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Every girl I meet has a boyfriend :( Watch

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    (Original post by Aurora.)
    We know exactly what he means by 'broken down', but all you're doing is proving that it's about the need to make the conquest rather than an interest in the woman.

    By saying she has a boyfriend when she doesn't, she's proven that
    a) she is not interested in you, and
    b) you should not be interested in her, because you've just said you hate lies
    It's not really about the conquest at all. When I first meet a girl I like - especially if I'm in a rush - the conversation will always be short, I don't really flirt with her obsessively etc. I just tell her that I'd like to know her a little bit better and we exchange numbers and part ways. When we meet up in an orgainsed environment like a date - I then tell her what my objectives/intentions are...

    If she says she has a boyfriend, I'd like to find out whether she was lying first or not. Like in my own personal example - she lied because she didn't want a relationship but I still got her anyways. It's not really a conquest for me. Sometimes I'd also like to grow my social circle.. so when a girl comes out with "I've got a boyfriend".. "when did I even indicate that I'd want to sleep with you during our conversation"

    Sorry it's not explained properly, im on my PS3 and it's the browser's ****e.
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    (Original post by Aurora.)
    Good God I hope you're a troll. The thought that you're actually out there talking to women horrifies me.
    How so? Please explain that comment.

    Please comment on what I wrote regarding when to persist vs when to walk away. I'll get back to you once you've replied SPECIFICALLY to my comments....
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    (Original post by sophisticated)
    Why is it manipulation?

    God forbid it might actually be the truth, or a desperate last resort to get the creep to sod off and leave her alone. Unfortunately this kind of technique clearly would not work in some cases anyway....how can a woman win in this situation if there are guys like Neil_K around? I refuse to believe that EVERY single woman he has come across has actually lied about having a boyfriend. I expect the majority of them were telling the truth, or trying to get him to leave them alone, or actually believed they had a "boyfriend" or "seeing someone" at that time, as opposed to it being some kind of manipulative lie or form of test. The low and generalised opinions of women expressed by some men on here are really hacking me off.
    low, generalised opinions? from whom exactly? I hold you guys in high regard, you're a human being afterall, just like me.

    Every piece of social interaction is a form of manipulation., If I lie to you - I'm making you believe something else, that's manipulation. If I want you to come to the cinema with some friends to watch Harry Potter - that too is manipulation. Not all manipulation is bloody. However lying surely has no benefits.
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    How so? Please explain that comment.

    Please comment on what I wrote regarding when to persist vs when to walk away. I'll get back to you once you've replied SPECIFICALLY to my comments....
    I have no interest in doing anything just so you'll get back to me. INSERT UNNECESSARY CAPITALS. That's my problem with you - you're coming across as being worryingly self-obsessed, your tone is ridiculous.

    With regards to explaining my comment, though... Do you think if you showed a girl what you'd written here, or even talked in vaguely this way to her, she'd still be interested? It genuinely freaks me out that there are guys out there putting on the charming face when this is what's going on in their heads.
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    (Original post by sophisticated)
    Why don't you show women some RESPECT then, and TRUST that they're being HONEST with you, instead of trying to "break them down".
    HONESTY, TRUST & RESPECT have to work BOTH WAYS. I am always honest with women in that I am upfront about my intentions, I am honest about who I am and what I do in life etc. I show my true self, openly and honestly.

    I respect women by treating them fairly and like human beings, and by not lying, not playing games, not manipulating them, not 'beating around the bush'. I respect women by approaching them directly and honestly and making my intentions known right from start, instead of trying to lie or manipulate my way into their pants etc.

    Trust is something that has to be earned. When I first meet somebody, including a woman, I don't know if I can trust them until the trust has been earned, so I have to get to know them somewhat before I feel I can trust them.

    And I expect the same in return from women. If a woman lies to me about her boyfriend situation, then that means she can't be trusted and that she isn't respecting me, so of course I'm going to 'break her down' in that case.

