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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, he's still with her. I can't see anything changing right now because of the distance but I'll be studying down south this year. He's told me that things might be different when I move.
    I can't believe you're so stupid as to want things to change. Just let it go.


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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If that were the case, he wouldn't be calling me twice a day and wanting to see me again in a few weeks.

    Either way you're attempting to be a home wrecker. Surely you have the common sense to walk away?

    He has a girlfriend and a child, you have no place trying to get involved.

    If you have any dignity, self respect and morals you would cut contact.
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    (Original post by Alter-ego)
    24 seducing a 14 year old...doesn't that kinda make him a pedophile? :confused:
    Paedophilia is defined as sexual attraction towards pre-pubescent children. Whilst still illegal, attraction toward a 14 year old is almost certainly not paedophilia.
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    (Original post by LexiswasmyNexis)
    I can't believe you're so stupid as to want things to change. Just let it go.


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    (Original post by Vikki1805)
    Either way you're attempting to be a home wrecker. Surely you have the common sense to walk away?

    He has a girlfriend and a child, you have no place trying to get involved.

    If you have any dignity, self respect and morals you would cut contact.
    Like I've said previously, it's all well and good to say that when you're not in the situation yourself. If it were as easy as that, I wouldn't be posting here. It's difficult when you have feelings involved.

    I have said that I need to have a proper chat with them and establish what he wants, I'm not prepared to be a temporary bit on the side until he gets bored, but at the same time I don't want to completely cut contact with him straight away and think 'what if' for the rest of my life.
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    I was going to comment but everything I want to say has already been said. You Vitamin D craving ***

    The one person I feel sorry for is the kid
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Like I've said previously, it's all well and good to say that when you're not in the situation yourself. If it were as easy as that, I wouldn't be posting here. It's difficult when you have feelings involved.

    I have said that I need to have a proper chat with them and establish what he wants, I'm not prepared to be a temporary bit on the side until he gets bored, but at the same time I don't want to completely cut contact with him straight away and think 'what if' for the rest of my life.
    I really tried to be nice earlier, especially after there were quite a lot of harsh comments towards you. But I'm going to be blunt now.

    If you choose to continue with this guy, that's a completely moronic and idiotic decision.

    There are literally millions of eligible, smart, good looking guys who aren't cheaters, don't have another family, and haven't shown a tendency to seduce underaged children.

    Seriously. A decision to continue with this guy is nothing short of downright stupid, whether or not your "emotions" tell you to. You CAN do it, you simply don't want to.

    Trying to make excuses otherwise is simply ridiculous.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Like I've said previously, it's all well and good to say that when you're not in the situation yourself. If it were as easy as that, I wouldn't be posting here. It's difficult when you have feelings involved.

    I have said that I need to have a proper chat with them and establish what he wants, I'm not prepared to be a temporary bit on the side until he gets bored, but at the same time I don't want to completely cut contact with him straight away and think 'what if' for the rest of my life.
    Yeah, what a shame it would be if you didn't end up with the cheating single father who, aged 24, tried to seduce a child who hadn't even picked their GCSE's yet, let alone been capable of having an adult relationship. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Like I've said previously, it's all well and good to say that when you're not in the situation yourself. If it were as easy as that, I wouldn't be posting here. It's difficult when you have feelings involved.

    I have said that I need to have a proper chat with them and establish what he wants, I'm not prepared to be a temporary bit on the side until he gets bored, but at the same time I don't want to completely cut contact with him straight away and think 'what if' for the rest of my life.
    It isn't different. That's an excuse you use for your misdirected moral compass.

    You're either a home-wrecker or he's using you. I've patiently watched you skirt around all the grey since my initial comment, bit I feel now it needs to be said.


