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my gf said I should take her name if we get married watch

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    (Original post by menagerie)
    if your masculinity lies in keeping our own surname/giving yours to your wife then you have bigger problems.
    well if you had to change your first name to Dave or Geoffrey or something you'd probably feel less feminine, same reasoning applies.

    If you take your girlfriends name she is the dominant person in the relationship, which is not a nice place to be for a guy.
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    Why can't you both keep your names? I'm never going to change my name, it's a part of me. It's an outdated tradition. Not to mention the process of changing the name on your passport etc, or if you get divorced. Just a lot of trouble.
    You don't need the same surname to be happy. Though I'm not surprised at all by some of the male responses on this thread. This forum is full of misogynistic trolls and many highly immature people.
    I'm sure dear little Jimbo will be here any second.

    This shouldn't even be an issue. Neither has any right to expect the other part to change their name. But if you can compromise, that's great.
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    why doesn't she just keep her name?
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    why don't you both keep your surname

    it makes sense if you both want to keep it
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    That's certainly unorthodox but it's been done before! If you're not okay with it then don't, just like no women should feel obliged to take the man's name.

    Why don't you both keep your own names and then have a double (hyphenated) surname for your kids?
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    (Original post by Drumzilla)
    well if you had to change your first name to Dave or Geoffrey or something you'd probably feel less feminine, same reasoning applies.

    If you take your girlfriends name she is the dominant person in the relationship, which is not a nice place to be for a guy.
    No it doesn't. Changing from Jones to Smith is very different than changing from John to Sandra. I'm not advocating either option, but I don't think your comparison is reasonable.

    I don't see how either the man or woman has a 'dominant' role, whatever that means. Each person has different strengths and weaknesses and brings different things to the relationship.

    I don't think there should be an expectation for either partner to take the other's name in marriage.
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    (Original post by DOA)
    I was speaking about my double surname thread with her and she said she wanted her name to carry on. She said her surname in her branch of the family was going to die out because she only has sisters so she suggested maybe I should take her name. I dont want to take her name because im the only male in my family so my family name would be in as much trouble as hers is now if I dont pass it on. Im thinking of suggesting that the reason the mans name was passed on was because men were the head of the house in those days so im suggesting that who ever earns the least money at that point should take the others last name. I would also say that if we both agree to the least money system then the person on the bad end of that cant argue with it at the time.

    I am right not to agree to do this because my name would be as bad as hers if I did it?
    What do you think of the person who earns the least changes idea?
    Errr how old are you?
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    If your gf wants her surname to hang there...why dont you try this ..

    ( Gf name ) ( Her surname ) (Your surname )

    You dont need to change your surname .. that is off-tradition..but you could try changing your name for a difference.
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    She would have to be ****ing amazing in bed for me to take her surname.
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    tell her to **** off. im sure she probs has a male cousin with her surname to carry on the family surname so her excuse is rubbish.
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    (Original post by ninsy)
    keep your own names, give the kid both surnames
    We hate the double surnames so thats off the table
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    (Original post by Spexzzz)
    Wait shes 1 of several girls and your 1 of 1 male, i think 1 of her other sisters can take on the responsibility of keeping their surname. Understandably if she was a only child then theirs a real dilemma.

    That doesnt seem fair if your the only one that can pass your surname down, and she 2/3/ + sisters theirs more chance that they would take the name, shouldnt it be the last person in the family to get married takes the surname with them if their female.

    Who knows 1 of her sisters may be a right minger and can keep her name :P
    My main arguement is the fact im the only male so am the only one who can pass it on and my name would be as much trouble as hers is now
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    (Original post by Luceria)
    Why can't you both keep your names? I don't see the big deal here , this isn't 1845. Only a very immature and ignorant person would freak out over a surname.
    I'm never going to change my name, it's a part of me. It's an outdated tradition, and it doesn't make any sense to do it anymore. Unless you hate your surname. Not to mention the process of changing the name on your passport etc, or
    if you get divorced.

    You don't need the same surname to be happy. Though I'm not surprised at all by some of the male responses on this thread. This forum is full of misogynistic trolls and many highly immature people. Who continue to spew out the same old material.
    I'm sure dear little Jimbo will be here any second.

    This shouldn't even be an issue. Neither has any right to expect the other part to change their name.
    Its not our names that are problem, its that we hate double name so the children have to have one of our names to pass it on and both our names cant get passed unless one of us passes it



    (Original post by Rooster523)
    why doesn't she just keep her name?

    (Original post by Dan3va)
    why don't you both keep your surname

    it makes sense if you both want to keep it

    (Original post by Coco-Berry Drop)
    That's certainly unorthodox but it's been done before! If you're not okay with it then don't, just like no women should feel obliged to take the man's name.

    Why don't you both keep your own names and then have a double (hyphenated) surname for your kids?
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    I don't think she's out of line. I want to keep my surmane when I'm married. Basically my name dies out with me, my dad was an only child and well...there's me ^^ My surname means a lot to me, it's my heritage and it shows my ancestery, it has it's own history coming from Italy and further back Austria, I love it
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    Who wears the trousers in your relationship, you or her?
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    (Original post by DOA)
    Its not our names that are problem, its that we hate double name so the children have to have one of our names to pass it on and both our names cant get passed unless one of us passes it
    I believe the term is 'tough crap'

    a man taking a woman's name on marriage is utterly ridiculous
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    (Original post by Insiya)
    If your gf wants her surname to hang there...why dont you try this ..

    ( Gf name ) ( Her surname ) (Your surname )

    You dont need to change your surname .. that is off-tradition..but you could try changing your name for a difference.
    Its the fact we both was to pass our names on and hate double names. If i dont pass mine on, my family names in worse trouble than hers is now because she has male cousins but i dont
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    (Original post by Rooster523)
    I believe the term is 'tough crap'

    a man taking a woman's name on marriage is utterly ridiculous
    Why are some so overly aggressive about this? Assuming anyone would change their name is silly. But if they want to, I don't see the problem.
    .........
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    (Original post by Moscardini)
    I don't think she's out of line. I want to keep my surmane when I'm married. Basically my name dies out with me, my dad was an only child and well...there's me ^^ My surname means a lot to me, it's my heritage and it shows my ancestery, it has it's own history coming from Italy and further back Austria, I love it
    I only have sisters and so does she so if i dont pass my name on then my names is in as much trouble as her name is now
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    (Original post by DOA)
    Its the fact we both was to pass our names on and hate double names. If i dont pass mine on, my family names in worse trouble than hers is now because she has male cousins but i dont
    Surely that's a fairly good reason that your name should be the one you pass on?

    I don't see how she could argue against that.
 
 
 
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