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Never Had Sex Before - Please Help Watch

    • #6
    #6

    Don't feel pressurised into it.

    Especially not by the pigs of males who have dominated by this thread. Most of them are probably immature 14-year-olds who have nothing better to do with their time their time than give "advice" about something they don't understand.

    As has been said, you're ready when you're ready. And only then.

    16's young and you still have your whole life ahead of you.
    I'm not sure if your boyfriend wants to either - some guys would rather not have the "responsibility" it carries and would prefer a more platonic relationship (which is not necessarily a bad thing, by the way).
    And half your friends who claim to have had sex probably haven't.

    I'd like to point this fact out:
    - sex is for babies
    (no, not babies having sex, for any sick minded people out there, but to have babies - you know what I mean!)

    This sounds really old-fashioned, but that is after all nature's purpose of sex. And of course it provides the opportunity for accidents to happen!

    That said, it's your choice what you do with your life.
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    I reckon the fact that you're only 16, and you've been waiting 1.5 years without sex form your boyfriend is fine, pretty good in fact. Shows you have some sense and brains, and that you're not just one of these naive young girls who open up their legs to any guy as soon as they start menstruating. Your boyfriend obviously cares for you to not have pressured you long time ago, so all I can I say just do it when you're ready and it feels right.
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    In your defence, that's actually the most mature thing you've said in this whole thread.

    Or your way of admitting defeat to me. I don't know.

    Either way, our views are the antitheses of each other. So can I conclude that sex isn't important to you much?

    If that's the case, if you were my girlfriend, I doubt you would be for very long.
    I still don't accept anything of what you say, and think its all quite childish, but considering you think the same of me and neither of us is going to budge, we've hit a standstill. If by 'much' you mean as much as it is important to you, then totally no. But I do think it can be important.
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    (Original post by Boobies.)
    I still don't accept anything of what you say, and think its all quite childish, but considering you think the same of me and neither of us is going to budge, we've hit a standstill. If by 'much' you mean as much as it is important to you, then totally no. But I do think it can be important.

    Not just to you but people who share your view of she should wait.

    What makes full sex so special? considering she has done everything else (at least it's implied by her saying 'we've done other stuff')

    seems to me if you are ready and comfortable for all that then you are ready for sex and it's just 'a social thing' rather than anything else preventing it
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    I reckon the fact that you're only 16, and you've been waiting 1.5 years without sex form your boyfriend is fine, pretty good in fact. Shows you have some sense and brains, and that you're not just one of these naive young girls who open up their legs to any guy as soon as they start menstruating. Your boyfriend obviously cares for you to not have pressured you long time ago, so all I can I say just do it when you're ready and it feels right.
    Like to see your response to my post above.
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    You're immature as ****. Just break up the relationship because clearly you aren't ready for one.
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    Yuck.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay,

    SO me and my boyfriend have been going out for 1 and a half years now and we never had sex because I told him I wasn't ready and he said it's okay with him and that he'd wait for me.

    And I am wanting some good advice from you lot because my friends are seriously immature and they have had sex, heaven knows how many times, so they take it casually but I find it more important and I don't know what to do.

    Because I feel like I made him wait long enough, and what if he gets bored of me?

    Please help
    xx
    a whole year and a half without sex?......that guy is a "keeper" ...provided he didnt cheat on you.....I cant think of any guy out there that will wait that long....so he must be a "good" guy....
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    I don't get how you can be 'boyfriend and girlfriend' if there isn't a sexual element to the relationship. Unless you are high-schoolers who hold hands and call yourselves 'boyfriend and girlfriend', though. I'm guessing the people who write this crap are very young/are virgins etc.
    It all comes down to the fact that there can be sexual attraction and intimacy between two people (surely the only two things that are necessary to a serious relationship) without the two people having intercourse.

    What about couples who don't believe in sex before marriage? Or have some other reason that they can't have sex? You're saying no matter how intimate they are with each other, if they don't have sex it's nothing more than friendship?
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    (Original post by GeographyEllie)
    You are a really nice girl i'm guessing that you are of the female species

    Phuck off with your snide comments.
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    (Original post by Boobies.)
    I still don't accept anything of what you say, and think its all quite childish, but considering you think the same of me and neither of us is going to budge, we've hit a standstill. If by 'much' you mean as much as it is important to you, then totally no. But I do think it can be important.
    You don't accept anything I say....so you basically believe that guys and girls can be 'boyfriend and girlfriend' and never/hardly ever have sex? Are you saying that if you had a boyfriend, that you'd be happy to just date, hold hands, kiss etc but never jump each others' bones? That's not normal, unless you're like 65 years old plus or something.

    Most normal, healthy partners have sex on a regular basis and view sex as a necessary part of their relationship. Only 'childish' people think otherwise. So I find it ironic that you label MY views as 'childish'.

