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Stay at home mums have the hardest job and here's why. Watch

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    (Original post by Red one)
    Typical career girl mentality. You're too frivolous and self-assured to discern the selfishness of your own actions. You're dumping your children on someone else who with no doubt will not give them the same level of attention, love or care as you. Yet you delude yourself with this amusing notion that you're going out to work FOR them when it's actually for you. There's nothing wrong with going out to work and caring for your kids with money however some of us choose to care for them the ol' fashioned way: with love.

    At least have the common decency to admit it to yourself.



    It depends on several factors like the level of care they give and to how many kids they care for etc, etc. I'm not denying that single parents have it bad but it's not exactly what this thread is about.
    Are you suggesting working mothers don't love their children? Because that would be pretty extreme, it would for example suggest that my mother didn't love me or my sister...
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    (Original post by hannah697)
    You know what's even more pathetic? How you actually just called women who go back to work after having kids selfish! How can you complain about how people treat stay at home mums horribly when you're doing the same to women who go back to work?
    I presume you think men are selfish for going back to work often less than one month after having kids?:rolleyes:

    I did not criticise mum's who go back to work ASAP after giving birth, you might want to re-read the quote you just responded to in the correct context. I was making a point for how society wants women to go back to work to contribute to the GDP rather than actually look after their loved ones for more than 2 weeks.

    And no I don't think men are selfish.
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    (Original post by awe)
    I would agree that parenting is one of the toughest 'tasks' in the world.

    Saying that being a 'stay at home parent' is the toughest job in the world is just wildly hyperbolic. I think there is nothing wrong with being that person, there's nothing to be mocked there and undoubtedly there are some very difficult and time-consuming things involved. But without a doubt there are harder jobs.

    Also, not every mother is the fabulous caring unconditional-love maternal figure. That's not what is always required. I don't think mothers should do everything, give up everything, there's a balance to be found. My mum was/is fab, raised three girls somewhat by herself, and she would 'scoff' at the video for so many reasons. Partner's mum raised five boys in the same fashion, would also probably find it to be a bit daft for different reasons.

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    (Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
    So many people don't get this. Instead of two people working for £25k each part time, hardly seeing each other, wishing they didn't have to, one person works for £50k and the other person stays home to look after the child. Division of labour. They have more time together and can specialise as a result
    You can both work full time whilst having children, at one point during my childhood my parents were both running schools, the upshot of this was that we had more money than if just one of them had been running a school, rather than them having to work part time. They didn't see each other much, but then no head sees their spouse much, such is the nature of the job, so you might as well take the extra 100k.
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    Not sure I'd call it the hardest job, but it can certainly be quite a tough job depending on circumstances. Mothers from poor families with lots of children living in deprived areas have a very hard job, whereas mothers from more well off families with one or two kids living in a decent are don't have as tough a job as the other group of mothers.

    Moreover, raising children is no easy job. It's a full time commitment. Needs dedication, time and patience.
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    (Original post by Le Nombre)
    Are you suggesting working mothers don't love their children? Because that would be pretty extreme, it would for example suggest that my mother didn't love me or my sister...

    In some cases there's no choice both parents NEED to work where having a stay-at-home partner is possible and these households I am not critcising in any way shape or form. However, I was referring to households where mums don't have to work but they choose to because they want to which is again understandable but you can't pretend like you're doing it for your kids when you're doing it for you.



    (Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
    So many people don't get this. Instead of two people working for £25k each part time, hardly seeing each other, wishing they didn't have to, one person works for £50k and the other person stays home to look after the child. Division of labour. They have more time together and can specialise as a result

    Exactly!
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    (Original post by Le Nombre)
    You can both work full time whilst having children, at one point during my childhood my parents were both running schools, the upshot of this was that we had more money than if just one of them had been running a school, rather than them having to work part time. They didn't see each other much, but then no head sees their spouse much, such is the nature of the job, so you might as well take the extra 100k.
    Yes but I don't think it's very pleasant to do so.
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    (Original post by rayquaza17)
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    If you know it's not used solely to describe curves, then what is the point of your post?
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    I wonder why disputing that being a stay at home mum is the hardest job immediately means you're saying there's something wrong with it.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a stay at home mum (IMO) but that doesn't mean I'm going to patronise people by glibly agreeing that it's the hardest job around - it quite clearly is nothing of the sort.

    Whenever I tell people I don't want kids I get a condescending pat on the arm and a reassurance that I'll change my mind because children are the most wonderful thing. I always think...If that's the case, why aren't so many stay at home mums just content to be with their children; why is there an almost relentless barrage of validation that needs to take place?
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    (Original post by Jessaay!)
    If you know it's not used solely to describe curves, then what is the point of your post?
    Because I only knew that after 'Googling' it.

    It doesn't seem natural to me for that word to appear in a sentence like that.
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    If there are mums that manage it along with a full time job then it clearly isn't nearly as difficult as a full time job, that would make working mums working the equivalent 2 full time jobs which frankly they aren't


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    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    my mum was a housewife, raising kids, cleaning, cooking AND worked a job.

