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I'm sick being treated like a piece of meat at clubs. . . Watch

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    (Original post by lovely_me)
    The highest rate of teenage pregnancy in the world is in sub-Saharan Africa. According to the World Health Organisation, Muslim countries have some of the highest rates of teen pregnancy.

    I'm not even going to discuss rape, in many Muslim countries marital rape and beatings aren't illegal.

    I don't necessarily see divorce as a bad thing. Often survey's view divorce as a positive thing, as it implies a higher sense of independence of women as they have the freedom to exist without depending on a men. If a couple don't love each other any more, why should they stay together?

    I agree the UK is not perfect, but if you don't like the lifestyle and the culture you are perfectly free to leave.
    What about the choice not to engage in that culture and the right to have an opinion i.e. I see the British police and the British govt taking the initiative to comment and act upon this aspect of British culture, namely, binge-drinking, should they leave too?
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    Solution? Go to a gay bar to dance. A guy's gay bar
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay this what happened with my drink getting spiked.

    It happened at a house party (not even a club) I had just popped around to say hi and to have a drink with them before they went to the club. I wasn't going along so was dressed in baggy jeans, baggy jumper, no make up and big boots. I had two drinks and began to feel really, really drunk, hazy and couldn't control myself. No one could understand why. I had come with a friend and her friend who was visiting, but was getting a coach home that night. My friend seeing that I was looking really bad called me a taxi to take me up the road home as she had to get her friend home.

    My friend had to go but since my taxi was going to turn up in a moment or two, she left telling a few of my "so-called" friends to just look after and make sure I get in my taxi. Instead, they were getting in another taxi to the club and one of the girls (I find out later this is how it happened) thought it would be fun to bring me along too. She later protested that she "didn't want me to miss out", even though the original friend wanted her to make sure I got in my own taxi home.

    There was this strange guy in the taxi who had been at the party and I didn't know him at all. I remember very little. I remember him cuddling me in the taxi and then stopping the taxi half way to the club and dragging me by the arm. We ended up at his house and where I remember bits and pieces like how I threw up in his bathroom, how I was screaming and crying, how I begged for him to "let me go" and "I want to go home", how he dragged me to his bed, took my phone off me, felt me up and wouldn't let me leave.

    He must have eventually let me go and get a taxi home, I don't properly know. I assume I must have been crying so much as I got home and my housemates saw that my eyes were bright red and my cheeks were wet. I also had bright red marks all over my breasts. The friend who sent me in the taxi originally came running to my house shortly after I was home and told me I had sent loads of text messages like "HELP ME", "In a guys house, won't let me go, HELP", etc and a million missed calls.

    The worst thing about it was that the girl who pulled me into the taxi, who I do understand wasn't entirely to blame, told me later that she saw him dragging me off and didn't stop it because "we seemed quite tight in the taxi" and that "she didn't want to spoil my night", even though she also said I looked like I was going to pass out and was falling over a lot. She also denied that he spiked my drink even though it must have been him (or some other psycho guy?) as I had been tripping and feeling seriously drowsy the whole night. I don't speak to her or her friends anymore.

    I also found out that guy was BANNED from the nightclub we were going to, I don't know what for, but why was he in a taxi to go there in the first place?

    Now I don't trust men anymore. I went home to my mum for the weekend because I just felt so traumatised being at uni and it f***ed up many weeks of study for me. It happened a month ago and I'm still pretty traumatised. My mum told me that I shouldn't let this stop me going out, I have to be strong, she knows I'm sensible and safe.

    If you stop going out then they've won, right?
    Why have you not reported him to the police?
    Do it, he clearly needs to be stopped, or he'll try it again.
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    (Original post by sixthformer)
    My religion teaches me this:"let there be no compulsion in religion , for truth is clear from falsehood"
    Really? I find it difficult to believe that the truth is somehow inherently obvious. If it were, why would we need rules and methods of discerning legal (and other) truths? Plenty of blood and ink has been spilt over some notion of 'truth.'

    Yes, i can see people drinking, having fun, smiling. But then i think, what is the purpose in this? Drinking only intoxicates you, causes you to be someone you are not. Going to clubs and parties , like the op has proved, even if it is not your intention, makes guys lust, and is just a breeding spot for corruption.
    Corruption implies some kind of unnatural instinct correct? Lust is a completely natural instinct. It's what makes humans procreate and continue the species. If anything, the Roman aphorism 'in vino veritas' is true. Alcohol is (among other things) a sedative and one of the stages of sedation is removal of inhibitions. i.e. the real you (without societal/other inhibitions) comes closer to the surface. So how is that 'corrupting' anybody? It just shows the uglier (but far more truthful) image of how people actually feel.