    (Original post by sophisticated)
    Also, you're the one who needs to stick to the topic instead of bragging about your own so-called experiences of "breaking down girls" who said they had boyfriends when they were in fact lying.
    Not once have I bragged about my own experiences. Show me an example of me 'bragging'. I simply STATED WHAT I'VE PERSONALLY EXPERIENCED.

    BRAGGING - "I've slept with 200 women in the last few years, I'm a master with women, women love me, I can get any women I want"

    STATING WHAT I'VE PERSONALLY EXPERIENCED - "I've noticed that women lie about their boyfriend situation, and these are my observations from my actual experience...."

    So as you can see, I stated what I've experienced, not bragged. Let's keep things real here.

    (Original post by sophisticated)
    Unfortunately your argument is pretty shaky too my dear. You can't prove all of this rubbish that you're spouting about "breaking girls down". You expect us to take it at face value and believe you. Why should we, when this whole debate is about you refusing to take the words of other girls' at face value when they tell you that they have a boyfriend?
    I assure you I'm still standing strong. Despite all the numerous replies, attempts to break me down, personal insults, etc...NOT ONE PERSON HAS MANAGED TO INVALIDATE ANYTHING I'VE SAID SO FAR. And this is because what I speak is the TRUTH. And you cannot break down or argue with simple TRUTH.

    I assure you, I really am the last person you want to debate with, either online, in person, on the phone etc....because I will break people's bull**** down.

    (Original post by sophisticated)
    Conclusion is that you're an arrogant little boy who can't take no for answer. I just hope that I never have the devastatingly bad luck to come across you in a club, or anywhere else for that matter, whether I'm single or not. Code of honour? Ha! Please..... I really hope you're just a convincing troll.
    If you or anyone on this site is ever in my city (Manchester, UK), I'll put my money where my mouth is. I'm willing to meet up with anyone from this site IN PERSON and debate with you FACE TO FACE, and I'm also willing to approach ANY girl, ANY TIME, ANYPLACE in front of whoever wants to meet up with me.

    I don't need to hide behind a computer screen. If anybody wants to take me up on this, send me a PM and we'll arrange to meet up. You can't get fairer or more honest than that.

    The girls who have replied to this thread are full of sh*t, and until they present me with a convincing, straight up response then I really find it hard to take any of you seriously.
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    (Original post by Aurora.)
    I have no interest in doing anything just so you'll get back to me. INSERT UNNECESSARY CAPITALS. That's my problem with you - you're coming across as being worryingly self-obsessed, your tone is ridiculous.
    If you can't be bothered to reply to my points specifically, then I'm wasting my time talking to you and can't take you seriously.

    (Original post by Aurora.)
    With regards to explaining my comment, though... Do you think if you showed a girl what you'd written here, or even talked in vaguely this way to her, she'd still be interested?
    I absolutely stand by everything I've written here that if I showed a girl what I've written, she'd agree with me. Her ego might not want to admit it, but DEEP DOWN she'd know everything here I've said is the TRUTH.

    The bottom line: You girls know FULL WELL you lie about having boyfriends, and that 'I've got a boyfriend' can mean a number of different things depending on the situation. It may or may not be true depending on the girl and her specific situation. But you can't fool or manipulate guys like me, so don't even try.

    To answer your question even further.....as I've said earlier in this thread, I've had these kind of conversations with women a lot, and, if anything, questioning them more about their 'boyfriend' situation has actually made them MORE INTRIGUED and MORE INTERESTED in me.

    I'll give you a typical example. I approach a girl and she tells me 'Sorry, but I've got a boyfriend'. I've got 2 choices here. I can simply WALK AWAY, thus losing out on that girl forever. OR I can ask her something like 'What do you mean exactly that you've got a boyfriend?'. I choose to ask her the second question.

