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    (Original post by fire2burn)
    You should speak to your GP or whoever you see if you think you might be hearing or seeing things that aren't real. It could just be a short term thing and in many cases for most people it is just a short term occurrence that can arise from things like stress, mood changes, etc. For a while we thought my cousin might be the same as me, but her symptoms of hearing things only last a few weeks at most and since then they've never reoccurred.

    For me it started with misinterpreting social cues, I mistook genuine accidents and quirks of nature for malice and deliberate intent against me. I thought people were going out of their way annoy me, if there was someone mowing their lawn they were doing to annoy just me even though I didn't know them, if someone glanced at me in the street they were doing it because I was under surveillance and being watched. Then I started hearing stuff, people talking about me. At first I just found it annoying but then I started believing some of the stuff they were saying and become even more paranoid.

    That's how it pretty much started out, not so bad at first but then gradually worse and worse.

    This site might help you it's got some info on psychosis plus there are two videos on the site about developing it, living with it, and then finally treating it.

    http://www.ei-team.org.uk/
    First video: http://www.ei-team.org.uk/video/?src=ei_team_vid.flv
    Second video: http://www.ei-team.org.uk/video/reconnect.php
    Thanks I'll definitely think about seeing my GP.

    It could just be a short term thing for me, hopefully.
    • #16
    #16

    Mmm. I've been feeling low and hating life ever since secondary school, but it took me until a few months ago to go and see my GP and find out I'm depressed - well, I knew I was depressed from the start, but didn't want to say anything to anyone because I was afraid - still am - that people will think I just want attention, and to be honest, anyone can relate to the issues I have but they can still get on with their life, and achieve good grades - yet knowing this, makes me feel selfish.

    I suppose going to the GP didn't help anyway. He said he'd hook me up with a counsellor but I never got a call back. It took me a lot of courage to tell him what I was going through, and now I'm too shy to go back and ask for help
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How did you deal with your trichotillomania? Although not diagnosed by a doctor (as it's not really necessary, the symptoms are pretty obvious) I pull the hairs out of my arms, eyebrows and the back of my head near my neck. Any tips would be great!
    Try and seek professional help as soon as you can. It is likely the doctor may not know what the condition is, my doctor didn't back in the day we went to see them but my mum found out and told them. I haven't been for any form of treatment though as my mum thought I was too young back then to see a psychiatrist but I think it would have helped. About 10 years on I still have the condition and am no closer to getting rid of it. Feel free to private message me, seeing as I don't know who you are. I'd be very interested to see how you get on and also answer any questions you might have. I have has hypnotherapy which I think didhelp but made me feel bad as it was so expensive To self help, get plasters and stress balls.. cover your thumbs because you need them to pull, and use a stress ball whenever you get an urge. The condition isn't one that gets easier with time though
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    I've got quite a mental health history...in the past Ive been diagnosed with quite a lot, basic gist, anxiety(been diagnosed social, general, PTSD, OCD, panic disorder, phobias at various times) since I started primary school (Im 19), depression since I started high school, since then I've cut myself, been diagnosed anorexic (restrictive type), bulimic, anorexic (purging type), had drinking problems...

    I nearly dropped out of high school when my anxiety was worst, after years of therapy I'm just about coping with university, I managed to acheive recovery before I moved for the most part, I just still struggle with my anxiety levels a lot in presantation settings and with new people, but I inform lecturers if I have to do a presantation so it doesn't affect my grades (theyre very accomodating), I sit exams in a smaller room, and I just do my best with new people...it's always gonna be an uphill battle but if you're determined you can still make your life everything you want it to be
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    (Original post by fire2burn)
    I'm too bothered about them being indecisive any more, can't blame them when what they're going by isn't an exact science either so requires a bit of guess work and filling in the gaps. Or maybe I'm too forgiving

    I've had the being told to kill people thing too, was it like thoughts put into your head for you or an actual voice telling you to do it? I found it difficult to disobey it and it's always something that leaves most people rather silent when brought up in conversation! Even though you're supposed to be able to tell your doctors anything, I still find that a really difficult thing to discuss with them.

    And I agree that it really is a postcode lottery. When I was living in Hull the provision of care was awful, I was often left for weeks at a time without anyone checking up on me despite being suicidal at the time and very paranoid. When I moved back home I was seen by a specialist psychosis team within a week and have had regular care from them since.
    You're right, it's a hard thing to pin down. I'm still mad about how I was treated back in Oxford but that's because they were totally inept :p: Otherwise I try to be understanding the rest of the time.

