carry on
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Nothos
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#9080
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#9080
(Original post by Vienna Cannon)
Heh, I am feeling so so low right now. I really dont know what to do anymore. I am so desparate for a cigarrette right now. I am worried and nervous about tomorrow my open day interview and I know inside that I am not good enough for the position but i hope they think I am.
I am getting so desperate for a job now. Its getting me down so much. I have been feeling suicidal again, and it feels like there isnt anything I can do about it. I dont want to go to the doctors because they dont understand the pain I am in. I just want to end it al now. I was sat outside in the rain and got soaked and knew how easy it was for me to disappear again, and how much I wanted to be gone. Make everyones lives so much easier so much happier if I did just go. let everyone forget me. I am crying so much now. everyday is just a battle to stop me from hurting myself. I just want to let the pain take me completely because it hurts too much for me to cope with it.

I keep having nightmares and they kep changing so much and its making me to scared to get close to friends because I cant cope with the nightmares with them in and I just dont know what to do anymore.

Part of me thinks it will be so much easier to die then to face these fears and mnightmares . I always take the easy way out though, I guess that makes me so so weak. I wish people could see me for what i really am. But they don't
I used to want to study law but I know I will never get there I should give up all my hopes and dreams and become an empty shell again. At least then I didnt hurt so much

I have been wanting to hurt myself so so much to take out my pain hurt and anger but i promised someone I wouldn't even though right now I really need to.

I just want to be able to express this in my own way because I find it so much easier than talking about my problems, Because eventually I know that my problems will go and its easier coping with it by being in pain.

Sometimes I don't see the point in carrying on, just for everyone else's enjoyment of watching me suffer. Sometimes it feels like no one really does care, and then I feel so alone wih the voices I keep hearing. They keep telling me I deserve to be in pain, to hurt myself, to be alone and sometimes they are right sometimes I do deserve to be in pain for all the hurt and pain I cause others.

They tell me So many things so so much and most of it is true. They tell me how much I hurt those close to me and I know I do. and then they tell me I should hurt everyone hit them punch them kill them but I try blocking out and I feel so out of control. I dont want to go onto medication because I dont think it will help me at all..

I just want to fade away, It feels like my family really don't care anymore. they make me cry at night when they aren't about. I know my mum has her probl;ems but i constantly hear them complaining about me at night while i'm lying there in tears. I know I can never tell them what happened to me, I am a big enough failure as it is. Not received any jsa, and they having a go at me for it because theywant to take it from me as "rent and bills" Where ever I go everyone just uses me for money :'( My ex and now my family :'(
I dont know what to do anymore
It's not true. The voices lie, they always lie. You don't hurt the people close to you, they are close to you for a reason, they care for you. All of us here care for you. You have to understand that we all want you to get better, the voices are just a product of not being well and are out to make things worse. You have to learn to ignore them and focus on what the people who know you and care for you say if you insist on not going to the doctor about this.

That being said, I still think you need to go to the doctor. I know you feel like the medication won't help, but it will, trust me. Mine help me out massively and a doctor will understand and be compassionate about it. He will understand to an extent what you're going through.

Hurting solves nothing and nor does ending it. You want to escape the pain, I understand, but death isn't the answer, getting help is. Getting help so you can live happily is. It won't always be like this, but you need to take the step.

As for your family, if they're ignorant of what you're going through, the way they act can be understood if not excused. I know your mum has problems but she needs to know. When it all boils down to it, she's still your mum and she still cares and she and your whole family need to know what's happened.
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