    At this point the girl will usually ask 'why?', and then I'll tell her something like 'well, I know women lie all the time about having a boyfriend. So I don't know whether to take you seriously'.

    This will continue the conversation and get her intrigued. I can usually find out the truth from here. If a girl tells me she really does have a boyfriend and is happy with him, and I get the feeling she's being truthful, I respect that and I leave her alone. But often a lot of girls will admit they aren't happy with their current boyfriend, or that they don't REALLY have one....

    Now, if I'd simply walked away and taken the line 'I've got a boyfriend' at face value, I'd have missed out on that girl. But because I stayed there and talked to here and found out what the real score was, I managed to turn it round and exchange numbers, get a date etc.

    Can't you now see why it's important not to take the line 'I've got a boyfriend' at face value, and instead find out what the truth is?

    (Original post by Aurora.)
    It genuinely freaks me out that there are guys out there putting on the charming face when this is what's going on in their heads.
    WHAT is going through their heads? When I'm talking to a girl, what goes through my head is HONESTY, TRUST & RESPECT, getting to know her, being upfront and honest about my intentions, what about her I find attractive, etc. If that kind of thing freaks you out, too bad.
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    I'm wasting my time talking to you and can't take you seriously.
    Yeah, I know the feeling :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    ...
    http://nickshell1983.files.wordpress.../04/hitch1.jpg

    Is this you?
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    HONESTY, TRUST & RESPECT have to work BOTH WAYS. I am always honest with women in that I am upfront about my intentions, I am honest about who I am and what I do in life etc. I show my true self, openly and honestly.

    I respect women by treating them fairly and like human beings, and by not lying, not playing games, not manipulating them, not 'beating around the bush'. I respect women by approaching them directly and honestly and making my intentions known right from start, instead of trying to lie or manipulate my way into their pants etc.

    Trust is something that has to be earned. When I first meet somebody, including a woman, I don't know if I can trust them until the trust has been earned, so I have to get to know them somewhat before I feel I can trust them.

    And I expect the same in return from women. If a woman lies to me about her boyfriend situation, then that means she can't be trusted and that she isn't respecting me, so of course I'm going to 'break her down' in that case.



    Not once have I bragged about my own experiences. Show me an example of me 'bragging'. I simply STATED WHAT I'VE PERSONALLY EXPERIENCED.

    BRAGGING - "I've slept with 200 women in the last few years, I'm a master with women, women love me, I can get any women I want"

    STATING WHAT I'VE PERSONALLY EXPERIENCED - "I've noticed that women lie about their boyfriend situation, and these are my observations from my actual experience...."

    So as you can see, I stated what I've experienced, not bragged. Let's keep things real here.



    I assure I'm still standing strong. Despite all the numerous replies, attempts to break me down, personal insults, etc...NOT ONE PERSON HAS MANAGED TO INVALIDATE ANYTHING I'VE SAID SO FAR. And this is because what I speak is the TRUTH. And you cannot break down or argue with simple TRUTH.

    I assure you, I really am the last person you want to debate with, either online, in person, on the phone etc....because I will break people's bull**** down.



    If you or anyone on this site is ever in my city (Manchester, UK), I'll put my money where my mouth is. I'm willing to meet up with anyone from this site IN PERSON and debate with you FACE TO FACE, and I'm also willing to approach ANY girl, ANY TIME, ANYPLACE in front of whoever wants to meet up with me.

    I don't need to hide behind a computer screen. If anybody wants to take me up on this, send me a PM and we'll arrange to meet up. You can't get fairer or more honest than that.

    The girls who have replied to this thread are full of sh*t, and until they present me with a convincing, straight up response then I really find it hard to take any of you seriously.
    I read nearly all the responses on this thread and again, you were right. The other haters grouping up to try and negating your points by twisting your words are just being very silly and not helpful.