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    I dont understand why you're going down South when you live in Scotland. If it's for him - then don't go. It is a waste of your time and money. You'll only end up getting hurt. If he is still with her now, nothing will change when you move down there. You're being a home wrecker.
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    (Original post by Knalchemist)
    I dont understand why you're going down South when you live in Scotland. If it's for him - then don't go. It is a waste of your time and money. You'll only end up getting hurt. If he is still with her now, nothing will change when you move down there. You're being a home wrecker.
    It's not for him, I'd decided to move way before I'd even got back in touch with him.
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    I'm going to try my best to not insult you so bear with me.

    I know you said that leaving him is not an option but you need to realise that it IS. It will be hard but think about the pain and guilt you're going through now and imagine how much worse these feelings will become if you do stay. You made the choice to be in this situation and you need to make the choice to remove yourself from there.

    You made the mistake of kissing and sleeping with him but that's in the past. You need to think about the present and the future. Stop yourself making another mistake and leave him.

    I know the girlfriend said she doesn't know why she's with him but you need to realise that what people say is not necessarily how they feel.

    Finally, stop this all for yourself. He's asked you to only contact him at certain times? It sounds like he's trying his best to make his girlfriend think that everything is normal. He isn't treating her right and he isn't treating you right.

    Like I said you have the choice to change how things are. CHANGE because you will love yourself much more for it. It'll be hard and tough but you'll have the support of others (you definitely can message me any time).

    Best of luck. Whatever you do at the end of the day I hope it turns out well! x
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    I'm bored of this thread now.

    You clearly didn't want 'advice' from anyone, more that you wanted for someone to come and tell you it's all OK and what you're doing isn't wrong.

    Well it is wrong. He has a girlfriend, he is in a relationship. If, by some miracle, he did leave her (which he won't) he'd only cheat on you, like he has on her. Forget him.

    You said 'leaving him isn't an option' there is nothing to leave! You don't even know him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Like I've said previously, it's all well and good to say that when you're not in the situation yourself. If it were as easy as that, I wouldn't be posting here. It's difficult when you have feelings involved.

    I have said that I need to have a proper chat with them and establish what he wants, I'm not prepared to be a temporary bit on the side until he gets bored, but at the same time I don't want to completely cut contact with him straight away and think 'what if' for the rest of my life.
    You're right, I'm not in that situation because I wouldn't let myself be. I would not allow myself to get to a stage where I find myself that attached to someone who is already in a relationship and who has a family.
    If I ever started to get the slightest of feelings for someone in a scenario like that, I would put my feelings aside, give myself a swift slap round the face and realise that in reality it could never, ever work.

    Get a grip, he's not going to leave his family (which is what he has) for you, essentially a kid.

    Nobody here is going to have any sympathy for you, because what you are doing is wrong. Whether you are blind sighted by your feelings or not, he is taken. He has a girlfriend and a child, which over rides any emotions and feelings you have towards him.

    I doubt you've considered how his family would feel if he did (although he won't) leave them for you? Would you stop to think about how his girlfriend and his child feel? The fact you've helped rip apart a family?

    You are unbelievably selfish.
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    So a 24 year old pretended to be 17 to chat up a 15 year old, while having a pregnant girlfriend. Sounds like a keeper to me...
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    (Original post by blue.racoon59)
    I'm going to try my best to not insult you so bear with me.

    I know you said that leaving him is not an option but you need to realise that it IS. It will be hard but think about the pain and guilt you're going through now and imagine how much worse these feelings will become if you do stay. You made the choice to be in this situation and you need to make the choice to remove yourself from there.

    You made the mistake of kissing and sleeping with him but that's in the past. You need to think about the present and the future. Stop yourself making another mistake and leave him.

    I know the girlfriend said she doesn't know why she's with him but you need to realise that what people say is not necessarily how they feel.

    Finally, stop this all for yourself. He's asked you to only contact him at certain times? It sounds like he's trying his best to make his girlfriend think that everything is normal. He isn't treating her right and he isn't treating you right.

    Like I said you have the choice to change how things are. CHANGE because you will love yourself much more for it. It'll be hard and tough but you'll have the support of others (you definitely can message me any time).

