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What the hell - suddenly a social outcast =/ Watch

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    (Original post by Steezy)
    If people I've known for 10 years are swayed by someone's opinion, they deserve to be ignored. **** em.
    Or if they just want to start being pricks for no reason then **** them.
    Way more important things to focus.
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    dw i'll be your friend
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    (Original post by Steezy)
    Well if I ever catch myself bullying others by turning their friends against them and making them miserable, for no reason at all... I'll remember bullying is just the spice of life
    I completely agree with everything you have wrote. Just remember ALOT of people are manipulative so try and play them at their own game. There's plenty of things you can do to make sure you are not a victim. You need to adapt to these pricks. Always be proactive in your approach. It's better to talk **** than not to talk at all it seems.
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    (Original post by Lamps08)
    Good luck then mate. There is a thing about being too honest though. Always look after No.1. Always be true to yourself innit, and **** anyone else who gets in the way.
    Don't take honest as a translation for mug. If I don't like someone or something, I don't bother with them/it. Hence if someone starts manipulating my friends against me, I **** them all off and just hope that one day they'll see the error of their ways. But if I caught myself doing the same to someone else, I'd have serious words with myself. Bullying is bullying no matter what angle you look at it
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    (Original post by Steezy)
    Well if I ever catch myself bullying others by turning their friends against them and making them miserable, for no reason at all... I'll remember bullying is just the spice of life
    Harming people for no reason is not manipulation, it's psychopathy. What I mean by manipulation is that you should smooth social contact with a few white lies and then a true friendship will develop on its own afterwards. Being yourself works only in the long term (but it does work, whew!).
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    (Original post by JmJtr)
    Or if they just want to start being pricks for no reason then **** them.
    Way more important things to focus.
    Exactly. Concentrate on yourself - health, career, money, girls, having fun. The rest will come with you just being yourself
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    (Original post by Lamps08)
    I completely agree with everything you have wrote. Just remember ALOT of people are manipulative so try and play them at their own game. There's plenty of things you can do to make sure you are not a victim. You need to adapt to these pricks. Always be proactive in your approach. It's better to talk **** than not to talk at all it seems.
    Yeah I get what u mean.
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    (Original post by Glowy Amoeba)
    Harming people for no reason is not manipulation, it's psychopathy. What I mean by manipulation is that you should smooth social contact with a few white lies and then a true friendship will develop on its own afterwards. Being yourself works only in the long term (but it does work, whew!).
    Yeah I think we're using different definitions of manipulation
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    (Original post by Ammo)

    Help
    Hang out with people who accept you and love you. Not just people who need you as a shoulder to cry on when they're down.. If there's one thing I wish I'd known, it's that as soon as you get a persistent bad feeling about someone/a group of people, pull out and hang with other people.
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    (Original post by Glowy Amoeba)
    Harming people for no reason is not manipulation, it's psychopathy. What I mean by manipulation is that you should smooth social contact with a few white lies and then a true friendship will develop on its own afterwards. Being yourself works only in the long term (but it does work, whew!).
    Tbh this is very true. I view myself as someone very real probably one of the most real people I know but even when I first meet people I do act differently sometimes. I may also sometimes be manipulative in that I lie about certain things.

    But after a while when I get comfortable with that person then I tend to be myself more.
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    Stop kissing ass and doing favours all the time, you're pretty much screaming to be used. There's no such thing as best friends and given the right incentive, anyone can turn against you or go behind your back. If you're feeling angry and betrayed, then good, at least you've now learned an important lesson... for your sake, I hope.
    Did something like this happen to you? because it would explain your bitterness. There is such a thing as best friend. FACT.
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    (Original post by Cassandra_Z)
    Yeah :/.. I read a post the other day that had "mate" all over it and had to read it multiple times since it was so confusing. Can the term mate also be used towards females? or is it just directed to males only?
    Yeah it can be used towards females, though it's more of a guy thing. When a guy is referring to his mate, it's usually a guy.
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    (Original post by innerhollow)
    I know what it's like to be in your place, OP. As awful a feeling as betrayal is, PLEASE do not let the shallow actions of other people let you lose focus. Your final year studies are far more important that some fair-weathered friends you met at uni! Trust me, some friends are just completely overrated. People come and go, I mean a best friend who you just couldn't imagine living without, only a year on from that, might not even be someone you say "hi" to in passing (true story actually). Just focus on getting a good uni grade, I beg you.

    If you really need an explanation, well the typical one is that they've been talking about you behind your back, and decided to cut you out... I mean why would you want to waste another thought on those people? Please do your best to move on!



