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    you know what - I can so totally sympathise. I'm 23 and I've never had a girlfriend or anything haram like that alhumdulillah. we're only human and all of us want to be loved. Many times I have comtemplated having a girlfriend (Shaytaan's influence) but I don't want to give in to my naffs (desires) and end up commiting zina.

    It's especially difficult as you see bf/gf relationships all around and it just maked things sooo much more difficult. I don't really free-mix or anything (unless when at work when I have female work colleagues and female patients) and I just get so kinda shy around like hijaabi's and stuff. There have been a few that have kinda liked me but I really wouldn't know how to go about it!

    My family are no help - I told my mother and brothers/sisters that I would be grateful for their help in finding a wife - but to no avail.

    Keep your emaan strong. Alhumdulillah you are on the straight and narrow - don't give in to your naffs (desires) and shaytaan. Allah (SWA) knows all you are going through and surely at the end of the road you will get exactly what you're after inshaAllah

    you're not alone in this - there's plenty of us in the same situation, both brothers and sisters
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    Get your parents involved, tell them how you really feel. I'm sure they will find the best for you. Plus our religion allows you to sit with the potential spouse, speak to him/her in detail before making a decision.


    P.S, there is no harm in speaking to them generally or trying to get to know the person you're engaged to. Just bear in mind that it has to be limited to a level that has been allowed by our religion which means no haram acts/talks. In simple words, a formal relationship until to you get married (nikah).

    I'm engaged and I do speak to my fiance but within the limits given.

    Good luck to you.
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    (Original post by Nizzay!)
    Marriage comes first. Love comes after lol
    True, you can't love a person unless you live with them.
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    (Original post by Emmak7)
    If they don't see it as a "wasted life", then it's not a wasted life.
    and it's not "sad".
    It's just the way they've chosen to live their lives.

    I bet that some Muslims believe that living by the western values of drinking and one night stands is a "wasted life".

    Well he does see it as a waste because he wants a girlfriend and can't have one, does this make him happy? No. So it is a waste caused by his religion.

    Possibly but I don't really do either of those so..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    im 21, never had a bf bc its haram but i am fed up of being single. What can i do?
    Plz cnt advise me to disregard or quit my religion. Also, i would never use a website for single muslims. I prefer a traditionsl approach. My big problem is tht it is difficult to approach me as i am scared of committing a sin. I dnt want to disrespect my religio but i really want to love and be loved.
    You need to find a sheikh or go on an Islamic advice website like Sunnipath or something along those lines and ask the question there please don't ever bother asking questions like these on this site - you can even go to Yahoo Answers Ramadan section and ask there.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know two hijabi girls that say they will have sex with their partner before marriage
    No!

    They're not 'hijabi girls' then are they.... hijab isn't just a scarf... it's the rules about modesty. The headscarf is sposed to be the symbol. A real hijab means that you don't show off immodestly in any way.. to any person. Therefore, those girls who have a hijab on during the day... but then go around with a male, kissing, having sex with them etc... have actually lost their 'hijab' by doing these things.

    And if I get a neg for this... it's either from non-Muslims... or Muslim girls/boys that don't understand the concept of hijab.

    as for the OP... you don't 'need' a boyfriend. You can meet someone in your life... love them... but not go hang around with them in private.... and still love and marry them in the end. And now I've realised I made a mistake in my life recently... meh
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    im 21, never had a bf bc its haram but i am fed up of being single. What can i do?
    Plz cnt advise me to disregard or quit my religion. Also, i would never use a website for single muslims. I prefer a traditionsl approach. My big problem is tht it is difficult to approach me as i am scared of committing a sin. I dnt want to disrespect my religio but i really want to love and be loved.
    stay with company that are good muslims, maybe talk to them.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    im 21, never had a bf bc its haram but i am fed up of being single. What can i do?
    Plz cnt advise me to disregard or quit my religion. Also, i would never use a website for single muslims. I prefer a traditionsl approach. My big problem is tht it is difficult to approach me as i am scared of committing a sin. I dnt want to disrespect my religio but i really want to love and be loved.
    You should never let a religion dictate to you if it makes you unhappy.
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    (Original post by -M$ [email protected])
    Get your parents involved, tell them how you really feel. I'm sure they will find the best for you. Plus our religion allows you to sit with the potential spouse, speak to him/her in detail before making a decision.


