Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the advice
    The only way I can get him out of my life is if I drop out of uni.
    Is there anyway you could transfer to another school?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Squiggy184)
    Is there anyway you could transfer to another school?
    Not until next year
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Blah blah blah, you're so boring. No one cares. Tell him to **** off - problem solved.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not until next year
    Try and hold it out, the year is almost half over! just try and stay in a group or in public.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    http://www.google.mv/imgres?imgurl=h...iw=963&bih=544
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Tell him to gtfo your way. Say it once and mske it clear.
    Clearly he feels ur a walkover and thats ur oen fault for not coming across as harsh from day 1. Well i dont blame u.
    But anyways you need to tell ur friends like wtf who kicks someone if they dont like them??? Are u madd

    he needs help, that weirdo!!!!!
    • #2
    #2

    Is there no one whom you are close to at uni who you can confide in?

    This guy's behaviour is clearly not the norm and having just got out of a controlling relationship I will say now that you have to be very careful around giving any kind of information out to this bloke. Knowledge is power and the more he knows about you, the more he can control, manipulate and exert power over your life.

    Can you not make yourself less availiable to him? Don't call or text him and make sure you are never on your own with him. If he oversteps the mark then you HAVE to come out and stand up for yourself. Don't drop out of uni because of one mentally disturbed creature, ask for support from your tutors, go to an assertiveness class etc. He will likely jump on any sign of weakness you show as it will reinforce his belief that he can still have a relationship with you.

    Good luck!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Oh my goodness no wonder you feel so bad.
    Hmm it's a tough one but there comes a time in everyone's life where they just have to stand up for themselves. .. and I know that sounds a really cruel thing to say, as it's clearly extremely intimidating but you have to be brave. :console:

    I see what you mean about your mum, and you don't want to be in the posession she was in, it's understandble, but people like him want girls that can be pushed around, and you can't keep running from your fears.

    Your going to have to rally up your friends support, because if they don't support you on this then they are not friends. Do you know or could find out if he's had any past girlfriends at Uni? Usually it's really easy to spot if someone likes another one in a group of friends. :confused:

    Be brave and stand up for yourself, you can do it!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by 786girl)
    Tell him to gtfo your way. Say it once and mske it clear.
    Clearly he feels ur a walkover and thats ur oen fault for not coming across as harsh from day 1. Well i dont blame u.
    But anyways you need to tell ur friends like wtf who kicks someone if they dont like them??? Are u madd

    he needs help, that weirdo!!!!!
    I'm not a doormat he is just very good at manipulating because he's a nice guy in front of everyone who wouldn't hurt a fly look about him. But he is possessive around me
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Is there no one whom you are close to at uni who you can confide in?

    This guy's behaviour is clearly not the norm and having just got out of a controlling relationship I will say now that you have to be very careful around giving any kind of information out to this bloke. Knowledge is power and the more he knows about you, the more he can control, manipulate and exert power over your life.

    Can you not make yourself less availiable to him? Don't call or text him and make sure you are never on your own with him. If he oversteps the mark then you HAVE to come out and stand up for yourself. Don't drop out of uni because of one mentally disturbed creature, ask for support from your tutors, go to an assertiveness class etc. He will likely jump on any sign of weakness you show as it will reinforce his belief that he can still have a relationship with you.

    Good luck!
    Thanks for the advice
    I have stopped texting and calling but he kept asking for my email address but used the excuse that we are working together to get it. Luckily I gave him an email account which I just created. But I'm worried he's going to ask my friends for my real one.

    Easier said then done. I do want to tell someone but as I said before he's the outgoing one that everyone likes and people would think I was **** stirring if I tell anyone and make my remaining time at uni horrible.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Nutty_Psychologist)
    Oh my goodness no wonder you feel so bad.
    Hmm it's a tough one but there comes a time in everyone's life where they just have to stand up for themselves. .. and I know that sounds a really cruel thing to say, as it's clearly extremely intimidating but you have to be brave. :console:

    I see what you mean about your mum, and you don't want to be in the posession she was in, it's understandble, but people like him want girls that can be pushed around, and you can't keep running from your fears.

    Your going to have to rally up your friends support, because if they don't support you on this then they are not friends. Do you know or could find out if he's had any past girlfriends at Uni? Usually it's really easy to spot if someone likes another one in a group of friends. :confused:

    Be brave and stand up for yourself, you can do it!
    I wish everyone would stop saying stand up for myself when I'm not a doormat I told him where to go and he doesn't want to take no for an answer it's not as easy as saying 1,2,3 unless you've been in that position. :mad:

    My friends won't believe me because I normally sit on my own and get on with my work unlike him who everyone likes because he looks like the type that wouldn't do that.
    No he hasn't had a GF before but he has a lot of girl friends but I'm guessing he's been friend zoned so many times he thinks he can use my shyness to his advantage.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What was the point of even replying then?

