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    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Yeah I suppose, but the GP has referred me onto other people to deal with those issues alone, and if they didn't feel able to treat either thing alone I'm not really sure how well they'd be able to manage the conjunction. I don't really have a trusted GP either, like they normally seem quite judgmental about me not looking after myself properly and they ask me questions but when I answer honestly they just do shocked and I don't really like it. Makes me feel kind of broken.

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    Really not feeling that good. Don't know what to do really. Bleh.
    If I'm understanding your post right though (correct me if I'm wrong!), you're wanting advice on how to manage the interactions of your conditions, not treatment - even if they don't have the experience/knowledge to actively provide treatment, they might be able to advise on how to manage the conditions together, if that makes sense? Ultimately, a lot of people will have conditions with interact with one another, so they will have experience of that at least, even if not with your exact conditon. I'm not really sure how to explain what I'm trying to say, sorry! Do you kind of get what I mean though?

    ---

    :jumphug: Any trigger for that? Am on Skype if you want to talk. Not sure how much use I'll be, kind of feeling numb, but still.
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    (Original post by 08batee)
    Hun, I'm not. I'm saying it because it's true. we first 'met' on the Healthy New You thread and you were lovely then. You've been there and I can tell it's genuine. And the thing I remember most is you PMd me on my 18th birthday (definitely in the top 10 for the worst days of my life) and you were fantastic. You were lovely, understanding, you listened to all the crap. I absolutely 100% PROMISE you, you are wonderful, hun. I'm not lying, I mean it. :jumphug:

    Having an awful day. Just angry and upset. My so called friends in real life are awful and this day has just been horrendous. Feel utterly ****. No one in real life even close to understands how I feel or what I've been through, and none of them could care less. They're just absorbed in their own selfish lives and I've so had enough. Just don't need it after the day I've had :nah:
    :jumphug: You're very kind. I really do appreciate that. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

    Oh no, that sounds horrible What has happened to make you think that? It's frustrating when other people around you don't seem to understand what's going on or the severity of it, it feels quite isolating and horrible Have you told them about everything that's going on? Remember you've always got lots of people on here for support so you aren't alone or anything like that :hugs: What's made your day so horrid?

    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    As I think avvhs said, if people are really treating you like you're a freak, then the problem is with them. You are NOT a freak at all hun - please don't think that. Do feel free to poke me on Facebook btw if you wanna chat. I'm hopeless at spotting you on Chat but will try and look more carefully/search for your name in future, so that we can have West London banter :awesome:
    I don't know if they are or it's in my head, but either way I'm just too scared to talk to or be around people at the moment and it feels pathetic that I can't even go to the kitchen to get some water or something It's just retrospectively looking at how my life has gone, it's like I have no chance for "normal" ever again, and I don't know what the point is, if that makes sense. I have counselling tomorrow morning though which is something to focus on at least. Gah, sorry I'm whinging so much! You all must be sick of me.

    How are you doing TLG? :jumphug: How's the job and everything else going? I will have a look for you too, would be nice to catch up I hope you're doing well and everything's going alright.
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    well my boyfriend has officially seen how patetic i am. apparently hiding and wimpering behind him because of a tiny moth wasnt my best idea for the night

    been feeling pretty rubbish all day, just need a new body really
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    (Original post by FuzzySheep)
    :jumphug: You're very kind. I really do appreciate that. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

    Oh no, that sounds horrible What has happened to make you think that? It's frustrating when other people around you don't seem to understand what's going on or the severity of it, it feels quite isolating and horrible Have you told them about everything that's going on? Remember you've always got lots of people on here for support so you aren't alone or anything like that :hugs: What's made your day so horrid?



    I don't know if they are or it's in my head, but either way I'm just too scared to talk to or be around people at the moment and it feels pathetic that I can't even go to the kitchen to get some water or something It's just retrospectively looking at how my life has gone, it's like I have no chance for "normal" ever again, and I don't know what the point is, if that makes sense. I have counselling tomorrow morning though which is something to focus on at least. Gah, sorry I'm whinging so much! You all must be sick of me.