    Best of luck. Whatever you do at the end of the day I hope it turns out well! x
    Thank you. I think I'm finding it more difficult than I should be right now because it's all still very fresh and recent, but I think the longer I go without seeing him, the easier it'll be to end it. My judgment is still clouded but I think once I'm able to clear my head a bit, what you and everyone else has said will sink in if that makes sense. Just up to me to come to my senses, really! x
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    (Original post by Knalchemist)
    I'm bored of this thread now.

    You clearly didn't want 'advice' from anyone, more that you wanted for someone to come and tell you it's all OK and what you're doing isn't wrong.

    Well it is wrong. He has a girlfriend, he is in a relationship. If, by some miracle, he did leave her (which he won't) he'd only cheat on you, like he has on her. Forget him.

    You said 'leaving him isn't an option' there is nothing to leave! You don't even know him.
    Quite the contrary. I've actually already said that I'm really grateful for everyone's comments, especially the harsher ones as it's helping me to see things more clearly. It's easy to get tangled up in your own head and become a little blinkered to everything else, but this thread has helped. I'm most certainly not just looking for someone to come along and justify what I've done, because I know it's not right and I don't want someone to say that it is.
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    You keep saying "it's in the past now and irrelevant to the current situation" about him being 24 and chatting online to a 14 year old girl. But it is relevant, because he's the same person. How do you know he's not chatting online to other 14 year old girls even now (or for a while afterwards)? How do you know he's only ever "chatted" with underage girls? Do you really want to be with someone who at 24 found conversation with a 14 year old perfectly acceptable, even entertaining? At worst he's a pederast, at best he's horrendously mentally immature to find conversation with a 14 year old entertaining and stimulating. Also, someone else made an excellent point about the fact that he was in contact with you basically at the exact time in your life when you were first developing romantic and sexual feelings, so that now you associate those feelings with him - he essentially groomed you, and it's still affecting you even today (you'll likely get defensive on that point, but any third party onlooker into the situation would agree).

    EDIT: Furthermore, he cut off contact with you when he found out his girlfriend was pregnant - he evidently knew that what he was doing was wrong.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This kind of response is exactly why I was hesitant to post here.

    It's all fine and well for an outsider to read something, judge a situation and throw whatever comments out there. It's easy to judge a situation, it's not so easy to be the person in the situation.

    Like I said, I didn't plan for any of this to happen and of course I feel guilty about it so please try and refrain from hurling insults and abuse my way. You can have your opinion, I respect that, but aggressive and abusive messages aren't going to help.
    Please think about this from the child and girlfriends point of view, I have been in the place of the child and it was probably one of the hardest times in my life. I was only a few year older then the kids (who I am guessing is about 7) but I worked it all out, and I was the one to notice & confront my other family members to help me end the relationship between a guy(who was younger than my older brother) and my mum. During that time I had a pure hatred for them, how would you feel if you were the child. On top of everything the guy has the audacity to try and stay in contact with my mum-> which is what you have done, and I will never forgive them, now my family is on the verge of breaking and I will try and never see my family after going to uni... I am even thinking of trying to get custody of little brother once I turn 18 (because they are so screwed up). I would just like to say thank you to people like you for destroying my family.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you. I think I'm finding it more difficult than I should be right now because it's all still very fresh and recent, but I think the longer I go without seeing him, the easier it'll be to end it. My judgment is still clouded but I think once I'm able to clear my head a bit, what you and everyone else has said will sink in if that makes sense. Just up to me to come to my senses, really! x
    Good. Good luck with that, it can sometimes be difficult to see things clearly when they're raw and fresh. I hope that the other readers see this post and back off a bit (including myself)

    Clear your head, get him out of your system. It won't be easy, but it's definitely the best thing to do.
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    He lives in London and he's 31 and has a child and behaves dispicably. Not a footballer by any chance, perhaps for Chelsea?
 
 
 
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