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    (Original post by Mechie)
    You know what's great? Sitting eating a panini by yourself every time you're in uni across lunch because you have no friends.
    I'm sorry to hear that, but again I can only advise you to throw yourself into the deep end. Has your university/ course got its own facebook page? If so, why not post something like 'Just sat in cafe X going over the reading for today's lecture - anyone want to join me?' That then gets a conversation going where people can comment and join you. Like other people have said, you just need to keep going, but you do need to throw yourself in at the deep end with this because you'll have the same situation when you first start work and learning those social skills now will help you no end in later life.
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    Isn't the Sumatran tiger cub cute?
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    Thanks guys This post might be massive because I'm going to reply to you all in a one-er. I think it's important to note that I'm not a first year (where everyone would be in the same boat at the beginning), I'm a 3rd year direct entrant.

    (Original post by nixonsjellybeans)
    Chin up starshine, letting it beat you is no good. I'd happily eat a panini with you, although whether you would wanna eat with me is another thing You asked anybody if you can join them for some grub or whatever?
    Thanks man, this post genuinely made me feel slightly better when I read it yesterday at uni. I actually spoke a wee bit to some people on the first or second day, and had lunch with them once. I tried speaking to them after that and sitting next to them but they didn't really speak to me and didn't make me feel welcome in their group really, I just got the feeling they weren't interested in speaking to me. You're right, I can't let it beat me, although I feel I kinda have sometimes. Quite a few times I've thought of asking "so what are you doing for lunch?" but I just end up thinking it and thinking I'll do it then backing out because I'm too nervous about it. We've just been made into groups for a project, which is good I suppose, but obviously I ended up being one of the people down the front that aren't in a group. I ended up in a team with 3 French people who hang about together and 2 Malaysians that hang about together, so I feel kinda like an outsider in this group already! I'll just have to try and make the most of it I suppose.

    (Original post by Blue Meltwater)
    Your lunches sound just as exciting as mine! Have you been getting involved with many societies? I've found they're where I'm meeting the most like-minded people.

    It's also reassuring to know that some would argue friendships formed within the first weeks are often overrated. I'm really not convinced true friendships can be formed in such a short space of time.
    I don't know if I'm technically a fresher, as I'm going in at 3rd year, but I'd like some friends on my course. I've joined the electrical engineering society, and they're having a night out a week today which would be a good way to meet people, but I'd have to go and not drink if I went, as I don't live at the uni and I'd need to take the car, which wouldn't make me out to be the most fun person! Also if I'd had some drinks it might be easier for me to speak to people So all in all I'm undecided on whether to go. I also joined the tennis club (which was extortionate by the way, £75 to join the sports union?!) so I'm going to that on Saturday and I'll see how it goes.

    (Original post by Jarred)
    Replace "panini" with "mini tiger baguette from Tesco" and you've summed up my 2012/13 year. I guess with that, the key is to take comfort in the fact that you're not the only one, there are tons of people in the same situation so you're not alone.

    Is the problem that you're finding it hard to make the first step, ie: introduce yourself to people? Or is the problem that you're finding it hard to turn these introductions into friendships rather than just some guy you make small talk with once and never talk to again? Maybe a little of both?

    I'd say not to feel too bad about it whichever one it is. It can be pretty worrying, I know. But it's early days at the moment, right?
    Hmm, it it kinda early doors, but I'm in week 3 so it's not that early. I'm definitely finding it hard introducing myself to people. Everyone already knows each other and has their little groups, and I'm nowhere near confident enough around people I don't know. As I said to jellybeans, I did speak to some people a bit, but I didn't feel very welcome with them. When I went for lunch with them I just kinda drifted with them to lunch, and I didn't feel too welcome. Sure, they didn't complain about me being there, and a couple told me their names, but it didn't progress beyond that. Meh, maybe my chat isn't good enough. I don't know.