    How are you doing TLG? :jumphug: How's the job and everything else going? I will have a look for you too, would be nice to catch up I hope you're doing well and everything's going alright.
    :jumphug: We are all here for you, lovely :hugs:
    It's all quite complicated and I won't bore you too much but basically, one friend knows nearly everything (apart from general 'unsafeness') and has been no help and has made things worse due to using my situation to get lots of attention. She's never there. The others sort of know I'm depressed and was abused and when I tell them I'm not going out they make the most horrendous fuss and are basically really selfish and don't consider my feelings in any of it. They keep kicking up a massive fuss cause they want to go clubbing but I tell them that I find it awfully triggering and just can't deal with anyone touching me - last time I went out some guy kept throwing himself at me and it ended SO badly. They're just SO selfish about it - I keep telling them they don't need me there. Its ridiculous and I sort of feel like I dont have real friends as a result.
    Thanks hun, I do appreciate the support but IRL I still feel incredibly isolated and lonely. I just woke up feeling really low and my mood got progressively worse. I kept thinking over the past and I'm all mopey. Also have an exam tomorrow and I'm unprepared and have done no revision today. I'm just tired of everything, basically.
    Sorry that was such an essay

    Also I know the second part isn't aimed at me, but I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling like this, it's awful to feel so trapped. I'm glad you have counselling tomorrow though as hopefully it will give you a good opportunity to talk about these feelings. I hope it goes okay. And you're not whinging at all! :hugs: This is what this thread is here for - to vent. Don't feel bad about it at all :jumphug:


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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    well my boyfriend has officially seen how patetic i am. apparently hiding and wimpering behind him because of a tiny moth wasnt my best idea for the night

    been feeling pretty rubbish all day, just need a new body really
    That's not pathetic at all! You're allowed to be scared of things, I would have probably reacted the same. That one tiny thing does not make you pathetic, in fact from seeing some of your posts on here you are mostly definitely the opposite, a lovely strong person. :hugs:
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    (Original post by FuzzySheep)
    That's not pathetic at all! You're allowed to be scared of things, I would have probably reacted the same. That one tiny thing does not make you pathetic, in fact from seeing some of your posts on here you are mostly definitely the opposite, a lovely strong person. :hugs:
    i was quite literally cowering behind him, already made him kill one. at home i sleep with fly killer next to my bed in case of a moth attack, and usually have to get my mum to sort it out one of my worse phobias, urghhh
    i am pathetic, i really am, no idea how im gonna cope over the next 2 weeks, im just gonna fall apart and become a big bawl of patheticness
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    (Original post by 08batee)
    :jumphug: We are all here for you, lovely :hugs:
    It's all quite complicated and I won't bore you too much but basically, one friend knows nearly everything (apart from general 'unsafeness') and has been no help and has made things worse due to using my situation to get lots of attention. She's never there. The others sort of know I'm depressed and was abused and when I tell them I'm not going out they make the most horrendous fuss and are basically really selfish and don't consider my feelings in any of it. They keep kicking up a massive fuss cause they want to go clubbing but I tell them that I find it awfully triggering and just can't deal with anyone touching me - last time I went out some guy kept throwing himself at me and it ended SO badly. They're just SO selfish about it - I keep telling them they don't need me there. Its ridiculous and I sort of feel like I dont have real friends as a result.
    Thanks hun, I do appreciate the support but IRL I still feel incredibly isolated and lonely. I just woke up feeling really low and my mood got progressively worse. I kept thinking over the past and I'm all mopey. Also have an exam tomorrow and I'm unprepared and have done no revision today. I'm just tired of everything, basically.
    Sorry that was such an essay