    The point was the 'i have a boyfriend' line can be broken down into different meanings. You just want to investigate further which of the meanings are correct in the girl's case. It's not treating women like toys (an example of how the haters tried to twist your words deliberately). It's just that you're interested in them and want to know whether they are telling the truth or not. If they are, you will obviously walk away. Simple. But the haters just don't get that. Don't worry anyway, those haters are probably mostly kids or young teenagers who don't know how to debate constructively and don't want to be left "out of the group". So they join others in calling you a creep, weirdo etc. See what I mean. Childish nonsense like that ain't needed in debates. Some of them are probably being ultra-defensive about the topic like you mentioned earlier.

    Like I said i agreed with your points generally and it's great to learn from someone who has had some REAL experience with women and understands some things about them.

    They see you rollin' :cool: they hatin'
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    What is it with the desperation on TSR? I don't mean to be harsh, but if you just bide your time, the right lady will come along and won't have a boyfriend. Just got to be patient.
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    **** whether or not a girl 'has a boyfriend'. Often, it's a bull**** line they come out with by default. It means nothing. It's usually just a test....

    ALL women use this comeback on men at some point in their lives, and I'm pleased to tell you that when a woman says 'I've got a boyfriend', it's not always a problem!

    Anyway, so why DO girls tell you they have a boyfriend? Well I think the first question should be 'Should I be asking girls if they have a boyfriend or not?'. Well, after many years doing this and much reflection, I've come to the conclusion that women lie an awful lot. If you ask a girl when you first meet her 'Do you have a boyfriend?' or 'What's your relationship situation?' or 'Are you single?', there is no guarantee you will get a truthful answer.

    Some girls will genuinely be single and tell you that. Others will genuinely be taken, and tell you that. Other girls will 'pretend' to have a boyfriend so as to not seem easy or to 'test' how persistant you are. Heck, some girls will even pretend they're single if they really like you enough. I really have seen it all with their lies...

    Either way, the bottom line is THERE IS NO WAY TO TELL IF A GIRL REALLY DOES HAVE A BOYFRIEND OR NOT, EVEN IF YOU ASK HER.

    You might think you're being really morally correct to ask if she's got a boyfriend, but since you can't take a woman's answer to the question 'Do you have a boyfriend?' at face value, it really is futile to ask.

    The solution, then, is to simply assume she doesn't have a boyfriend. Do NOT ask her if she is taken. Just approach her as you normally would. If she brings up the boyfriend objection at any point, ignore her and carry on as normal. You should know that I don't advocate sticking around too long trying to make conversation with a girl you've just met; I advocate approaching Direct and giving her your business card and telling her to call you when she's not busy. It's very unlikely you'll get the boyfriend objection from this kind of approach, although it does sometimes happen.

    Once you've started giving out your business card to many girls a week, you'll naturally weed out the ones who want you from the ones who don't.

    If a girl DOES give you the boyfriend objection, there are several 'comebacks' you can use. I usually tell them 'Well maybe it's time you upgraded to a MAN-friend instead of BOY-friend then!' Women say they want a MAN, not a boy, so I'm giving them the perfect opportunity!

    As you now realise, the whole line 'I've got a boyfriend' is very ambiguous. It might be true, it might not. Since you're not a mind-reader and you haven't got a crystal ball that tells you whether she's lying or not, all you can do is do your approach as normal and then see how it pans out.

    Once girls start calling you, you might get girls tell you they have a boyfriend but still want to see you. This is where things get a bit 'dodgy'. I've been on dates with girls who have boyfriends before, and it usually doesn't turn out pretty since the boyfriend usually gets jealous and starts hating me.

    If a girl is in a monogamous relationship with a guy, yet is willing to cheat with someone she's just met, that proves she's dishonest, untrustworthy and doesn't respect her boyfriend. Would you really want to go out with a girl who is a liar and who you can't trust? **** no! We're real men, we don't put up with that ****.

    But if you don't know if she's got a boyfriend and you see her, it's not your problem. If you've asked her, or better still not asked her, and she hasn't mentioned a boyfriend, ASSUME SHE DOESN'T HAVE ONE AND CARRY ON AS NORMAL.

