Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I once kicked my ex in the nose when he was tickling my feet. Was kind of funny afterwards.
    However I did apologise a lot. You need to have a talk with your girlfriend and make sure she understands.
    She's obviously feeling uncomfortable so until you confront things it's not going to get sorted
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok, before everyone starts shouting abuse and how I should turn myself into the police, you need to know the whole context, and understand that it was entirely an accident.

    You may or may not have read the thread, but I'm the person who hates having their neck touched ... and my girlfriend likes to touch and kiss my neck. So, in order to get over this, we were trying something where I would be totally relaxed and trusting of her, and then she would slowly touch my neck to see how I'd respond.

    So, I was trusting and relaxed. I was so very relaxed, I was in a completely different headspace and, to be honest here, I forgot she was there with me. I even forgot I was there. Then she touched my neck, and brought me out of it very suddenly...

    I really did just act on instinct and, in an attempt to get the 'attacker' away from me, I hit out ... and caught her. It was only after that that I even remembered it would be my girlfriend, and as soon as I realised I was stroking and kissing where I'd hit her, getting the ice, cuddling her and apologising.

    She said she was all right with it and she understood I hadn't meant to violently attack her, even that she should have gone slower and not taken me by surprise.

    However, since then, she hasn't responded to my texts or be as active in conversations, she seems jumpy around me, she was hesistant to get in a car with, she doesn't sleep half laying on me anymore...

    I don't know what to do - I really didn't mean to hit her, and I love her so much ... but I think I've scared her, and I'm probably one of the most non-violent people you could meet. Is there anything I can do to make it up to her?

    TL;DR version: Accidentally hit my girlfriend in circumstances that are IMO completely understandable. Not a violent person, but now she seems scared of me - anything I can do about it?
    Well if this is true, then you didn't mean it, people make mistakes, however you cannot make this a regular occurance, even if it was just an accident, which it sounds like it was. I suggest when you next see her, sit her down and make sure she is next to you and explain what happened and how sorry you are, and you promise never to do it again. I would also see a therapist who could maybe help you with this neck thing (don't mention what happened!) but if you want to stay with your gf, tell her how sorry you are and that you're telling her because you love her and care for her. Good luck x x x
    Offline

    6
    ReputationRep:
    What the hell is wrong with most of the people here... the guy hit her ACCIDENTLY. accidents happen, get over it.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Don't understand all the extreme reactions to this. My wife and I accidentally hit each other frequently!

    OP - just act as normally as you can, being apologetic where appropriate, and give her the time she needs to get over it. It won't take long.
    Offline

    6
    ReputationRep:
    And whats with everyone saying he should get psychological help? because he dont like people touching his neck? wtfff?!! for crying out loud stop trying to read so much into the situation maybe hes just ticklish..
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by HaHaLOL)
    And whats with everyone saying he should get psychological help? because he dont like people touching his neck? wtfff?!! for crying out loud stop trying to read so much into the situation maybe hes just ticklish..
    A few years ago, my friend tried to strangle me.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It wasn't really a punch, more like a punch-slap hybrid (it wasn't proper fighting, it was like - as someone said - kicking out when someone tickles your feet.) It caught her on the cheek, it's not like I socked her in the mouth; it didn't really bruise, but was a bit red for a day or so.
    In other words you pimp slapped her. Nice Going.

    In all seriousnesss it wasn't a randomer touching your neck and even so it's not an excuse to hit them. So considering you agreed to let your girlfriend touch your neck, you knew it was going to happen and when it did you hit her I imagine she will be devastated.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by honoris)
    In other words you pimp slapped her. Nice Going.

    In all seriousnesss it wasn't a randomer touching your neck and even so it's not an excuse to hit them. So considering you agreed to let your girlfriend touch your neck, you knew it was going to happen and when it did you hit her I imagine she will be devastated.
    WTF is a pimp slap? I caught her on the cheek; obviously, I feel like ****, but it could have been a lot worse.

