Girls - your first time?

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Reply 80

Bullet Knuckle

Original post by x-Sophie-x

People like you are certainly rare.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Not sure if l should take this as a compliment or maybe this is just a nice way to call me gay ... :/

Reply 81

truthandtragedy

Original post by Kink

I don't remember. Is that bad?

I mean, I remember the circumstances, I remember the 10 minutes leading up to, the minute I decided to because fortunately I was stone cold sober but not actually how it was...

Obviously it wasn't excruciating, else I would remember that. I think I just remember the ache that I had the day afterwards.

I rather think that because I've never thought losing your virginity is particularly special moment, that the build up I had to it was small. I wasn't that nervous. To me, having sex the first time, is just another first or any number of firsts you have in a lifetime. If you expect it to be absolutely thrilling, or absolutely awful, you're wrong - its definitely not going to be either of those.

Exactly this. It wasn't a stand-out moment in my life!

Reply 82

Anonymous #25

I'm a virgin, female, and really looking forward to it,...can't wait

Reply 83

x-Sophie-x

Original post by Bullet Knuckle

Not sure if l should take this as a compliment or maybe this is just a nice way to call me gay ... :/

Haha, no it was a compliment :smile:

Reply 84

Ribbits

Original post by Anonymous

I'm a virgin, female, and really looking forward to it,...can't wait

I don't know if this was sarcasm, but if it was:

I am also a virgin female and I genuinely am really looking forward to it!
The thing is I was very unusually slow to develop sexually, I didn't get my period until I was almost 16 and didn't start having sexual feelings of any kind until I was 19. I never thought about it or questioned it really, I just wasn't a part of the sexual world like a child (although I was still mature in other ways, so more like an asexual). Once I did start to grow into it, I let it happen at a completely natural pace - which for me was obviously slow. I never watched porn, or read things about it (although of course everyone is aware of sex regardless: in films, TV etc.)

So everything that has happened between my fiance and I up until this point has been entirely comfortable, natural and amazing. I think I'm getting close to ready (I'm 21, yeah I know - damn I'm slow right?). It won't be something I plan or say 'okay, now' to, it will be something that just happens. I'm insanely in love with him, my drive is through the roof, we been having growingly intense fun every time we're together for 2 years... When it happens, wow... Any minor initial discomfort will be immediately eclipsed I imagine, but we'll see.

My point is, even though clearly I'm not normal, I still think that if you're in a loving relationship or fully comfortable with a person and truly ready internally then hopefully your fear will melt away: replaced with animal desire.
Then even if it is uncomfortable, you will be enjoying the intimacy and have no regrets or negative feelings about it.

Reply 85

Anonymous #9

Original post by Ribbits

Just want to say I was 21 when I lost my virginity and am soo glad I waited. The only other opportunities I had previously would have been one night stands/casual sex with guys I didn't have any genuine feelings for and that was never what I wanted. I was so glad I waited and had no regrets and I'm sure it'll be the same for you. I had no pain or discomfort or bleeding whatsoever although I know that may not just be due to the fact I waited and felt comfortable and could be a lot to do with luck, I don't know.

Reply 86

Anonymous #1

I watched this video recently and this girl was saying how girls only bleed if they're nervous, cos their muscles tense up etc. Do you guys think this is true? If you were relaxed, did you bleed? And vice versa.

Reply 87

her17

I was really chilled out (probably because I was pretty tipsy), and didn't.

Original post by Anonymous

Reply 88

Anonymous #1

Original post by her17

I was really chilled out (probably because I was pretty tipsy), and didn't.

Ok cool, so did it hurt at all? And had you done stuff before? Like fingering etc.? And did you wear tampons before? Cos I've heard all that can make a difference as well.

Reply 89

her17

Original post by Anonymous

Ok cool, so did it hurt at all? And had you done stuff before? Like fingering etc.? And did you wear tampons before? Cos I've heard all that can make a difference as well.

Nah i didn't feel any pain at the time, just a bit...uncomfortable. And yes to both of those.

Reply 90

when she was 22

I don't remember the whole thing too well (despite being sober, it was a few years ago now though). It was just painful, uncomfortable, awkward and a bit weird.

Reply 91

annarchy.

First time was awkward and painful but we were both virgins so we kind of laughed it off afterwards but as we got more into it things settled down and it felt more natural and nice :smile:

girls can bleed on their first time but its not a sea of blood or anything dw :P I think people don't know what to expect on their first time making them tense and thus making it uncomfortable, but the key is to just relax and enjoy yourself :smile:

Reply 92

ironandwine

Slightly awkward, slightly painful. It's different for everyone to be quite honest.

Reply 93

Anonymous #26

I lost it to a ONS with an old friend at 18 it was actually something i didn't regret - yes it was slightly awkward and slightly painful but you want your partner to be understanding and realise that it happens and put your needs above his - and i was lucky to have found that guy and i hope you do too!

Reply 94

Anonymous #27

It really hurt. I don't think he even got all of the way in, because it hurt so much I told him to stop. I think it was because we were both virgins and didn't really know what we were doing, and I know I wasn't completely relaxed, but I was so scared about doing it, and he'd asked a few times before and I'd said "not yet", that I thought 'best to get this over with' which was probably not great - I knew I wanted to have sex with him, I was just really worried about it hurting and it did. It took a bit of time before it stopped being really painful, but after that it got better every time we did it as we were both much more relaxed about it and had more of an idea about what to do. I'm lucky that although it did frustrate my boyfriend a bit, he loved and cared about me too much to not get really annoyed with me and kept reassuring me that it didn't matter, that we'd work things out eventually and that he still loved me regardless, and as we're still together nearly 18 months on and still very much in love, I'm very glad he was the first person I had sex with.

Your first time definitely won't be the best, so don't worry if you don't enjoy it, or it's awful, because it will get better. Not everyone has an experience like mine though - it's probably unusual for it to hurt that much!

Reply 95

Classical Liberal

Tip. Be a bit drunk. And turned on. Not "relaxed". If you are "relaxed" you are not in the mood for sex. Your pussy won't be wet and responsive to something going in it.

Reply 96

username418231

Original post by Mel1215

Amazingly awkward yet so painful that I had tears streaming down my face and actually had to stop myself from crying aloud. For some reason despite the pain I enjoyed it, I think I enjoyed the intimacy. I had the ache for days though, that was worse than the initial penetration.

Oh no

I'm a virgin and that sounds so scary. I know that sounds silly but it does.

Reply 97

username418231

Original post by McUsername

It hurt loads, sort of like someone pinged an elastic band reaaally hard against me. Luckily the guy I was with (now ex but still a good friend) was brilliant, his first priority above everything else was making sure I was ok. Which is why I agree, it's really important that it's with someone you trust & feel really comfortable with :smile:

Yikes!

Reply 98

Anonymous #28

I have a question: do you bleed during or after :confused:

Please dont take the piss i dont actually know

Reply 99

username418231

Original post by concubine

I have ex's that have found it painful and others that felt no pain at all.

Seems pointless asking, when everyone must know that this is the case. If you want to lose your virginity then go do it and accept that it may be uncomfortable. It's unlikely that it's going to be excruciating.

People need to take virginity off of this ridiculous pedestal and get over the borderline misogynistic idea that it's best to wait and lose it to someone really special, as if guys have some kind of ownership of it.

If you're ready to have sex and there's someone you're comfortable doing it with then just do it.

ITA.

I am waiting till I'm in a relationship.

I also hate how certain cultures put such emphasis on virginity like it completely defines a woman or something that belongs to a man - I guess it all comes down to the objectification of women.