    It was a mixture of both the things you describe, tbh. That's why they can't quite figure it out: I'm a bit too confusing for them
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    (Original post by mazzie111)
    I struggle with depression and tbh everyday is just an effort. I have dreams but nothing satisfys me. I lost alot of friends through depression and i stopped being able to stick up for myself. I take medication for depression but that just makes me dopey. Its ruined me and noone understands because unlike a broken leg you cant see it really.
    I did get help and although its helped a bit i dont think i will ever feel happy.
    I take meds that make me drowsy and dopey also. All i want to do all day is sleep.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thanks for all the replies, athough I think it's awful that so many of us are affected by this stuff, it's reassuring to know I'm not alone.

    I've booked an appointment at the doctors though I havn't a clue how to even begin so I've started writing a dairy to kind of put down what I'm going through.

    Although at one point my hands were cut up and stuff from washing them too much (damn OCD) I'm not so much physically affected anymore, it feels like I'm trapped in my own mind tbh. Sometimes I'll feel these ridiculous highs like I have a plan and know what I'm doing and then I'll feel stupidly low with no direction in life. It's crazy. But yeah, it doesn't help that it's nearly exam time, I think school has definitely had a horrible effect on me since I was a kid and I feel that if I'm not on top of my work and if I don't know everything I'm a failure.

    Tbh I think a lot of teens are affected because of how much stress we're put under..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    it feels like I'm trapped in my own mind tbh...
    :hugs:

    Have you ever had CBT? I'm about to start some. They're hoping it will stop me being trapped in/out of rooms, etc. Might help you feel like you're more in control
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    (Original post by headphones)
    I take meds that make me drowsy and dopey also. All i want to do all day is sleep.
    i could actually sleep forever. i get up after hours and hours, sit down and fall asleep again. i fall asleep in letures, cinemas, cars, watching tv. its actually horrible.

    sorry you feel that way xxx
    .
    • #17
    #17

    I've had anxiety and panic attacks for a few years now and it massivly affects my life. I can't socialise normally and it's stopped me from having relationships. I havent told my family about it though, i'm emabarrassed and think they'll think i'm over-reacting. Oh well.
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    I too have OCD and lived with it for 5 years before i started to look for help.
    Long story short, i tried different CBT/antiety therapists until i found one i genuinely got on with. She charged me £60/h and had about 10 sessions of which is the norm.

    Anyway CBT has all but illiminated my symptons and i feel like i've lost those 5 years on my life.

    What also helps is socilising a lot more. Anyway i dont know you but with the right help you'll get bwtter.
    Go find help ASAP..
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    My mother has depression and did have PTSD. I have never been diagnosed with anything myself, and maybe I don't have anything, but I've had issues with my mental health. Since I was 14 I've had health related anxiety. It started with being worried about the possibility of having a brain tumour, but that quickly turned into worries about my heart. I check my pulse a lot, and I start to hyperventilate if I get a palpatation or a fast pulse. Thing is, I only ever seem to get palpatations when I think about my heart failing. A lot of the time I will lie in bed for hours because I worry that if I fall asleep I'll have a heart attack and die, and it's rare I'll fall asleep within two hours of going to bed, and sometimes I don't sleep until about 4. At the moment, I'm ill with flu and my heart is going at around two beats a second and it's driving me crazy, and I can't calm myself down. The scary thing is, I fear I may have given myself a heart condition (Placebo affect and all) because a lot of the time I'm convinced something is wrong with me. Sometimes I won't leave the house because I worry the exercise might send my heart into overdrive. I get anxious about other strange things too, but not to this extent.

    I have had social problems, too, and I went to counselling for it, which helped. Around this time last year I noticed I was becoming tearful and very sad at the smallest things, sometimes nothing at all. My teachers noticed and a letter was sent home. Eventually, after counselling I became better, but after getting my AS results it started up again. I still feel morose quite a lot.

    I don't really know why I typed all that out. It's pretty poorly written but I felt I needed to vent. I don't really know what to do any more, because what I've written isn't all of it.
    • #12
    #12

    (Original post by londonboi88)
    I too have OCD and lived with it for 5 years before i started to look for help.
    Long story short, i tried different CBT/antiety therapists until i found one i genuinely got on with. She charged me £60/h and had about 10 sessions of which is the norm.

    Anyway CBT has all but illiminated my symptons and i feel like i've lost those 5 years on my life.

    What also helps is socilising a lot more. Anyway i dont know you but with the right help you'll get bwtter.
    Go find help ASAP..

    (Original post by mazzie111)
    i could actually sleep forever. i get up after hours and hours, sit down and fall asleep again. i fall asleep in letures, cinemas, cars, watching tv. its actually horrible.

    sorry you feel that way xxx
    .