    Yes, I knew. However, I was dozy and half asleep, then she suddenly touched my neck when we had discussed a verbal warning beforehand - I woke up and reacted on instinct, because I forgot she was even there.

    It's just not good form to say, "Well, it was sort of your fault..." when she's crying into your shoulder, so I'm taking all the blame for it.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Did she make you a sammich after? Yes?

    MATE:yep:

    Only joking, seems like you have some issues though. Not anger management issues but anxiety (exact opposite) issues. Talk to your gp and get some free nhs therapy.

    As for your gf, maybe it justs seems worse than it is because your mind focusing on it. Like you anything that seems like your gf has gone off you, your mind will clock on to. But anything eles like the good things your mind forgets.

    Sit her down and talk to her though and ask her if there is a problem and get over it together. Like i said there probably isn't.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    The responses on here are stupid. Plenty of people have natural reflexes to being touched places like their neck. Obviously, since it's a very sensitive / vulnerable part of the body that needs to be protected. Completely understandable, if not unfortunate.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    As long as none of these three things are true, you're forgiven:
    1. It was a dragonball Z type obliteration, where she achieved airtime.
    2. It was a falcon punch.
    3. You're OJ Simpson.

    If you answered 'No' to these things, you have no reason to feel guilty.

    Maybe a bit of time will help return things to normal.
    Out of curiosity, How long ago was this?
    How much damage was inflicted?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Something_Ironic)
    As long as none of these three things are true, you're forgiven:
    1. It was a dragonball Z type obliteration, where she achieved airtime.
    2. It was a falcon punch.
    3. You're OJ Simpson.

    If you answered 'No' to these things, you have no reason to feel guilty.

    Maybe a bit of time will help return things to normal.
    Out of curiosity, How long ago was this?
    How much damage was inflicted?
    It was on Sunday evening, and her cheek was a bit red for a day, but thankfully no bruise.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    you should get a friend who is bigger than you to just grab your neck when you're not expecting it and not let go till you calm down. that's what i'd do, but that's also probably why i'm not a psychologist

    is it just if it's a deliberate touching of the neck, or do you spaz out if someone brushes it accidentally? because maybe she's scared she'll touch it and you'll flip out again, she probably doesn't hold it against you
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    WTF is a pimp slap? I caught her on the cheek; obviously, I feel like ****, but it could have been a lot worse.

    Yes, I knew. However, I was dozy and half asleep, then she suddenly touched my neck when we had discussed a verbal warning beforehand - I woke up and reacted on instinct, because I forgot she was even there.

    It's just not good form to say, "Well, it was sort of your fault..." when she's crying into your shoulder, so I'm taking all the blame for it.


    LOL, wow you were harsh. You have slapped her and possibly deminished her trust from you as a result of it. If you can be strangled and contain a fear of it for years, then can she not if you slapped her out of the blue?
    You have options, your choice.

    Your options;

    A) Apologise to her profously as many other people have suggested.
    B) Allow her to slap you in the face which has also been suggested.
    C) Make sure she has forgiven you by taking her out somewhere and getting a little intimate and diminshing any detriments on your behalf and hers.
    D) Get to know each other more.
    E) Have a one-to-one, links in with option C.
    F) Explain your situation/feelings/reasoning; it will show you trust her.
    G) Get rid of your 'phobia' of neck fondling or whatever you want to call it.
    G) Try a combination of all of the above options.
    H) Forget her, move on and slap another (A joke on the latter).
    I) Follow my advice which is; option G in combination with options ; A, B, E, F, G and E.)

    If after picking a positive option (Or a combination of) she should forgive you. But remember never to repeat this act EVER again.
    I may seem harsh in my post but it is only because I do not think slapping was the correct thing to do. But am only sympathetic because you have 'manned - up' and taken responsibility for your actions. I as a girl appreciate that there are men who do care about how 'she' feels. Otherwise you could easily blame it on her. Of course if she, after you doing all this for her does not forgive you then the fault lies in her. But because of your ACT you are to blame unfortunately. She could not have anticipated your reaction and if I were in her position I would have probably reacted the same (Up to this point).

