Paying for sex... (help) Watch

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inmyhead
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#81
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#81
(Original post by opal1)
Why don't you try to meet new people ? There are plenty of ways socialising not just dating sites ?
I'd love to meet new people. I had opportunities when I was in University, but now that I've finished they have all evaporated.

I had a wonderful time at University and met some cool people, but never really thought about making lasting friendships (this is a long story).

Consequently I am now alone and don't really have any opportunities to meet new people.
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Rascacielos
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#82
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#82
(Original post by inmyhead)
With only one girl.

Tell me why you think it is fair that, at 23, I should only have slept with one girl before making a commitment, while most boys my age will have slept with maybe 4-5 or more different girls?

It is natural male instinct to spread his 'seed' far and wide, not to put all his 'eggs' in one basket, so to speak. I am not above that.
I don't see how 'fairness' plays a role in anything. It's unlikely you will settle down and marry the first girlfriend you have; chances are you'll have 4, 5, 6 or more partners before you do eventually settle down anyway.


I'm not criticising you for wanting to sleep around - that's your choice, as I've said. I just find your logic difficult to grasp, given the nature of this thread.
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Clip
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#83
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#83
(Original post by Rascacielos)
I don't see how 'fairness' plays a role in anything. It's unlikely you will settle down and marry the first girlfriend you have; chances are you'll have 4, 5, 6 or more partners before you do eventually settle down anyway.


I'm not criticising you for wanting to sleep around - that's your choice, as I've said. I just find your logic difficult to grasp, given the nature of this thread.
I tend to disagree with Rascacielos on just about everything - but in this case I think she's got it in one.

This sounds like OP is having a seven-year itch, eight years early.

Personally, I'm having difficulty identifying exactly what the issue is. One thing (being a virgin and considering paying for sex) does not seem to be related to the others (number of partners prior to marriage). What exactly is the problem here? If OP wants to have 4-5 sexual relationships before settling down .... then why not do just that?

The only thing I can think of is that OP is afraid that in the absence of any sexual relationships thus far (24 years was it?), then he cannot see any way into reaching this magic number.

What I would say is that having sex with 5 prostitutes is kind of doing a Lance Armstrong. If the OP's goal is to live happily ever after with some similarly dweeby girl then I can see nothing but problems and disappointment in the future.
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spun29
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#84
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#84
(Original post by Daniel George)
I would never pay for sex, I would rather wait for that special lady
So you wanna die virgin? :yikes:
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stuart_aitken
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#85
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#85
I've had sex with about 6 girls in my life, or maybe 5. I already feel like that's too many. If/when I meet the girl of my dreams, I'll be ashamed of the fact that I didn't save myself for her.
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Yidette
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#86
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#86
(Original post by stuart_aitken)
I've had sex with about 6 girls in my life, or maybe 5. I already feel like that's too many. If/when I meet the girl of my dreams, I'll be ashamed of the fact that I didn't save myself for her.
Will you chop off your balls and hand them to her on a platter, too?

How can you feel guilty about not 'saving yourself' for someone you haven't even met? Well, it's your life.

OP, no need to pay so much; just go to a sleazy bar - or, really, any bar - at peak time on a Saturday night and you'll probably find someone who's willing to go home with you, which is actually all natural and fine and above board so long as you use protection etc.
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inmyhead
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#87
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#87
(Original post by Yidette)
OP, no need to pay so much; just go to a sleazy bar - or, really, any bar - at peak time on a Saturday night and you'll probably find someone who's willing to go home with you, which is actually all natural and fine and above board so long as you use protection etc.
I'm not capable of this, that is the reason why I'm going to have to pay for it.

I've tried, but I just don't have the confidence / social skills to pull it off. Even when a girl might be interested I can never pick up on it.
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PotPon
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#88
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#88
Yo yo, seriously, if anybody is in the Sheffield / Rotherham area and wants to blow 80 on an amazing night, i can introduce you to a women named Tia who'll take you to another level.
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Yidette
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#89
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#89
(Original post by inmyhead)
I'm not capable of this, that is the reason why I'm going to have to pay for it.