    Also I know the second part isn't aimed at me, but I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling like this, it's awful to feel so trapped. I'm glad you have counselling tomorrow though as hopefully it will give you a good opportunity to talk about these feelings. I hope it goes okay. And you're not whinging at all! :hugs: This is what this thread is here for - to vent. Don't feel bad about it at all :jumphug:


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    That's awful! That first friend using your situation for attention, how would someone even think to do that, to a friend?! Or to anyone full stop, I don't understand, that's so horrid. It's a huge step to trust someone and they should have recognised that rather than doing things to make things worse I'm sorry to hear the others don't take account of things either, a clubbing environment is just horrendous and they should understand that. I'm really sorry things are like this IRL. I can sympathise with the isolation and things, is there anyone outside your group of friends you feel you can talk to and trust? You're not being mopey at all, but maybe there are things that might help you to handle your mood at the beginning of the day, possibly doing something active and distracting or something like that? It's difficult to do but might help to get some control over your mood and give you some power back.

    About your exam, I don't know if I've asked you this before but have you told anyone at your sixth form about this? And I don't know if I've asked if you've seen a doctor or anything? It's really helpful to let them know about things if you can. You're a smart girl and you shouldn't be disadvantaged. Just take some deep breaths before you go in and try your best, that's all you can do, I think you might surprise yourself. Best of luck with it all.

    :jumphug: Thank you, that's really kind. I'm quite lucky in that I got an appt quite quickly and with the same awesome counsellor I had beforehand so it'll make it easier. I need to learn to talk more during the sessions is the only thing, I can sit there for an hour and cry but it never helps. Have you considered counselling or CBT or anything like that? It seems like it might really help you too, though I think I remember you possibly telling me that you've had a bad experience with counselling before? Maybe you could try have it somewhere else or try someone else even? It's really important you get some support IRL and don't have to rely on friends that do the above
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    i was quite literally cowering behind him, already made him kill one. at home i sleep with fly killer next to my bed in case of a moth attack, and usually have to get my mum to sort it out one of my worse phobias, urghhh
    i am pathetic, i really am, no idea how im gonna cope over the next 2 weeks, im just gonna fall apart and become a big bawl of patheticness
    Everyone has a phobia hun, it's completely normal no matter how strange you see yourself to be. Your boyfriend wouldn't be your boyfriend if he didn't care about you, right? If you were as pathetic as you say, then you wouldn't have so many people caring about you here and IRL! What's happening over the next two weeks? You are always very welcome to PM me at any point if you need to talk about things. But you can cope and will cope and are strong enough to do it, I promise.
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    Haven't felt this low since I did something 'bad' months ago. I don't know what's gotten into me. I just can't ****ing do this. I can't do this exam and I just fail at life. I'm done with all of this **** all of the time. Arghhhhhhhhhhh

    Sorry am basically spamming this thread tonight but I feel so alone and horrendously low and somehow writing this sort of helps me keep connected.


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    (Original post by 08batee)
    Haven't felt this low since I did something 'bad' months ago. I don't know what's gotten into me. I just can't ****ing do this. I can't do this exam and I just fail at life. I'm done with all of this **** all of the time. Arghhhhhhhhhhh

    Sorry am basically spamming this thread tonight but I feel so alone and horrendously low and somehow writing this sort of helps me keep connected.