    (Original post by toronto353)
    I'm sorry to hear that, but again I can only advise you to throw yourself into the deep end. Has your university/ course got its own facebook page? If so, why not post something like 'Just sat in cafe X going over the reading for today's lecture - anyone want to join me?' That then gets a conversation going where people can comment and join you. Like other people have said, you just need to keep going, but you do need to throw yourself in at the deep end with this because you'll have the same situation when you first start work and learning those social skills now will help you no end in later life.
    I'm in the course facebook group. I'd feel very self conscious about doing that, because people would say things about it, like did you see what that guy posted etc and I don't think it would be very positive and might look a bit desperate. I think it could be a decent idea, but I'm not too certain about it. Although, as you said, maybe I should just throw myself in at the deep end.

    Thanks for replying guys.
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    (Original post by Mechie)
    Thanks man, this post genuinely made me feel slightly better when I read it yesterday at uni. I actually spoke a wee bit to some people on the first or second day, and had lunch with them once. I tried speaking to them after that and sitting next to them but they didn't really speak to me and didn't make me feel welcome in their group really, I just got the feeling they weren't interested in speaking to me. You're right, I can't let it beat me, although I feel I kinda have sometimes. Quite a few times I've thought of asking "so what are you doing for lunch?" but I just end up thinking it and thinking I'll do it then backing out because I'm too nervous about it. We've just been made into groups for a project, which is good I suppose, but obviously I ended up being one of the people down the front that aren't in a group. I ended up in a team with 3 French people who hang about together and 2 Malaysians that hang about together, so I feel kinda like an outsider in this group already! I'll just have to try and make the most of it I suppose.
    No problem, I hate seeing people on their own at uni, its like a personal crusade or something. Well least your thinking of the right things to say just gotta push that little bit extra, besides the societies you mentioned might work out better Hard luck about the group, theres always one dodgy group. Saying that the French and Malaysians I met were barmy and pretty funny :lol:
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    (Original post by nixonsjellybeans)
    No problem, I hate seeing people on their own at uni, its like a personal crusade or something. Well least your thinking of the right things to say just gotta push that little bit extra, besides the societies you mentioned might work out better Hard luck about the group, theres always one dodgy group. Saying that the French and Malaysians I met were barmy and pretty funny :lol:
    That's really good of you. How serious are you about this crusade? :holmes: Enough for you to come up and have paninis with me?

    We definitely have the dodgy group! None of us have been through 1st and 2nd year of the course, which isn't ideal at all. That means that none of us know what's been taught before (unless one of the others knows, with a slice of luck, because I certainly don't!). So I'm worried academically and socially now :lol: I'll just have to try to impress as much as I can myself. It would help a bit if the French wouldn't speak French and Malaysians wouldn't speak Malaysian (?) to each other all the time when I'm there, it's a bit disconcerting!
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    (Original post by Mechie)
    That's really good of you. How serious are you about this crusade? :holmes: Enough for you to come up and have paninis with me?

    We definitely have the dodgy group! None of us have been through 1st and 2nd year of the course, which isn't ideal at all. That means that none of us know what's been taught before (unless one of the others knows, with a slice of luck, because I certainly don't!). So I'm worried academically and socially now :lol: I'll just have to try to impress as much as I can myself. It would help a bit if the French wouldn't speak French and Malaysians wouldn't speak Malaysian (?) to each other all the time when I'm there, it's a bit disconcerting!
    Enough to charge about the place :horse: Depends on how far away you are where you at anyway? I forgot like a good friend does. If we both make it to any potential MHoC meetup then i'll bring some communist socialist paninis

    Offt without a doubt the dodgy group and yeah thats not great really hmm.
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    (Original post by nixonsjellybeans)
    Enough to charge about the place :horse: Depends on how far away you are where you at anyway? I forgot like a good friend does. If we both make it to any potential MHoC meetup then i'll bring some communist socialist paninis

    Offt without a doubt the dodgy group and yeah thats not great really hmm.
    Heriot Watt in Edinburgh. Socialist paninis you say? Sounds good!

    It isn't great, but I'll need to just roll with it. The thing is that I had a couple of chances to join another group. One was when I saw a guy I'd vaguely spoken to look for another member to complete his group. I stood there thinking I should go and ask if I could join, but in the end he got someone else. Another time was when I was standing with the ungrouped people at the front and someone submitted a group one short to the lecturer who asked who wanted to tag into that group. I stood thinking I should, but in the end I didn't and someone else did. Damn my lack of confidence.
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    (Original post by Mechie)
    Heriot Watt in Edinburgh. Socialist paninis you say? Sounds good!

