Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by what is this)
    So if a 1 in a million average guy manages to get a lot of girls it means that it invalidates what I'm saying?
    I know loads of "average" looking guys who get plenty of girls when they're single.

    There is far, far, far more to attraction than merely physical appearance. This works both ways, of course.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Rodger)
    I cannot believe what I am reading. So females consider niceness to be a standard thing that every prospective partner should posses? This cannot be the case, as even monsters such as Adolf Hitler were married. What it seems to me is that women consider dating a kind of exchange or trade agreement, wherein they consider what they'll get (handsome, rich, alpha attitude etc) to what they'll have to give up (sex, time etc). People who are just nice human beings attempting to fill the void in their soul for a passionate relationship fall by the wayside because they do not offer any exceptional resources to the women. I suppose it's like the empire of Rome choosing to trade with a far-flung nation because they have rare luxury resources, over another nation with resources similar to themselves.
    Hitler was probably perfectly pleasant to his wife. You are looking at it the wrong way, niceness is like bathing. If you don't bathe nobody is going to want you, but bathing on its own is not enough to sweep a woman off her feet. So what if you are nice? Women know dozens of guys who are nice to them, and one of them plays the guitar. What sets you apart from the crowd? Because being "nice" sure as hell doesn't.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by canadamoose)
    I disagree. I don't flirt with people I am not romantically interested in.
    lots of girls do though. not that thats a bad thing, i think its fun. alot of my female friendships have a flirty element, a lot dont.
    i prefer the former personally.
    like i said, its fun
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Any guys that are nice and have to make a big deal about how nice they are, are the exact same guys who whine about being friendzoned, read **** like The Red Pill, believe in ****ing PUA bull**** and truly believe their lack of success with women is because they're too nice.

    Little heads up: Your success with women isn't because you're too nice, it's because, most likely you're an *******.

    Genuine nice guys don't need to brag about being nice, these guys will get women.
    The non-nice arrogant guys get girls because hey, its attractive at the time and although theyre *******s and will treat girls like *******s, they're honest, confident and know what they are.
    But these "nice guys", who are "nice" purely to get women are actual *******s and this is why they're dont succeed.

    Guys should stop trying so hard and just be theirself, some women will like you, some won't. Who cares?
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by what is this)
    So if a 1 in a million average guy manages to get a lot of girls it means that it invalidates what I'm saying?
    No, because it's nowhere near that rare. If you are confident enough, you will attract women. Of course looks are important, but they are much less important to women generally than they are to men.

    Cole-slaw is right, you'd be much closer to the truth if you replace "good looking" with "attractive". Yes, good looking guys can get away with a lot, but so can other attractive guys- the confident, the funny, etc.

    It's the same with guys. Unattractive girls are so annoying, fit girls are quirky and interesting. Even more so- a stunning girl can have literally no redeeming features and be a terrible person in every sense except looks, and she'll still get constant male attention. Guys need at least some confidence.


    (Original post by Jakeh)
    Any guys that are nice and have to make a big deal about how nice they are, are the exact same guys who whine about being friendzoned, read **** like The Red Pill, believe in ****ing PUA bull**** and truly believe their lack of success with women is because they're too nice.

    Little heads up: Your success with women isn't because you're too nice, it's because, most likely you're an *******.

    Genuine nice guys don't need to brag about being nice, these guys will get women.

    The non-nice arrogant guys get girls because hey, its attractive at the time and although theyre *******s and will treat girls like *******s, they're honest, confident and know what they are.
    But these "nice guys", who are "nice" purely to get women are actual *******s and this is why they're dont succeed.

    Guys should stop trying so hard and just be theirself, some women will like you, some won't. Who cares?
    To be honest I think this is too far the other way. Being genuinely nice doesn't get you girls anymore than being pretend nice. I know guys who are genuinely nice, in the way you mean, they don't go on about it, they just treat people well basically, but can't get laid, because they don't have confidence with women.

    Looks are important, but confidence is more important.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    I know loads of "average" looking guys who get plenty of girls when they're single.

    There is far, far, far more to attraction than merely physical appearance. This works both ways, of course.
    To be honest, I talk from experience, I have never seen an average looking guy get a lot of girls. EVER. Never have I seen such an anomaly.

