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    (Original post by kimolozen)
    You have to figure this out on your own.

    If you join some clubs, you will make at least some acquaintances, some casual friends. who in turn could be gfs in time, or know other women who they can hook you up with.
    Do girls actually voluntarily without you asking "hook you up" or set you up with friends??!

    No way bro.
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    (Original post by kimolozen)
    And you have been given good advice beforehand. What more do you want exactly? I don't get it.

    Sometimes in a life problem, you have to be a bit dogged to get what you want. You're being too defeatist.
    Fair play, need to be more of an optimist!!
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    (Original post by kimolozen)
    You have to figure this out on your own.

    If you join some clubs, you will make at least some acquaintances, some casual friends. who in turn could be gfs in time, or know other women who they can hook you up with.
    I'll try. Do you just ask them "Female friend, introduce me to your female friends?"
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    Yeah that's a point!
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      (Original post by pshah2)
      Yess lad.

      Only thing is I am a teensy bit shy. Where are the best bars to meet girls in London? I'm in my 20s.

      Also where do I find a wingman? I just moved here.
      Where are the best... Are you for real?

      There truly are too many bars to choose from, download Bar Chick and go from there

      You do that by partying your arse off, real men don't need wingmen, they have wing-women
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      er....are both of you the same person?

      still.....this isn't really getting anywhere. Girls would hook you up once you have some rapport. They know your character so they can vouch for you.

      all i will say more is just get into activities, talk to women, some will form friendships or dates, and go from there. to use the cliche, just put yourself out there.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      Do girls actually voluntarily without you asking "hook you up" or set you up with friends??!

      No way bro.
      lolwut?

      i think you're just pulling my leg....i'll desist from now on...lol..

      and to answer question, some do, others don't. depends on their personality, and how close you are to them.
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      (Original post by pshah2)
      Ah solid advice. Yeah I guess it takes practice and then it comes naturally.

      How do you actually go about socialising/meeting enough ppl?

      I've just moved here, there are not that many sociable ppl on my analyst class nor do I know many ppl my age at the moment. I'm very busy on weekdays till 7pm sometimes.

      I'd really like to meet a group of great friends like in Friends and experience dating like in HIMYM!!

      Is this all literally complete fantasy or is it remotely possible?!
      In my case I'm heavily involved in a couple of martial arts clubs and that forms the basis of my social life. I meet up with people for training 4 times a week and in the evenings after practice we go to the pub. I hold the unofficial position of 'social secretary' in the aikido club, which means I organise social events for us. This weekend for example we went to the town's beer and cider festival. And this weekend coming we're going to another one. So that's what I did, but if you want to meet a lot of girls it's probably better you do something different to me. Joining clubs is a good idea to meet people, and if the people you become friends with are social and they like you, you have opportunities to go along to the social things they do. Obviously you have to find something you can fit in with your schedule.

      (Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
      You make it sound so easy
      Well, it's not easy for me either. The only reason I can talk a bit about it is because I've been in the position where I've wanted to explicitly improve at it.
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      It's not that hard - think what does a girl like to do?

      They like riding, drama clubs, dancing for example.

      Take riding lessons - there'll be hordes of girls there and almost no men. Paradise. You don't need to continue the lessons for ever ( unless you get hooked) just long enough to make friends. Any girl with her own horse will be there probably everyday after work and no doubt for hours at weekend. After your lesson you just wander around, offer to help if they're struggling with a hay bale, admire their horses, ask for tips riding, ask them about their horse - how long have they had them, are they going to a show soon, can you help? You'll not be able to shut them up and they'll love you for ever.

      Join a drama group - there are never enough men but loads of girls. You don't need to act, just help back stage or selling tickets etc.

      Learn to dance - something like salsa, latin american stuff, where you do it with a partner. - you can chat and have a laugh while you walk all over her feet.

      Have you got sisters, female cousins - what do they do? and can you muscle in on it?
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      lololol... OP/Anonymous, two more persons have come and said more or less what all others have said. I suspect more will continue to...

      I'm being serious here...what advice do you want exactly?

      Speaking to a girl in a group is kind of like:

      "Have you been here long?"
      "well I joined about a year ago because I like dancing."
      "did you learn here, or have you danced before?"
      "no, I studied dancing when I was young, but kind of got out of it and getting back."
      "well i'm here for the first time, because I've always wanted to learn. My name is xyz, what's your's?"
      "Kim."
      "Nice to meet you, Kim."

      And it goes from there....

      Once you and hypothetical Kim become at least casual friends and talk online, you can ask her to hang out. if she says yes, and you genuinely like her/thinks she's cute, then ask her out in a date setting.

      But then you'd probably dismiss this, and think it's impossible...lol...well I tried..
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      (Original post by pickup)
      It's not that hard - think what does a girl like to do?

      They like riding, drama clubs, dancing for example.

      Take riding lessons - there'll be hordes of girls there and almost no men. Paradise. You don't need to continue the lessons for ever ( unless you get hooked) just long enough to make friends. Any girl with her own horse will be there probably everyday after work and no doubt for hours at weekend. After your lesson you just wander around, offer to help if they're struggling with a hay bale, admire their horses, ask for tips riding, ask them about their horse - how long have they had them, are they going to a show soon, can you help? You'll not be able to shut them up and they'll love you for ever.

      Join a drama group - there are never enough men but loads of girls. You don't need to act, just help back stage or selling tickets etc.

      Learn to dance - something like salsa, latin american stuff, where you do it with a partner. - you can chat and have a laugh while you walk all over her feet.

