Depression Society MkII Watch

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Vienna Cannon
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#9821
Report 9 years ago
#9821
(Original post by blackfish)
Now they reckon i'm turning f***ing Anorexic...! Great!
:hugs: don't pay attention. how have you been feeling recently
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Vienna Cannon
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#9822
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#9822
(Original post by death.drop)
ditto. I'm gaining weight by the day at the moment.

I started seriously clearing out today, it's going really badly. the whole house is a mess.
Have possibly found an incredibly easy way of making some extra cash though, just waiting for an email back. if it turns out to be anything it will make my life a lot easier and I can quit the hotel worry-free.
oh, they've cut me down to 2 days a week as well which is a total piss take. I hate that they will give their friends and family jobs even if it means cutting everyone else's hours down.


how is everyone today? anyone heard from pink sapphires? I don't remember seeing a post from her in ages.
:hugs: I think I am gaining weight at the moment. I miss being my old size eight/ten
I feel huge right now
How have you been feeling recently?
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Vienna Cannon
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#9823
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#9823
(Original post by Malsy)
i wish i had some money...want want want but 0 cash in bank account
hopefully you get some cash flow soon. being with out money sucks.
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Malsy
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#9824
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#9824
i'm going to ask...MUMMY...:sigh:
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Vienna Cannon
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#9825
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#9825
(Original post by Malsy)
i'm going to ask...MUMMY...:sigh:
ouch the dready evil mummy. I never ever ask money off her because she says I don't need money for anything and that I should get a job (unfortunately I have tried and failed at getting a job
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Malsy
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#9826
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#9826
thankfully my mum knows im in no fit state for a job. though she does ask why i dont get one..and rather gets excited even though she knows that i wont be getting one anytime soon:p: thankfully she'll easily put some money in my bank if i need some. the sad thing is is the fact that i want a job just cant due to these ******* issues.
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Vienna Cannon
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#9827
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#9827
maybe look for a small job even if its one day a week
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death.drop
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#9828
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#9828
(Original post by Vienna Cannon)
:hugs: I think I am gaining weight at the moment. I miss being my old size eight/ten
I feel huge right now
How have you been feeling recently?
overall I actually feel good for the first time in an age, but the hospital appointment really brought me down and my brother's actually got worse since he found out webber's moving in. oh, and my manager at the hotel has become a total cow so i've decided to quit.
thanks for asking, feels good to rant

Other than feeling like a fellow fatty, how are you?
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Vienna Cannon
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#9829
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#9829
(Original post by death.drop)
overall I actually feel good for the first time in an age, but the hospital appointment really brought me down and my brother's actually got worse since he found out webber's moving in. oh, and my manager at the hotel has become a total cow so i've decided to quit.
thanks for asking, feels good to rant

Other than feeling like a fellow fatty, how are you?
wow thats not good. :hugs:
erm feeling better, been feeling really low and ill the past few days but sicky bug going and mood is slowly lifting. I just wish i didn't feel low and as bad as I can get sometimes
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death.drop
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#9830
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#9830
(Original post by Vienna Cannon)
wow thats not good. :hugs:
erm feeling better, been feeling really low and ill the past few days but sicky bug going and mood is slowly lifting. I just wish i didn't feel low and as bad as I can get sometimes
bad time to be ill as well
might be a good thing though, when you get less ill it'll feel like you're getting somewhere. if you'd never been ill I can imagine you'd have stayed that low for a while.
glad to hear you're holding up, always here if you need a chat.
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diamonddust
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#9831
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#9831
(Original post by Vienna Cannon)
ouch the dready evil mummy. I never ever ask money off her because she says I don't need money for anything and that I should get a job (unfortunately I have tried and failed at getting a job
My mum was the opposite. I've wanted a job since I was 15 and she was like 'if you get a job I'll kick you out' but she never gave me money to get what I wanted. And now I'm trying to get a job so I can save up for my gap year she says why didn't you get a job earlier! :mad:

I've applied to about 3 jobs now and haven't had one reply. Though I applied to the first one last week and the other two today so I shouldn't expect anything. The first job said they'd contact me next week and it is next week and it's almost Friday and I haven't heard anything back.