    It isn't great, but I'll need to just roll with it. The thing is that I had a couple of chances to join another group. One was when I saw a guy I'd vaguely spoken to look for another member to complete his group. I stood there thinking I should go and ask if I could join, but in the end he got someone else. Another time was when I was standing with the ungrouped people at the front and someone submitted a group one short to the lecturer who asked who wanted to tag into that group. I stood thinking I should, but in the end I didn't and someone else did. Damn my lack of confidence.
    I thought it was in Scotland, I haven't been up there for a few years which is a shame really. Indeed, liberated freshly

    I'm sure you'll be fine, we all have those moments lemme know how you get on anyway.
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    (Original post by Mechie)
    Heriot Watt in Edinburgh. Socialist paninis you say?
    Oh, you're incredibly close! I know a couple of people studying at Heriot Watt.

    (Original post by Mechie)
    I don't know if I'm technically a fresher, as I'm going in at 3rd year, but I'd like some friends on my course. I've joined the electrical engineering society, and they're having a night out a week today which would be a good way to meet people, but I'd have to go and not drink if I went, as I don't live at the uni and I'd need to take the car, which wouldn't make me out to be the most fun person!
    I really hate the drinking culture at universities. I don't drink as a lifestyle choice, which made things pretty awkward on the first few days though I've fortunately since found people who don't care all that much. I imagine there's a few people not too keen on the drinking culture but don't want to admit it in case it marks them as different (or worse, as I've often been told, leaves them open to getting drinks spiked :dry: ).
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    (Original post by Saoirse:3)
    Is it really democratic for a majority to rule a minority and ignore their viewpoints?
    (Original post by Kittiara)
    I disagree with that. I think an MP should always vote with their conscience.
    Like the socialists the Tories have long since operated differently, i'm not the first leader to whip a vote (hell in the 15th parliament every vote was whipped - amazingly whip compliance was 90%+ though) and in general there's more people than normal in this House who like to operate competitively. When me and Jarred fought the leadership election there were a lot of calls from the wider party to return us to government, contrast this to the likes of the Socialists or the Libertarians of old who wanted no part in what appeared to view as a pointless endeavour. We are also somewhat unique in our sheer broadness on social issues, we have members who support the death penalty (probably MP's even) while at the same time we have libertarians who would be happy with essentially open borders. Where we are commonly united is around the economy, while there are some economic issues that see division it's rare that we'd oppose tax cuts, cuts in spending or marketization.

    In regards to the crux of your input I recognise that there are advantages and disadvantages (most non-party bills are entirely free votes) but its also worth bearing in mind the systems of old. In the past the party operated on the basis that the leader would approve or disapprove of a bill and then that would be it (many parties still operate this way) however despite no opposition to particular policies there was a discussion regarding some MP's who had stated they would prefer not to vote in line with a particular party bill and so I made the decision to give the choice to the party. While I understand your point to have Tory MP's vote against a party bill approved by the party would render the process pointless. At the extreme we could see a repeat of the Salary Cap Bill whereby of 14 Labour MP's, just 6 voted for the bill.

    In simple terms it has been my belief that the party has a choice. It can leave MP's to it and become a tighter unit in terms of ideology or it can remain the broad entity it is today (I've had defections or requests from the Liberals, Libertarians and Ukip in the past - One saying that it was the broad depth of the party which he found attractive) but by exercising a degree of democratic control. Given the member requests and the fact that every party of the center and right has requested coalition with us I would say that our biggest advantage over other parties is our depth and that we are the star to other parties planets and so on the whole I think the way I've operated as party leader has being a good thing.

    Of course the new leader may think entirely differently.

    Contrast this to the dynamic of the left in which it was demanded that Labour change its views to go into a Socialist coalition despite their electoral superiority and the way in which their membership was castrated afterward. This forced narrow viewpoint (if that is what led to their downfall before Status gave them an identity again) means that right now Labour is a planet to the greens bourgeoning sun.
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    (Original post by Birchington)
    Am I the only person who hasn't seen Breaking Bad?
    You're definitely not the only one!

