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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Big hugs to both my fave MHSS ladies :jumphug: :penguinhug: :console: I'll be on Facebook chat and Skype later on (going out for lunch with mum. Gonna suggest a Brazilian steakhouse ) :yes:
    :love: :jumphug: Have a lovely time, hun. A Brazilian steakhouse sounds goooood


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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Big hugs to both my fave MHSS ladies :jumphug: :penguinhug: :console: I'll be on Facebook chat and Skype later on (going out for lunch with mum. Gonna suggest a Brazilian steakhouse ) :yes:
    Ooh nice, have fun.

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    To anyone in need of a laugh, would recommend this week's "Would I Lie to You?". Normally watch it casually but I'm hard to get an actual laugh out of, but this week's was excellent. Feel marginally more set up for the day's revision now.
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    I actually need some vodka or something to block this out... I want to run so far far far away from here :cry2:


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    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    I actually need some vodka or something to block this out... I want to run so far far far away from here :cry2:


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    Did they say how long you'd be in there for? I'm sure not for long


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    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    I actually need some vodka or something to block this out... I want to run so far far far away from here :cry2:


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    :hugs: No running pleaseee. I'd say no vodka but the way they're being with you at the moment is ridiculous :hugs: I will hopefully speak to you later. Can't cope at the moment my mind is haywire today so won't be much use to speak to anyway right now.
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    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Ooh nice, have fun.

    ----

    To anyone in need of a laugh, would recommend this week's "Would I Lie to You?". Normally watch it casually but I'm hard to get an actual laugh out of, but this week's was excellent. Feel marginally more set up for the day's revision now.
    There's aaaaaalways so much funny when David Mitchell just loses it. I LOVE his laugh. :love:

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    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Ooh nice, have fun.

    ----

    To anyone in need of a laugh, would recommend this week's "Would I Lie to You?". Normally watch it casually but I'm hard to get an actual laugh out of, but this week's was excellent. Feel marginally more set up for the day's revision now.
    Would I lie to you it's pretty hilarious, I prefer that then 8 out of 10 cats.


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    Even TV adverts are making me feel bad now :sad:

    Yet another boring day, not been out so far this weekend and haven't even had a shower today :eek:

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    I can't cope right now. My psychiatrist appointment is Tuesday but feelss like it's months away. Just want to bawl my eyes out. I want someone to fix me and fix everything that is ****. I can't do this.
    I also have 2 stupid ****ing essays to write for tomorrow. I'm not going to get the grades I need and stupid teacher won't ****ing tell me how to improve. gwih;hi;oagih;ogswsgdklklewfihoe rkldklgfoh
    Can't even physically cry that's how useless I am right now.

    Feeling unsafe in first time in quite a while.
    Possible ED/other triggers
    Spoiler:
    Show
    just want to stop eating because I feel like I should be punished.. feel like I should be feeling some sort of pain because I deserve it... feel like I should give in to it.. feel like I should give up on everything..
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    Hi, hope you're all feeling well today. I've been casually spying on you guys' posts for a while now :rolleyes: so I figure it's about time to introduce myself.

    I'm a bit of a confused mess, not really sure how I feel most of the time. I have some sort of mix of ocd and depression apparently. For me the depression peaked a few months back and I got paranoid and a bit self destructive so around then I decided to get help before I did myself permanent damage. Eventually I got a referral and since then things have been going well. Now instead of only getting occasional days where I can just about stomach life i'm getting more good days where I don't have to try to be happy and I just am. I'm still down and un-motivated most of the time and I still get the sort of thoughts I did before now and then but they're less intrusive and I can push them away. It still gets me down but it's no gunna stop me from getting on with my life any more. I still have some work to do but things are looking up. I have a sense of hope now that I don't think I ever really had before. Progress is slow but I have faith i'll get there in the end.

    Well that's me. Now to force myself to do some revision. Have a lovely day everyone
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    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    I actually need some vodka or something to block this out... I want to run so far far far away from here :cry2:


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    :jumphug: I hope you're doing a bit better now. Sorry stuff is so **** right now; I wish there was something better I could say but hang on in there. It will get better. :hugs:

    (Original post by Nut.)
    There's aaaaaalways so much funny when David Mitchell just loses it. I LOVE his laugh. :love:

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    This is very true. There was some great Mitchell this week.