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    You CAN do this and are most certainly NOT a failure, not at all, and never will be. Failing would mean you've done something wrong and you've done nothing wrong at all, and nothing to deserve this. You don't fail at life, and exams can be retaken or fixed and you can apply for extenuating circumstances, there are ways around this. You sound like you need some IRL support, is there anyone at all you can talk to? :hugs: :console:
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    (Original post by FuzzySheep)
    Everyone has a phobia hun, it's completely normal no matter how strange you see yourself to be. Your boyfriend wouldn't be your boyfriend if he didn't care about you, right? If you were as pathetic as you say, then you wouldn't have so many people caring about you here and IRL! What's happening over the next two weeks? You are always very welcome to PM me at any point if you need to talk about things. But you can cope and will cope and are strong enough to do it, I promise.
    i just reacted completely irrationally, i saw it and scrambled up the bed to literally hide behind him wimpering, he didnt even see the moth
    dont really have anyone caring about me IRL trust me, im slowly pushing everyone away
    have a hell of a lot of uni work to finish, placement to finish, finishing uni, packing my entire life up, seeing my mum, changing drs, all while my body is slowly giving up on me, creating more health fears and my MH is decreasing... i just need a break
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    (Original post by FuzzySheep)
    That's awful! That first friend using your situation for attention, how would someone even think to do that, to a friend?! Or to anyone full stop, I don't understand, that's so horrid. It's a huge step to trust someone and they should have recognised that rather than doing things to make things worse I'm sorry to hear the others don't take account of things either, a clubbing environment is just horrendous and they should understand that. I'm really sorry things are like this IRL. I can sympathise with the isolation and things, is there anyone outside your group of friends you feel you can talk to and trust? You're not being mopey at all, but maybe there are things that might help you to handle your mood at the beginning of the day, possibly doing something active and distracting or something like that? It's difficult to do but might help to get some control over your mood and give you some power back.

    About your exam, I don't know if I've asked you this before but have you told anyone at your sixth form about this? And I don't know if I've asked if you've seen a doctor or anything? It's really helpful to let them know about things if you can. You're a smart girl and you shouldn't be disadvantaged. Just take some deep breaths before you go in and try your best, that's all you can do, I think you might surprise yourself. Best of luck with it all.

    :jumphug: Thank you, that's really kind. I'm quite lucky in that I got an appt quite quickly and with the same awesome counsellor I had beforehand so it'll make it easier. I need to learn to talk more during the sessions is the only thing, I can sit there for an hour and cry but it never helps. Have you considered counselling or CBT or anything like that? It seems like it might really help you too, though I think I remember you possibly telling me that you've had a bad experience with counselling before? Maybe you could try have it somewhere else or try someone else even? It's really important you get some support IRL and don't have to rely on friends that do the above
    Yeah I know, it was a pretty extreme thing she did too and led me to have panic attacks for weeks over it, which I had never suffered before. It was all horrendous and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Thanks for being so understanding :hugs: there isn't really anyone I trust in real life to be honest, no. Yeah it's difficult to know what to do. Today I forced myself to get dressed and planned to revise but just couldn't. I just end up crying in bed and it makes everything worse. It's so damn hard to do anything.
    No one really knows (a physics teacher basically does, but I haven't said the words, if that makes sense) Im too worried they'll go to my parents. But I'm leaving on Friday so I've missed my opportunity, tbh. Yeah I went to the GP, I've been referred to CMHT and am on Mirtazapine which is quite frankly rubbish so far Counselling isnt much of an option at the moment as I was abused there and have bad trust issues and the while situation would be hugely triggering for me, and because I'm sort of 'at risk' I don't want to risk anything pushing me any more. My plan is to find some sort of med which makes life seem a little more bearable before going down that route. Thanks for talking things through with me, hun :hugs:
    Brilliant news, I'm glad you've got the counsellor you're used to. Sorry to hear that though, it's very normal for that to happen, though obviously I can see why it's not massively productive :hugs: I really hope you start to feel better soon, you don't deserve to feel so rubbish, at all :console:


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    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Surely there's no such thing as a boring day this close to exams? I'd recommend showering and maybe a cup of tea for some energy, clearing yourself a revision space and giving that a go. Not long until exams are over and you'll be glad of any work you did once they are over.
    I failed to do revision but did have a shower

    How did your work go?

    (Original post by FuzzySheep)
    :jumphug: That's really kind, thank you. It's not Bristol that's the problem, I just feel so alone is all. I don't know

    How are you doing? How is home? :hugs:
    Oh ok, being alone is really horrible :jumphug:

    Well, I'm not doing that good I think. Not revised again today. Things at home are still bad and 30mg Citalopram was not getting on so I only took 20 today and it is much better.

