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Kissed/touched another guy but does my boyfriend have to know? Watch

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    To be honest, I'd probably want to know if my boyfriend did this - and I probably would not stay with him either.

    If it were me, I would probably not do it in the first place, but if I did I would feel guilty and tell him. I'd tell him OP, but it probably won't end well
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    (Original post by kenanandkel)
    Girls like you make me sick. I got cheated on by my long term girlfriend and it took me a good year to get over it, that year was HELL for me. I have no respect for people like you, he deserves to know the truth and then dump your ass. SLUT.
    See people like you don't look at the bigger picture:

    WHY did your girlfriend cheat on you?

    Where you satisfying her sexually, most likely not. It's not rocket science why women jump into bed with another man, obviously something wasn't right between the two of you.
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    (Original post by Zarek)
    But again, there is a reality here that alcohol does often lead to stupid behaviour and sometimes very bad behaviour, in many contexts. Yet it is widely accepted as a pleasant social lubricant, when probably it should be banned!

    Agree with you that it is an insulting inflammatory excuse where earth shattering betrayal has occurred. But I do feel in some contexts it could be weighed in as a mitigating factor.

    Bet OP (if she is for real) wishes she had never sought out advice..
    I accept that but drinking enough as a social lubricant is not enough to commit truly terrible acts. I'm not sure how familiar you are with being drunk but there is a surprising element of self control people have - they just choose to not exercise it because they want to be silly and have fun and know that people won't judge them as much, but when you know it's truly bad you will be able to stop yourself. If you drink so much that you can't even exercise that self control and you drank enough that it's no longer 'just a social lubricant' that's where your second statement comes in. It most definitely is insulting to insinuate they should cut you some slack because you CHOSE to be in a position where you lost all self control and want to get off the hook for all actions committed in that state.

    Hence the 'drunk is never an excuse' regardless of how much the alcohol actually affected your behaviour. It's not intended to imply that alcohol doesn't impair your judgement but to say that it's up to you to accept the responsibility of being drunk.
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    To err is human. To cover it up is just cowardly.

    You need to look for some new friends.
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    I wouldn't tell him if it were me - I wouldn't want to lose my boyfriend. If the guilt is eating you up, though, you may feel more comfortable by telling him, regardless of whether the relationship ends or not.
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    Why anyone posts something like this looking for advice is so freaking beyond me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Last weekend I went out with a couple of my friends and got fairly drunk, there was this guy who kept coming up to me/dancing with me and I was kind flirting with him. I ended up getting quite intimate with him, we kissed and touched each other a bit but we NEVER slept together nor did I go back to his. Now my friends have all told me not to say anything to my boyfriend because it meant NOTHING and it is complete out of character for me to do such a thing but I can't cope with it and I feel so guilty because it is so unlike me.

    What do you guys think I should do?

    I don't want to give too much away in terms of my boyfriend/how long we have been together because I know he goes on this site quite a bit hence why I am anon.
    I think you should tell him when you got very drunk and you really regret it and it was the alcohol and not you that did those things. Cry a lot, ask for forgiveness and look as if you mean it. Tell him you'll not get drunk ever again or you'll make sure it never gets to that situation again. I'm sure he'll understand and forgive you.
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    (Original post by rock_climber86)
    I think you should tell him when you got very drunk and you really regret it and it was the alcohol and not you that did those things. Cry a lot, ask for forgiveness and look as if you mean it. Tell him you'll not get drunk ever again or you'll make sure it never gets to that situation again. I'm sure he'll understand and forgive you.

    errrr.....seriously??

    :facepalm:
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    (Original post by rock_climber86)
    I think you should tell him when you got very drunk and you really regret it and it was the alcohol and not you that did those things. Cry a lot, ask for forgiveness and look as if you mean it. Tell him you'll not get drunk ever again or you'll make sure it never gets to that situation again. I'm sure he'll understand and forgive you.
    Totally agree with you, *high five*
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    (Original post by rock_climber86)
    I think you should tell him when you got very drunk and you really regret it and it was the alcohol and not you that did those things. Cry a lot, ask for forgiveness and look as if you mean it. Tell him you'll not get drunk ever again or you'll make sure it never gets to that situation again. I'm sure he'll understand and forgive you.
    Either you are a troll or a next level tool. How can you, as a man say this?