    I've found this the best way to handle the 'boyfriend' problem.

    Also, there's another few points I want to make. A lot of girls are 'sort of seeing' guys, but are not that seriously involved with those guys. They will often refer to those guys as 'boyfriends', but in reality they are just beta guys that the girl is seeing until someone better and more alpha (like me or you!) comes along. So even if a girl says she 'has a boyfriend', you are most likely to be far more alpha and far more exciting than him anyway.

    Anyway, a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship is not a marriage...who cares if she's got a boyfriend...you are the kind of man she's looking for, her 'borefriend' is probably just that, boring and predictable.

    Most guys don't know how to handle disrespect or bad behaviour from women, and therefore end up letting a woman control them and take control of the relationship. Women lose attraction and respect for these guys. Also, most men are very bad in bed. They don't know how to give women orgasms. So guys, next time you hear the 'I've got a boyfriend' line, just smile, say to her 'Well maybe it's time you upgraded to a MAN-friend', and then give her your business card and tell her you'd love to get to know her and tell her to give you a call when she's not too busy.

    Odds are she's either lying about 'having a boyfriend', or she's in an unhappy/unsatisfying relationship....in which case all the more reason for you to carry on as normal with her.

    Good luck!
    I need some help with myself, I've been on dating sites since about 2000 (The year) and been on 3 dates and that's it! I think I look normal, but I guess because I don't act up like a big man they must think I'm a kid because I like talking about normal things like travel and just nice talk.
    I don't understand, I seem to get on well with girls in the work place as much as general chit chat goes, and I've made a brilliant best friend who's a girl. I just want to know what you think about dating sites, are these the girls who are extra picky! Hence noone replies or at least stops after the 3rd message.
    Alot of the time I see they've read the message and I reply the next day saying "Why haven't you replied" But originally I would wait a month with no reply so I'm just getting it out of the way straight away.
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    (Original post by d123)
    No it won't. Any women who's intrigued by an idiot like that is just a bit odd to be honest.


    I really wouldn't advise any other guys reading this to take any notice of this. You might get lucky very occasionally, but generally, you'll just make the girl feel uncomfortable. Also, girls aren't just there to be hit on, or 'broken down'. The way you speak about women is incredibly misogynistic really. You don't sound clued up about women at all - how many of these girls who have supposedly fallen for your tactics have actually turned into relationships?
    I know you say things like this but I've been on dating sites since 2000, and I've not had many replies, they can't be bothered replying in thanks to some advice I've given about a travel place for example, people just don't like talking, I don't understand girls on these dating sites, why they can't just simply reply with a thanks at least or something, like people do in real life.
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    (Original post by Cable)
    I read nearly all the responses on this thread and again, you were right. The other haters grouping up to try and negating your points by twisting your words are just being very silly and not helpful.

    The point was the 'i have a boyfriend' line can be broken down into different meanings. You just want to investigate further which of the meanings are correct in the girl's case. It's not treating women like toys (an example of how the haters tried to twist your words deliberately). It's just that you're interested in them and want to know whether they are telling the truth or not. If they are, you will obviously walk away. Simple. But the haters just don't get that. Don't worry anyway, those haters are probably mostly kids or young teenagers who don't know how to debate constructively and don't want to be left "out of the group". So they join others in calling you a creep, weirdo etc. See what I mean. Childish nonsense like that ain't needed in debates. Some of them are probably being ultra-defensive about the topic like you mentioned earlier.

    Like I said i agreed with your points generally and it's great to learn from someone who has had some REAL experience with women and understands some things about them.

    They see you rollin' :cool: they hatin'
    Thank you. You are someone who GETS the message of what I've written in this thread. You have my respect for this.