    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    As I think avvhs said, if people are really treating you like you're a freak, then the problem is with them. You are NOT a freak at all hun - please don't think that. Do feel free to poke me on Facebook btw if you wanna chat. I'm hopeless at spotting you on Chat but will try and look more carefully/search for your name in future, so that we can have West London banter :awesome:
    Yay someone agrees with me How are you doing these days?

    If anyone wants to add me on Skype, it is avhhs1
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    (Original post by FuzzySheep)
    You CAN do this and are most certainly NOT a failure, not at all, and never will be. Failing would mean you've done something wrong and you've done nothing wrong at all, and nothing to deserve this. You don't fail at life, and exams can be retaken or fixed and you can apply for extenuating circumstances, there are ways around this. You sound like you need some IRL support, is there anyone at all you can talk to? :hugs: :console:
    :hugs: Thank you. Meh just feeling horrendous about it all tonight. I just feel like not turning up to this exam, it's pointless I can't do it. And I can't sit there for two hours. I can't do it. This is the THIRD time I will have sat this exam. And I still don't know it. Genuinely pathetic. I should have gotten it right first time. I don't deserve to sit it for the third time. Am so stupid :cry:


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    mmy ribz r inn agony.... ii feerl diizzzy nd ssick bbuyt uu guyyz r pprety awersoomne nnd ii louuve yuoze aall........ oikkay...bbyue byue
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    So so fed up of not sleeping :'( exams are coming up, literally cant deal with it on top of everything else


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    I'm off on a residential trip for 3 days. I'm not sure if I'm really ready for it or looking forward to it. I sort of want to stay home with my boyfriend where it is safe, but Uni are doing a lot to help me attend: giving me my own room so I don't have to share with a bunch of annoying girls, and I can go to bed early if I want. Thank god I'm pregnant! I actually have a valid excuse not to go to the pub if I don't feel like it!

    It is in the countryside so I really hope it's not a dead signal area. I need to have my bf on the end of the phone, and this group on my app. It's only 'til Wednesday, and I'm not exactly panicking or even feeling down about it. I just have a feeling something is going to set me off and I'm scared that I won't have anyone there to turn to. Nobody at Uni really knows me that well cos I'm a bit older than them and don't socialise with them like a normal student.

    Oh well, it should be ok. I will be looked after there at least. I don't feel panicky about it anyway.
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    Therapist is ill, so I could really just stay in bed all day. I'm not that sure what to do because she's offered me an appointment on Friday but I'm not sure if it's sensible to have CBT the day before an exam (or maybe it could even be helpful, I suppose?). If I don't do Friday I'll end up with three weeks or more between appts which isn't ideal. Bit worried about what I will do with today as well. I wasn't really wanting therapy but at least it would have forced me away from revision and my bedroom.
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    I just don't have the strength to get through this week. I'm literally going to be in autopilot and will at times just feel completely emotionless and I so weak and unable to summon any strength up. This week will be such a long one and i don't know how much more I can take.
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    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Therapist is ill, so I could really just stay in bed all day. I'm not that sure what to do because she's offered me an appointment on Friday but I'm not sure if it's sensible to have CBT the day before an exam (or maybe it could even be helpful, I suppose?). If I don't do Friday I'll end up with three weeks or more between appts which isn't ideal. Bit worried about what I will do with today as well. I wasn't really wanting therapy but at least it would have forced me away from revision and my bedroom.
    My MHA was ill last week too. I did stay in bed all day! Perhaps it is the mental health worker lurgy :ahee:

    I don't know what you work on in CBT but I always find it helpful to go get extra help before exams or deadlines. Perhaps you could tall about your anxieties and ways you can overcome them? Not sure if it applies but it may give you a slight boost? X
 
 
 
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