    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    :hugs:

    Have you ever had CBT? I'm about to start some. They're hoping it will stop me being trapped in/out of rooms, etc. Might help you feel like you're more in control

    (Original post by headphones)
    I take meds that make me drowsy and dopey also. All i want to do all day is sleep.

    (Original post by Little_My)
    I can't be the only one whose been in an adolescent unit am I?

    I can only describe mental illness as a heavy weight just following you around everywhere and it never goes away fully unless you manage to sleep.

    (Original post by doodle_333)
    I've got quite a mental health history...in the past Ive been diagnosed with quite a lot, basic gist, anxiety(been diagnosed social, general, PTSD, OCD, panic disorder, phobias at various times) since I started primary school (Im 19), depression since I started high school, since then I've cut myself, been diagnosed anorexic (restrictive type), bulimic, anorexic (purging type), had drinking problems...

    I nearly dropped out of high school when my anxiety was worst, after years of therapy I'm just about coping with university, I managed to acheive recovery before I moved for the most part, I just still struggle with my anxiety levels a lot in presantation settings and with new people, but I inform lecturers if I have to do a presantation so it doesn't affect my grades (theyre very accomodating), I sit exams in a smaller room, and I just do my best with new people...it's always gonna be an uphill battle but if you're determined you can still make your life everything you want it to be

    (Original post by Purple_Plume)
    Try and seek professional help as soon as you can. It is likely the doctor may not know what the condition is, my doctor didn't back in the day we went to see them but my mum found out and told them. I haven't been for any form of treatment though as my mum thought I was too young back then to see a psychiatrist but I think it would have helped. About 10 years on I still have the condition and am no closer to getting rid of it. Feel free to private message me, seeing as I don't know who you are. I'd be very interested to see how you get on and also answer any questions you might have. I have has hypnotherapy which I think didhelp but made me feel bad as it was so expensive To self help, get plasters and stress balls.. cover your thumbs because you need them to pull, and use a stress ball whenever you get an urge. The condition isn't one that gets easier with time though

    (Original post by fire2burn)
    I'm too bothered about them being indecisive any more, can't blame them when what they're going by isn't an exact science either so requires a bit of guess work and filling in the gaps. Or maybe I'm too forgiving

    I've had the being told to kill people thing too, was it like thoughts put into your head for you or an actual voice telling you to do it? I found it difficult to disobey it and it's always something that leaves most people rather silent when brought up in conversation! Even though you're supposed to be able to tell your doctors anything, I still find that a really difficult thing to discuss with them.

    And I agree that it really is a postcode lottery. When I was living in Hull the provision of care was awful, I was often left for weeks at a time without anyone checking up on me despite being suicidal at the time and very paranoid. When I moved back home I was seen by a specialist psychosis team within a week and have had regular care from them since.
    Sorry to quote you all, but just wondering how (if you guys suffer from intrusive thoughts) cope with them? For about 2 mnths now I've been having violent intrusive thoughts about stabbing family with a knife when I'm using one in the kitchen when chopping vegetables etc. I haven't been diagnosed with anything yet, but the doctor thinks it's anxiety and a bit of OCD. I never act on these thoughts obviously, but they are quite upsetting as you'd imagine!

    Any advice welcomed please!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sorry to quote you all, but just wondering how (if you guys suffer from intrusive thoughts) cope with them? For about 2 mnths now I've been having violent intrusive thoughts about stabbing family with a knife when I'm using one in the kitchen when chopping vegetables etc. I haven't been diagnosed with anything yet, but the doctor thinks it's anxiety and a bit of OCD. I never act on these thoughts obviously, but they are quite upsetting as you'd imagine!

    Any advice welcomed please!
    Yeah, I try not to handle sharp knives because my thoughts tend to get a bit scary when I do :console: My thoughts tend to manifest themselves as voices and it depends how overpowering these voices are. Sometimes they are just a whisper or quite quiet, in which case I just ignore them as best as I can. Other times they scream and are far too loud to ignore, in which case I have to sit it out and wait for them to shut up. If I'm in a position to figure out a trigger, e.g. being in a particular space (often for me, an academic library) sets them off, I leave if I'm "allowed" to.