    I've watched (and love) The Wire, and I have heard that Breaking Bad is equally good viewing, but I don't know... when I look on IMDB, its description doesn't really appeal to me.

    I might give it a chance one day, though.
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    (Original post by thunder_chunky)
    Good one .

    Best I don't get started on the topic of Atos and the WCAs, because I'll be here all day! And I am supposed to be responding to the post Rakas made above .
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    (Original post by Kittiara)
    You're definitely not the only one!

    I've watched (and love) The Wire, and I have heard that Breaking Bad is equally good viewing, but I don't know... when I look on IMDB, its description doesn't really appeal to me.

    I might give it a chance one day, though.
    it's really good, you have to stick with it a bit I found cause I wasn't overly sure about the first couple of episodes.

    I'm in the other camp cause I haven't seen The Wire on my to watch list but I already have a ton of stuff to catch up on haha, my next viewing is the last 8 episodes of the latest season of Supernatural (which is a show is awesome btw :yep:)

    I watch far too much tv
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    (Original post by Birchington)
    Am I the only person who hasn't seen Breaking Bad?
    Nope I haven't seen it either. I'm sure I'll get around to it when I have time, which at this rate will probably be when I retire.

    (Original post by barnetlad)
    No, you are not alone. I've never seen Star Wars either.
    Not interested or simply haven't gotten around to it yet?
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    (Original post by SciFiRory)
    it's really good, you have to stick with it a bit I found cause I wasn't overly sure about the first couple of episodes.

    I'm in the other camp cause I haven't seen The Wire on my to watch list but I already have a ton of stuff to catch up on haha, my next viewing is the last 8 episodes of the latest season of Supernatural (which is a show is awesome btw :yep:)

    I watch far too much tv
    When HMV was closing down I was about to go on a trip to Plymouth for Work so I got Game of Thrones season 1 on DVD. I also got The Sopranos and The Wire box sets for about £20-£25 each. I'm gradually working my way through them. HMV closing down was a shame but it did mean a ton of decent boxsets were going for a steal.
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    (Original post by thunder_chunky)
    When HMV was closing down I was about to go on a trip to Plymouth for Work so I got Game of Thrones season 1 on DVD. I also got The Sopranos and The Wire box sets for about £20-£25 each. I'm gradually working my way through them. HMV closing down was a shame but it did mean a ton of decent boxsets were going for a steal.
    cool, HMV in Bath is still open though I tend to buy stuff online as it's cheaper tbh, Game of Thrones is great but I'm behind on that as well! (I think I am like 2-3 episodes into season 3!), not watched much of The Sopranos either, though I got the first season on blu-ray as a gift ages ago so it's another high on my to watch list
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    (Original post by Mechie)
    THmm, it it kinda early doors, but I'm in week 3 so it's not that early. I'm definitely finding it hard introducing myself to people. Everyone already knows each other and has their little groups, and I'm nowhere near confident enough around people I don't know. As I said to jellybeans, I did speak to some people a bit, but I didn't feel very welcome with them. When I went for lunch with them I just kinda drifted with them to lunch, and I didn't feel too welcome. Sure, they didn't complain about me being there, and a couple told me their names, but it didn't progress beyond that. Meh, maybe my chat isn't good enough. I don't know.
    I'd say week 3 is pretty early, it may seem like a while but in reality it's just two and a bit weeks, right? I wouldn't worry about it, you'll find some people to hang out with eventually I'm sure. I find it hard to introduce myself to new people as well, to be honest, I get the feeling that it's actually pretty normal. So what if we're not massive extroverts? Society says we need to be, I say screw what society thinks. I think if you do your best to try and introduce yourself to new people every day then you'll eventually find some people to hang out with, at times it can be tough and may seem futile as you may just fall into small talk half of the time, but the more often you do it the higher the chances are of you meeting a friend. Maybe even set targets of talking to x number of people everyday if you're having trouble forcing yourself to do it. It gets easier everyday if you persist.