    To be honest, it's your age...if you're around 16 or 17 and still a virgin or haven't been out with anyone, then you are going to have immature views regarding sex and relationships. Then again, I've dated my fair share of 16 and 17 year old girls who were hornier than me and wanted sex more frequently than me. So it depends on the individual. Lots of girls that age love sex and do it frequently.

    You are either a virgin and/or have limited experience with sex and relationships. But I refuse to believe you don't get horny and I refuse to believe you would go out with someone and not want sex with them. You must be human, surely, and all humans are sexual creatures, end of.
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    Your subjective opinion, nothing more.



    Sure, sex isn't EVERYTHING in a relationship (unless it's a casual sex relationship), but it IS an ESSENTIAL part of it. A relationship without sex is just a platonic friendship.

    Men and women get together primarily because of SEXUAL ATTRACTION. If they are not going to have sex, why bother being together?

    Every straight person hooks up with a member of the opposite sex because they have a degree of interest in having sex with that person. You don't date a member of the opposite sex so you can 'hold hands in the park on a Saturday afternoon', or so you can 'hang out as best mates'. You might do those things IN ADDITION to having sex, though, but if those are the only things you do and there's no sex, then it's not a sexual/romantic relationship, but merely a platonic friendship.



    Why is she with this guy then? If there's no sex, what does she get out of it?

    If she isn't ready to have sex, she isn't ready to have a boyfriend, END OF.

    If people aren't ready to have sex, they should just stay single and remain only platonic friends with members of the opposite sex until they are mature enough to have proper relationships (i.e. which sex is a part of).



    What I feel sorry for is guys like the OP's boyfriend, who waste a year and a half with a girl who they're not even having sex with. In fact, no, I don't even feel sorry for him because he must be a complete chump if he spent so long with a girl who didn't put out.

    I'd have been out of there after 3 dates maximum if a girl didn't have any interest in having sex with me. I wouldn't waste my time. If a girl isn't ready for sex, then I don't want her.



    Don't come on here telling I 'need to grow up' or that I'm an 'absolute pig'. If anything YOU need to grow up, not me. If anything, the OP and her boyfriend need to 'grow up'. You are the one who basically states the following points:-

    1) Guys and girls can be 'boyfriend and girlfriend' without ever having sex with each other

    2) Sex isn't important in a relationship

    3) Any guy who thinks sex is important in a relationship is a 'pig' and 'needs to grow up'

    4) Any guy who gets with a girl and then wants to have sex with her is 'pig' or needs to grow up'.

    5) Guys should be willing to spend 1.5 years or more with a girl without ever having sex with her


    ....and you have the audacity to tell ME I need to 'grow up' and that I'm a 'pig'!!! Are these 5 points what you're saying then, Boobies?

    Can't you see what bull**** the above statements are?

    I can tell you're very immature and inexperienced with sex and relationships, Boobies. Let me put it to you another way...if you got with a guy you really fancied, then he turned around and told you 'he wasn't ready for sex', would you stick around for 1.5 or more years until he was ready? I would bet money you wouldn't. I would bet money you'd be sucking the **** of a guy who was more willing to satisfy your sexual needs.

    And don't call men who wants sex 'pigs'. Women love to **** just as much as men. Sex is a normal, natural human desire...NOBODY is a 'pig' for wanting it...they are simply HUMAN.

    Until you answer these questions, I am having a hard time taking you seriously, so I await your reply.
    I couldnt be arsed to read all your post p, but the part about no sex in a relationship being a platonic friendship? How about if two people are together, and the man has lost the ability to use his "member" due to an accident or something else? I know about this from real life situation, yet the two are completely in love. Your making your judgement based on YOU, any relationship to YOU without sex is just platonic, which shows how highly you rate it and how important sex is to you, and not to others. Sure sex is great and enhances a relationship, but it doesnt mean that two people cant be completely happy and in love without it.
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    You don't accept anything I say....so you basically believe that guys and girls can be 'boyfriend and girlfriend' and never/hardly ever have sex? Are you saying that if you had a boyfriend, that you'd be happy to just date, hold hands, kiss etc but never jump each others' bones? That's not normal, unless you're like 65 years old plus or something.

    Most normal, healthy partners have sex on a regular basis and view sex as a necessary part of their relationship. Only 'childish' people think otherwise. So I find it ironic that you label MY views as 'childish'.

    To be honest, it's your age...if you're around 16 or 17 and still a virgin or haven't been out with anyone, then you are going to have immature views regarding sex and relationships. Then again, I've dated my fair share of 16 and 17 year old girls who were hornier than me and wanted sex more frequently than me. So it depends on the individual. Lots of girls that age love sex and do it frequently.

    You are either a virgin and/or have limited experience with sex and relationships. But I refuse to believe you don't get horny and I refuse to believe you would go out with someone and not want sex with them. You must be human, surely, and all humans are sexual creatures, end of.
    I agree
    GameMaster!
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    (Original post by Ebbson)
    It all comes down to the fact that there can be sexual attraction and intimacy between two people (surely the only two things that are necessary to a serious relationship) without the two people having intercourse.
    Why not just have intercourse then? Why hold off? If you're not gonna have sex with someone, just be mates, just be companions.