    Thats harder I think
    My sentiments exactly.


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    (Original post by Red one)
    I did not criticise mum's who go back to work ASAP after giving birth, you might want to re-read the quote you just responded to in the correct context. I was making a point for how society wants women to go back to work to contribute to the GDP rather than actually look after their loved ones for more than 2 weeks.

    And no I don't think men are selfish.
    I think you'll find you did....society wants men to go back to work to contribute to the GDP rather than actually look after their loved ones for more than 2 weeks too but I don't see you making a fuss about that.
    And why would women be selfish for going back to work but men not?:rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Red one)
    In some cases there's no choice both parents NEED to work where having a stay-at-home partner is possible and these households I am not critcising in any way shape or form. However, I was referring to households where mums don't have to work but they choose to because they want to which is again understandable but you can't pretend like you're doing it for your kids when you're doing it for you.
    I don't think either of my parents pretended they did the job for us, they did it because they enjoyed it and the things it bought, both for the family and for them individually, but that's very different to saying that making that choice means you are eschewing loving your children in favour of getting them material things.

    (Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
    Yes but I don't think it's very pleasant to do so.
    OK, but you presented it as though it were a diametric choice, that one either chose to have both parents working part time for an amount similar to what a single parent could earn full time, or one working full time and the other staying at home, when it is perfectly plausible to have both parents work full time. If you want you can even have both parents work very high powered jobs, I know a couple where he is a tax partner in the Big 4 and she is head of corporate for a major law firm, though their kids board.
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    (Original post by StretfordEnd)
    I wonder why disputing that being a stay at home mum is the hardest job immediately means you're saying there's something wrong with it.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a stay at home mum (IMO) but that doesn't mean I'm going to patronise people by glibly agreeing that it's the hardest job around - it quite clearly is nothing of the sort.

    Whenever I tell people I don't want kids I get a condescending pat on the arm and a reassurance that I'll change my mind because children are the most wonderful thing. I always think...If that's the case, why aren't so many stay at home mums just content to be with their children; why is there an almost relentless barrage of validation that needs to take place?
    I agree with this. Mothers, in my opinion, seem to be automatically given respect to the point where people who choose not to be a parent are patronised and seen as 'bad'.

    I'd argue that mothers saying they have the 'hardest job in the world' aren't enjoying parenthood or are just trying to fight for martyrdom. I respect stay at home mothers just as much as I respect people who choose a career rather than having kids. I respect that raising a kid requires a lot of hard work etc and it's emotionally and physically exhausting. However, I really don't think that automatically means they deserve to be treated as martyrs. They chose to do it because they wanted to be a parent and stay home with their kids. They deserve respect because they're doing a good job and doing what they choose to do. However, they do not necessarily deserve any more respect than the woman nextdoor who chooses to work her entire life and not have kids. Both are equally a choice.

    I'd actually argue that the 'hardest job' is one you do not choose to do; something that you don't enjoy or that gives very little reward (both financially and in terms of enjoyment). Being utterly miserable is the hardest thing in the world.

    I agree that mothers who choose to stay at home to raise their kids deserve more respect than they currently get, but I in no way see them as martyrs. I think it's offensive to people who choose not to have kids to say that, or indeed, it's offensive to those who choose to have kids and work to say that somehow they're not parenting right.
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    I'm guessing you've never worked before, OP, because naivety is the only thing that can explain this ridiculous thread title.

    I'm assume what you actually meant is "Stay at home mums have a harder job than people make out and here's why".
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    Eh, it's a hard job but not the hardest. Easier than coal mining or pulling 12 hour shifts in an ER. Plus once the kids hit secondary school it is pretty much a non job.
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    (Original post by xDave-)
    I'm guessing you've never worked before, OP, because naivety is the only thing that can explain this ridiculous thread title.

    I'm assume what you actually meant is "Stay at home mums have a harder job than people make out and here's why".
    I have never worked, that much is true then again we are on a student forum where the majority have never earned a living off their own back. So what's your point? Do you also believe that the we as students can't hold political opinions or indeed vote because we don't work? And does working making you mystically have an epiphany that changes your outlooks on everything? :rolleyes:

    Stay at home mums have it the hardest, it doesn't pay and it's 24 hours and the consequences of failing to do it properly are final.
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    I think I would have suffocated if my mum was around me 24/7 as a child.
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    (Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
    So many people don't get this. Instead of two people working for £25k each part time, hardly seeing each other, wishing they didn't have to, one person works for £50k and the other person stays home to look after the child. Division of labour. They have more time together and can specialise as a result
    I do actually agree quite strongly with this. If one partner earns enough to comfortably support a family, there is no NEED for the other partner to work. If they do decide to work they are trading time with the kids for more money, which while not necessarily a bad thing I can sympathise with parents who are loathe to do that.

    But to be honest, this is only really applicable when the kids are young anyway. Once the kids are in school they are out of the house for half the day anyway, and it does not take eight hours a day to keep a house tidy. And once they reach secondary school they can sort themselves out most of the time and contribute to chores.
 
 
 
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