I've tried, but I just don't have the confidence / social skills to pull it off. Even when a girl might be interested I can never pick up on it.
To put a milder tone on what someone else said... paying for sex isn't going to change that.

Well, it might.

But it's unlikely.

Depends on what your attitudes towards women and sex are.
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stuart_aitken
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#90
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#90
(Original post by Yidette)
Will you chop off your balls and hand them to her on a platter, too?

How can you feel guilty about not 'saving yourself' for someone you haven't even met? Well, it's your life.

.
Hah, yeah, fair point actually. I do get where the OP is come from though. I don't know at all I how I've ever managed to get myself laid, or had the girlfriends I've had. In my head I'm a gigantic loser. Maybe I'm just magnetically handsome :confused: No really, according to British societal norms, I am a huge loser.
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the green man
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#91
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#91
Whatever, novel by Michel Houellebecq and the movie by the same novel - Extension du domaine de la lutte by Philippe Harel , I would recommend it to everyone interested in this thread. Contains some great dialogues between 40yo depressive programmer and his 28 yo virgin colleague
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Wild_Precious_Life
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#92
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#92
To lose your virginity you can either

q) Do it with a friend whom cares
b) Get into a relationship
c) Have a one night stand
d) Prostitute/escort

Sorry, I have nothing else to add, just wanted to clarify it in my mind. Feel free to add more options.
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Quady
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#93
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#93
(Original post by Blair Waldorf)
There's nothing sad about it, each to their own - no judgement.
But there is though isn't there (otherwise the guy wouldn't be asking)
'sad' is not a concept if its 'each to their own - no judgement', but thats not the real world.

To the OP - I wouldn't pay for it, not on any moral grounds but I think you've bigged it up to be disappointing. You'll be rubbish and awkard and you'll know it and feel like a failure. Then again, getting that out of the way in a transaction would be less embarrassing than someone you care about.

So it comes down to what is your motive?

If you want to have fun, get better porn, its free and will probably be hotter

If its to lose the label, then go with the hoe

If its to be better with women then go to a cooking class

If you don't want to be lonely then I have no solutions my friend, better stay in TSR...
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the green man
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#94
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#94
(Original post by inmyhead)
I'm not capable of this, that is the reason why I'm going to have to pay for it.

I've tried, but I just don't have the confidence / social skills to pull it off. Even when a girl might be interested I can never pick up on it.
I don't want to be rude, but have you considered talking to an expert..a psychologist or a priest?
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Rascacielos
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#95
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#95
(Original post by Clip)

The only thing I can think of is that OP is afraid that in the absence of any sexual relationships thus far (24 years was it?), then he cannot see any way into reaching this magic number.
This is exactly what I have been thinking.

My, we have agreed on something!
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Clip
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#96
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#96
(Original post by the green man)
I don't want to be rude, but have you considered talking to an expert..a psychologist or a priest?
Were I looking for help finding a girl with whom to engage in fornication, I don't think the local vicar, Catholic Priest, Rabbi or Imam would be my first ports of call.
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inmyhead
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#97
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#97
Just thinking, if I do go ahead with it, should I tell her that I'm not very experienced, or keep it to myself?

I can probably fake confidence quite well if I have a drink or two before I go.
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the green man
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#98
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#98
(Original post by Clip)
Were I looking for help finding a girl with whom to engage in fornication, I don't think the local vicar, Catholic Priest, Rabbi or Imam would be my first ports of call.
I know, but just because you ask them for an advice, this doesn't mean you have to accept it.
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the green man
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#99
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#99
(Original post by inmyhead)
Just thinking, if I do go ahead with it, should I tell her that I'm not very experienced, or keep it to myself?

I can probably fake confidence quite well if I have a drink or two before I go.

She'll probably see how (in)experienced you are. So I wouldn't bring it out, unless she asks directly. We don't need self-fulfilling prophecies. I know quite a few people that had the erection problem when they were doing it for the first time because of all the stress. Good luck!
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Anonymous #2
#100
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#100
Go for it definitely. Some escorts are really lovely people and good at dealing with first timers and the nervous. You might well have a better experience than fumbling around with someone you know!
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