    (Original post by SirHas)
    Would I lie to you it's pretty hilarious, I prefer that then 8 out of 10 cats.

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    Yeah me too, though I loved "8 out of 10 cats does countdown". Thought that was the perfect combination of geek and comedy. :love: Plus I adore Jon Richardson just a tiiiny bit.

    (Original post by avhhs)
    Even TV adverts are making me feel bad now :sad:

    Yet another boring day, not been out so far this weekend and haven't even had a shower today :eek:

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    Surely there's no such thing as a boring day this close to exams? I'd recommend showering and maybe a cup of tea for some energy, clearing yourself a revision space and giving that a go. Not long until exams are over and you'll be glad of any work you did once they are over.

    (Original post by ANONYM00SE)
    I can't cope right now. My psychiatrist appointment is Tuesday but feelss like it's months away. Just want to bawl my eyes out. I want someone to fix me and fix everything that is ****. I can't do this.
    I also have 2 stupid ****ing essays to write for tomorrow. I'm not going to get the grades I need and stupid teacher won't ****ing tell me how to improve. gwih;hi;oagih;ogswsgdklklewfihoe rkldklgfoh
    Can't even physically cry that's how useless I am right now.

    Feeling unsafe in first time in quite a while.
    Possible ED/other triggers
    Spoiler:
    Show
    just want to stop eating because I feel like I should be punished.. feel like I should be feeling some sort of pain because I deserve it... feel like I should give in to it.. feel like I should give up on everything..
    :hugs: I'm sorry you're not feeling safe. Having some eating issues myself and it's really helpful to me to view my body as a tool (and a pretty awesome one at that). So like today I'm planning quite a few hours of revision (2.5 down, 3.5 to go!) and I need to eat every few hours if I want to be able to do that. Viewing calories as fuel for me to get **** done is helpful because it stops me thinking about what I deserve or whatever and makes me view it in a more pragmatic (and I think healthier) way.

    I hope the psychiatrist is helpful on Tuesday. It might be a good idea to write some notes down to get the most that you can out of the appointment. Are you thinking you'll be started on new meds or is there anything else that he can help with, etc? I think if you write down what you are expecting or hoping for from the appointment it helps you not to forget and to assert exactly what might help.

    (Original post by Kindred)
    Hi, hope you're all feeling well today. I've been casually spying on you guys' posts for a while now :rolleyes: so I figure it's about time to introduce myself.

    I'm a bit of a confused mess, not really sure how I feel most of the time. I have some sort of mix of ocd and depression apparently. For me the depression peaked a few months back and I got paranoid and a bit self destructive so around then I decided to get help before I did myself permanent damage. Eventually I got a referral and since then things have been going well. Now instead of only getting occasional days where I can just about stomach life i'm getting more good days where I don't have to try to be happy and I just am. I'm still down and un-motivated most of the time and I still get the sort of thoughts I did before now and then but they're less intrusive and I can push them away. It still gets me down but it's no gunna stop me from getting on with my life any more. I still have some work to do but things are looking up. I have a sense of hope now that I don't think I ever really had before. Progress is slow but I have faith i'll get there in the end.

    Well that's me. Now to force myself to do some revision. Have a lovely day everyone
    :hi: I'm glad you're getting better, that's really great to hear. I'm doing better now than I was a couple of months ago, and progress really is hard sometimes. I don't know about you, but it's kind of up and down and wobbly for me, and I have to work really hard to accept the slumps and not just be like "oh nooooo I'm falling back into severe depression!" and not to push myself too hard on the days I feel ok.

    I hope you'll get a lot out of MHSS.

    -----

    Getting work done today, and feeling loosely positive about it. Finding it hard to concentrate but literally just forcing myself to take control of the things that I do have control over, and (wo)man the **** up (totally healthy attitude right? ).
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    Feeling really quite hopeless


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    (Original post by asdfgah)
    :hugs: I'm sorry you're not feeling safe. Having some eating issues myself and it's really helpful to me to view my body as a tool (and a pretty awesome one at that). So like today I'm planning quite a few hours of revision (2.5 down, 3.5 to go!) and I need to eat every few hours if I want to be able to do that. Viewing calories as fuel for me to get **** done is helpful because it stops me thinking about what I deserve or whatever and makes me view it in a more pragmatic (and I think healthier) way.