    One final suggestion, have you told anyone you've met that you are new to the year group? Maybe they'll make more of an effort to get to know you if they know you're new? I know I would, and whilst I'm not exactly a perfect indicator of the population, I'd wager some other people would be of the same thought.
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    (Original post by Rakas21)
    Like the socialists the Tories have long since operated differently, i'm not the first leader to whip a vote (hell in the 15th parliament every vote was whipped - amazingly whip compliance was 90%+ though) and in general there's more people than normal in this House who like to operate competitively. When me and Jarred fought the leadership election there were a lot of calls from the wider party to return us to government, contrast this to the likes of the Socialists or the Libertarians of old who wanted no part in what appeared to view as a pointless endeavour. We are also somewhat unique in our sheer broadness on social issues, we have members who support the death penalty (probably MP's even) while at the same time we have libertarians who would be happy with essentially open borders. Where we are commonly united is around the economy, while there are some economic issues that see division it's rare that we'd oppose tax cuts, cuts in spending or marketization.

    In regards to the crux of your input I recognise that there are advantages and disadvantages (most non-party bills are entirely free votes) but its also worth bearing in mind the systems of old. In the past the party operated on the basis that the leader would approve or disapprove of a bill and then that would be it (many parties still operate this way) however despite no opposition to particular policies there was a discussion regarding some MP's who had stated they would prefer not to vote in line with a particular party bill and so I made the decision to give the choice to the party. While I understand your point to have Tory MP's vote against a party bill approved by the party would render the process pointless. At the extreme we could see a repeat of the Salary Cap Bill whereby of 14 Labour MP's, just 6 voted for the bill.

    In simple terms it has been my belief that the party has a choice. It can leave MP's to it and become a tighter unit in terms of ideology or it can remain the broad entity it is today (I've had defections or requests from the Liberals, Libertarians and Ukip in the past - One saying that it was the broad depth of the party which he found attractive) but by exercising a degree of democratic control. Given the member requests and the fact that every party of the center and right has requested coalition with us I would say that our biggest advantage over other parties is our depth and that we are the star to other parties planets and so on the whole I think the way I've operated as party leader has being a good thing.

    Of course the new leader may think entirely differently.

    Contrast this to the dynamic of the left in which it was demanded that Labour change its views to go into a Socialist coalition despite their electoral superiority and the way in which their membership was castrated afterward. This forced narrow viewpoint (if that is what led to their downfall before Status gave them an identity again) means that right now Labour is a planet to the greens bourgeoning sun.
    As this is my first term in the MHoC, I am not that familiar with how the various parties worked in the past. I reckon that each party has to figure out what works best for them. For example, I have learned that the Socialist Party has a different leadership system altogether, and they seem happy with that.

    Personally, I wouldn't do well in a party with whipped votes. If, for example, the party majority approved a bill calling for the death penalty (very unlikely to ever happen), and pressure was placed on me to support it... well, it simply wouldn't happen. Whilst I understand the benefits of party unison and being a competitive force within the House, I favour party consensus on what we submit to the House, whilst respecting that there may well be those who are ideologically opposed. This may lead to us being less competitive, also because, like the Conversative Party, the Greens welcome those with a variety of views and ideologies, but so be it. Ultimately, I trust that Green Party members will do the right thing for the party and its interests.

    I don't think there's a right way or a wrong way to go about it, though. Each party leader, and each party membership, has to determine what is suitable. This may be a process of trial and error, or it may be straightforward to determine. It's the diversity of our various parties and the way that they function that makes this House a rather fascinating and competitive place to be.
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    (Original post by SciFiRory)
    it's really good, you have to stick with it a bit I found cause I wasn't overly sure about the first couple of episodes.

    I'm in the other camp cause I haven't seen The Wire on my to watch list but I already have a ton of stuff to catch up on haha, my next viewing is the last 8 episodes of the latest season of Supernatural (which is a show is awesome btw :yep:)

    I watch far too much tv
    I totally understand about giving a series a chance, and not giving up during the first couple of episodes! It's the same thing with The Wire, for me. For the first couple of episodes, I found it difficult to follow, because there are a lot of characters to get to know, and because I didn't really understand what half of them were saying . I think that's because English is my second language, and whilst it generally doesn't give me much trouble, quite a few of the characters in The Wire use a type of slang that I wasn't familiar with. It took me a while to get it. Perseverance paid off, though, because it's now one of my favourite series.

    Though Buffy the Vampire Slayer is still my all-time favourite .
 
 
 
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