Depression Society MkII

Do you know how much it costs to send a letter or package from England to Canada? Because if it's around a tenner then I could write you a nice long letter/send a painting your way to brighten up the basement but moreso for you. Or is your phone triband? Because mine is and that means that it works in the UK, USA and Canada. So I could send you an interesting text or so every day if you wanted.

I've been readint through many of the posts on this thred and I can relate to them a lot.

I have been suffering from depression since my early teens (I'm 21 now). I have had some really low moments but also some moments where I've been proud of my self because I've been able to fight my depression and start to enjoy life again.

However, the last 12 months, I've been very depressed and got worse through out the year, its affected my uniiversity results, I got 60%, the year before I got 69%, that year, I was relatively happy and more motivated with life.

I had a **** summer last year, stayed in bed, did nothing, was so down and low - relationship problems etc... resulted on my depression returning and it did with a vengence.

In order to not let last summer repeat its self I decided to book a course in Spain to work in a hotel whilst learning Spanish. I went a few weeks ago but I came home a few days later. Reason being, I was very anxious, it completely overwhelmed me. I would lock my self in my room and be too scared to see the manager or the other work people. I left. I regret it so much but at the time I had to leave, I was far too down and fed up.

Situation is now - I remain very down and fed up but I'm at home - which I hate. It makes me depressed a lot, for numerous reasons, perhaps too long to list here for the time being.

Anyway - I was wondering what you guys would do in my situation? Would you go back to Spain and do the course again or would you fear your depressin would ruin it again and affecting your moral even further - however, staying at home does the same thing. I dunno what is best.

Am sorry for not replying sabertooth, caroline and deathdrop. Have had a really rough few days. I feel so low. Like there is a weight in side of me, am in so much pain. It hurts so ****ing much. Every heartbeat is such an effort, it feels almost as if my blood has turned to treacle.

Bruce, I don't know what else to say. Sorry.

orangeboy I am not too sure what to suggest. Try to not let your depression effect your life, try to get out of bed and do something. I know it is easier said than done.

for anyone else who needs them

Hi Immunity. Sorry to hear you've had a bad few days. Do you know what's made you feel this way? Have you managed to eat anything?

Hey.

Sounds like you're in a bit of a **** situation, depression sucks, and I can relate a lot to what you're saying. Regarding the Spain thing which seems to be your main concern here, correct me if I'm wrong, I'd say probably don't do it. At least, that's what I'd be inclined to do. If you can feel your depression worsening then there's a possibility you'll not be able to do it second time either leading to you feeling even worse, wasting more money, time and effort. Are you getting any help for depression? You could focus your efforts for now on trying to get better, surely the Spain thing will still be there next year? Are you back at uni in september? Perhaps you could do an evening language course at your uni. But I think the priority now is to get help and hopefully start to feel better. You could get a few language books and try teaching yourself to start off, it wouldn't be as overwhelming as going to Spain to learn. Sure, you wouldn't have the experience either, but there's always next year for that by which time you might be feeling better and a bit better at Spanish too. Make sure you're not just bumming about though if you decide not to go back to Spain, that's terrible for depression, do anything, join a gym, sports club, music group, get the books on Spanish etc, anything to make sure you're not bored and have time to dwell on matters if you don't go.

I dunno tbh Just my thoughts on reading your post. Of course it's up to you, you should do what you think best, maybe ask in h&r to get some other people's perspectives on it?

Whatever you do, good luck

Didnt sleep well last night, well i thought I did but im still exhausted. I dont know why I am all the time, this is getting ridiculous. The doctor wont do anything about it because she doesnt know whats causing it. After some blood tests its been decided that its nothing lacking/far too much of in my blood, so it must be stressed. But I dont know if i am, im coping ok... its just being exhausted which is making me stressed.

I can relate a lot to what you said orangeboy as i've been there before and it's a terrible place I think staying confined inside and risking getting more down in a hole is a dangerous thing, as it can go a long way and can go on for some time. You just need something to keep you occupied and try and get things going again after such a relapse. Maybe travelling all the way to Spain is a too stressful thing at this moment, i don't know what to suggest though. I just hope you'll keep yourself well and on track.

I hope this for everyone else too and a to you all.

Why does life have to plunge so quickly into a mire of ****?

I just loicked my self in my hotel room and refused to speak to anyone... it sounds crazy but my mind just won't let me go. I just feel like something very bad is going to happen or I'll make a tit out of my self.

Spain - it does sound like too much stress for me at the moment. I have to admit it but as I've said in other posts - there are factors that are wanting me to go.

I have exactly the same problem.

Everytime I wake up I feel just as tired as when I went to sleep. causing you to feel knackered all day, low concentration etc and it ruins your day.

Do you dream a lot and sometimes are really heavy ones?

The reason why this is happening is because of depression. Your mind is over active and unable to chill out.

Cure? Wish there was a quick solution. Its going to take a while. You have firstly got to get into a decent sleep pattern, then relax as much as you can (2 hours before bed) and the biggy.... compact the depression. The last one - I probably wouldn't be here if I knew how to do this.

Thanks for your advice, I do chill out before bed though. I wach friends for an hour and then try and sleep but I cant

I do dream and they are sometimes heavy, and sometimes, they arent. I just seem to be getting vivid ones. Often im being chased, and i hate it because I wake up scared and euch.

How do you relax?

I dont think we've met, im Sitara, a.k.a Siti, call me whatever you prefer, most people call me siti on here, so i dont mind if you call me that. Do you study at uni or college etc? I would like to get to know you if thats ok.

Siti xxx