    I hope the psychiatrist is helpful on Tuesday. It might be a good idea to write some notes down to get the most that you can out of the appointment. Are you thinking you'll be started on new meds or is there anything else that he can help with, etc? I think if you write down what you are expecting or hoping for from the appointment it helps you not to forget and to assert exactly what might help.
    Spoilering the whole thing because I cba to pick bits out about eating etc.
    thanks for replying
    Spoiler:
    Show

    At the moment I can't do anything. I am virtually a cabbage right now. I can't revise at all. I've spent the last half an hour crying because I can only manage to write one line. I need to write 2 essays for tomorrow.
    Thanks. Last time I saw her she said I have treatment resistant depression and that meds are "toxic" to me, both physically and mentally. I've been on loads of different meds. Nothing works for me it all just makes me worse as well as physically ill. She also said I'll have depression for life just that it'll be manageable sometimes and up and down up and down up and down and what feels like more up and ****ing down It's been 5 years since I was diagnosed although I was most likely depressed from about 7 years old. Now I'm rambling. I just want to cry again everything is just ****. I don't know what I want to get out of my appointment I just want her to magically make everything better which I know won't happen but I just don't know. I just want to wither away and not exist anymore. I was seeing a psychologist but can't afford to see psychologist and psychiatrist. Psychiatrist also does CBT though I think which is what I was having with psychologist. Dunno I think I've CBT'd away as much of my problems as I can...
    I don't usually have problems eating. Well my relationship with food has always been difficult. About 7 years ago I wouldn't eat. Then the last 4 years it's been binge eating. The last 3 months I've been ok with food and finally got down to healthy weight from being overweight because of bingeing. Now the last few days just wanting to punish myself be that with stopping food or anything else.
    sorry I'm banging on and on about nothing

    I hope you're doing ok :hugs:
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    (Original post by SirHas)
    Did they say how long you'd be in there for? I'm sure not for long


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    No.. not given any indication at all :banghead: I've barely been eating again the last few days so that doesn't really help :/

    (Original post by ANONYM00SE)
    :hugs: No running pleaseee. I'd say no vodka but the way they're being with you at the moment is ridiculous :hugs: I will hopefully speak to you later. Can't cope at the moment my mind is haywire today so won't be much use to speak to anyway right now.
    :hugs: I'm really trying not to right now. I know right.. parents are coming later, so just asked them to bring some. Actually hoping they do aswell cause I cannot deal with another night like last night :cry2: It's fine really sending you massive hugs the now :jumphug:! You can get through your essays :yep: It's **** that your teacher is giving you no feedback for it :/ You're not useless, nor should you give up.. you can do this I have every faith in you :hugs: You're awesome and lovely and a very nice person and friend :jumphug:

    (Original post by asdfgah)
    :jumphug: I hope you're doing a bit better now. Sorry stuff is so **** right now; I wish there was something better I could say but hang on in there. It will get better. :hugs:
    :hugs: Trying very hard to hang on right now. Still feel like crap but hey ho. Hope your revision is going okay

    (Original post by IDukem)
    Yeah but you're a really small bug that can be stood on... unintentionally
    (Original post by IDukem)
    As will you I fall a sleep quickly because if i'm stressed out, I get tired so I fall a sleep It sucks when no one is around to chat though :-/

    Hahaaaaa, i'd literally have that little sparkle on my teeth that you see on t.v every now and then I know, i'm just stating the obvious haha. Seriously good plan that's not quite going to plan in terms of coursework. I got a lot of day left so i'll get something done

    :hugs: Is there no way you can avoid the nurse? Or request for a new one? I hope things improve for you

    :lovehug:


    Whest you haha, I can fly away from everyone so no one can hurt me, now that's a skill Haha, if I'm stressed I'm quite the opposite.. wide awake worrying
    :rolleyes: Been speaking to a few others on Skype the last few nights so it's not all bad :yep: was watching Eurovision last night

    Hahaha then all the girls will be after you - your sparkly teeth & your awesomeness :yep: Hope you managed to get your coursework done .. and I know today's Sunday.. so I hope your out shopping to your hearts content