    P.S, there is no harm in speaking to them generally or trying to get to know the person you're engaged to. Just bear in mind that it has to be limited to a level that has been allowed by our religion which means no haram acts/talks. In simple words, a formal relationship until to you get married (nikah).

    I'm engaged and I do speak to my fiance but within the limits given.

    Good luck to you.
    Trying to get to know the person you're already engaged to? Wow, the world really has gone mad.
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    This is kind of weird, I'm pretty sure I saw you quote yourself in the first page
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    (Original post by Love My Fiance)
    no, your wrong, how on earth could you say marriage comes first? so your stupid enough to marry someone you don't even know if you love them?? well mate, if you wanna have an unhappy loveless marriage then by all means do, but the way you think is so backwards, this is the 21st century people marry for LOVE
    Are you saying love is not possible after marriage?

    Also people marry for money and a British passport rather than love.

    (Original post by -M$ [email protected])
    True, you can't love a person unless you live with them.
    We need to get married.
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    (Original post by MovingOn)
    Trying to get to know the person you're already engaged to? Wow, the world really has gone mad.
    Whatever floats your boat.


    Atleast I'm happy.
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    (Original post by Nizzay!)
    Are you saying love is not possible after marriage?

    Also people marry for money and a British passport rather than love.



    We need to get married.
    I'm already committed. :no:
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    (Original post by Love My Fiance)
    if you really want to be loved like I did, then do what I did, dont just go out with any old guy,
    legendary
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    (Original post by dadude)
    legendary
    lol haha
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    (Original post by Nizzay!)
    Are you saying love is not possible after marriage?

    Also people marry for money and a British passport rather than love.



    We need to get married.

    whats the point marrying someone you dont know? theres a BIG chance you may NOT end up loving the person you marry, then what? get a divorce? add the the evergrowing number of divorces in the world? I don't get why anybody would be stupid enough to take a risk and marry someone they don't love, and if your concerned about them going after your british passport then don't marry an immigrant simple!
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    (Original post by -M$ [email protected])
    Whatever floats your boat.


    Atleast I'm happy.
    Well, they do say ignorance is bliss.
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    (Original post by MovingOn)
    Well, they do say ignorance is bliss.
    Speak for yourself. :rolleyes:

    But whatever, to each their own yeah?
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    (Original post by Love My Fiance)
    whats the point marrying someone you dont know? theres a BIG chance you may NOT end up loving the person you marry, then what? get a divorce? add the the evergrowing number of divorces in the world? I don't get why anybody would be stupid enough to take a risk and marry someone they don't love, and if your concerned about them going after your british passport then don't marry an immigrant simple!
    Agree completely!

    (Original post by -M$ [email protected])
    Speak for yourself. :rolleyes:

    But whatever, to each their own yeah?
    No, I'm not speaking for myself because I won't be ignorant about the person I marry. I will know him inside out before I even dream of spending the rest of my life with him. I would never 'try to get to know' someone after I was already engaged to them, you don't realise how crazy and backward what you said sounds!

    Sure, if that's how you want to live and the risks you want to take then go ahead, but I can still exercise my right to free speech and comdemn it as utterly ridiculous and shocking.
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    (Original post by MovingOn)
    Agree completely!



    No, I'm not speaking for myself because I won't be ignorant about the person I marry. I will know him inside out before I even dream of spending the rest of my life with him. I would never 'try to get to know' someone after I was already engaged to them, you don't realise how crazy and backward what you said sounds!

    Sure, if that's how you want to live and the risks you want to take then go ahead, but I can still exercise my right to free speech and comdemn it as utterly ridiculous and shocking.
    You can't get to know the true colours of a person unless and until you live with them. Surely, Islam doesn't allow that unless the couple is married? Its not a backward thought. Its just what my religion teaches and I'm not ashamed of practicing it no matter what people think because at the end of the day, its my life.

    I know very well that I haven't taken a risk, I don't need to explain you what and how happened but I know that I am very happy with my decision and my ways of carrying the relationship farther. As for your freedom of speech, ofcourse you can deem it ridiculous as they're your thoughts.

    I gave my opinion based on the OP which said that he/she was religious.
 
 
 
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