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    (Original post by fredscarecrow)
    It's up to your girlfriend now. She has to make the decision and as hard as it is for you, you can't impact her deicsion or get in her way at all. There a few positives - you told her, she didn't find out from another source and you're obviously devastated and she will be able to see that.

    Answer any questions she has. Any amount of detail, don't hide ANYTHING if she asks you for it. if she decides to forgive and stay with you, then it will still take time. She will cry randomly, she will react badly to you saying you love her, and you'll never be able to say 'I'll never hurt you' ever again.Your relationship will never be the same. Let her have acess to your phone and emails if she needs or wants them. it will give her a little control back if she wants it.

    Then you have to start forgiving yourself. Accept that people make mistakes. Never speak to the other girl again. Ever, for any reason. Know that you really love your girlfriend and that there were no positives from your actions and that your gf deserves to be upset and is allowed to be irrational. But also understand if she decides to forgive you that she has made her decision and you should respect that - don't constantly be in fear shes about to change her mind because that's questioning her strength of mind. Don't try and double guess her!

    If she does split with you, well you made your bed and you have to lie in it. At the end of the day you should have thought about your devestation before you cheated. Think about how your gf feels, she never asked for the hurt, she just got lumped with it. You had a choice about ruining your life, she didn't. It's a terrible injustice. You will get on with it, you will get over it and find love again if you need to.

    This is coming from someone who was cheated on by their partner who confessed and was devastated by it. He was physically ill for weeks before and after he told me. I chose to forgive him and were buying a house and going to get married.
    Thanks, really helpful. Glad it worked out for you, that's positive.
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    (Original post by meilan990)
    I don't know how strong both of you are, but if its enough to make this work. Then i do wish you luck. you seem sincerely sorry for it and have admitted to the betrayal to her.
    I hope in the future for both of you it works out. I suppose reading through this thread you do seem like a genuine guy, who feels guilt and remorse for the mistake he did. Admitting to it and fully taken responsibility for it, not people can do that....some people can be oblivious that their actions can effect people in a bad way and get away with it........without knowing they put a person through hell.
    Thanks for the wishes. I am a nice person but messed up this once very badly. I am not the kind of person who could do this and not say anything. I just wish I had known this before hand-alcohol put me into a different world like never before.

    I really do care for her beyond words and hopefully I will make this work. I have hurt myself even more, never knew I could be capable of this.
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    If you don't care about the other girl then stop contacting her, prove to your girlfriend she's the only one you want.
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    Break contact with both girls. You're a disgrace. I'm sorry if I seem harsh but how dare you. You cannot blame drunkenness; if you can't handle the drink, don't drink - it's quite simple really.

    You haven't "scarred" yourself at all, you're trying to convince yourself that it's ok. Sadly, it's not - some people never learn, I fear that you're one of them.

    There's only two words for people like you: Open Relationship. That's really all you can hope for in the future.
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    (Original post by robzid)
    Break contact with both girls. You're a disgrace. I'm sorry if I seem harsh but how dare you. You cannot blame drunkenness; if you can't handle the drink, don't drink - it's quite simple really.

    You haven't "scarred" yourself at all, you're trying to convince yourself that it's ok. Sadly, it's not - some people never learn, I fear that you're one of them.

    There's only two words for people like you: Open Relationship. That's really all you can hope for in the future.
    I would never want an open relationship. Completely misunderstand me and my thread. Fair enough people who say I am a disgrace for this one error but don't try and second guess me and make silly presumptions. You feel quite strongly about this. Maybe you struggle with relationships in some form/capacity.

    I have two words for you too. First begins with F, second is O.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the positive message-you put a lot of thought into it. Yeah we spoke all yesterday and today-I explained everything. She reassured me and tried to cheer me up. Feel sad when I hear her sweet voice. I know she is hurt but she knows how down I can get.

    I will stop all contact with that girl and in fact all that friends circle. Just want to move on completely. I have deleted her from facebook just now.

    Oh in regards to the message I sent. It was actually sent to my gf saying I want to sleep with this other girl. I didn't know I sent it till the next day looking at my phone history. She has been aware of my frustrations for a while and has said she doesn't want me to keep waiting for her but it hurts her too seeing me sleep with other girls. She even replied saying it's ok-me being drunk I forgot that it would hurt her too.

    Just a complete mess. But now I know one thing for sure-I can't possibly to this ever again and will wait for her and her only. Our love is special and very real and I don't want anyone coming in between.
    No problem. You really seem to be trying to put this right. Aw I'm really happy that you two have been able to talk. The fact that she tried to cheer you up shows that she can see you are genuinely sorry. It's 'funny' because I used to think that if a guy ever cheated on me I would never ever ever in a million years take him back but I can see it's not as simple as that. I also used to wonder why some people cheat i.e. why can't they just have broken up with their partner first and then gone with the other person that they want to be with, in that way their partner wouldn't be hurt but again I can see it's not as simple as that. All in all it seems that she has started to accept your apologies. I know you're sad and you will probably think of this from time to time but just try to move on. She doesn't seem to be blaming you or being super angry at you anymore so try not to be too hard on yourself and just focus on trying to be happy (now that things are starting to be on the mend) and making your sweet girl happy
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I would never want an open relationship. Completely misunderstand me and my thread. Fair enough people who say I am a disgrace for this one error but don't try and second guess me and make silly presumptions. You feel quite strongly about this. Maybe you struggle with relationships in some form/capacity.

    I have two words for you too. First begins with F, second is O.
    What's that, Flight Organisation? You're obviously not a very nice person and I just hope you never get into another serious relationship with anyone ever again. Good luck living with the guilt knowing you're a dishonest person and a cheat!
 
 
 
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