    :hugs: No not really.. she pisses me off so much . Thanks anyway

    :lovehug:

    EDIT: IDukem - I have no idea why it's quoting you twice :facepalm: :confused:
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    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    No.. not given any indication at all :banghead: I've barely been eating again the last few days so that doesn't really help :/



    :hugs: I'm really trying not to right now. I know right.. parents are coming later, so just asked them to bring some. Actually hoping they do aswell cause I cannot deal with another night like last night :cry2: It's fine really sending you massive hugs the now :jumphug:! You can get through your essays :yep: It's **** that your teacher is giving you no feedback for it :/ You're not useless, nor should you give up.. you can do this I have every faith in you :hugs: You're awesome and lovely and a very nice person and friend :jumphug:
    :hugs: I hope you have a better night tonight and I hope your parents make you feel better
    I'm tempted to come to Scotland and kidnap you so we can **** off and do whatever the **** we want. I want to crawl in a hole and not come out until everything is ok again.
    I really can't get through it I'm just numb and distant and angry at the same time but want to cry. and confused. really confused. dunno wtf is going on in my head.
    you're awesome and lovely and nice too :hugs:
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    (Original post by ANONYM00SE)
    Spoilering the whole thing because I cba to pick bits out about eating etc.
    thanks for replying
    Spoiler:
    Show

    At the moment I can't do anything. I am virtually a cabbage right now. I can't revise at all. I've spent the last half an hour crying because I can only manage to write one line. I need to write 2 essays for tomorrow.
    Thanks. Last time I saw her she said I have treatment resistant depression and that meds are "toxic" to me, both physically and mentally. I've been on loads of different meds. Nothing works for me it all just makes me worse as well as physically ill. She also said I'll have depression for life just that it'll be manageable sometimes and up and down up and down up and down and what feels like more up and ****ing down It's been 5 years since I was diagnosed although I was most likely depressed from about 7 years old. Now I'm rambling. I just want to cry again everything is just ****. I don't know what I want to get out of my appointment I just want her to magically make everything better which I know won't happen but I just don't know. I just want to wither away and not exist anymore. I was seeing a psychologist but can't afford to see psychologist and psychiatrist. Psychiatrist also does CBT though I think which is what I was having with psychologist. Dunno I think I've CBT'd away as much of my problems as I can...
    I don't usually have problems eating. Well my relationship with food has always been difficult. About 7 years ago I wouldn't eat. Then the last 4 years it's been binge eating. The last 3 months I've been ok with food and finally got down to healthy weight from being overweight because of bingeing. Now the last few days just wanting to punish myself be that with stopping food or anything else.
    sorry I'm banging on and on about nothing

    I hope you're doing ok :hugs:
    :jumphug: :jumphug: :jumphug: sorry to hear you're not doing well at the moment :console: Sorry I can't really reply properly as I don't really have any words atm. I can relate to some of what you're saying though :console: I hope you'll be okay


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    (Original post by 08batee)
    :jumphug: :jumphug: :jumphug: sorry to hear you're not doing well at the moment :console: Sorry I can't really reply properly as I don't really have any words atm. I can relate to some of what you're saying though :console: I hope you'll be okay.


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    thanks :hugs: I hope you'll be ok too :hugs:
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    (Original post by ANONYM00SE)
    Spoilering the whole thing because I cba to pick bits out about eating etc.
    thanks for replying
    Spoiler:
    Show

    At the moment I can't do anything. I am virtually a cabbage right now. I can't revise at all. I've spent the last half an hour crying because I can only manage to write one line. I need to write 2 essays for tomorrow.
    Thanks. Last time I saw her she said I have treatment resistant depression and that meds are "toxic" to me, both physically and mentally. I've been on loads of different meds. Nothing works for me it all just makes me worse as well as physically ill. She also said I'll have depression for life just that it'll be manageable sometimes and up and down up and down up and down and what feels like more up and ****ing down It's been 5 years since I was diagnosed although I was most likely depressed from about 7 years old. Now I'm rambling. I just want to cry again everything is just ****. I don't know what I want to get out of my appointment I just want her to magically make everything better which I know won't happen but I just don't know. I just want to wither away and not exist anymore. I was seeing a psychologist but can't afford to see psychologist and psychiatrist. Psychiatrist also does CBT though I think which is what I was having with psychologist. Dunno I think I've CBT'd away as much of my problems as I can...
    I don't usually have problems eating. Well my relationship with food has always been difficult. About 7 years ago I wouldn't eat. Then the last 4 years it's been binge eating. The last 3 months I've been ok with food and finally got down to healthy weight from being overweight because of bingeing. Now the last few days just wanting to punish myself be that with stopping food or anything else.
    sorry I'm banging on and on about nothing

    I hope you're doing ok :hugs:
    Oops, I feel like a crap feminist for automatically assuming your psychiatrist was a guy.

