Join TSR now and chat about whatever you’re intoSign up now
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Eboracum)
    Need some advice gentlemen (and ladies). I like to think we can help each other on here. Might as well man up and admit it. Bored of being single, want a relationship. Having a light dabble on a dating website (modern world and all). A friend had great success, 20 one night stands and a 3 year relationship out of it. I admit many of the people on it are riff-raff, but every now and again you find a cracker. I want looks + personality + ambition for a future Eboracum +1. Anyway, think I've found one. Chatting away getting on well, I asked for a date (after about 4 days chatting...why wait right), she said something like you seem lovely, we've got common interests, but how about we chat on Facebook for now.

    Need a second opinion...thoughts on this? My view was she is interested, perhaps just nervous about the whole online thing. Or is she playing games? If she is I'll bin her instantly. I don't mess about. Only games I play are beating Jam on Fifa.

    Thank-you
    Since you've been talking for only 4 days she might feel like it's progressing too quickly and she probably wants to find out more about you and if your 'Mr Right' for her. Talking with her on FB is a good start since she obviously seems keen on you for wanting to carry on chatting. I say give it a bit more time and let her feel more comfortable talking to you and then set up a date. Also, she might be worried about your intentions for wanting to see her so soon i.e. you only want to have sex with her. It's going to take a little bit of time and you don't want to rush into a relationship just for the sake of it. Good luck Eb, I hope things work out for you.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Looks like I don't have a clue...


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by AR_95)
    Haha, I'm Anti-feminists but have nothing against feminism, if that also makes sense?
    So basically you're a feminist in denial?

    Will see you at slut walk next year xx
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jam277)
    So basically you're a feminist in denial?

    Will see you at slut walk next year xx

    More so I'm ok with the initial concept/idea of it but don't think it's carried out/campaigned for in the right way. E.g think a lot of feminists are too extreme and anti male

    It's just one of those things, bit like communism.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by AR_95)
    More so I'm ok with the initial concept/idea of it but don't think it's carried out/campaigned for in the right way. E.g think a lot of feminists are too extreme and anti men
    I was joking b. I get you though.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by The.Joker)
    Since you've been talking for only 4 days she might feel like it's progressing too quickly and she probably wants to find out more about you and if your 'Mr Right' for her. Talking with her on FB is a good start since she obviously seems keen on you for wanting to carry on chatting. I say give it a bit more time and let her feel more comfortable talking to you and then set up a date. Also, she might be worried about your intentions for wanting to see her so soon i.e. you only want to have sex with her. It's going to take a little bit of time and you don't want to rush into a relationship just for the sake of it. Good luck Eb, I hope things work out for you.

    A bengali girl like you should be focusing on her studies and not relationships!
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by AR_95)
    A bengali girl like you should be focusing on her studies and not relationships!
    AR pls :lol:

    I can do both...
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by The.Joker)
    AR pls :lol:

    I can do both...


    I'm telling your mum so you're sent back to Dhaka. I hear the Indian football commentary of the premier league is stellar.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Eboracum)
    You an expert with women as well?

    Yeah man, tbh I'm not sure I can be bothered to chat on Fb...

    Really annoys me that women have all the power in dating when you are in your 20s, they are the ones that get to say yes or no and get to decide speed and terms. So annoying man. Another reason why I'm anti-Feminism in the modern age.
    I absolutely disagree, change the state of play. Women are afraid of being rejected by high value men and especially high value men they like. Hell, read the relationship forum threads from young women here, full of angst. With that mind, I am not a betting man, but I bet that if you built up a rapport/banter with her and then ****ed off for a few days... that would definitely **** with her mind. It's all a play.

    There's several facets to this thing.
    1. What you bring to the table. Do you have aspects of yourself that trumps her value? Can you bring it to light without having so much arrogance that turns her away too soon?

    The main "power" of women you speak of in their 20's is that they have choice. If they obviously have this power, take away this power, put yourself into centre stage in her mind. You do this by also having choice in your life and being clever about it without burning the bridges you have built.

    2. Chemistry. I believe this can be created by men who are naturally smooth with it or are experienced after a lot of trial and error. Imo if she is not a slut, you need the chemistry and sometimes the fear of losing you/losing you to a rival for your affection.

    3. Be bold. Men who ponce around get put in the friend zone as they don't have the bravery, it communicates the wrong qualities. It's like being a striker, you don't score if you are not brave. If you miss? Play it down and be unaffected to her face. Call it mistake if you must and move on to other girls whilst keeping her on the backburner.


    These three facets btw are what the stereotypical complaining "nice guy" tend to miss. They have no qualities usually except from being nice. But they were 'nice' right and she should date them because of that? :lol:
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by AR_95)
    I'm telling your mum so you're sent back to Dhaka. I hear the Indian football commentary of the premier league is stellar.
    Maybe I can play for the Bangladesh team then haha
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by AR_95)
    More so I'm ok with the initial concept/idea of it but don't think it's carried out/campaigned for in the right way. E.g think a lot of feminists are too extreme and anti male

    It's just one of those things, bit like communism.
    I do actually agree with the core values but this modern feminism is basically an ostentatious cult, it's just a middle class white student women's bonding thing while posturing as victims when they aren't.