    The girls who replied here DON'T GET IT. They couldn't present a convincing argument to me, and instead just twisted what I was saying to make me out as some 'misogynist', etc, and just gave me a bunch of meaningless 'personal insults'.

    Cable summed it up nicely.

    I think I can safely say I've won this debate. It's been fun. Do take care folks.
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    Thank you. You are someone who GETS the message of what I've written in this thread. You have my respect for this.

    The girls who replied here DON'T GET IT. They couldn't present a convincing argument to me, and instead just twisted what I was saying to make me out as some 'misogynist', etc, and just gave me a bunch of meaningless 'personal insults'.

    Cable summed it up nicely.

    I think I can safely say I've won this debate. It's been fun. Do take care folks.
    I don't think so. I just got bored and found something better to do, as I decided there's no point trying to debate with somebody who just sticks their fingers in their ears and whistles if you're trying to tell them something they don't want to hear.

    You need to learn to take no for an answer, and accept that you're not god's gift. End of. And now that is officially debate over, as we're going to have to agree to disagree.
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    OP just take it as a good thing if the girl tells you they have a bf, you don’t want to be falling for someone and then find out she has a bf.


    There are some girls who would kind of lead a guy on, and then tell him she has a bf later on... leaving the guy confused.

    The number of guys who pretend they are single is ridiculous too. Especially those who take your number, text/ flirt with you constantly and want to go on dates, and then later on when you do find out they have a gf… excuses like ‘we’re on a break’ etc come up.

    I feel that because of those reasons a lot of people feel the need to ask whether a person is single or not.
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    (Original post by Tech)
    perhaps you're looking in the wrong places? and don't give up even if you can't find anyone single; people often overlook the fact that relationships always change over time, and most of them will end. If you find a girl that you really like then be a friend to her and maybe she'll break up and she'll think of you after then.

    good luck!
    Yes, I find this can work pretty well. Personally, I don't like rushing into relationships with people I hardly know, so, creepy as it sounds, it's better if there's a sort of barrier while I can actually get to know her.
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    Broken them down, i.e. instead of just accepting their words at face value I delve a little deeper to get to the REAL TRUTH.
    And that's how you live your life?

    Wow. I think it is INSANE and kind of creepy to be so intense about girls you have just met. Just be friendly or move on. Even if it isn't the truth... so what? If they later decide your not so bad, they would come clean or forget the boyfriend thing anyway.

    This 'PUA' stuff makes me giggle. Instead of scrunching up your eyes chanting 'I am the prize, I am the prize' before launching into some telesales script from an ebook designed to make you think interrogation techniques are the way to attract women, why not chill out and try to develop relationships or have fun or whatever naturally as it happens without overthinking it so much?

    Even if this telesales technique packaged as 'relationship' advice ebook crap works... it is a pyyhric victory because you have destroyed the fun and spontaneous nature of human relationships by turning it into a business.
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    (Original post by Neil_K)

    If a girl DOES give you the boyfriend objection, there are several 'comebacks' you can use. I usually tell them 'Well maybe it's time you upgraded to a MAN-friend instead of BOY-friend then!' Women say they want a MAN, not a boy, so I'm giving them the perfect opportunity!
    I'm not a violent person, but my instant reaction to reading this was ' that deserves such a slap round the face'
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    (Original post by Jake22)
    Broken them down? Que?

    Is this social chit-chat or Guantanamo Bay?
    You'd be surprised about how many girls like the intensity of a bit of water boarding for information.

    (sad state of affairs when you have to comment in brackets that you're joking, but these days and on this forum especially..it's needed in situations like this..)
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    (Original post by Epione)
    I'm not a violent person, but my instant reaction to reading this was ' that deserves such a slap round the face'
    I'm male but if I imagine myself as a female my reaction to his comment, which I imagine is said it such an arrogant/obnoxious tone... (Why I am a transformer or something similar is a different matter..)

    http://i660.photobucket.com/albums/u...Facepalm-2.jpg
 
 
 
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