    I'm obviously not a psychiatrist but it drives me up the wall when medical professionals label people as treatment resistant and then claim that means that no meds will work because it just doesn't. Treatment resistance is a failure to respond to (I think) 3 or more meds, including at least two different classes. Under that definition, I'm also 'treatment resistant,' because I didn't respond to citalopram, sertraline or venlafaxine. Now I'm on a more aggressive combination (venlafaxine and mirtazapine) I've seen a pretty good response. Unless they've tried you on combinations and meds from classes other than SSRIs and SNRIs (which have similar modes of action), there's no way they can judge that meds will never help.

    There are people on here who have tried more than half a dozen meds before they found a class or a combination which helped them, and I think any decent psychiatrist will keep trying meds if depression is severe enough. Just my opinion, though. I find CBT to be far more effective when I approach it with moderate depression than during severe depressive periods where I'm just completely numb to any help. Sorry, I hope none of that came across as rude to the psychiatrist or anything... I just know I would have felt totally hopeless if they weren't trying more meds for me, after being depressed for 5 years in this episode (have had 2 other episodes in the past, so similarly to you I had depression during childhood).

    :hugs: If you haven't had much to eat today, you might find that doing that helps with revision. My focus is bad with depression but when I combine depression with not eating properly it just goes out the window entirely.
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    (Original post by Kindred)
    Hi, hope you're all feeling well today. I've been casually spying on you guys' posts for a while now :rolleyes: so I figure it's about time to introduce myself.

    I'm a bit of a confused mess, not really sure how I feel most of the time. I have some sort of mix of ocd and depression apparently. For me the depression peaked a few months back and I got paranoid and a bit self destructive so around then I decided to get help before I did myself permanent damage. Eventually I got a referral and since then things have been going well. Now instead of only getting occasional days where I can just about stomach life i'm getting more good days where I don't have to try to be happy and I just am. I'm still down and un-motivated most of the time and I still get the sort of thoughts I did before now and then but they're less intrusive and I can push them away. It still gets me down but it's no gunna stop me from getting on with my life any more. I still have some work to do but things are looking up. I have a sense of hope now that I don't think I ever really had before. Progress is slow but I have faith i'll get there in the end.

    Well that's me. Now to force myself to do some revision. Have a lovely day everyone
    I'm glad to hear things are looking up for you! What was it that helped you get better? Therapy, medication, other stuff?

    I've had depression for around six years now i think, sometimes its hard to remember when it really started, since you often have that "denial" period where you dont think you are, you just think its you that's making a big deal of everything.

    Most days i feel pretty ****...working to make things better but i dont see myself ever truly getting better.
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    (Original post by ANONYM00SE)
    :hugs: I hope you have a better night tonight and I hope your parents make you feel better
    I'm tempted to come to Scotland and kidnap you so we can **** off and do whatever the **** we want. I want to crawl in a hole and not come out until everything is ok again.
    I really can't get through it I'm just numb and distant and angry at the same time but want to cry. and confused. really confused. dunno wtf is going on in my head.
    you're awesome and lovely and nice too :hugs:
    Thanks haha knowing my parents they won't make me feel better at all :nah: :rolleyes: ach well.

    Do it!! I'll keep an eye for a moose since I don't know what you look like :L :ninja: That be awesome though, just upping and leaving and not having to worry about ****. :hugs: I know that feeling... buuuut we will through this :yep: #TeamIBelieveFireMoose
    :hugs: Try and take a break from it, and go off and do something else. Maybe go for a walk and clear your head? I know when I'm feeling that towards work, I go off and watch telly or something and then come back to with a much clearer head.
    :jumphug:
 
 
 
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