    I was advised by someone at uni to create a caring/soothing voice to counter the negative ones, which works when the negative ones aren't too strong. I also have little trinkets and a book that I carry around with me, to try and calm me down in any given situation
    • #12
    #12

    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Yeah, I try not to handle sharp knives because my thoughts tend to get a bit scary when I do :console: My thoughts tend to manifest themselves as voices and it depends how overpowering these voices are. Sometimes they are just a whisper or quite quiet, in which case I just ignore them as best as I can. Other times they scream and are far too loud to ignore, in which case I have to sit it out and wait for them to shut up. If I'm in a position to figure out a trigger, e.g. being in a particular space (often for me, an academic library) sets them off, I leave if I'm "allowed" to.

    I was advised by someone at uni to create a caring/soothing voice to counter the negative ones, which works when the negative ones aren't too strong. I also have little trinkets and a book that I carry around with me, to try and calm me down in any given situation
    Thanks for taking the time to reply
    I don't get voices in my head (thank god and I hope I never get them , touch wood!) it's more just impulsive thoughts and feelings, like sometimes I will get the sudden urge to hit someone, or snog someone, or just shout something out! It used to worry me and I thought I was going mad, but the doctor said that literally every human gets there thoughts from time to time, it's just part of being human, but the difference with me is that because I've got anxiety, I think "why am i thinking these thoughts?! I must be mental, I'm not safe to be around" and consequently the thoughts gain more power, until I'm constantly ruminating over and over and it becomes a habit.
    Now I know that's its just OCD and Anxiety giving me these thoughts and impulses, I'm more relaxed when they come on, and it's easier to ignore them. I did some research, and apparently nobody has ever acted on these intrusive thoughts, which is comforting to know.

    One thing that's always puzzled me, is when people say they hear voices, is it like the sort of voice that's like your conscience, it sounds like your own voice like when you're thinking? Or is it like voices of other people you don't know? And are they voices that are so real like it's someone talking to you in real life?

    What have you been diagnosed with if you don't mind me asking? How long have you had it for, and what age did it come on? :console:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    One thing that's always puzzled me, is when people say they hear voices, is it like the sort of voice that's like your conscience, it sounds like your own voice like when you're thinking? Or is it like voices of other people you don't know? And are they voices that are so real like it's someone talking to you in real life?

    I can answer that bit for you, even though I know it's not addressed to me, but you did quote me originally so I'll reply

    The first thing you described as your 'conscience' which sounds like your own voice is called internal dialogue, it's perfectly normal to hear that and it occurs in almost everyone.

    When I hear voices it's so real it's as if someone is in the room talking to me, it doesn't sound like my own voice at all and can sound male or female, can have direction, can be quiet or loud, and can talk about various things sometimes just single words other times it's sentences. When I first started hearing it, it scared me quite a bit but now I've gotten used to it/it's controlled with medication.
    • #12
    #12

    (Original post by fire2burn)
    I can answer that bit for you, even though I know it's not addressed to me, but you did quote me originally so I'll reply

    The first thing you described as your 'conscience' which sounds like your own voice is called internal dialogue, it's perfectly normal to hear that and it occurs in almost everyone.

    When I hear voices it's so real it's as if someone is in the room talking to me, it doesn't sound like my own voice at all and can sound male or female, can have direction, can be quiet or loud, and can talk about various things sometimes just single words other times it's sentences. When I first started hearing it, it scared me quite a bit but now I've gotten used to it/it's controlled with medication.
    Cheers for replying man
    I respect you and all you guys who manage to cope with hearing these voices - it sounds so frightening, but I guess after a while you habituate to it.
    When you're on medication, do the voices completely stop? Do you experience any other sorts of hallucinations? Will you have this for life?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Cheers for replying man
    I respect you and all you guys who manage to cope with hearing these voices - it sounds so frightening, but I guess after a while you habituate to it.
    When you're on medication, do the voices completely stop? Do you experience any other sorts of hallucinations? Will you have this for life?
    For some people they stop completely thanks to medication, I know a girl who attends the same place as me and for her the antipsychotics have worked and she's really doing well towards recovering and getting everything back on track. For me though despite being on the highest dose of quetiapine I still get days where I hear them, mostly at night time when I'm trying to get to sleep. There's no background noise to distract you so you end up noticing them more.

    When I'm not on medication I get other hallucinations such as seeing ghostly shadow people following me everywhere, and other things like objects changing size/shape and moving towards me. Those sorts of things though are controlled pretty well by the medication. And so far as I'm aware I'll probably have to take the medication for life, in the past when I've stopped taking it my symptoms have come back.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sorry to quote you all, but just wondering how (if you guys suffer from intrusive thoughts) cope with them? For about 2 mnths now I've been having violent intrusive thoughts about stabbing family with a knife when I'm using one in the kitchen when chopping vegetables etc. I haven't been diagnosed with anything yet, but the doctor thinks it's anxiety and a bit of OCD. I never act on these thoughts obviously, but they are quite upsetting as you'd imagine!