    They think they know more about racism than minorities for ****'s sake. That actually bugs me. If you are from Surrey and the closest you've been to a black* person is hearing ****** in Paris on radio you can stick your ****ing lecture up your ****.

    *Sorry, POC :rolleyes:
    • Arsenal FC Supporter
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Eboracum)
    X
    :unimpressed:


    -seems as though I've missed a fair bit on here..
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Wilfred Little)
    I do actually agree with the core values but this modern feminism is basically an ostentatious cult, it's just a middle class white student women's bonding thing while posturing as victims when they aren't.

    They think they know more about racism than minorities for ****'s sake. That actually bugs me. If you are from Surrey and the closest you've been to a black* person is hearing ****** in Paris on radio you can stick your ****ing lecture up your ****.

    *Sorry, POC :rolleyes:
    Indeed, indeed. Ask them if they care about minority women working their fingers to the bone in Primark sweat shops for the clothes they wear. Essentially, modern feminist groups are self-interest groups, more a pressure group for their own intents and purposes rather than a drive for all women. Throw in the token trip to Africa campaign and it all seems legitimate though right?

    The absolute worst are your upper middle class types that think that just because they have studied a 'relevant' module here or there they are qualified to lecture/ 'educate' that minority about their own culture/heritage. This is a different type of racism, one that is so convinced by it's own intellectualism that they believe themselves superior/more qualified and tbh, most likely even more racist than your average skinhead on the street. Because they guys have half backed up academic arguments they have spent the time to think about...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by AR_95)
    A bengali girl like you should be focusing on her studies and not relationships!
    bantah
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Tom_Ford)
    Indeed, indeed. Ask them if they care about minority women working their fingers to the bone in Primark sweat shops for the clothes they wear. Essentially, modern feminist groups are self-interest groups, more a pressure group for their own intents and purposes rather than a drive for all women. Throw in the token trip to Africa campaign and it all seems legitimate though right?

    The absolute worst are your upper middle class types that think that just because they have studied a 'relevant' module here or there they are qualified to lecture/ 'educate' that minority about their own culture/heritage. This is a different type of racism, one that is so convinced by it's own intellectualism that they believe themselves superior/more qualified and tbh, most likely even more racist than your average skinhead on the street. Because they guys have half backed up academic arguments they have spent the time to think about...
    Agree with every word of this.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Eboracum)
    Thanks James, sound advice. I hope one day I can become a peer-acclaimed connoisseur of women as well.

    What's your strategy with women? Do you feed their egos and chase or do you sit back like Don Draper and let them come to you?
    Just wait it out, no need to rush things. See where the conversation goes. Like I say there's a million possible reasons. Not that it has to be said, but don't invest too much emotionally into her.

    Depends on the girl and how much I like her, strategy always changes. I tend to prefer girls 16-21 (I'm 21) so its a lot easier to pull than it is for your average high flying career-woman-to-be in her later years of uni but the rules don't change too much. Be funny.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by JamesR12)
    Just wait it out, no need to rush things. See where the conversation goes. Like I say there's a million possible reasons. Not that it has to be said, but don't invest too much emotionally into her.

    Depends on the girl and how much I like her, strategy always changes. I tend to prefer girls 16-21 (I'm 21) so its a lot easier to pull than it is for your average high flying career-woman-to-be in her later years of uni but the rules don't change too much. Be funny.
    So you prey on the naive amirite. Why not go for someone career-driven? Would be good for yourself.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by IceJJFish(II))
    So you prey on the naive amirite. Why not go for someone career-driven? Would be good for yourself.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    No, I like younger girls because they're more playful and fun and make me feel younger. I'm a kid at heart.

    And the girls I pick are always career driven/extremely clever.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by JamesR12)
    No, I like younger girls because they're more playful and fun and make me feel younger. I'm a kid at heart.

    And the girls I pick are always career driven/extremely clever.
    You don't need to feel younger you're still young. At your age primary focus should be on how to make $$$ (therefore career choice).

    Difference between being career driven at 16 and 21 as you well know. Settle down with someone on the brink of a high end job.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by IceJJFish(II))
    You don't need to feel younger you're still young. At your age primary focus should be on how to make $$$ (therefore career choice).

    Difference between being career driven at 16 and 21 as you well know. Settle down with someone on the brink of a high end job.
    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Nah, I like feeling younger, I feel as if I've lived 2 or 3 years too many. I was overworked as a kid. I'll have conversations with girls which most could class as immature but I'd enjoy them a lot.

    Well I'm not looking to settle down immediately either - I want the girl to be driven and intelligent, but your assertion that essentially 'being driven at 16 is meaningless' isn't one I agree with.
 
 
 
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

This forum is supported by:
Updated: January 5, 2015
Poll
If you won £30,000, which of these would you spend it on?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.