    I would HIGHLY suggest that you sort this problem out with your neck being touched because it is abnormal and very dangerous. Perhaps when she regains your trust try it again but only after you have talked it through and have anticipated all dangers and risks involved.

    Overall, I wish you luck and hopefully you shall make the correct choice.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    was she a slapper?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It was on Sunday evening, and her cheek was a bit red for a day, but thankfully no bruise.
    In that case, i believe that you deserve no blame and i strongly feel that, in a couple weeks, all will be well. All the best, mate.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Hibba01)

    LOL, wow you were harsh. You have slapped her and possibly deminished her trust from you as a result of it. If you can be strangled and contain a fear of it for years, then can she not if you slapped her out of the blue?
    You have options, your choice.

    Your options;

    A) Apologise to her profously as many other people have suggested.
    B) Allow her to slap you in the face which has also been suggested.
    C) Make sure she has forgiven you by taking her out somewhere and getting a little intimate and diminshing any detriments on your behalf and hers.
    D) Get to know each other more.
    E) Have a one-to-one, links in with option C.
    F) Explain your situation/feelings/reasoning; it will show you trust her.
    G) Get rid of your 'phobia' of neck fondling or whatever you want to call it.
    G) Try a combination of all of the above options.
    H) Forget her, move on and slap another (A joke on the latter).
    I) Follow my advice which is; option G in combination with options ; A, B, E, F, G and E.)

    If after picking a positive option (Or a combination of) she should forgive you. But remember never to repeat this act EVER again.
    I may seem harsh in my post but it is only because I do not think slapping was the correct thing to do. But am only sympathetic because you have 'manned - up' and taken responsibility for your actions. I as a girl appreciate that there are men who do care about how 'she' feels. Otherwise you could easily blame it on her. Of course if she, after you doing all this for her does not forgive you then the fault lies in her. But because of your ACT you are to blame unfortunately. She could not have anticipated your reaction and if I were in her position I would have probably reacted the same (Up to this point).

    I would HIGHLY suggest that you sort this problem out with your neck being touched because it is abnormal and very dangerous. Perhaps when she regains your trust try it again but only after you have talked it through and have anticipated all dangers and risks involved.

    Overall, I wish you luck and hopefully you shall make the correct choice.
    I didn't exactly slap her out of the blue. It's not like I came home drunk and decided to beat her up. I said I didn't know how I'd react, and to take it slowly and tell me when she's about to begin.

    She didn't do that (and her hands were damn cold) ... but she's crying into my shoulder and her cheek's red, so I didn't bring that up.

    I really don't need to hear how it's all my fault here. I already feel like ****!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I didn't exactly slap her out of the blue. It's not like I came home drunk and decided to beat her up. I said I didn't know how I'd react, and to take it slowly and tell me when she's about to begin.

    She didn't do that (and her hands were damn cold) ... but she's crying into my shoulder and her cheek's red, so I didn't bring that up.

    I really don't need to hear how it's all my fault here. I already feel like ****!
    Yes, that is why you have the options which I have already put forth. Let me know how it goes and what you decide to do at the end of the day.

    Toodles.
    Offline

    6
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    A few years ago, my friend tried to strangle me.
    I still dont think that you not liking people touching your neck, regardless of the reason, requires you to seek psychological help.

    I hate it how these days people feel the need to label every little difference they have as a psychological illness! its just a preference you have, people should start embracing their uniqueness and stop thinkin that anything they think or do that is even slightly outside the 'norm', is somehow wrong, or means that they are mentally ill.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Broderss)
    Lay off the Stella
    I tried to give a thumbs up to your comment, but TSR politely suggested that I should do so to other people and lay off you for a while. Lmao.

    I guess I'm stalking you?
    No biggie right? :ahee:
 
 
 
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: May 24, 2011
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Did TEF Bronze Award affect your UCAS choices?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.