Last night was one of the worst nights I've ever had depression-wise.
(warning- long suicidal tirade)

Spoiler:
Show
I know now that I am capable of killing myself and it scares me and makes me happy at the same time. I'm so annoyed with myself that I didn't but really, I know if it hadn't worked I would have hated myself for traumatizing my little brother. (I'm at my dad's house now)

I was so close and the thing I don't get is I didn't think about it. I was just overwhelmed. It was so horrible, I couldn't stop shaking and I found it hard to breathe and the only thing I could think of was dying and making sure it happened. I kind of don't know what to do with myself now. I mean it's going to happen again, I can feel the same pressure in my head I felt then which is why I'm still typing to try and get it to go away. I can't let it overwhelm me again but I know it will.

I have a appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow and I don't know if I should say anything. I don't want to be sectioned but I don't think I can deal with this anymore. I feel like a pressure cooker with the lid on and I'm not strong enough to keep it in anymore. I don't know what to do. It's going to end with me dying and it's what I want but I don't want to hurt anyone else but I'm sure they'll be fine and forget about me.


I hope you guys are all ok. Death.drop, I'm so sorry to hear about what you went through and what you're still going through. :hugs:
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Malsy
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#9832
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#9832
omg dd. so sad to hear you talk about that and deep down i dont want to believe that you really would go through with it because it'd be awful. you should speak to your pschiatrist about it let it out cry etc. i just know exactly what youre going through with regard to the pressure cooker-some days i literally feel like im about to explode-i know this sounds crazy but i feel like my veins or an artery will burst due to the pressure when im in my hysterics about things. glad to see you applying for jobs and in all honesty im jealous ! i cant apply for any as much as i want to due to the fact that i cant face the world in this disgusting state and i hate it. i hate it when others take so much for granted things i would kill for yet to them its so natural to have. i hope youre ok if you ever need to talk more pm. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
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Sabertooth
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#9833
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#9833
(Original post by diamonddust)
My mum was the opposite. I've wanted a job since I was 15 and she was like 'if you get a job I'll kick you out' but she never gave me money to get what I wanted. And now I'm trying to get a job so I can save up for my gap year she says why didn't you get a job earlier! :mad:

I've applied to about 3 jobs now and haven't had one reply. Though I applied to the first one last week and the other two today so I shouldn't expect anything. The first job said they'd contact me next week and it is next week and it's almost Friday and I haven't heard anything back.

Last night was one of the worst nights I've ever had depression-wise.
(warning- long suicidal tirade)

Spoiler:
Show
I know now that I am capable of killing myself and it scares me and makes me happy at the same time. I'm so annoyed with myself that I didn't but really, I know if it hadn't worked I would have hated myself for traumatizing my little brother. (I'm at my dad's house now)

I was so close and the thing I don't get is I didn't think about it. I was just overwhelmed. It was so horrible, I couldn't stop shaking and I found it hard to breathe and the only thing I could think of was dying and making sure it happened. I kind of don't know what to do with myself now. I mean it's going to happen again, I can feel the same pressure in my head I felt then which is why I'm still typing to try and get it to go away. I can't let it overwhelm me again but I know it will.

I have a appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow and I don't know if I should say anything. I don't want to be sectioned but I don't think I can deal with this anymore. I feel like a pressure cooker with the lid on and I'm not strong enough to keep it in anymore. I don't know what to do. It's going to end with me dying and it's what I want but I don't want to hurt anyone else but I'm sure they'll be fine and forget about me.


I hope you guys are all ok. Death.drop, I'm so sorry to hear about what you went through and what you're still going through. :hugs:
People will miss you, they will miss you so much and it's not the kind of thing you just get over and forget about. I'm not trying to blackmail you to stay here if you don't like it, I know the feeling that people won't care if you're gone, but I'll tell you from personal experience you miss someone young dying so so much you never forget them especially family. Tell your psychiatrist, you won't be sectioned if you agree to go in and tbh in my experience psychiatrists are pretty reluctant to put people in hospital even when they feel really really **** but it's probably better than killing yourself even though it's scary as hell. You can get through this, it's really tough but keep trying. Living for other people is **** and to some degree wrong you should live for yourself imo, but when you feel like you've got nothing gonig for you yourself sometimes it's the only thing that can get you through. Sorry bit rambily.