      Have you got sisters, female cousins - what do they do? and can you muscle in on it?
      Awesome advice!
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      (Original post by kimolozen)
      lololol... OP/Anonymous, two more persons have come and said more or less what all others have said. I suspect more will continue to...

      I'm being serious here...what advice do you want exactly?

      Speaking to a girl in a group is kind of like:

      "Have you been here long?"
      "well I joined about a year ago because I like dancing."
      "did you learn here, or have you danced before?"
      "no, I studied dancing when I was young, but kind of got out of it and getting back."
      "well i'm here for the first time, because I've always wanted to learn. My name is xyz, what's your's?"
      "Kim."
      "Nice to meet you, Kim."

      And it goes from there....

      Once you and hypothetical Kim become at least casual friends and talk online, you can ask her to hang out. if she says yes, and you genuinely like her/thinks she's cute, then ask her out in a date setting.

      But then you'd probably dismiss this, and think it's impossible...lol...well I tried..
      I see thanks bud. Yeah advice on how to speak to them in a group setting or walking up to them and talking would be helpful.

      Need to just go out and do it. I've seen flyers for these sorts of things, but do 20 somethings hang out at such things? I thought it would be in your 30s or as a couple you would do it.
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      (Original post by pshah2)
      I see thanks bud. Yeah advice on how to speak to them in a group setting or walking up to them and talking would be helpful.

      Need to just go out and do it. I've seen flyers for these sorts of things, but do 20 somethings hang out at such things? I thought it would be in your 30s or as a couple you would do it.
      yes. why shouldn't they?

      I'm not a dating guru, but this stuff you have to mull through and fake it until you make it.
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        Doing things you enjoy - that way if they're there too you have a mutual interests and share that thing together be brave and pluck up the courage to talk to her and find out about her or go with a friend to be your wing-person and get the ball rolling

        Failing that join a few clubs, or dating sites and look for profiles that tick boxes for you and chat on Skype or kik or what's app and get the communication flowing from your end and that should help with confidence and ice breaking

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        (Original post by pshah2)
        Mate I have to agree with you.
        Not really a pub guy myself. It's even worse when Mon-Thurs I could be working till 7 sometimes.

        Don't have anyone from uni at my workplace or nearby. I had a small analyst class who mostly came from the same uni and are mostly brash people who aren't that friendly and just drink tbh.

        Whenever I meet ppl, they seem to like me, especially those slightly older than me.

        I am friendly, want to make good friends in the city like they do in sitcoms I guess. And I would love to experience dating in your 20s, but it seems impossible in London!

        I know sitcoms are TV, but is life just different in NYC?! How is it this hard to meet girls?

        It's just difficult to meet young ppl like me in an environment where it's alive, but not too noisy (like a club).
        I think americans are generally more friendlier and easy to make friends everyone says they are more out goinging and just from observations of going to holiday destinations popular with americans. They all talk to each other and stuff whilst the brits just stand in silence.


        (Original post by cole-slaw)
        I've moved to a new city three times now and work the same hours you do. Every time I find it really easy to get a good group of friends within a few months. If you think pubs are full of the wrong crowd, you're going to the wrong pubs. The pubs round me are full of 20-30 year olds. Its virtually impossible not to make friends if you just go and chat to people.

        But hey, what do I know, don't take my advice, be alone.

        Im not calling you a liar or anything so dont get all uptight. You suggested uni societies when clearly people in early 20s will have graduated.

        If you already have a group of friends or are travelling in groups of 2s or 3s is far easier to meet other groups of friends. If you are on your own you look akward and loner as ****. Which pubs in London ??? You must be some social butterfly
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        (Original post by pshah2)
        Awesome advice!
        Thanks ( and if you decide to do the riding thing, remember girls talk about ponies in the same terms as they talk about their friends - Mary's feeling grumpy today, Poppy's nervous, Johnnie's not himself........ took me ages to sort out which was which! )
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        OP has got five pages of advice, but then he is NOT taking any! lololol..

        OP, yes, many 20-somethings go to clubs/groups. It's part of really being an adult in modern society, in school it's easier to make friends/get dates, but as an adult there is less scope. It's not cliche, it's fact....
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        (Original post by James222)
        I think americans are generally more friendlier and easy to make friends everyone says they are more out goinging and just from observations of going to holiday destinations popular with americans. They all talk to each other and stuff whilst the brits just stand in silence.
        I know lots of Americans, I don't think they're any friendlier or less friendly than a Brit. They just have a different accent, that's all.

        Im not calling you a liar or anything so dont get all uptight. You suggested uni societies when clearly people in early 20s will have graduated.

        If you already have a group of friends or are travelling in groups of 2s or 3s is far easier to meet other groups of friends. If you are on your own you look akward and loner as ****. Which pubs in London ??? You must be some social butterfly
        Not uni clubs you great dingbat, normal regular people clubs, like cricket clubs, cycling clubs, knitting groups, heavy metal gig goers groups.

        Whatever you're into, there will be a club for it in your local area if you google it.
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        (Original post by pshah2)
        I see thanks bud. Yeah advice on how to speak to them in a group setting or walking up to them and talking would be helpful.
        Just sit near them, read the paper or something, then at an appropriate moment, join in with their conversation. If its a disagreement, then jump in with your opinion or a joke. Wait until you have something witty/insightful to say.

        They will often pause, (thinking who the **** is this bloke), and then say something like "see, this lad agrees with me! What's your name, mate?" and then you can join in with the convo. If you ask to join them, they will probably make space.

        This is how all conversations in pubs work.
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        (Original post by Mr Smurf)
        You don't. If you are single by the time you graduate you grow old and die alone.
        😂. So true.


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