    (Original post by Ebbson)
    What about couples who don't believe in sex before marriage?
    People who 'don't believe in sex before marriage' are brainwashed by religion to believe sex before marriage is a sin. They are brainwashed to associate guilt with sex. How can a normal, healthy human desire be a 'sin' and why should you have to feel 'guilty' for doing something as normal as sex with someone you are going out with but not married to? It's silly. But if people want to make that choice and torture themselves by not having sex until they are married, and then let their partner torture them for the rest of their life after they've got married, then that's up to them.

    REALITY CHECK: People who 'don't believe in sex before marriage' still get horny like all other humans beings do. They just believe their 'horniness' is a sin or something they should feel guilty about, instead of seeing it as healthy and normal.

    (Original post by Ebbson)
    Or have some other reason that they can't have sex? You're saying no matter how intimate they are with each other, if they don't have sex it's nothing more than friendship?
    Really, deep emotional intimacy without a sexual element is just a very deep platonic friendship.

    If a couple were having sex, but then one of them had a freak accident or something that mean he/she could no longer do the sexual act, then that's different. But being together with someone when you're both sexually attracted to each other and both capable of having sex, yet not doing it is bizarre. If that's the case, you may as well just be friends, because that's basically what your are in all but name.
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    (Original post by natashapt)
    How about if two people are together, and the man has lost the ability to use his "member" due to an accident or something else? I know about this from real life situation, yet the two are completely in love. Your making your judgement based on YOU, any relationship to YOU without sex is just platonic, which shows how highly you rate it and how important sex is to you, and not to others. Sure sex is great and enhances a relationship, but it doesnt mean that two people cant be completely happy and in love without it.
    See the reply I put to the guy above (Ebbson). Sure, if someone loses the use of their sexual 'member' due to an accident that's different, but healthy couples being together and not having sex isn't, unless you've been married for 10, 20, 30 years plus and are sick of the sight of each other, or you're just really immature and lack experience of sexual and relationships.
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    (Original post by Colour of Mustard)
    I agree
    GameMaster!
    Thank you. I'll +rep you soon as a I can (I've run out of reps for today because I had to give out so much negative rep to people who replied to this post lol).
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    Why not just have intercourse then? Why hold off? If you're not gonna have sex with someone, just be mates, just be companions.



    People who 'don't believe in sex before marriage' are brainwashed by religion to believe sex before marriage is a sin. They are brainwashed to associate guilt with sex. How can a normal, healthy human desire be a 'sin' and why should you have to feel 'guilty' for doing something as normal as sex with someone you are going out with but not married to? It's silly. But if people want to make that choice and torture themselves by not having sex until they are married, and then let their partner torture them for the rest of their life after they've got married, then that's up to them.

    REALITY CHECK: People who 'don't believe in sex before marriage' still get horny like all other humans beings do. They just believe their 'horniness' is a sin or something they should feel guilty about, instead of seeing it as healthy and normal.



    Really, deep emotional intimacy without a sexual element is just a very deep platonic friendship.

    If a couple were having sex, but then one of them had a freak accident or something that mean he/she could no longer do the sexual act, then that's different. But being together with someone when you're both sexually attracted to each other and both capable of having sex, yet not doing it is bizarre. If that's the case, you may as well just be friends, because that's basically what your are in all but name.
    Haha tbh I completely agree about the religious issue. It is brainwashing.

    Interesting points.
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    You don't accept anything I say....

    Haha, I find it rather interesting that you've made all these assumptions about me from the fact that I don't think its abnormal for a young couple not to have sex. I am indeed 17, but I'm not a virgin, i do very much like sex, and if i dated someone i would want to have sex with them. I don't think sex is necessary for a couple to be a couple. I think if people are happy being a couple and not having sex, leave them to it. That doesn't mean I don't like sex, or that I don't want it from a partner, so I don't really know where you pulled that from.

    You shouldn't assume so much.
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    (Original post by vee3)

    Not just to you but people who share your view of she should wait.

    What makes full sex so special? considering she has done everything else (at least it's implied by her saying 'we've done other stuff')

    seems to me if you are ready and comfortable for all that then you are ready for sex and it's just 'a social thing' rather than anything else preventing it
    For teenage girls, it can be a big thing. I guess its just different when your a girl.
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    I think he has waited long enough for me though :/
    My past relationships always ended badly because none of the guys wanted to wait and then they got bored :/

    ... Okay so I shouldn't plan it then, so the day when I feel ready it'll just happen right? And I won't feel so nervous or tense about it?
    If you're 16, how come you joined student room in 1999? Or is this just because it's anonymous? Otherwise you would've been 5 at the time of joining, pretty unlikely lol! But just wondering
 
 
 
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