    Definitions are there to enhance communication. Your definition of a "best friend" (someone you trust your life with) is acting as a real barrier to communication because that's not how most other people view it. Really, based on just the words that make it up, a "best friend" should simply refer to the friend you are closest with. I suggest you revise your definition.

    Of course this is about a lot more than definitions- of course a bit of wariness and security needs to be exercised when dealing with other people, but you're taking it a bit far here.
    You're right. I might change it, and just refer to it as "close friend" rather than "best". But I'm an ignorant ****, so I might not and then forget about it.
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    (Original post by alibobs)
    disturbing? seriously?
    Yes, you don't think so?
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    I think you need to start having words. Let them know you're hurt. Ask them if you have upset them etc. (of course you probably haven't but you should make them feel a little bit guilty)
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    (Original post by Ammo)
    Hi guys,

    I have to put this honestly the last 2 months have literally been the worst of my life. Im a final year uni student and I dont know why but suddenly ive become a social outcast.

    One of my closest mates who is on a forced gap year visited the uni 3 times so far without telling me. My so called best mate has suddenly spread a whole load of lies about me to my cousin and our joint mates back home which is causing them to lay into me. And out of 6 birthday parties for people who iv always considered really close friends I wasnt invited to 4 of them. To make it worse I didnt even find out they happened until the photo's went up on facebook. These are people who I have spent so much time with, bailed out of sticky situations by sending money or physically backing up in fight, over ran my phonebill by £100 when theyre on a downer just trying to keep them happy etc. To put it straight Iv been the best friend I can honestly be so I dont know why this is all suddenly happening. Once fair enough. But 4 out of 6 bloody hurts!!!

    I mean the latest one made me look like a complete idiot. One of my friends (who didnt brush me off on his bday smash up) was shocked when he found me in the library. He was like "how comes you aint in manchester for X's bday?"
    Me being told the party is on thursday just said "nah you've got the day wrong, its on thursday." Then as the day wore on I tried getting hold of different mates to chill but none of them were replying to my texts. Finally someone said "oh we're at X's bday thing." I asked what bday thing, and turns out theyd all gone out iceskating and for a meal etc. I was told not to worry because it was a small thing and that only a few people went and that thursday party is for everyone. Then of course the facebook pictures went up. A few people my ass!!! It was literally all of her friends except me. And for me to be texting half the people at the birthday and leaving facebook messages and statuses asking where everyone is hiding has made me look like a complete idiot.

    4 out of 6 bday's man. I mean on this most recent one Iv always been there for the girl. Iv sat for hours talking to her when she's down, kept em company, everything!!!!
    This seriously takes the piss and it hurts. I feel like billy no mates and honestly don't know why this is happening

    Help
    If you can't think of anything you could have possibly done THAT bad (which I'm sure you've racked your brains), then I reckon someone doesn't like you for whatever reason and has managed to turn everyone against you.
    Try and speak to your kinder friends and ask them what's going on. Maybe see the nicest people on their own if you can.
    Make new friends.
    Chin up, you poor thing xxx

    This happened to me a few years ago. I split up with my partner & we had a lot of mutual friends. He spoke to them about the break up but I didn't. He'd known some of them longer. They took his side and preferred to be with him. I cut them out, moved on, made new friends. They're not worth my time.
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    yeah, this happened to me. i just decided that i'd rather no friends than friends who treat me like that.
    turns out the reason was because i decided to stop getting incredibily drunk all the time and embarassing myself/ruining my life on a weekly basis, and they said i had become 'boring'
    well, sorry "friends" but i don't ever remember the reason for my existence being to amuse you at my expense :mad:

    so, i just got new friends and they're much nicer
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    Sorry if someone already posted this, was a lot to read.

    When someone told you their problem did you tell anyone else it? Even if it seemed like not a secret, or you were asking out of genuine "I am worried about so-n-so how can I help them" concern, or just mindlessly mentioned someone was upset about something you thought minor.

    -this- will make a group turn against you in the way you described, as chinese whispers will have made it out like you were *****ing and lying about someone and the trust will be gone.

    I fell into this trap so many times without realising it, so carefully look back at everything you have ever said to anyone and drive yourself insane trying to figure out what it was. Or just leave them to it, lash back a bit by being too busy for things they do invite you to, you will feel more in control of your life and better for it. Eventually if they are worth keeping around they will find a way back into your life naturally.
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    (Original post by derp)
    Yes, you don't think so?
    I don't understand the use of the word disturbing in this context to be honest.
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    (Original post by MoanyLisa)
    I have a friend like that. And that's part of her personality and charm. And I wouldn't ditch her for the world, even if most people think she's the strangest person in the universe
    Not saying its a bad thing, im sometimes like that.. its just everything in moderation and also most people find that type of behaviour annoying.
 
 
 
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