Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

Do you plan to get married in the future? watch

Announcements
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Addapp)
    Obviously I will get married. Like a good christian.

    The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
    Genesis 2:18

    The lord God then created Pets At Home, and man bought himself a most awesome of dog.
    Genesis 2:19
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Greg Jackson)
    **** no, half marriages end in divorce and 90% of these divorces are initiated by women, only an idiot would get married in 2015 best of luck with your losing the house/kids + alimony goals of 2015
    This "over half of marriages end in divorce" malarkey is a myth and needs to end with some facts.

    Around 40% of marriages end in divorce, meaning the MAJORITY of marriages still succeed!

    Divorce rates actually peaked for those wedded in 1970s-1990s and has since declined. Anyone who married since the 2000s are less likely to divorce than before because people are getting married older and living together before getting married.

    Risk of divorce is greatest between 4th-8th wedding anniversary. After that the risk drops significantly and after your 26th anniversary it's almost nil.

    Because marriage didn't work out for someone else doesn't mean it won't work for you. Every relationship dynamic is different and it would be implausible to determine the outcome of one's own personal relationship/marriage based on the completely different experience of others! I think those who get divorced or have negative experience of marriage tend to shout louder than those who have had a lovely married life and therefore we normalise marriage as being a bad thing. I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by immediate and extended family who take marriage seriously and not one of them had had a divorce. I realise my exp will be different to others and so may be bias in some way but I see far more benefits to married life than not even when I look at it objectively.

    So to answer you OP, yes I do want to get married one day but like others have said I would not do it purely for the sake of marriage. I want to marry my equal, my life companion and partner in crime. People who are young, like very early 20s, or who have not lived with their partner are taking a great risk because they don't really know the person they are marrying. People change a lot in their early 20s! But in general i am pro-marriage given its under stable, ideal circumstances.

    Source (if you must) : http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/vsob1/...n-divorce.html


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Prenup pls
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    I have been married for three years now so for me marriage was important.

    We got married because we loved each other, are both Christian and knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together so marriage was the next step in that. While the wedding itself was nice that wasn't the reason we got married, I have always said that I wanted a marriage not a wedding. We moved in together after getting married and since have had a baby.

    Even before becoming a Christian for me it was important that I got married before having children. It give the relationship added legal protection regarding inheritance and your husband/wife becomes the person who can make decisions for you if needed (while much of this can be done with wills etc (though I am not sure whether as a partner you are exempt from inheritance tax) getting married does it in one go). Also for me personally having grown up in a family where my mum had a different surname (she didn't want to change her name when she got married), I really wanted for us all to have the same name (again can be done without getting married but easier when you are).

    For those you talk about their concerns about the relationship breakdown the one thing that I am not sure about is whether you intend to have children. As from a secular point of view to me that seems like the bigger commitment, you are committing to raise a person together and all of the issues surrounding relationship break down (sorting out finances, custody arrangement etc) are surely just as messy with you are co-habiting with a child?
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by randdom)
    I have been married for three years now so for me marriage was important.

    We got married because we loved each other, are both Christian and knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together so marriage was the next step in that. While the wedding itself was nice that wasn't the reason we got married, I have always said that I wanted a marriage not a wedding. We moved in together after getting married and since have had a baby.

    Even before becoming a Christian for me it was important that I got married before having children. It give the relationship added legal protection regarding inheritance and your husband/wife becomes the person who can make decisions for you if needed (while much of this can be done with wills etc (though I am not sure whether as a partner you are exempt from inheritance tax) getting married does it in one go). Also for me personally having grown up in a family where my mum had a different surname (she didn't want to change her name when she got married), I really wanted for us all to have the same name (again can be done without getting married but easier when you are).

    For those you talk about their concerns about the relationship breakdown the one thing that I am not sure about is whether you intend to have children. As from a secular point of view to me that seems like the bigger commitment, you are committing to raise a person together and all of the issues surrounding relationship break down (sorting out finances, custody arrangement etc) are surely just as messy with you are co-habiting with a child?
    I've also been married for 3.5 years, but not for religious reasons. It's interesting that you actively wanted to have the same surname as your partner; I did grow up in a family where my parents had the same surname, but I still wanted to keep my own. My husband did offer to take my name, but I persuaded him to keep his own in the end. Not sure yet what we'll do if we have children.. our names would make a horrible double-barrel, but we could always make a portmanteau of them instead. :^_^:

    I always thought I'd get married; my parents have been married for 45 years and my sisters have been married for 10 and 21 years respectively.. so I suppose that was kind of the 'norm' for me.

    BTW, love the Juliet and tiny Dogtanian. Was listening to the theme tune to that literally two days ago.

    PS Congratulations on the small one!
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Welcome Squad
    (Original post by *pitseleh*)
    I've also been married for 3.5 years, but not for religious reasons. It's interesting that you actively wanted to have the same surname as your partner; I did grow up in a family where my parents had the same surname, but I still wanted to keep my own. My husband did offer to take my name, but I persuaded him to keep his own in the end. Not sure yet what we'll do if we have children.. our names would make a horrible double-barrel, but we could always make a portmanteau of them instead. :^_^:

    I always thought I'd get married; my parents have been married for 45 years and my sisters have been married for 10 and 21 years respectively.. so I suppose that was kind of the 'norm' for me.