    Most of the time the sex average guys get is from relationships. Yes in terms of relationships looks isn't AS important [But still a huge factor and the most important one]. An average guy can get an average girl in a relationship, outside of that he would be lucky to get an obese girl for a ONS.

    It could be where I live [London] although that is unlikely.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    No, because it's nowhere near that rare. If you are confident enough, you will attract women. Of course looks are important, but they are much less important to women generally than they are to men.

    Cole-slaw is right, you'd be much closer to the truth if you replace "good looking" with "attractive". Yes, good looking guys can get away with a lot, but so can other attractive guys- the confident, the funny, etc.

    It's the same with guys. Unattractive girls are so annoying, fit girls are quirky and interesting. Even more so- a stunning girl can have literally no redeeming features and be a terrible person in every sense except looks, and she'll still get constant male attention. Guys need at least some confidence.




    To be honest I think this is too far the other way. Being genuinely nice doesn't get you girls anymore than being pretend nice. I know guys who are genuinely nice, in the way you mean, they don't go on about it, they just treat people well basically, but can't get laid, because they don't have confidence with women.

    Looks are important, but confidence is more important.

    They don't get women because they don't have confidence, not because they're nice.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by lucaf)
    Hitler was probably perfectly pleasant to his wife. You are looking at it the wrong way, niceness is like bathing. If you don't bathe nobody is going to want you, but bathing on its own is not enough to sweep a woman off her feet. So what if you are nice? Women know dozens of guys who are nice to them, and one of them plays the guitar. What sets you apart from the crowd? Because being "nice" sure as hell doesn't.
    Off topic, but it's worth noting I think 50% of the women we know Hitler shagged killed themselves.

    (Original post by what is this)
    To be honest, I talk from experience, I have never seen an average looking guy get a lot of girls. EVER. Never have I seen such an anomaly.

    Most of the time the sex average guys get is from relationships. Yes in terms of relationships looks isn't AS important [But still a huge factor and the most important one]. An average guy can get an average girl in a relationship, outside of that he would be lucky to get an obese girl for a ONS.

    It could be where I live [London] although that is unlikely.
    It's more likely to be age, how old are you? When you are a teenager, most people are pretty useless with girls, so the good looking guys win by default. This can cause a vicious circle where they get confident, so get more girls, but this is one of those correlation/causation things. Look at your attitude, you've given up before you've even started. "An average guy can get an average girl in a relationship"- you seriously haven't even seem average guys get fit girls? Happens all the time.

    (Original post by Jakeh)
    They don't get women because they don't have confidence, not because they're nice.
    But your quote was "Genuine nice guys don't need to brag about being nice, these guys will get women". That's what I'm disagreeing with.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    Off topic, but it's worth noting I think 50% of the women we know Hitler shagged killed themselves.



    It's more likely to be age, how old are you? When you are a teenager, most people are pretty useless with girls, so the good looking guys win by default. This can cause a vicious circle where they get confident, so get more girls, but this is one of those correlation/causation things. Look at your attitude, you've given up before you've even started. "An average guy can get an average girl in a relationship"- you seriously haven't even seem average guys get fit girls? Happens all the time.



    But your quote was "Genuine nice guys don't need to brag about being nice, these guys will get women". That's what I'm disagreeing with.
    But my point is right. I assumed we're talking about normal guys, not someone that lacks confidence? I mean, you can be a model and if you lack confidence still not be successful.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by lucaf)
    Hitler was probably perfectly pleasant to his wife. You are looking at it the wrong way, niceness is like bathing. If you don't bathe nobody is going to want you, but bathing on its own is not enough to sweep a woman off her feet. So what if you are nice? Women know dozens of guys who are nice to them, and one of them plays the guitar. What sets you apart from the crowd? Because being "nice" sure as hell doesn't.
    Thank you form confirming my theory. Women are not interested in love; they simply view relationships as a form of social trade and nothing more. Also, your bathing analogy makes no sense because you cannot decide to be clean to certain people, but you can decide to be nice to certain people (as in Hitler being nice to his Aryans and hateful towards everyone else). I must now figure out a way to manipulate this strange economy of dating.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    No, because it's nowhere near that rare. If you are confident enough, you will attract women.
    Confident matters, but only once you meet a girls minimum looks barrier. Most girls don't consider average men so no amount of confidence or other over compensation [Huge body built on roids etc] outside of extreme wealth or status will make you attractive to her.
    Of course looks are important, but they are much less important to women generally than they are to men.
    simply not true. In fact it's the other way around.

    http://www.science20.com/news_articl...en_pickier_men
    But men need to be exceptionally attractive to tempt women to consider casual sex, they say.....


    http://healthland.time.com/2009/08/11/the-science-of-one-night-stands/
    Women, in contrast, were much more picky—agreeing to head home or sleep with men only if they were very good looking.


