Is 18-20 sexual partners for a 20 year old girl a lot? Watch

MissOxford
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#81
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#81
Slow down. Lets say your first time was at 16. That makes it 5 boys a year. Hence by the time you're 30 you would have slept with 70 people. Who would want something thats had 70 different varieties of penis in it.
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gapyahdilema
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#82
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(Original post by steph_v)
But she might of had relationships (albeit short ones) with all of them and practiced safe sex, which is a lot less slutty.
Let's assume she started sleeping with her twenty partners when she was 16. That would be a new 'relationship' every 2.4 months continuously.

I think not.
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The G Doctor
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#83
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#83
not me Miss O
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Al0n
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#84
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#84
Dunno, but it sounds like the type of girl you'd want to meet on a night out and never see again.

Use and abuse her

I bet shes fat.
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BeckysLover
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#85
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#85
I wonder if you can hear her vagina flapping on a windy day?
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Mousickle
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#86
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#86
Pfft I am only 22 and around that number. And shock suprise I've never had an STI and I dont feel cheap and used and I didnt give it away to people who I didnt like. How does doing something I enjoy with people I like in a completely honest and consentual way make me cheap or easy or sluty or all the other things thrown around this thread? OP, a number isnt everything, if the person who has slept with these 18 or 19 people doesnt have heaps of regrets and was sensible and honest about it then whats the problem. Yet again TSR doesnt seem to have gotten over the idea that sex is somehow dirty and wrong *le sigh*.
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crazyspacemonkey
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#87
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#87
(Original post by MissOxford)
Who would want something thats had 70 different varieties of penis in it.
When you put it like that, I have to go change my mind.
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Al0n
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#88
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(Original post by Mousickle)
Pfft I am only 22 and around that number. And shock suprise I've never had an STI and I dont feel cheap and used and I didnt give it away to people who I didnt like. How does doing something I enjoy with people I like in a completely honest and consentual way make me cheap or easy or sluty or all the other things thrown around this thread? OP, a number isnt everything, if the person who has slept with these 18 or 19 people doesnt have heaps of regrets and was sensible and honest about it then whats the problem. Yet again TSR doesnt seem to have gotten over the idea that sex is somehow dirty and wrong *le sigh*.
It does make you cheap. It does make you a whore. If you don't like the way people view you, then that's tough.

Try telling your boyfriends in the future of how many dicks have been in you and watch them run.
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Instant_Classic
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#89
(Original post by Anonymous)
....?
That's a ridiculous amount!

Personally, I don't think I'd go anywhere near someone that had had that many. Totally off-putting. Sorry.
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Mousickle
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#90
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(Original post by Al0n)
It does make you cheap. It does make you a whore. If you don't like the way people view you, then that's tough.

Try telling your boyfriends in the future of how many dicks have been in you and watch them run.
Great logic there buddy, repeating the statement with no explanation. Can you justify why you think it makes me a cheap whore?

I've told all of my boyfriends and none of them have been much bothered because they arent quite so simple and single minded as most of the people here. I'm safe, I've never cheated, I've never been with someone who was taken so I'd said I'm pretty moral and there is no reason the number of people I slept with in the past should matter.
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Dionysus
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#91
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#91
Yes it's a lot, but nothing wrong with it. I'd happily have sex with someone like that as long as they used protection and got tested.
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MancBoy
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#92
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#92
Its not a lot but I wouldn't wifey that. Hells no!
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Al0n
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#93
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(Original post by Mousickle)
Great logic there buddy, repeating the statement with no explanation. Can you justify why you think it makes me a cheap whore?

I've told all of my boyfriends and none of them have been much bothered because they arent quite so simple and single minded as most of the people here. I'm safe, I've never cheated, I've never been with someone who was taken so I'd said I'm pretty moral and there is no reason the number of people I slept with in the past should matter.
You're still viewed as a **** no matter what you think or say to justify it

Deal with this.
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Mousickle
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#94
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(Original post by Al0n)
You're still viewed as a **** no matter what you think or say to justify it

Deal with this.
So basicaly no you cant justify any reasoning behind your insults Thats okay I never did much care for the veiws of those who are willing to judge so easily.
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friedsquid
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#95
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OP,

it doesn't matter at all how many lays you've had, but if you like your boy then you have to accept him with all his human frailties, and this is one of them.

Speaking as a man, I know it doesn't matter, and I know that the fact you've had a lot of men doesn't matter, but if I was your bf, it would still bother me. And knowing that it doesn't really matter and I'm being silly wouldn't help at all, it would still bother me.