    BTW, love the Juliet and tiny Dogtanian. Was listening to the theme tune to that literally two days ago.

    PS Congratulations on the small one!
    Whereas I (sorry butting in here) had a very different view of marriage as a child.

    My parents' marriage was the second for both of them, and then my dad walked out when I was 6 anyway, and since remarried, so he's on his third marriage.

    I was raised by my mother who never remarried but had a string of boyfriends after my dad. She has 2 on the go at the moment.

    Yet here I am. Been with the same man since I was seventeen and fast approaching my tenth wedding anniversary.

    Life is what you make of it.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    Whereas I (sorry butting in here) had a very different view of marriage as a child.

    My parents' marriage was the second for both of them, and then my dad walked out when I was 6 anyway, and since remarried, so he's on his third marriage.

    I was raised by my mother who never remarried but had a string of boyfriends after my dad. She has 2 on the go at the moment.

    Yet here I am. Been with the same man since I was seventeen and fast approaching my tenth wedding anniversary.

    Life is what you make of it.
    Congratulations on your nearly 10 years! Most (though not all) of my friends whose parents are divorced/were never married are the same ones who aren't much interested in getting married themselves, and a few have been known to cite their parents' relationships as the reason they don't want to get married. 'Tis interesting that your attitude seems to be very much the opposite of that!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I will get married in about 1-2 months.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Was never that keen on the idea of getting married, but if I would have ended up with someone who wanted it, and I thought they were the right person, I probably would have not necessarily minded to change my mind. Bit of a non-issue now; I met my boyfriend after he got a divorce after twelve years, so he is definitely not particularly interested in marrying again.
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Welcome Squad
    (Original post by *pitseleh*)
    Congratulations on your nearly 10 years! Most (though not all) of my friends whose parents are divorced/were never married are the same ones who aren't much interested in getting married themselves, and a few have been known to cite their parents' relationships as the reason they don't want to get married. 'Tis interesting that your attitude seems to be very much the opposite of that!
    I am not very much like my parents. I learned from their mistakes 😉
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Yup, although for me family is tied up in marriage and the clock is certainly ticking on that front! :erm:
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    Yup, although for me family is tied up in marriage and the clock is certainly ticking on that front! :erm:
    It's usuallt women that have to worry about that sort of thing and I'm sure your little tadpoles are just fine the way they are
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    Yup, although for me family is tied up in marriage and the clock is certainly ticking on that front! :erm:
    You're still young but I would like to be married by the time I'm 26 for sure,the clock is already ticking .
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I don't think I want to. Honestly at this point I feel like if I do get married it'll be because some of the wedding ceremonies are fun.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    waste of money mate
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by queen-bee)
    You're still young but I would like to be married by the time I'm 26 for sure,the clock is already ticking .
    Why precisely that age - because of child rearing?
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    Why precisely that age - because of child rearing?
    Because of health reasons (doctor's advice) so I would like to get married just before my 25th birthday which seems impossible at the moment but it's doable.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Can't wait to get married, cuts my workload around the house in half
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Absolutely not. I see no reason.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    I was with my ex-wife a combined total of 22 years, 12 of it were in a marriage. We have 4 children aged between 21 and 4 though technically there is a 5th one but due to some circumstances that child is biologically mine but legally am not the father, next month will be a year since the divorce took effect.

    I consider myself very lucky because laws in Nordic countries with regard to divorce isn't near as punitive as those in UK or USA or Singapore. While I would have wished for it to have been handled better and hoped that she had shown a higher standard of conduct, I was essentially happy though angry that I had only lost 27% of assets, didn't bother challenging it either as to me something isn't really a problem if some money can solve it. I had long seen the writing on the wall that it would happen, while I had hoped that it could be delayed till our youngest was a bit older and could better cope without her mother being around, things simply didn't quite work out that way. As per typical me, I opted to solve the problem as quickly as possible and simply gave her the assets she wanted so she would just bugger off. She has yet to pay for a single kronor towards child support which she is supposed to or come to see our kids since last May, I no longer bother that she doesn't want to have anything to do with our kids, they cope just fine without her as there is their grandmother and a multitude of activities I had signed them up for that they had long since forgotten that she used to be in their life.

    Would I marry again?

    It is a bit difficult even if I wanted to, I don't want to marry someone that doesn't have as much assets or doesn't hold a networth that is similar to mine. I also don't particularly want to get involved with someone significantly younger than me and when it comes to finding women similar to my age group there is another issue to contend with that I don't really want to deal with and that is she may have her own children, I don't feel the need to be a dad to someone else's children. I don't want any more children either as I never really planned on having more than 2 to begin with and I don't particularly like the idea of having children with more than 1 woman. It isn't that I don't like children, however at this point in my life I prefer building up my businesses and accumulating wealth which requires me to devote quite a bit of my time.

    I do have a partner now, we don't live together for now. Would I marry her? I highly doubt it, she is 31 this year, don't have children but she is in a career that to the day she retires it would be unlikely she would ever make anywhere near the same money as I do now. Thankfully she isn't into marrying for now and isn't all that interested in having children so will see what happens.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 30, 2015
Poll
Do I go to The Streets tomorrow night?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.