Would it bother you if a potential guy you may be seeing still lives at home Watch

Smack
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#81
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#81
(Original post by tweety_2479)
I really do not understand why you are making this a gender thing I really do not get it !!!

Please please explain to me why you think a female in her early 20's would be more ABLE to afford a place than a male. I don't get what this has to do with gender surely it's just down to the individual themselves ffs
Where have I said I think that a female in her early twenties would be better able to afford a home than a male?
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tweety_2479
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#82
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#82
(Original post by Popppppy)
I agree with you OP.
It would be so weird to have to hang out in his room with his parents downstairs in the living room, like being back in high school!

Even if I don't get a graduate job straight out of uni I wouldn't move home.

I've worked out that to pay my current rent and bills, I'd have to work 12 hours a week earning minimum wage. I could easily get more than those hours at my current part time job, so I would have no need to move home.

I guess some people don't mind living at home, but I much prefer the independence of not living with my parents and obviously would like a guy who feels the same way.
Thankyou! finally

Maybe it's the way I phrase things that get people so riled up but I'm now realising that if I feel a certain way about things I shouldn't feel the need to ask people if how feel is right.

This post has just confirmed that I would find it a problem I'll get to know this guy more and what his intentions are but if he doesn't come across as independent as me then i'm just going to f it off because I dont think it would work.
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jblackmoustache
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#83
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#83
(Original post by InnerTemple)
Staying at home until you are financially stable enough to move out is just savy. Also, living at home does not equal lack of independence. Just because someone sleeps under the same roof as their parents does not reflect on their ability to live independently etc.
If you live in a crap area (for example somewhere in the North East) you sometimes haven't got a choice but to move out. Some areas simply stay poor and have no opportunity in them whatsoever. I'm glad I moved out my area at 19. Never looked back. I'm 25 now.

To go back to my mothers would be a huge huge career downgrade


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Miss Jean Brodie
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#84
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#84
(Original post by tweety_2479)
I really do not understand why you are making this a gender thing I really do not get it !!!
The poster didn't make it a gender thing. You're choosing to misread it.

I don't know why you've made it a thing at all. You've managed to live on your own, well done you. Why do you need to judge that 'fit' guy based on your own finances? To be honest, if it bothers you I think he's better off staying away.
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username306617
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#85
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#85
(Original post by WelshBluebird)
So £225 a month. Assuming you manage to keep your current flatmate / find a new one. Is that including bills or not? What about food? What about actually doing something with your life other than your 12 hours a week of work? What about unexpected costs? The fact you have not taken any of this into account really does say a lot. If it was so easy to live on £300 a month, then people would actually do it.
Edit sorry misread your post.

Bills are about £30 each for electricity, £10 each for internet and £37.50 each for the factors fee (as mentioned before).
I have a lot of savings which can cover unexpected costs.

I am not currently living on £300 a month, and I never said I was, I said that I would need to earn £300 to cover my rent and bills and obviously more for food etc.

I very much hope I will get a job upon graduation, my course currently has a 90% employment rate according to unistats and I am on first name terms with the head of graduate recruitment at the company I want to work for, and have already done some work for them.
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A Mysterious Lord
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#86
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#86
I'm 23 and still at home, after getting a decent job it was either move out or buy a car, I did the latter.

After I've sorted myself out financially I'll think about moving out but given most of my mates my age still live at home it's just not that high a priority.
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WelshBluebird
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#87
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#87
(Original post by Popppppy)
No I'm a student. An Engineering Student. I only work 7.5 hours a week atm, I work more in summer. I do ambassador work for my uni as and when it is needed also.

Bills are about £30 each for electricity, £10 each for internet and £37.50 each for the factors fee (as mentioned before).
I have a lot of savings which can cover unexpected costs.

I am not currently living on £300 a month, and I never said I was, I said that I would need to earn £300 to cover my rent and bills and obviously more for food etc.
So £300 just for rent and bills. Ignoring everything else. As I said then. So maybe you can now appreciate why people do move back home? Because life is expensive. As I have said, many people, even graduates, are lucky to have part time work, if a job at all. If you have the option of living at home while you try to find a full time job, then choosing to not do that is simply financial stupidity really. As I said why struggle by on £300 a month (which remember, for many people is simply impossible anyway), when you can just live at home for a short period?
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WelshBluebird
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#88
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#88
(Original post by Popppppy)
I'm not judging anyone! I never said there was anything wrong with someone who lives with their parents, my sister moved back home after uni, my brother didn't.
I'm just saying I wouldn't want to date someone who lives at home!
So yes, you are judging people.
I don't see why you wouldn't want to date someone for being financially sensible.
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katyness
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#89
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#89
(Original post by tweety_2479)
Why would it be any different from a male to move out in comparison to a female ??
I like you I am very independent myself and I am also very picky and shallow when it comes to finding the opposite sex attractive so I completely get you. Yes, it would bother me. Not because of his age but I look for a relationship that could stand on its own and last. These situations don't seem stable to me. Whenever you want to spend the night together it has to be on you because if you go over you'll have to be careful with the noise and you won't be as comfortable as well... there are many downs about this.