    Any advice welcomed please!
    Just accept them and realise everyone has those thoughts but OCD makes them appear worse.
    Really and truly you need CBT because its difficult to explain over the internet, but to summarize you could try imagining yourself carrying out those thoughts.. Everytime you have thoses thoughts just counsciously amplfy them. ie.. intrunsive thought.. "stabbing mother" you get scared "why am i thinking about it" so instead just ampfly it and continue with stabbing mother, chopping her, eating her, etc think the worst of the worst, until you forget about the intrusive thought. Then continue whatever you're doing or start on something fun.. The point is to desenstise you from those thoughts.
    Also importantly what i've learned is i get intrusive thoughts when im really bored.
    So try to make a note of when you have those thoughts to try identify a pattern.

    My suggestion is try to get help as soon as because CBT is really helpfull on young people..
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    I've suffered from anxiety and OCD for nearly 8 years now. It used to be really bad- I hated going out anywhere because it always felt as if people were staring at me, talking about me (I'd been bullied in both primary and secondary schools, which didn't help this). I couldn't use the phone at all, and I had only three friends, who I rarely saw, and who didn't realise anything was wrong. It wasn't until Year 9 that I recovered sufficiently to be able to talk to other people, and I made a few friends, but even they didn't understand- everyone just thought I was antisocial and unfriendly.

    My parents were little help too- they just said I was "shy", that I'd grow out of it. They didn't seem to realise how genuinely terrified I was of going out, nor that it was messing up my life. They did send me to see someone about the OCD once, when I was twelve- that was because even my mum couldn't fail to notice that my hands had cracked open because of how often I washed them. But I kicked up a fuss about going, and refused to go back afterwards, so my parents just let me be. It wasn't until I was fourteen that I read an article about OCD in a magazine that made me realise what was really wrong. I somehow fought against it and it hasn't really come back since, though I've had several relapses.

    I still hated using the phone and talking to people I didn't know, something else my mum attributed to my "shyness". She arranged for me to see a hypnotherapist, who gave me a few "confidence lessons", but this didn't help much, and he said there was nothing wrong with me. I thought joining a drama group would help since a few of my friends from school went there, but all it did was make me feel even more inadequate, being surrounded by all these amazingly confident and talented people. I still stayed in the group for two years, even though most of my friends had left- I find it difficult to give up habits even if I don't enjoy them. Looking back, though, I think being forced to talk to people I didn't know did help a bit- it made starting sixth form a little less frightening.

    When I was doing my GCSEs, the anxiety got worse, and I ended up losing most of my friends because I didn't keep in touch with them, and even the ones who stayed on at sixth form didn't want anything to do with me any more. The lowest point was when I started suffering from depression in the middle of applying to university- brought on by my feelings of despair at the sheer number of applicants for the course I wanted so desperately to do. But I wasn't good enough, and I was rejected. Everyone told me not to worry, but I couldn't help it- I'd set my heart on this course, and nothing else seemed right for me. But I finally managed to get an appointment with the doctor after taking an online test and realising I had most of the symptoms of depression: I didn't enjoy anything any more, and I didn't see the point in living on...

    The doctor prescribed me antidepressants, and amazingly, they worked. I still have an obsessive personality, and there are times when I feel as if no one understands me, but I've been taking them for nearly a year now and things have definitely improved. I realised that I was being a bit stupid, and that the course I DID recieve an offer for sounded better than the one I'd wanted to do anyway- I'd just been blinded by its reputation. So I went away to university. Needless to say, I was terrified- but everyone else was too! To my great surprise, I got on really well with my flatmates, and found I had a lot in common with them. I even worked up the courage to tell them about my depression. I think I walked around in a daze for two weeks- I had friends, I had a social life, and I even signed up to volunteer abroad next year! I did have some worries- for instance, that people would think I was a freak because I haven't had a boyfriend yet- or even a first kiss! But I wasn't the only one, and people didn't think it was strange at all. I do tend to worry about things- it's the way I am. Just like the fact that I go through phases when I'm either really happy or really depressed. But I find the best thing to do is not to think of yourself as mentally ill. My gran has depression and she keeps talking about how she wishes she could get better, but she doesn't realise that she's a lot better than she was.

    I realise that this probably won't help people who suffer from more serious mental illnesses- I'd definitely recommend seeing a doctor, rather than suffering in silence like I did. I hope this shows that it IS possible to recover from depression. The best advice I can give is not to beat yourself up about it- maybe not thinking about it is the best cure!
 
 
 
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