:hugs: Around if you want to talk. Good luck with your appointment tomorrow.
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twizzle
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#9834
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#9834
i want to cry tonight, jealousy is a bad trait to have and yet i'm so jealous of people at the minute, people on my course having the perfect life and the perfect grades whilst all i seem to be doing is hitting brick walls when i try to do well just feels like at the minute i'll never have the career i want and that i'll end up in some dead end job all alone. i want to cry so badly. why does everything i have turn to ****? i have nothing in my life that's going right or makes me happy, it makes me think what's the point if i'm always gonna have a ****** life?
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twizzle
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#9835
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#9835
I apply for so many jobs at so many firms and they all reject me even without an interview,how the hell am i ever gonna get a training contract and become a solicitor, i just need a chance and no-one wants to give me it, i can't take failure anymore, things are bad enough without being turned down all the time. Life isn't fair. It's ****. I don't have anything and some people have so much and take it for granted.
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Malsy
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#9836
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#9836
(Original post by twizzle)
i want to cry tonight, jealousy is a bad trait to have and yet i'm so jealous of people at the minute, people on my course having the perfect life and the perfect grades whilst all i seem to be doing is hitting brick walls when i try to do well just feels like at the minute i'll never have the career i want and that i'll end up in some dead end job all alone. i want to cry so badly. why does everything i have turn to ****? i have nothing in my life that's going right or makes me happy, it makes me think what's the point if i'm always gonna have a ****** life?

i agree with everything in this
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jonathan122
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#9837
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#9837
(Original post by twizzle)
I apply for so many jobs at so many firms and they all reject me even without an interview,how the hell am i ever gonna get a training contract and become a solicitor, i just need a chance and no-one wants to give me it, i can't take failure anymore, things are bad enough without being turned down all the time. Life isn't fair. It's ****. I don't have anything and some people have so much and take it for granted.
Hi, not sure if you realise, but if you suffer from depression, it counts as a disability and you're entitled to special consideration when it comes to thngs like job interviews. :hugs:
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diamonddust
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#9838
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#9838
(Original post by Sabertooth)
People will miss you, they will miss you so much and it's not the kind of thing you just get over and forget about. I'm not trying to blackmail you to stay here if you don't like it, I know the feeling that people won't care if you're gone, but I'll tell you from personal experience you miss someone young dying so so much you never forget them especially family. Tell your psychiatrist, you won't be sectioned if you agree to go in and tbh in my experience psychiatrists are pretty reluctant to put people in hospital even when they feel really really **** but it's probably better than killing yourself even though it's scary as hell. You can get through this, it's really tough but keep trying. Living for other people is **** and to some degree wrong you should live for yourself imo, but when you feel like you've got nothing gonig for you yourself sometimes it's the only thing that can get you through. Sorry bit rambily.

:hugs: Around if you want to talk. Good luck with your appointment tomorrow.
Thanks Saber. :hugs:
I'm trying, it's just so ******* hard and I don't want to but I'm gonna shut up now.
How are you doing? xx
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twizzle
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#9839
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#9839
(Original post by jonathan122)
Hi, not sure if you realise, but if you suffer from depression, it counts as a disability and you're entitled to special consideration when it comes to thngs like job interviews. :hugs:
But surely they would discriminate against that? maybe not directly, i mean who would want someone who can't cope with the pressures of the job? i'm scared of putting it down for fear it will hold me back.
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jonathan122
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#9840
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#9840
(Original post by twizzle)
But surely they would discriminate against that? maybe not directly, i mean who would want someone who can't cope with the pressures of the job? i'm scared of putting it down for fear it will hold me back.
It's illegal for them to do so, and any company worth its salt will have schemes in place to hel disabled employees. I should imagine that solicitors in particular would be keen to be seen as disability-friendly.
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