    You're directly telling her to be dishonest about talking to him about it so he thinks she's being honest.
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    (Original post by Treeroy)
    I wouldn't tell him if it were me - I wouldn't want to lose my boyfriend. If the guilt is eating you up, though, you may feel more comfortable by telling him, regardless of whether the relationship ends or not.
    You what?!

    I broke up with the only girl I ever loved because she kissed a guy in a nightclub, nothing more. Now there's been times I've regretted it because we'd probably be together now if I hadn't and I've missed her a lot.

    but the point is, it's made me stronger as a person and when I've got a wife and kids that I know I can depend on I'll look back and think "I'm proud of myself for doing the right thing"

    Whereas you'd probably look back and think "I was a sniffling little mug when I was a teenager and I should've manned up".
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    (Original post by StringerBell9)
    Either you are a troll or a next level tool. How can you, as a man say this?

    You're directly telling her to be dishonest about talking to him about it so he thinks she's being honest.
    either you are a troll or you can't read properly. I was actually advising her of doing the converse! I.e. being honest and telling her it happened, whereas others are telling her not to bring it up to him. How is telling her bf of the drunken kiss and touching each other 'lying'? :hmmm:
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    (Original post by StringerBell9)
    You what?!

    I broke up with the only girl I ever loved because she kissed a guy in a nightclub, nothing more. Now there's been times I've regretted it because we'd probably be together now if I hadn't and I've missed her a lot.

    but the point is, it's made me stronger as a person and when I've got a wife and kids that I know I can depend on I'll look back and think "I'm proud of myself for doing the right thing"

    Whereas you'd probably look back and think "I was a sniffling little mug when I was a teenager and I should've manned up".
    You're thinking of this from the wrong position. From the position of the cheater, I wouldn't tell him because presumably I would still want to be with my boyfriend. Obviously that doesn't necessarily mean my boyfriend would want to stay with me, but he wouldn't know.
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    (Original post by rock_climber86)
    either you are a troll or you can't read properly. I was actually advising her of doing the converse! I.e. being honest and telling her it happened, whereas others are telling her not to bring it up to him. How is telling her bf of the drunken kiss and touching each other 'lying'? :hmmm:
    You're telling her to be dishonest, the honest thing to do would just say "I was really drunk and I chose to get off with this guy". Blaming the alcohol, trying to skew him away from anger by crying and being like 'I'll never drink again, I'm so sorry' would be lying.

    (Original post by Treeroy)
    You're thinking of this from the wrong position. From the position of the cheater, I wouldn't tell him because presumably I would still want to be with my boyfriend. Obviously that doesn't necessarily mean my boyfriend would want to stay with me, but he wouldn't know.
    I'm not so selfish as to keep such destructive secrets between my partner and I for personal gain. If I make a mistake like this, how I feel about it is irrelevent.
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    (Original post by StringerBell9)
    I'm not so selfish as to keep such destructive secrets between my partner and I for personal gain. If I make a mistake like this, how I feel about it is irrelevent.
    Then that's where we differ. I care about myself, first and foremost. Everyone else comes later.
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    (Original post by Treeroy)
    Then that's where we differ. I care about myself, first and foremost. Everyone else comes later.
    I respect you for putting it so bluntly.

    We'll have to agree to disagree. (Y)
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    I bet if he said if its anal its not cheating you would go all in, cuz it doesn't count


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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    See people like you don't look at the bigger picture:

    WHY did your girlfriend cheat on you?

    Where you satisfying her sexually, most likely not. It's not rocket science why women jump into bed with another man, obviously something wasn't right between the two of you.
    You clearly have zero remorse about what you've done then.

    This train of thoughts pisses me off to no end. There is never, ever any justification for cheating on someone. I don't care if you haven't had sex for three years, when you enter into a relationship, you agree to seeing each other exclusively, and you owe them your loyalty. You're not happy with the way things are going, you either stop being a promiscuous tart getting your jollies with other men and then projecting it onto your partner and talk to them about it, or you leave.

    Or are you so primitively-minded that your need for sex overpowers any conscious thought?
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    Hmm.. cheated on your boyfriend and you're trying to convince yourself how it's all ok. :smug:

    Nice one.

    If you weren't being sexually satisfied or whatever lame-ass excuse you're using to justify your behaviour..you should've ended things with your bf before getting with other men, no? :pierre:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Everyone makes mistake, we are humans at the end of the day :rolleyes:
    The only people who say this are ones who need an excuse to justify their terrible actions.
 
 
 
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