So the first thing you have to do is accept that it probably will bother your boy, and the rights and wrongs are basically irrelevant.

Now if you can accept that it will probably bother him, you can look at the why and the how.

I've been in his situation before (actually a few times, a few years ago - now it's mostly the other way round) and there were a few reasons it'd bother me. Please excuse me for speaking rather frankly:

-I'd be afraid you're a bit of a **** and are going to cheat on me. Can you stop sleeping around? Are you going to shag someone to make yourself feel better after our first fight?

-You have so much experience, are you going to judge me in comparison to those 20 guys? There must have been some with 10 inch appendages who kept going all night and made you come every time. What will you think of me when I can't compare?

-this is the harshest bit, but it's true. Deep down, we basically have a feeling that women who've shagged a lot of men are basically just a bit dirty. We think virgins are pure and clean and lovely and we happily go down on them, but if you've had a lot of sex, it just feels different.

Right, that's the why. It's not nice, but it's fact. Everyone's different, but I suspect your boy will basically be feeling something like what I've outlined above. You don't have to like this, but you cannot change it. You also can't talk him out of it, or persuade him not to feel that way. He feels that way because he's a man and that's the way we are. He probably knows it's silly, but that makes no difference. All this stuff is basically hard-wired in our Dna. Women might not like it, but it's part of being a man.

How:

What to do?

First things first, my advice is don't address the issues head-on. He might nod and say he agrees, but he won't change inside. You can say 'it doesn't matter', but Don't go in-depth. Also DON'T expect him to acknowledge the fears I've outlined above, that would be rather humiliating.

Firstly, it was a little bit silly to tell him in the first place. I suspect most girls lie about this because they know their partners want them to be less experienced.

Of all my more-experienced women, the one who handled it the best was the on who never told me. She just avoided the subject and said it didn't matter, and because she didn't act like a slut, I just forgot about it.

Unfortunately you've already told him, I think. So here's what I think you need to do.

You need to look at what he's afraid of, and counter those fears. You don't have to do all of these things if they're too burdensome, but it's up to you.

-He thinks you might be a bit of a **** who'll cheat on him so: Never cheat! Don't flirt with other guys in front of him. Call him when you're out drunk, so he knows you're thinking of him and not humping someone else.

-He thinks he might not compare in the sack, so: tell him he's great. Pretend he's big! Tell him you don't usually come. Don't tell him, all the things you've done. If he wants to try new positions / toys etc, be coy and say you'd like to try, but don't tell him if you've done it all before. Let him take the lead.

-The virgin question: this one's probably the toughest: don't mention your previous experience. If he asks, avoid the subject and say it doesn't matter, if he presses you, make sure you tailor your experiences to sound like they're a thing of the past, and avoid going into the gory details. If you have to, talk about how crap all those guys were. But not physically crap, don't say they were too small or something, say they were boring or didn't treat you right. Never, never introduce him to any exes, especially good looking ones. Best not let him see too many photos either.

That's all from me, you don't really have a big problem, but my advice I'd that if you like this guy, accept him as he is. Don't try to change him, because you can't. Just try to alter the way he sees you and your past.

Good luck
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Giggsy's Girl
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#96
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(Original post by Mousickle)
Yet again TSR doesnt seem to have gotten over the idea that sex is somehow dirty and wrong *le sigh*.
Nobody on here has said sex is dirty or wrong. It's the number of people you're willing to sleep with which some people think is disgusting - for such a young person to have casually slept with that many people, well I find it shocking and quite vulgar. It's bad enough when guys sleep with loads and loads of women, but there's something even more sleazy when it's a girl with a high tally. But that's just my opinion, if it works for you and you don't see a problem with it then good for you.
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Left Hand Drive
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#97
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#97
yep must be like throwing a sausage down a close
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village_anonymous
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#98
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#98
Guys annoy me sometimes.

You hear a lot of guys saying how girls don't put out, but when girls do it's "omg that's disgusting, I bet she is riddled, I wouldn't wifey that" etc

Double standards?

I think it's wrong for girls to judge guys on a high number, I like sex and I will strive to have sex with girls who I am attracted to and not what I can get. Is that bad?

Likewise is it bad for a girl to have sex with guys that she's attracted to?

The problem comes when a girl is just having sex because she likes sex and she doesn't care who with, now THAT is a slut. Other than that though, I don't care how many she has a slept with.
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mehhh.....hi.
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#99
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#99
I know someone who is 17 and has slept with 25-30 people.

But yes, it is a lot.
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zav
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#100
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#100
Probably over average but who cares? As long as she is happy then it's fine. Wouldn't put me off.
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