Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Guys: Would you ever approach a pretty girl who wears a hijab? Watch

Announcements
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Ribbit1234)
    Yes why
    Does it matter what year you meet someone? Some girls I've spoken to say they only want to think about marriage in their last year.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    This thread is so interesting
    I've always wondered how the whole getting to know someone for marriage process would work in a way that is islamic but not awkward :/
    Have to admit it's nice to hear people talking about marriage for a change instead of their bf/gf


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by aishaahmed96)
    This thread is so interesting
    I've always wondered how the whole getting to know someone for marriage process would work in a way that is islamic but not awkward :/
    Have to admit it's nice to hear people talking about marriage for a change instead of their bf/gf


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    If you don't mind, whats your stance on the whole 'how to get married' process? A clearer question would be what would be ideal for you if a guy likes you?
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Does it matter what year you meet someone? Some girls I've spoken to say they only want to think about marriage in their last year.
    Yh last. Inshallah. A lot of my friends want to too. Right nows bit too yyoung and theres more of chance of breaking up etc
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Don't you think thats a bit shallow though? the ONLY reason you want to marry her is because of her looks, as you said you've only spoken to her briefly. However, I wish you the best of luck
    I admit that it is. And maybe she might not be appropriate for me when I get to know her. If that is the case then we simply won't get married. Hence why it is vital for me to get to know her in a Halal way.

    "A woman is normally sought as a wife for her wealth, her beauty, her nobility, or her deen (religiousness), so choose a religious woman and you will prosper." [Muslim]

    Beauty is important. Islamically it is important to be attracted to your spouse, but the end of the Hadith states the most important factor is Piety. I've consulted third parties who have stated that this girl is a pious girl. Upon finding this out I became even more attracted to her. More than the factor of her beauty, a lot more. But bear in mind she is extremely beautiful. And thank you, remember we believe in fate, not luck. But thank you again.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Ribbit1234)
    Yh last. Inshallah. A lot of my friends want to too. Right nows bit too yyoung and theres more of chance of breaking up etc
    I see, by last year do you mean that's when you want the guy to make the move or that's when you start getting parents involved (so you and the guy have known each other for a year or so).
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cem101)
    as i said earlier, don't just go with what you're told, the hijab does more harm than good.
    How does it do harm exactly? If it stops a guy having perveted thoughts about you and respect you. Them knowing youre a muslim girl so wont sleep around etc so no point trying it on. Well thats a good thing? Is it not
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ribbit1234)
    How does it do harm exactly? If it stops a guy having perveted thoughts about you and respect you. Them knowing youre a muslim girl so wont sleep around etc so no point trying it on. Well thats a good thing? Is it not
    no, by wearing it you accept that you should cover up because of a mans desires, rather than teaching him that he should control himself, if a woman has a problem with my hair colour i wouldn't dye it/ cut it all off/ wear a hijab. id tell her to do one.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Aww. I wish you all the best insha allah.
    (Original post by cobalion955)
    I admit that it is. And maybe she might not be appropriate for me when I get to know her. If that is the case then we simply won't get married. Hence why it is vital for me to get to know her in a Halal way.

    "A woman is normally sought as a wife for her wealth, her beauty, her nobility, or her deen (religiousness), so choose a religious woman and you will prosper." [Muslim]

    Beauty is important. Islamically it is important to be attracted to your spouse, but the end of the Hadith states the most important factor is Piety. I've consulted third parties who have stated that this girl is a pious girl. Upon finding this out I became even more attracted to her. More than the factor of her beauty, a lot more. But bear in mind she is extremely beautiful. And thank you, remember we believe in fate, not luck. But thank you again.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ribbit1234)
    Thats fine but you cant just say youre going to marry her like your definite about it. She might not like you back. You should say you want to get to know her. Btw try and ask her parents directly rather than telling her first that you want to marry her. Tell them youve seen her at uni and have heard from around shes a good girl etc etc. So they know your intentions are pure. She might get a bit spooked if u ask her directly and she doesn't know u
    But I don't have their contact details. I can only get the parents contact details from her.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If you don't mind, whats your stance on the whole 'how to get married' process? A clearer question would be what would be ideal for you if a guy likes you?
    If I'm honest I'm actually quite strict about it so if a guy came upto me and asked for my number I would be absolutely mortified as I have no intention of getting to know a guy that personally
    Its a really difficult questions tbh becoz somedays i just think to keep it as islamic as possible i will let my parents find me a partner and get to know then dat way
    but other days i actually feel like it would be better to find someone at uni

    anyways to answer your question if a guy liked me and was clearly religious and serious about it then I I guess I would find out more about him from other people and I would probably ask my brother to come along so I can meet him and get to know him but that might be awkward :/ but less awkward than my dad being there lol

