Depression Society MkII Watch

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Sabertooth
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#9661
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#9661
(Original post by gooner1991)
I wish there was an instant remedy for lack of confidence.
probably not the right answer, but drink does a pretty good job...
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upturnedpalms
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#9662
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(Original post by jonathan122)
Hi Hannah :hugs:

How are you? When do your results come out? :hugs:
Hi! :hugs: Results out August 20th, insanely late, which is irritating because I just want to know where I stand for next year and I can't wait 26 days!

Generally, I've been up and down - everything was actually better during exams because I didn't have time to think about anything else, so I just sort of went into auto-pilot. However, I just got back from Russia which was one of the most amazing things I have done in my life, and I'm on a massive low that I can't snap out of, because I just feel all deflated and I miss it horribly.
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death.drop
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me and webber had a pretty intense conversation last night about our relationship. It was pretty tough to talk about and I ended up crying a lot but I feel so much better now that he knows and understands me a bit more. I still don't know what will happen with us. he says he loves me, which I find quite difficult to hear, and that he wants to be with me but he's worried I won't be around for long. He said that he understands why I want to kill myself and that makes it all the more real. I can't tell you how good it feels to hear someone say that they don't blame you and they don't think you're being selfish.

I love the guy so much, and things feel so much better when I'm with him, I actually felt good last week for the first time in a really long time. I just can't rely on someone else to make me better.

I don't know what I want, I don't know what I can believe. I don't see what there is in me to love at all, and it makes me feel really uneasy that he might be lying to me and will just hurt me in the end. I don't want him to waste his time with me but at the same time it would break my heart to see him with anyone else.

I talked to him last night about things I never thought I could or would and it didn't even seem strange. I can't believe I'm doing this after swearing off relationships.

argh i'm just so confused. why can't things just be simple.
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blackfish
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#9664
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to be honest... im not sure how much longer i can go on with this...! I feel so completely and utterly dead inside and nobody has a bluddy clue how im feeling. Theres no point in talking about it as nobody understands me and i just feel like a complete and utter d1ck.

All my friends seem to be so happy and alive and have stable relationships or can pull any girl they want... watching everyone else enjoy life to the full has turned me so bitter and it hurts so much.

I don't care much what happens to me anymore. people treat me like **** it's almost like im not allowed to have feelings anymore... people treat me like an object to a human... It hurts...
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Sabertooth
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#9665
feel so **** :sad:
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Sabertooth
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(Original post by death.drop)
me and webber had a pretty intense conversation last night about our relationship. It was pretty tough to talk about and I ended up crying a lot but I feel so much better now that he knows and understands me a bit more. I still don't know what will happen with us. he says he loves me, which I find quite difficult to hear, and that he wants to be with me but he's worried I won't be around for long. He said that he understands why I want to kill myself and that makes it all the more real. I can't tell you how good it feels to hear someone say that they don't blame you and they don't think you're being selfish.

I love the guy so much, and things feel so much better when I'm with him, I actually felt good last week for the first time in a really long time. I just can't rely on someone else to make me better.

I don't know what I want, I don't know what I can believe. I don't see what there is in me to love at all, and it makes me feel really uneasy that he might be lying to me and will just hurt me in the end. I don't want him to waste his time with me but at the same time it would break my heart to see him with anyone else.

I talked to him last night about things I never thought I could or would and it didn't even seem strange. I can't believe I'm doing this after swearing off relationships.

argh i'm just so confused. why can't things just be simple.
I get the exact same thing, everytime anyone says they like me I just think why, what the **** is there to like about me. I know it's hard but just try to go with it. You love him, he makes you feel good and that's great, try not to let your doubts about yourself get in the way because that can make it really hard for him and you to keep this going. What's he got to gain from lying to you?
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jonathan122
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(Original post by Sabertooth)
feel so **** :sad:
:hugs: What's up?
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Sabertooth
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(Original post by jonathan122)
:hugs: What's up?
Hey Jonathan, you alright? Thanks for the hugs.

I don't actually know what's up, everything I guess, paranoia through the roof, voices won't shut the **** up, needing to s/h so badly, feeling ****, university stuff, no where to live at uni and I'm a horrible person to the one friend I have. A lot's up.
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jonathan122
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(Original post by Sabertooth)
Hey Jonathan, you alright? Thanks for the hugs.

I don't actually know what's up, everything I guess, paranoia through the roof, voices won't shut the **** up, needing to s/h so badly, feeling ****, university stuff, no where to live at uni and I'm a horrible person to the one friend I have. A lot's up.
I'm sorry things are so bad. :hugs: I'm sure your friend realises the stress that you're under and will be willing to give you some leeway. As regards uni accomodation, do the uni know you're finding it difficult to find somewhere to live? They can usually help find accomodation, especially for students with health problems.

Have you tried the usual things to deal with the voices and the s/h? (i.e. listening to loud music, going for a walk or something?)

Hope thing's are a bit brighter tomorrow. :hugs:

(PS I'm fine, thank you for asking. :hugs:)
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Sabertooth
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(Original post by jonathan122)
I'm sorry things are so bad. :hugs: I'm sure your friend realises the stress that you're under and will be willing to give you some leeway. As regards uni accomodation, do the uni know you're finding it difficult to find somewhere to live? They can usually help find accomodation, especially for students with health problems.

Have you tried the usual things to deal with the voices and the s/h? (i.e. listening to loud music, going for a walk or something?)