Then again, if he's fit as you claim, you might want to give it a period of time until you start seeing some change otherwise ditch!
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tweety_2479
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#90
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#90
(Original post by Climbontoyourseahorse)
Look, in terms of financial independence, living with your parents is no worse than getting money from the government to live away from home as a student. Do students receive as much criticism as graduates living at home? No.

You might be complaining here that he lacks life experience, but what if he turned around and told you he was completely turned off by the fact that you have never had a serious relationship? Obviously there is nothing wrong with having not experienced that yet, but if you're going to nitpick about him... If you view him living at home as indicative of a weakness in personality, he might take a similar view with your lack of relationships.

Another thing... if as a 24 year old woman you're looking for a mature man with life experience, why are you bothering with a 22 year old? What do you expect? What were you doing at 22? I'm sure you were probably not as accomplished back then as you are now.
I see your point and I just found out his age, I actually thought he was older than me ...I did mention that I do have a habit of nit picking that why I made this post to ask whether I was or whether my opinion was vlid and most people thought alike.
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Miss Jean Brodie
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#91
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#91
(Original post by katyness)
Yes, it would bother me. Not because of his age but I look for a relationship that could stand on its own and last. These situations don't seem stable to me.
Which part of living within your means makes a situation unstable? Just because you can't afford to move out doesn't mean that you're incapable of a normal adult relationship with a normal adult who doesn't judge you for being prudent at 22.
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tweety_2479
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#92
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#92
(Original post by Guy Secretan)
Why don't you have a family though?
don't get on with family, none of us speak to each other. This has been for over 2 years now. Dad died yah yah yah

I'm on my own ....

Only person talking sense on here is Poppy !
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MarinaAlex
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#93
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#93
Wouldn't bother me in the slightest!

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WelshBluebird
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#94
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#94
(Original post by tweety_2479)
Only person talking sense on here is Poppy !
Errr, disagreeing with you does not mean the other people are not talking sense. Infact I think it is quite telling how many people do disagree with you.
I fail to see how being financially sensible is a bad thing.
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tweety_2479
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#95
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#95
(Original post by Smack)
Where have I said I think that a female in her early twenties would be better able to afford a home than a male?
You said a male in their early 20's will find it more hard to a afford a place to live ??? WHY
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katyness
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#96
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#96
(Original post by Miss Jean Brodie)
Which part of living within your means makes a situation unstable? Just because you can't afford to move out doesn't mean that you're incapable of a normal adult relationship with a normal adult who doesn't judge you for being prudent at 22.
Because it doesn't seem like it could be a long-term thing now. It could eventually turn into one but not now...
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Smack
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#97
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#97
(Original post by tweety_2479)
You said a male in their early 20's will find it more hard to a afford a place to live ??? WHY
Quote the post where I said that.
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tweety_2479
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#98
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#98
(Original post by katyness)
I like you I am very independent myself and I am also very picky and shallow when it comes to finding the opposite sex attractive so I completely get you. Yes, it would bother me. Not because of his age but I look for a relationship that could stand on its own and last. These situations don't seem stable to me. Whenever you want to spend the night together it has to be on you because if you go over you'll have to be careful with the noise and you won't be as comfortable as well... there are many downs about this.

Then again, if he's fit as you claim, you might want to give it a period of time until you start seeing some change otherwise ditch!
Good to know there's other people out there that think alike !!
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Miss Jean Brodie
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#99
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#99
(Original post by katyness)
Because it doesn't seem like it could be a long-term thing now. It could eventually turn into one but not now...
All I can say is that I hope your heart rules your head if you find yourself in a situation like this, because of all the reasons to not enter into a relationship with someone this is definitely one of the more ridiculous.
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tweety_2479
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#100
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#100
(Original post by smack)
no, it's about money (you'll find that the vast majority of people don't have parents who own flats that they can move into). the vast majority of early 20s males simply cannot afford their own flat or house.
this one ^^
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