    Freedom is subjective. Is doing whatever you want freedom - or is it the opposite?
    I mean, look at it this way, anything that restricts you, restricts your freedom
    Surely freedom (or the lack therof) is a relatively objective thing that can be stated and discerned? Wouldn't it be possible to look and find the number of impediments to your 'freedom' therefore? It's not something subjective like aesthetics.
    a traffic light restricts you driving - does it mean it is a bad thing? Will it benifit you or make you ' free' if you could just pass it and knock other cars?
    Or is the true freedom being free from alcohol not changing your meddling with your thoughts, and being able to be totally your self, and not relying on intoxicating a potential partner to be with them, rather, getting them by chivalry, dignity, and honesty?
    That is a poor argument because I think everybody here acknowledges that there are perfectly good reasons to restrict freedom. Freedom is not an over-riding value in the eyes of most people. You're arguing against a strawman here.

    I also think you've kind of missed the point of casual flings. People aren't trying to woo the love of their life through 'chivalry [and] dignity.' They're usually reasonably honest that they're in this for a bit of fun (at least in my experience.) Feel free to decry that from a 'moral' point of view but you've still kind of missed their motivation on the matter. I have answered your point about 'totally being yourself' earlier in regards to alcohol. In addition, you've missed the point that people don't act totally as themselves when they're on the first date. Or at least very few people do. You mould yourself into what you think the other person would like to see. You don't allow the more private facets of your personality that you dislike into the date because you're trying to make a good impression. So if anything the casual 'we're both drunk' type fling is more honest that most people's first dates/the 'chivalry' that you are implying should exist (at least in most cases.)
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    (Original post by Hamesh)
    What about the choice not to engage in that culture and the right to have an opinion i.e. I see the British police and the British govt taking the initiative to comment and act upon this aspect of British culture, namely, binge-drinking, should they leave too?
    Yes...that's a choice too. The government is different as it's there job to look at problems and try to improve them.

    I'm just sick of the amount of people complaining about Britain all the time and constantly comparing it to other countries, Muslims seem to do this a lot i.e. 'Britain should ban alcohol' etc etc which is obviously not the best way to tackle the problem as history tells us.
    If you dislike enough a country to partake in tiresome criticisism all the time, then I would advise anyone not to waste their time being so negative and leave. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Then quit complaining.

    Either you have to face up to it, or go to a more classier place.

    Tbh, it's a club, what were you expecting? Guys acting all chivalrous? Get real.
    No but I expect that when I say "No" that someone leaves me alone.
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    Then dont go
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    (Original post by Wesker115)
    Have always found it sad and disturbing that so many guys think that this is the way to treat women. My advice, make sure you can defend yourself both verbally and physically if any get a little too "friendly" or don't go clubbing anymore. Neither of which are great solutions.
    cringe.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      No but I expect that when I say "No" that someone leaves me alone.
      Well some people don't take "No" for an answer.

      There are some guys out there that regardless of what the girl says, they will "pursue" her even if wanted it or not.
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      Why don't you try going to gay clubs? The guys there won't be interested in you, and you can still dance to music...
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      (Original post by lovely_me)
      Yes...that's a choice too. The government is different as it's there job to look at problems and try to improve them.

      I'm just sick of the amount of people complaining about Britain all the time and constantly comparing it to other countries, Muslims seem to do this a lot i.e. 'Britain should ban alcohol' etc etc which is obviously not the best way to tackle the problem as history tells us.
      If you dislike enough a country to partake in tiresome criticisism all the time, then I would advise anyone not to waste their time being so negative and leave. :rolleyes:
      I haven't heard of too many cases of Muslims wanting to ban alcohol - and in actual fact i'd argue that British people complain the most (not about alcohol, but nearly every other issue). But I agree you shouldn't be here if you don't like living here - and constantly complain, but that goes for foreigners and British people too.
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      Unfortunately clubs have just become a place for pulling now. :sadnod:
      Can I suggest maybe hitting some of the gay clubs? There are still straight guys there and you may get chatted up once in a blue moon but the majority of them won't be interested and you can always use the classic 'I'm a lesbian line' as they are much more likely to believe you.
      No but seriously, gay clubs, or a nice bar.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      Read my post again.