    Also add in the fact that 80% of women only found 20% of men attractive:

    http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/yo...online-dating/

    It's the same with guys. Unattractive girls are so annoying, fit girls are quirky and interesting. Even more so- a stunning girl can have literally no redeeming features and be a terrible person in every sense except looks, and she'll still get constant male attention. Guys need at least some confidence.
    Guys are much more forgiving on looks. A male 7 will still give a female 5 a chance, a girl just needs to not be physically deformed or fat [Even fat girls online get attention thought but seldom in real life]. Just being average alone is enough to exclude you in 80% of women's eyes.

    Go to any club and see the attention the average, slightly chubby female receives. You will notice that good looking men are giving her attention, maybe not male models but decently good looking blokes who are in shape.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    Off topic, but it's worth noting I think 50% of the women we know Hitler shagged killed themselves.
    haha good point, maybe he was just charming to begin with
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Tbf sometimes it can go the other way.

    Tell girl I like her
    She kindly says she doesnt feel the same way and that im supposedly one of the "nicest guys she knows"
    I say fine. don't want to compromise friendship
    Talks for 2 months or so more
    blocks me on Facebook out of the blue
    that **** hurts...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mankytoes)

    It's more likely to be age, how old are you? When you are a teenager, most people are pretty useless with girls, so the good looking guys win by default. This can cause a vicious circle where they get confident, so get more girls, but this is one of those correlation/causation things. Look at your attitude, you've given up before you've even started. "An average guy can get an average girl in a relationship"- you seriously haven't even seem average guys get fit girls? Happens all the time.
    I'm 21 mate, just finished uni.

    Hopefully this is the case and as I get older my job, status and personality become more of a factor. I guess the only thing I can do is wait out and get my plastic surgery in time for my prime if it ever happens.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Rodger)
    Thank you form confirming my theory. Women are not interested in love; they simply view relationships as a form of social trade and nothing more. Also, your bathing analogy makes no sense because you cannot decide to be clean to certain people, but you can decide to be nice to certain people (as in Hitler being nice to his Aryans and hateful towards everyone else). I must now figure out a way to manipulate this strange economy of dating.
    was about to answer seriously, then I saw your picture. Good one!
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by what is this)
    Confident matters, but only once you meet a girls minimum looks barrier. Most girls don't consider average men so no amount of confidence or other over compensation [Huge body built on roids etc] outside of extreme wealth or status will make you attractive to her..
    I know plenty of average looking guys who have managed to get girlfriends, often girls who look far out of their league. Luckily people in the real world are not quite as shallow as you seem to think, I don't know what you are doing wrong but having average looks is certainly not an excuse.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by lucaf)
    was about to answer seriously, then I saw your picture. Good one!
    Currently you are committing the logical fallacy known as 'Ad Hominem'. It does not matter who makes the argument, only the value of the argument itself.

    Therefore I ask you again to either refute my claim, or continue trolling and be reported to the moderators.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by lucaf)
    I know plenty of average looking guys who have managed to get girlfriends, often girls who look far out of their league. Luckily people in the real world are not quite as shallow as you seem to think, I don't know what you are doing wrong but having average looks is certainly not an excuse.
    what about this then:


    http://www.science20.com/news_articl...en_pickier_men


    But men need to be exceptionally attractive to tempt women to consider casual sex, they say.....



    Actual science and studies agreeing with my observations.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by what is this)
    what about this then:


    http://www.science20.com/news_articl...en_pickier_men


    But men need to be exceptionally attractive to tempt women to consider casual sex, they say.....



    Actual science and studies agreeing with my observations.
    Well yeah, that is casual sex, personality barely factors in. Get a girlfriend.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by lucaf)
    Well yeah, that is casual sex, personality barely factors in. Get a girlfriend.
    Why would you want to get into a relationship with a girl who has gone through many men whereas you have barely had your share of the girls?
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 23, 2014
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.