    Anyhow so after getting to know him for a while like dat and we both wish to marry I would probably inform my parents and then continue getting to know him but maybe he could come round to my house and I go to his obviously with the family around but not directly sat with us

    But in all honesty it really depends on the situation for example if this is a guy who is in all my classes and who I see regularly and work with ect then of course that would be easier becoz we could skip to the telling the family stage becoz we know each other but if it's a random guy then it would be much more difficult I think

    Sorry for long post and wats ur stance on this situation if u don't mind me asking



    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cem101)
    no, by wearing it you accept that you should cover up because of a mans desires, rather than teaching him that he should control himself, if a woman has a problem with my hair colour i wouldn't dye it/ cut it all off/ wear a hijab. id tell her to do one.
    a guy can still be turned on by a woman wearing a hijab though. If someones hot then theyre hot regardless of if theyre wearing a hijaab or not. But the hijab would show that she wouldnt be up for it. And for the hundreth time most hijabis dont cover up for mens desires. They do it for Themselves!
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by aishaahmed96)
    If I'm honest I'm actually quite strict about it so if a guy came upto me and asked for my number I would be absolutely mortified as I have no intention of getting to know a guy that personally
    Its a really difficult questions tbh becoz somedays i just think to keep it as islamic as possible i will let my parents find me a partner and get to know then dat way
    but other days i actually feel like it would be better to find someone at uni

    anyways to answer your question if a guy liked me and was clearly religious and serious about it then I I guess I would find out more about him from other people and I would probably ask my brother to come along so I can meet him and get to know him but that might be awkward :/ but less awkward than my dad being there lol

    Anyhow so after getting to know him for a while like dat and we both wish to marry I would probably inform my parents and then continue getting to know him but maybe he could come round to my house and I go to his obviously with the family around but not directly sat with us

    But in all honesty it really depends on the situation for example if this is a guy who is in all my classes and who I see regularly and work with ect then of course that would be easier becoz we could skip to the telling the family stage becoz we know each other but if it's a random guy then it would be much more difficult I think

    Sorry for long post and wats ur stance on this situation if u don't mind me asking



    Posted from TSR Mobile
    This is what I plan on doing (when and if the time comes):

    Be friends with the girl for 1-2 months and see if we click, it will be pretty obvious if I like her and if she likes me within that period.
    Tell her that I like her and would like to continue getting to know her with the intention of marriage.
    Spend around a year or two with her and then get parents involved.

    Throughout this whole process there will be no touchy-touchy business. I know its not Islamic but... that's what I see myself doing.

    What do you personally think of my plan?
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cobalion955)
    But I don't have their contact details. I can only get the parents contact details from her.
    Ask around? Ask a mutual friend? Im guessing youre an asian. Its not hard.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Ribbit1234)
    a guy can still be turned on by a woman wearing a hijab though. If someones hot then theyre hot regardless of if theyre wearing a hijaab or not. But the hijab would show that she wouldnt be up for it. And for the hundreth time most hijabis dont cover up for mens desires. They do it for Themselves!
    I think some girls look way hotter with a hijab than without it, maybe it's just personal preference though for me. I'd prefer my future-wife to be wearing a hijab, I wouldn't judge them if they don't though.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ribbit1234)
    Ask around? Ask a mutual friend? Im guessing youre an asian. Its not hard.
    I'll ask her mutual friends then. It'll be awkward because all her friends are girls. Both of us don't do free mixing. And yes I am Asian, but she's not. She's African.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Ribbit1234)
    Ask around? Ask a mutual friend? Im guessing youre an asian. Its not hard.
    Noo I think asking parents first would be a bad idea. What if parents say okay but she says no from the get-go. I think you should ask her and if she's willing to give her parents contact details then it shows that shes interested also.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by cobalion955)
    I'll ask her mutual friends then. It'll be awkward because all her friends are girls. Both of us don't do free mixing. And yes I am Asian, but she's not. She's African.
    You thought about the fact that it may be harder because of different culture? A lot of parents would rather their kids get married to people from the same country so they understand their culture etc. I'm Pakistani and I know my parents would say no to anyone that's not Pakistani unless I pursue it to extreme measures.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Noo I think asking parents first would be a bad idea. What if parents say okay but she says no from the get-go. I think you should ask her and if she's willing to give her parents contact details then it shows that shes interested also.
    That's what I intend to do. It's her decision in the end on the day, not her parents decision. Her parents need to be present during the process to shepherd the conversations and so do my parents.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Noo I think asking parents first would be a bad idea. What if parents say okay but she says no from the get-go. I think you should ask her and if she's willing to give her parents contact details then it shows that shes interested also.
    Naa trust. Thats creepy af. Going up to a girl and saying 'hey I wanna marry you. Can I get ur parents details so I can ask them for their*blessing'
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: June 22, 2015
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Will you be richer or poorer than your parents?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.