      I really don't dress like a slut at all, my skirts are a bit longer, I sometimes go to clubs in jeans and I NEVER reveal my cleavage. I don't want the attention so I try to dress as attract it less. Doesn't stop some blokes though.

      And I don't think I'm anything that special, I think all of the girls in the club are getting the same sort of treatment as me. It's just my experience.
      I read it. Read my post again, you will see I gave a variety of potential causes.

      And all other girls are definitely not experiencing that. Neither I, nor anyone else I know, has experienced anything like what you describe. The occasional creep, obviously, but not like that. And this is based on clubs near Stoke on Trent, which I would imagine has a fairly high creep:young women ratio...
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      The trouble lies in the fact that you're going to typical, mainstream clubs, which attract nonces at best. I'd suggest going to more specialist music nights, where people are there for the tunes and not to act all rapey.
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      (Original post by lovely_me)
      Yes...that's a choice too. The government is different as it's there job to look at problems and try to improve them.
      Doesn't detract from the point that our own govt reflects this as a negative aspect.

      I'm just sick of the amount of people complaining about Britain all the time and constantly comparing it to other countries, Muslims seem to do this a lot i.e. 'Britain should ban alcohol' etc etc which is obviously not the best way to tackle the problem as history tells us.
      If you dislike enough a country to partake in tiresome criticisism all the time, then I would advise anyone not to waste their time being so negative and leave. :rolleyes:
      I don't disagree. :yy:
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      If they're still harassing you after you've made it clear you're not interested you can either
      a) seek out security and tell them what's going on, hopefully if they just have a word they won't bother you again or will kick the sleazebags out
      b)ask if you can buy them a drink, go to the bar and order ice water for yourself and throw it over them an yell "maybe that will calm you down, you horny bugger. Now piss off and stop trying to hump my leg!"

      Or just take some guy mates if you don't like confrontation.... :ahee:
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      I used to be a bit like that, I either pretend one of my guy mates is my boyfriend or pretend I'm about to vomit violently when approached by said creepy guys. Seems to do the trick .
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      (Original post by 69Crazyfists)
      You can't have a club without guys looking to pull, it doesn't exist. You either stop going or learn to deal with it.
      Her problem isn't that they're trying to pull necessarily.. its that they don't take no for an answer. I would regard having someone shove their tongue down a girls throat without warning as quite animalistic, and that isn't the norm in most clubs. I'm sure if she got normal guys asking about her with the intention to pull, she'd find it much easier to brush the issue aside.. but it looks like she has some bad experiences.

      She's clearly in the wrong clubs/with the wrong crowd/giving the wrong image with her dressing...its one of, or a combination of these 3 things.
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      Still wondering why this isn't a problem for all OP's friends that she goes clubbing with :rolleyes:
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      Anon as I know people on here.

      I'm getting really sick of being treated like a piece of meat at clubs. Really sick of it. When I go to a club I don't go to pull, I go there to just chill out with my friends and dance a bit. I really love clubbing for that reason and don't want to stop going. But it seems that everytime I go out at the moment it turns into an unpleasant experience as I end up with loads of creeps following me, touching me, one guy even shoved his tongue down my throat without warning the other night. . . I always say "no" or "f*** off" or "I'm not interested" but still they pursue me, try to grind with me or something else.

      Guys just don't take "No" for an answer, even if you say it repeatedly. Hell I even had to slap a guy recently and scream, "GET OFF ME!" and he still pursued me. What can I do?

      Now don't get me wrong, if people want to pull at clubs that's fine, that's there call but I never ask for that kind of attention, i.e. I don't wear particularly tight or revealing clothing when I go out to get attention. I also don't drink, or drink that much, mostly because I had a horrible experience recently where my drink got spiked and I was dragged off to some guy's house.

      I always thought pulling or meeting someone should be a sub aim of the evening, not the focus to find anything that moves to f***. All I want is to be left alone. And if someone wants to ask me out or hell, even pull me, they can treat me in a respectable manner and not try and pull my skirt up in a club or touch me.

      Sorry about the rant. Anyone agree with me? Hell any advice? I really don't want to stop clubbing as I love it.
      Stop dressing like a ****?

      There has to be a reason why guys always come onto you.........
     
     
     
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