Hope thing's are a bit brighter tomorrow. :hugs:

(PS I'm fine, thank you for asking. :hugs:)
I haven't told my uni no, that's a good idea....should I just like email them and ask if they've got any rooms spare? Or should I email the disability coordinator and ask them to email accommodation? 2nd years aren't meant to live on campus so I'm not sure how much they'll be able to help but thanks for the idea I'll try it.

Listening to music right now, might take a walk with my friend. Yeah that helped before actually.

Glad to hear you're doing alright. Thanks for the advice.
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jonathan122
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(Original post by Sabertooth)
I haven't told my uni no, that's a good idea....should I just like email them and ask if they've got any rooms spare? Or should I email the disability coordinator and ask them to email accommodation? 2nd years aren't meant to live on campus so I'm not sure how much they'll be able to help but thanks for the idea I'll try it.

Listening to music right now, might take a walk with my friend. Yeah that helped before actually.

Glad to hear you're doing alright. Thanks for the advice.
I'd e-mail the disability coordinator and explain things. The uni has to make allowances for people who are unable or less able to find accomodation (particularly if they have an illness which hinders them finding it), so although 2nd years aren't supposed to live on campus, they'll usually stretch the rules in special circumstances - I lived in 1st year only accomodation in my final year!

:hugs:
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Sabertooth
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(Original post by jonathan122)
I'd e-mail the disability coordinator and explain things. The uni has to make allowances for people who are unable or less able to find accomodation (particularly if they have an illness which hinders them finding it), so although 2nd years aren't supposed to live on campus, they'll usually stretch the rules in special circumstances - I lived in 1st year only accomodation in my final year!

:hugs:
Awesome. Thanks Jonathan, I'm feeling a fair bit better on that front now. :hugs: that's great! seriously.

I'm going to try playing my guitar now if that fails I'll go for a walk to get other stuff out my head, thanks for your advice.
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FM08
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I was actually going to provide some constructive criticism but I best not I guess as this forum and moderators are so damn touchy :rolleyes:
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Segat1
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#9674
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Well, yesterday I felt shattered. I think it was due to me t"testing" my reaction to booze, and whilst I didnt get drunk, I was so tired I could barely get to bed. Today I feel awesome though.
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death.drop
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#9675
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(Original post by Sabertooth)
I get the exact same thing, everytime anyone says they like me I just think why, what the **** is there to like about me. I know it's hard but just try to go with it. You love him, he makes you feel good and that's great, try not to let your doubts about yourself get in the way because that can make it really hard for him and you to keep this going. What's he got to gain from lying to you?
well sometimes I think he's lying to stop me from killing myself, and the rest of the time I think it's because of the sex. I feel like i'm just his good-for-now person.
It's all I usually am.

I know it's making it hard for him, it's terrible to hear him say that he's trying not to let himself get too attached because he thinks it's pointless if i don't believe him, if i'm going to kill myself. I hate that I'm doing this to the guy I wish I could just control myself.

everyone doing alright today?
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death.drop
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(Original post by Segat1)
Well, yesterday I felt shattered. I think it was due to me t"testing" my reaction to booze, and whilst I didnt get drunk, I was so tired I could barely get to bed. Today I feel awesome though.
the first few times I drank on my anti depressants I fell asleep almost straight away. Now I just get drunk ridiculously easy.
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Sabertooth
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(Original post by death.drop)
well sometimes I think he's lying to stop me from killing myself, and the rest of the time I think it's because of the sex. I feel like i'm just his good-for-now person.
It's all I usually am.

I know it's making it hard for him, it's terrible to hear him say that he's trying not to let himself get too attached because he thinks it's pointless if i don't believe him, if i'm going to kill myself. I hate that I'm doing this to the guy I wish I could just control myself.

everyone doing alright today?
I see what you mean, but think of it this way, sex is pretty easy to come by if you're reasonably good looking, or just have money to buy enough drinks to become reasonably good looking to other people. But it sounds like you've actually got something going with this guy like he treats you nice, I don't know, does he spend time/money/energy on you in which case if it was just for sex he could probably get it cheaper elsewhere (not saying you're cheap or easy or that his intention is to "buy" sex from you, saying lots of people are).
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carrotcake
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(Original post by starchild)
Hi folks, im back from London. Glad im free from there to be honest. Mum just made me feel like nothing for the rest of my time there. Hope everyone is ok.

:hugs: and home baked cookies for you all

Sitara xxxxxx
Hi Siti, it's Ali.

Sorry everyone else, slightly random, Sitara was the one who recommended I join TSR. I'm very glad I did.
I often have problems with depression. At the moment I'm on fluoxetine but the past three days I have felt quite good. Generally it's something that I can only sort out in my own head, so I try not to rely on anything else really.
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jonathan122
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(Original post by carrotcake)
Hi Siti, it's Ali.

Sorry everyone else, slightly random, Sitara was the one who recommended I join TSR. I'm very glad I did.
I often have problems with depression. At the moment I'm on fluoxetine but the past three days I have felt quite good. Generally it's something that I can only sort out in my own head, so I try not to rely on anything else really.
:hugs: Hi, and welcome.
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carrotcake
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(Original post by jonathan122)
:hugs: Hi, and welcome.
Heya, thanks for the welcome.

At the moment (as in, over the past few months) I've also been going to see psychiatrists because my GP is concerned about these hypomanic episodes I get. One psych suggested it could be cyclothymia or bipolar II, but I'm not going to make any self-diagnosis because that's always dangerous (it consumes you if you think about it to much). Besides, if I resign myself to something then I feel like I lose my freedom. I'd rather see it as a way to find a way of dealing with things, if that makes sense, rather than a forgone conclusion.
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