    Serious answers please
    You seem to be a very, very unsympathetic person. Just say him directly you have no interest and thats it. I don't see a problem. Especially not one that deserves nearly half a page.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You thought he was my boyfriend when I said on the original post that he is my male FRIEND.
    Obviously you are the one who does not understand

    Stop posting on my thread you are not being helpful.
    Okay, I've only read through half the thread and you're already starting to get on my nerves OP.

    Seriously, do something about it if he's annoying you, and quit whining. If it's really bothering you, other people's reactions should be the last thing on your mind.

    Just get rid of him, and stop crying to TSR then knocking everyone's answers.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by patientology)
    You seem to be a very, very unsympathetic person. Just say him directly you have no interest and thats it. I don't see a problem. Especially not one that deserves nearly half a page.
    What's there to be unsympathetic about? :lolwut::confused:

    Obviously you didn't read my OP I said I told him directly and he wouldn't accept it then he started hitting me.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by amyshamblesxx)
    Blah blah blah, you're so boring. No one cares. Tell him to **** off - problem solved.
    Like your style.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by patientology)
    You seem to be a very, very unsympathetic person. Just say him directly you have no interest and thats it. I don't see a problem. Especially not one that deserves nearly half a page.
    You sound unsympathetic to me
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by staring.space)
    Okay, I've only read through half the thread and you're already starting to get on my nerves OP.

    Seriously, do something about it if he's annoying you, and quit whining. If it's really bothering you, other people's reactions should be the last thing on your mind.

    Just get rid of him, and stop crying to TSR then knocking everyone's answers.
    If you did red my thread you would see that I said thank you for the advice to everyone apart from the person that wasn't being helpful. :confused:

    Who's whining obviously you have never been in this position to judge because you live in a world full of candy and flower petals :mad:
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Meant read not red
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If you did red my thread you would see that I said thank you for the advice to everyone apart from the person that wasn't being helpful. :confused:

    Who's whining obviously you have never been in this position to judge because you live in a world full of candy and flower petals :mad:
    If you think I live in a world of "candy and flower petals" you are very much mistaken. Over the past 3 months I have been through the worst times in my life so far, so don't judge me.

    Get some perpective. You don't know me either. And FYI, you have whined at more people than just one.

    If he's stalking you that bad, go to the police.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I made a thread the other day about this clingy guy.

    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...light=flirting

    After I wrote this I started to think about his behavior and things he says and I just noticed that when we are alone he is different to when we are in a group.

    He seems controlling and possessive when he's around me especially lately But other people think because on the outside he comes across as this lovable friendly person who everyone likes and won't kill a fly, but when we are alone he's very suffocating and demanding.

    So people won't believe me if I say anything negative about him because I come across moody, when really I'm just very shy and I think he is taking advantage of my shyness to get what he wants.

    Why I think he's controlling/possessive because he's started saying and doing things which reminded me of my dad and he was very physically and mentally abusive to my mum, and they look like warning signs and we are not even a couple.

    I wanted to know what you think when someone says or does things like this.

    -Taking pictures of you secretly without your permission
    -Gets pissed off and questions why you didn't reply to a message straight away. (I'm not dead I'm going to reply)
    -Looking over your shoulder when you are on your phone wanting to know who you're talking to
    -Always giving an intense evil look if you mention another guy around him.
    -Always wants to follow me everywhere I go.
    -Always wanting to interrupt a conversation I have with someone else especially a guy like a cockblocker.
    -Always wanting to know where you are going whether library, cafe, home :mad:
    -When you disagree with him he forces his opinion on you, making you feel like you are wrong and he is right and says "replying back like that is what gets you hurt"
    -Always asking personal and private questions which has nothing to do with him
    -When I told him I didn't like him that way he started hitting my shoulder and kicking my leg.
    -Eavesdropping in to your conversations with someone else.
    -Always has to be in viewing distance to keep an eye on me in a stalkerish way.
    -Always wanting to know what you eat, when you eat, why you are not eating.
    -Always sitting behind or next to you practically invading your personal space in an intimidating way. (I can feel he's eyes burning through me.)

    He knows I only see him as a friend/brother but he's pissing me off now that I don't even want to talk to him.

    It's getting to the point where I don't even want to be at uni any more and I want to drop out.

    What do you think I should do? Help!!!!!!

    By the way I'm 19 and he's 21
    Normally I'd say possessiveness should be seen as cute in a guy but here those a clear warning signs of deep psychological imbalance i.e. dump his mentally disturbed ass and move on. But do it subtly and at first on the phone in case he gets violent.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: December 5, 2010
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Did TEF Bronze Award affect your UCAS choices?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.